"Renly? Renly?"
A shout came from the direction of the passenger seat, and Renly didn't turn his head. He could tell from the voice alone that it was Nathan.
"Renly, are you okay?" Nathan's voice carried urgency and concern, but it was evident that he was trying to stay composed. Yet, there was a hint of a quiver in his voice, an undertone of tears that suggested he still needed some practice in controlling his emotions.
Looking at Renly before him, Nathan was like an ant on a hot plate, but utterly powerless.
This was only his second project as Renly's assistant, and on top of that, he was still a rookie assistant. However, during the filming of "Fast 5" not long ago, he had experienced quite a few challenges and grown rapidly. Even in the pre-production stage of "50/50", things hadn't been going smoothly right from the start. Problems had cropped up continuously.
Nathan was working hard to learn and rapidly adapt to his job.
After the recent interruption in filming, the crew immediately got busy preparing for the second round of shooting. On the other hand, Renly remained seated in the driver's seat without moving. At a glance, he appeared calm and collected, as if nothing was amiss, and no one expressed any concerns.
But Nathan sensed that something was off. He knew Renly well. During breaks in filming, Renly hadn't requested the script, water, or even watched playback. This was not normal, not normal at all.
Nathan realized he should go and check on the situation. Yet, he hesitated. What if Renly was deep in thought about his role? What if he was reflecting on his performance? What if he was gearing up for the next scene? Approaching now might disrupt Renly's workflow, and that would be counterproductive.
After much internal struggle, Nathan finally decided to step forward. He opened the car door with utmost care, minimizing any noise. But upon seeing Renly up close, Nathan was shocked.
Renly's body was incredibly stiff, with veins bulging. His expression remained placid, but sweat was seeping through his back, and his fingertips were trembling uncontrollably. Even his lips seemed to have turned pale. Clearly, Renly was enduring immense pain, pain so unbearable that not even biting down hard could suppress it.
Nathan felt utterly helpless. He wanted to help, but didn't know where to begin. He raised his right hand, attempting to pat Renly's shoulder, but froze before he could make contact. What if his slightest movement inadvertently made things worse for Renly? What should he do?
Nathan took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Panicking in this situation would only make matters worse.
"Renly, do you need me to call an ambulance? Or should I contact a private doctor?" Nathan's voice still trembled slightly, but he made a conscious effort to maintain a clear train of thought, keeping his eyes fixed on Renly's profile.
The sharp lines of Renly's face were now tense, and tiny beads of sweat could be seen on his forehead and at the corners of his brows. His complexion had turned pale and translucent, as if the color were gradually draining away. Faced with Nathan's inquiry, Renly didn't respond much, maintaining his usual expression. But Nathan remained patient and continued to inquire gently.
"Do you need to pause the shooting for Jonathan? Give you some rest?" Nathan was extremely anxious, but he forced himself to slow down his speech, gently asking, "Or perhaps... do you need a cigarette?" This was a spur-of-the-moment idea. Nathan remembered that when Renly was contemplating or feeling anxious, he was accustomed to holding an unlit cigarette.
Then, Nathan saw Renly's eyelids slowly come together, indicating his agreement.
"Okay. Okay." Nathan nodded repeatedly and lowered his head to take out the cigarette box from his pocket. He always carried cigarettes with him now due to Renly's habit. However, due to his nervousness and urgency, his fingers seemed a bit unsteady. After two attempts, he still couldn't get the cigarette box out, and then he heard a faint chuckle.
It was extremely subtle, like the rustling of fallen leaves.
But in Nathan's ears, it exploded like thunder. He suddenly raised his head and saw Renly turning towards him, a nearly invisible smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Renly gazed at him mischievously, a faint hint of mockery in his eyes.
Nathan felt his eyes moisten and, somewhat embarrassed, lowered his head, vigorously rubbing his eyes. Then, he laughed softly in relief. "Sorry, I'm always so clumsy." On his third attempt, he finally managed to retrieve the cigarette box and handed one to Renly.
Renly raised his right hand slowly, the movement excruciatingly sluggish. Even this small action seemed to be accompanied by immense pain. Nathan proactively placed the cigarette between Renly's fingertips, and he watched as Renly brought it to his lips, took a drag, and a faint look of comfort crossed his furrowed brow as the struggle against pain gradually subsided.
