I remember the day my mother went out to her friend's home she didn't came until after dinner. I cried for her. No one knew where she went they didn't know how to console me. I was so angry at her I didn't eat anything that day and closed the door refusing to let anyone inside. So there I was a crying mess my mother asked me to open the door and I didn't I simply wouldn't let her inside because I wanted to punish her. She understood this and stayed on the other side of the door we both slept that night with the door between us. I knew if someone could have won me then it was my mother. Father's sister a mean lady who used to visit us said me and mother was both the same side of the coin. Though it wasn't meant as a compliment I liked it and took easy on the laxatives I put in her drink now you know why she didn't visit us anymore. I was now very desperate earlier i could hide myself from Raja by covering up my feelings i couldn't do that anymore with everything out in the open. Raja was full on ignoring me even if I stood before him I couldn't get any reaction i shouted at him threw stones nothing could make him acknowledge me. I was downright pathetic sitting on the bed after an hour long attempt of wooing Raja. He simply would look at the other side now I understand i didn't want his love just his friendship which I believe I lost before even finding one. Anything would have made me happy his laughs our fights or even his calling me a brat. now I'm left with nothing just deeper hollow in my chest with which Raja carved out his name. I was almost done couldn't believe myself losing my sleep over a boy. I was a kid but still left with many feelings which I couldn't understand or avoid. I know Fanny came twice looking for me she knew something was wrong and I refused to answer my questions.
I wish I hadn't gone out that day to meet Raja because this time I did something which both impacted us neither of us could take back. We lost something of a relationship so fragile between us on that day. The wound it made on me and Raja was so severe that neither of us could forgive each other for many years. Actually it was a cycle I hurt him and he will hurt me this will go on till we called upon the fate and stopped hurting each other and starting to forgive ourselves. it took us a long way and this is my advice never let fate take us anywhere.
I decided the time was up I'm done letting Raja call shots in our relationship or friendship. it was now or never I put on my best dress and went to seek out Raja again this time I made sure Raja was not there and put on the ladder with great effort i climbed up it was tough but sheer determination made me do it. I stopped my breath once I reached the top and started to wait. Raja came after a few minutes he was surprised to find me on the top of hay it was very high for me Raja immediately asked me to come down. This was exact reaction I was hoping for from Raja. I said ,"No. First you admit you are sorry." He breathed a sigh for a second and told sorry little bit grudgingly. Now or never Ashu my mind told myself I repeated what I never would have said to anyone else before. "Today is my birthday I want you to give me a hug and wish me happy birthday ". His eyes looked horrified I smiled inwardly I was only half serious this time because I knew Raja will never do it. He said no ofcourse I made an act of jumping he looked a little scared now. Good I thought he reluctantly admitted yes I will do that. Will you swear that you will never stop talking to me I said again. Yes he said. "Please come down brat" he said. I smiled at him and said yes and immediately jumped he dived and caught me we bothfell down and I smiled at Raja triumphantly. He was really scared now he pushed above me and quickly stood up. I laughed at him and said I just got a hug from you he was no very angry I could see it in his face. I couldn't help myself but kissed him on his cheek ofcourse it was very funny. I turned my head for a second there it was one person who happened to seek me out being the good person she was afraid something was wrong with me. An idea just struck me it was a kind of pay back for him I looked at myself i was a mess there was a few hay stuck on my head and raja it looked like we both rolled on the hay or something. I pretended to cry and said see Raja pushed me into hay and he tried to I whispered my dress was a little torn. Raja looked shocked it was so funny but Fanny didn't think so . She looked confused at first then shocked and then I saw a rare expression she ever displayed it was rage. "How could you she is just a child". Raja looked utterly disgusted at my antics he tried to explain but she being my sister ran away. serves him right for being mean to me. Now he will not dare disobey me ever again. I slightly began to regret my momentarily brilliant idea it didn't look that funny may be I should apologize to Raja and say truth to Fanny. I immediately began to tell Raja but he did something he pushed me away and began to walk out but he couldn't go long there stood my father , Fanny and his goons there were five of them atleast. "Take her away ", he said.