At the very center of hell, Lucifer was sitting on his throne, which is made of the damned popes, bishops, priests, and religious. Their screaming echoed throughout hell. The Devil's face looked angry. Paimon was right by his side, serving him with utmost loyalty.
"Oi oi, why is he so pissed?" asked Mammon.
"You don't know? Apparently, Lucifer tried to seduce the current Roman Pontiff to violate his vow of chastity and commit sodomy. However, he failed and still has no clue why he failed." Asmodeus answered "But I do know why."
"What is it?" Mammon whispered.
"It's very simple, his seduction skill isn't as good as mine. He still has much to practice EEEKKKKKKKK"
Before Asmodeus could talk more, he was grabbed by the Prince of Darkness.
"I'm sorry, please have mer..."
Without letting Asmodeus finish his begging, Satan began to beat him violently. Both Mammon and Paimon knew their place and shut their mouths.
===
Lateran Palace
"Do you need me to bring the food to your bed, Holy Father?" Benedict's attendant asked after the cardinals had all gone out.
"Matteo, We can still walk to the dining room, no need to bring food to Our bed." Benedict said and got up from the bed.
A few minutes later, servants in the Lateran Palace could see the Young Pope walking down through corridors to get to the dining room. Benedict walked with a little difficulty due to the leg cramp he got when he just woke up from the...dream made by the Devil to tempt him.
===
As Benedict sat down and began to eat his breakfast...lunch to be more precise with the time of the day, Matteo took out the calendar for next week and began to read it to Benedict.
"Today, Sunday October 29 - 23rd Sunday after Pentecost.
Monday October 30
Tuesday October 31 - Vigil of All Saints. Fast and Abstinence
Wednesday November 1 - ALL SAINTS' DAY
Thursday November 2 [1]
Friday November 3 - Abstinence
Saturday November 4 - Abstinence
Sunday November 5 - 24th Sunday after Pentecost."
("Hmm...no All Souls' Day...maybe it wasn't celebrated at this period of time yet.")
Benedict nodded and asked:
"How did the people react when they did not see me celebrate Mass this morning?"
"They were surprised and worried for you, Holy Father, since you didn't appear to celebrate the Mass that we announced to be a Papal Mass. But Cardinal Ferrari, who stood in for you, assured the people that you were just a little bit unwell 'A small body with big responsibility' he said.
Your Holiness, will you celebrate Mass publicly in the afternoon or...?"
"No, We will...attend Mass at Our private chapel. We are afraid that We are still not...well enough, at least mentally to celebrate Mass yet."
"Um...about that, no priests are allowed to preach to you, Holy Father, except the one appointed by you to do so. And you haven't appointed anyone."
"...We will think about that later. For today, We will attend Mass without a sermon then."
"Yes, Your Holiness!...Can I ask one question?"
"What is it?"
"What did you scream out back when you just woke up, Holy Father?"
("Ah, that 'GO TO HELL'! We should be grateful that We said it in English and not Italian. Otherwise, it would be...")
"Does it affect your daily life?" Benedict asked back.
"No, Holy Father!" Matteo answered.
"Curiosity killed the cat. You don't need to know. Maybe We'll tell you someday."
"When is that 'someday'?"
"We will judge that."
***
[1] All Souls' Day was not celebrated in Rome on Nov. 2 until the 13th century