"Renly, do you want to ask Jonathan to pause for a while so you can rest?" In truth, what Nathan was thinking was that they should call it a night for filming. Renly's condition didn't look good. But he knew Renly wouldn't agree.
"No need." Renly rejected his suggestion, his hoarse voice carrying a hint of the Seattle late-night moisture. It seemed like he had finally caught his breath. "I'm just reminiscing about the performance."
The tobacco flavor between his lips and teeth wasn't strong, merely lingering like smoke around his fingertips and nostrils, but it helped relax his tense nerves. People were often prone to dependence on external things—drugs, sex, alcohol, cigarettes—because, for those brief moments, they could temporarily forget reality.
But for Renly, it was a wake-up call, a reminder: this was a new life, different from the last. He didn't need numbness or escape.
"Isn't acting a magical thing?" Renly said with a faint smile. "You can experience a life you've never lived before, and you can also relive a life you've truly experienced. It's like traveling through a time tunnel, reviewing history, deciphering the present, and envisioning the future. Moving between different roles and, in the end, reevaluating yourself."
Nathan opened his mouth but didn't know how to respond. His mind went blank, and in the end, he could only be straightforward and truthful. "I don't know. I'm not an actor, and I can't become one. But I do know that not every actor can be as outstanding as you."
The corners of Renly's mouth curved slightly upward. "Are you serious, or is it because you're my assistant?"
Originally, Renly was just joking, but Nathan took it seriously. He waved his hand in a fluster, sat up straight, and emphasized, "I'm serious, of course! I mean it!" There were countless pieces of evidence in his mind that he wanted to express, but his words got stuck. In the end, he repeated, "I couldn't be more serious."
Such a feeble attempt at self-justification left Nathan feeling helpless, his shoulders drooping in defeat.
However, this made Renly chuckle softly. "Thank you."
He wasn't sure if he was an outstanding actor, but he was sure that, at the very least, he was a dedicated actor who was striving to become outstanding, even exceptional. That was enough for him.
Even Renly himself hadn't anticipated that a light-hearted comedy sketch like "50/50" would be so beneficial. For Renly, the role of Adam might not have been the most challenging of his career, but it was definitely a pivotal role in his acting journey.
Renly felt lucky to have encountered Adam. Even luckier was the fact that Andy had brought this character to him.
If he had to go through all the pain he had just experienced during the filming of "50/50" again, he would still nod in firm agreement.
"I'm ready. Tell Jonathan we can continue shooting," Renly came back to his senses, took the cigarette from the corner of his mouth, and spoke.
Nathan didn't immediately nod in agreement. Instead, he carefully assessed Renly. The tense and despondent expression on his face had eased somewhat, but he still didn't look great. However, the vast starry universe in his eyes had once again ignited, and this made a heavy weight lift off Nathan's chest.
"By the way, what happened during the interrupted shooting just now?" Renly suddenly remembered this, having been lost in his thoughts until now, completely oblivious to external information. "Was it because of my performance? Did Jonathan have any specific requests? Was it a pacing issue, or did I overdo it?"
"..." Nathan opened his mouth and looked at Renly, who was clearly serious. Renly was genuinely self-reflecting, despite everything that had just happened. For Renly, acting always came first, and his self-demand was never relaxed.
With this in mind, Nathan swallowed his sigh of admiration, appreciation, and surprise, simplifying his response into a straightforward sentence. "No, it wasn't because of you."
Renly nodded in understanding. This indicated that his performance rhythm and direction were correct. No adjustments were needed.
"Okay, I got it." Renly withdrew his gaze, adjusted his breathing, and prepared to immerse himself in the shooting again.
Nathan knew he should leave and inquire with the director and production team about whether they would continue shooting from the interrupted part or start over for the entire scene. That was his job. However, he looked at Renly with concern and asked again, uncertainly, "Renly, are you sure you don't need a break?"
Renly didn't turn his head, but a slight smile played on his lips. "Of course not. I can't wait."
"50/50" was nearing its conclusion, and he cherished every opportunity to perform. Every single one.