Gwendith examined her Animus scales. They'd crept almost all the way up her biceps though not quite reaching her shoulders. A hundred lumens worth of scales covered half of her forearm and she was close to reaching a thousand total. Her internal reserves had been humming at two hundred for quite a while now, and it had been absurdly easy to get it to that point. While her Animus density had only been cloudy at Apprentice rather than misty at Journeyman's end, Ancient Animus reserves remained photonic throughout her current stage.
She didn't allow the Animus scales to reach the threshold of eight hundred lumens, stopping at just seven ninety-nine. She smirked at the thought that she could simply allow the scales to continue replicating until her entire body was covered and would undoubtedly create at least tenfold more Animus in reserve. The higher number meant that she could regenerate more lumens per minute, and because most of her techniques just didn't require all that much Animus, it meant she should have effectively unlimited reserves.
Yuriko told her that her reserves regenerated at three lumens a second. It was a mind-boggling amount for a Knight back then. To get that amount, she had to have more than three thousand six hundred lumens in scales. Hmmm, perhaps she should work on regeneration efficiency?
No, no. She didn't use up that much a second. Her scales' advantage was that it was tough and resilient, negating one of her weaknesses. Her Anima wasn't suited to condense protectively around her body, unlike Yuriko or Heron.
"Almost there," she murmured. "I…can't wait." Heat suffused her body, in anticipation of her advance…and in anticipation of what Yuriko promised.
Unfortunately, she was halfway sure that her dense beloved didn't understand what Gwendith insinuated. More than a fifty percent chance, actually, but to dream fulfilled the ache within her heart.
The blizzard caused by the Chaos Storm had passed several days ago. She had not been allowed to help with stabilising the Veil since the leadership thought her frost and ice abilities would just make things worse. It was patently untrue since her Ennoia didn't just deal with cold but also heat, or lack thereof. Take the heat away and it becomes cold. But where would the heat go?
She idly created a ball of ice above her left hand, and when she transferred the heat to her right, she simultaneously created a ball of glimmering flame. She slowly transferred the heat between the two orbs, as was her normal practice every day. It didn't cost much Animus to do this, and instead, it was this strange energy that welled from a lattice around her Animus core. The Ennoia lattice, Yuriko said, and its presence was necessary for her to advance in the Ancient's Way.
This also meant, she guessed, that advancing her skill and knowledge of her Ennoia was a critical key to advancing further.
She thought about asking Yuriko to guard her while she triggered her advance, but after a moment, shook her head. Actualisation was a process done by the self. Yuriko wouldn't even tell her what would happen when she reached the requirements, only that doing so normally had detrimental effects.
"Historically, telling a Squire about what happens may or may not harm them," Yuriko said with an air of a student performing an elocution. "But it is certain that there has never been a case where forewarning will help. So there is no reason to take any chances."
"And how do you know that?" Gwendith asked. And that was when Yuriko revealed one of her greatest secrets.
"Damien."
"Who's Damien?"
Gwendith raised an eyebrow when Yuriko started. "You heard that?"
"Uh, yes?"
"Oh." Then she looked away, with a truly heartbroken look in her eyes. Who was Damien and why…why was her beloved so melancholic about him? A little bit of jealousy stirred in Gwendith's heart, but she stomped down on it. She had her hopes and dreams regarding the two of them, and she knew that Yuriko would not be tied down to a single person. She was fine with what little bit of attention she could get.
No, she wasn't bitter at all. Nope.
"I didn't expect the compulsion to be gone," Yuriko said, which alarmed Gwendith even more. She took a deep breath then said, "You know my Facet, before I walked the Ancient's Way, conjured the shadow of an Ancestor…"
What she revealed afterwards basically left Gwendith stunned with her jaw hanging. An Ancestor? An Ancient who was the one who enabled Yuriko to progress into the Way? And without him, Yuriko would have died right after her Atavism Ritual, and he was the one who helped win the battle against the Chaos Duke? He died afterwards which was why her beloved was so sad the past couple of Seasons.
Unbelievable, but then again, so was the fact that Yuriko was at the Knight-Captain level already. Huh.
Later, Gwendith heard that Yuriko told her parents about it, but from what she could gather, they thought it was simply part of her previous Facet.
It was strange. Gwendith remembered the name still, but after a while, it was as if the others didn't. Yuriko spoke to Heron about it, too, as well as her childhood friends, Krystal, and Mikel. And the Foster twins. Except for Heron, none of them remembered or placed any importance on Damien.
It was eerie, but Yuriko herself didn't put any more importance on the fact that others forget. The real question was why Gwendith and Heron remember now…
After she adjusted the edges of the outer scales, Gwendith felt she was as ready as ever. She took a deep breath, then allowed the formation of the last scale. She had been in a seated meditation pose in the Davar house's guest bedroom one moment. And the next, she was not.
Chaos mists spun all around her. There was no ground, no sky. Nothing but mists.
