Raja loves to read he makes time to read even in between heavy chores sounds and nuisance by that I mean me. He was reading a book called gulliver's travels a thick book in English. I'm no fan of novels yet what Raja do interests me way more. I sneaked around and was about to stole it simply because I wanted it to be mine because it held Raja's interest. "Put it back brat" said one voice my heart fluttered but stubbornness won. "Why coz you are going to be a graduate reading this". "No wait you have no time except to muck stabl". I laughed thinking about him going to college. Why you will ask i don't know may be i found it rather funny him studying because privilege has closed my eyes and him calling me a brat didn't help. "You are awfully hideous for a girl I don't know why your sister is very beautiful ". He better not have said that to me and I'm not proud of what I did later. Raja was standing looking handsome in a ripped shirt and shorts. I couldn't help myself i spit on him. I ran back to my home thinking about a million way to torture Fanny and kill Raja or both. I couldn't help myself they will be together after death not a chance I will just kill Fanny. No I didn't do it guys 12 year old has enough distraction that day my father bought us a new horse i named her Rani. It was kind of like a present for him from his friend as he was going abroad and not returning. I was with her till she took her last breath. She taught me the value of friendship and courage she was like my mother her love unconditional. I knew she has a secret hand in our relationship she kind of made him to love me. Rani brought us together I always knew she did that for me a great favor I to this day can't forget. That day was raining like anything I took Rani for a ride and couldn't come back due to pouring rain. I have seen disapproval in Raja's face while I took her out but he didn't say anything good for him we both took shelter under a big tree on the edge of our estate. A place normally no one visit because of ghost well that ghost is actually me. I was trying to scare a servant and he kind of told everyone about the ghost story all was good coz I was having gala time sitting here undisturbed romanticize Raja with me and it actually happened only he was brave enough to face me , ghost and the weather. "I came for the horse" was the only thing he said to me in sentence. But we both stayed under the tree Raja petting my horse and occasionally watching the rain me only looking at Raja thank God it rained and Raja is with me but all I said to him was nothing. Later he confessed he only worried about me ghost and rain he could have handled easily. When I came with Raja I saw Fanny waiting for me and hugged me and like that all the hate I felt melted away but that didn't stop me from annoying her I still would do that after all I'm her little sister. Raja left immediately took Rani also I prayed that he get sick so I could take care of him like Ramu kaaka's wife but he didn't I did. They were long days me laying down with my mother's doll I missed Raja the most I would have been very happy even if he asked about me. Raja told me he knew I was sick but didn't care to visit because who would want a stable guy to inquire after them. First thing I did when I woke up from my bed was checking on Rani. So it just happened he was standing before me all in shirt less glory washing down my Rani my visit wasn't futile . if I get to see this I will wake up every morning early without any help. I sighed and Raja turned stop creeping on me brat was all he said. His nerve I will show him I looked about and saw his favorite and only book gulliver's travels i picked it up and and threw it away to the the pit full of horse shit. Serves him right for saying that about me. His eyes were of unshed tears and immediately regretted that " it was my late mother's and you know what you got rid of one last sentimental object i had. Now get out of my sight before I murder you". I know he has forgiven me now but I haven't forgiven myself it was not something I could buy it for him. I did a noble thing for once in my life that day I gave Ramu kaaka strict order to give all servants sweet cake. I would have forgiven anyone if they give me. But Raja didn't come to eat at all so I also went to bed hungry because I was angry didn't know what to do. If only someone was there like my mother if I had courage to bear my heart out to Fanny stubborn as I was there was no hope for me. By early morning I decided to do one honorable thing in the world to tell him sorry but today was his turn to mess up. There he was naked as born fucking the hell out of our cook. She was moaning clutching his shoulders eyes half closed he was looking away. I was broken didn't know such a pain existed. it feels as though I was torn up pushed into deepest ocean stabbed many times. My eyes was watering for every one to see. Even Fanny asked what was wrong worried when I didn't snap at her. Ramu kaaka bought me water he didn't ask what happened he just held me tightly saying soothing words. I swear this man should have been my father. I would have been happy to be his daughter no matter how poor. I asked him later why he did that. He said he didn't know what happened he was hurting wanting to drink missing his family angry and the cook came holding a bottle of rum which he needed but couldn't afford. The sex was a pay back and he hadn't touched the old hag never again that one time was so hellish he had nightmares even now.