Until she saw golden threads spinning around her, touching every bit of her body, cocooning her protectively. She squinted and saw…a series of threads woven together into a thick cable, leading deep into the mists. She tugged on it and found herself moving towards where it led to. From the feedback, she was sure the anchor point didn't even notice her pull.
She crossed the mists quickly though there was barely any indication of movement. No streaming clouds and her body felt like she remained stationary, though on second thought that was true since this was only a reflection of herself in the place Yuriko called the dreamscape.
One moment, nothing, then the next, she saw a silhouette. Despite the fact that the shadow had zero defining features, Gwendith quickly recognized Yuriko. The cable led straight into her beloved's heart…no, that was Yuriko's Animus core, wasn't it?
It was a burning ball of Radiant light, bright like the Sun. She could see movement across the surface, spinning clouds, flares, and tempests. The cable went into the core, the entrance disturbed the cloud covering it enough for Gwendith to get a glimpse inside. It was a darker, more intense gold within. Heat radiated from the core but when she blinked, it was as if every little particle of Yuriko contained a fiery core within. It was awe-inspiring, frightening for the depths of her beloved's power, but the anticipation that Gwendith could reach those heights too was practically intoxicating.
She settled into a space just in front of Yuriko, but a step beneath. She gazed longingly, hungrily, at the apparition since she wasn't sure if Yuriko was really meditating. Although if she were, perhaps the shadow wouldn't be like that?
She waited patiently, eagerly. What would happen to her?
At first, nothing seemed to happen and Gwendith wondered if that was it. Or maybe…no, it couldn't be! Gwendith gasped in dismay. Did she fail? She knew there would be a trial of some sort. She guessed it from Yuriko's words. A trial? Why did it not initiate? Would she return to her body as a failure?
No. NO! It can't be!
But nothing was happening. Nothing other than Yuriko's shadow peacefully meditating in the dreamscape.
The patterns and swirls of her beloved's Radiant energy were hypnotic. Since there was nothing around them, the only thing of interest was watching Yuriko's patterns.
Each particle of her being had that little Sun within, but it wasn't as if they remained there only. Thin strings of Radiant energy, thinner than a hair and only visible because of the shadow stuff that made up the rest of her body. Each little sun was connected to at least five other suns via the threads, and Gwendith could make out minute energy packets moving across them. It formed a network that spanned the gap between the suns and the darkness. In fact, it was the presence of the threads that made the silhouette golden.
And the threads didn't stop at the body. They radiated outwards, filling the space around them. And that time, they were barely perceptible, the Radiant energy so dim that it practically looked like darkness. Yuriko's perception aura, Gwendith assumed.
Following those lines was more difficult, and she couldn't see where they ended. She knew Yuriko's current range was around a hundred and fifty-five or fifty-six paces. It would have been fifty paces greater but Yuriko revealed that something was restricting it. Her beloved's reach was more than a hundredfold greater than hers. Gwendith shivered in pleasure.
Yuriko made her feel safe. Protected. And more importantly, she gave Gwendith the power to protect herself. Now if only the World would cooperate so that it would come to pass!
Almost as if it were waiting for her call, more threads spun into existence, but not Yuriko's golden strings. They dove towards Gwendith, and she tilted her head back, ready to accept whatever may come!
But then…
The threads slammed into some kind of barrier, flattened, then splayed out towards the side and returned to the mists.
"Wha…" Gwendith gasped, despair painted her face. "No…" She reached out, trying to call them back.
She felt something preventing her from calling the threads, a membrane, a fog, a warm blanket on a cold day. She reached…it strained. Not to the breaking point, but she suddenly felt that if she persisted, the resistance would shatter and she could be free…
Free to do what?
Freedom to die? Freedom to be lost, captured, abused?
Would she sacrifice everything she had now to reach for some insipid idea of flying free?
Could she?
A wave of revulsion washed over her. She shuddered and pulled back. The membrane covering her dreamscape body receded just a little bit. Then, a strange premonition overcame her senses.
Fly free.
Stay.
Grow within safety and reach her fullest potential someday.
Fly free and die in a ditch. Fly free and get caught in a web, helpless as the monsters devoured her.
Remain under the shadow of one who holds up the sky.
Die when her protector dies.
Untangle herself from the Threads of Fate.
Anchor her being to another.
Conflicting thoughts crashed against the very fabric of her being. A duality of choice. One exclusive to the other. One stopping the other from coming to fruition.
One meant freedom, and the other meant bondage.
One choice forces her to hold her own. The other drives her under the protection of her patron.
One choice leads her away. The other choice allows her to stay.
It wasn't really a choice.
If she would die should her protector die, then she would endeavour to help as much as she could.
She would not have survived without her patron anyway.
She pulled back from the edge, and threw herself at Yuriko's shadow, hugging her beloved with all of her might.
Even should she fail, she could still press on. If no road presented itself, then she would forge a path. Beside her beloved.
Gwendtih sighed.
The dreamscape trembled.
Choice made.