Drake began searching the room, and eventually, they actually found a keyboard in the storage room. It was tucked away in a dusty black case that looked like it hadn't been touched in years. Opening the case, they found the keyboard carefully wrapped in foam paper, still pristine as if time had been kept at bay, unable to touch the keys inside.
They didn't know the story hidden behind this keyboard, but Renly couldn't help but wonder if there had been a dream sealed within this case, if a steadfast belief had been abandoned at the end of a rough and bumpy road.
Sitting at the keyboard, gazing at the bright black and white keys, he could even see his own reflection in them. Chaotic thoughts gently surged through his mind.
Humans are truly peculiar creatures, aren't they? We once believed certain things without a doubt, then dismantled those beliefs ourselves, only to rebuild them again. But soon, we realize these beliefs were still wrong, so we dismantle them once more, and rebuild again. Gradually, we become unrecognizable to ourselves, or even someone we once despised.
We comfort ourselves, saying that this is growth.
Yet, the innocence of childhood, the persistence of youth, those are things we can never find again. We once believed in dreams, freedom, and the future; we believed our own hands could change the world; we thought we were the center of the universe. We were once pure and authentic, as if we couldn't tolerate even a trace of impurity. But all of that, it fades into oblivion in the passage of time, transforming us into mere cogs in the bustling crowd of society, erasing all our edges until we all look the same.
Is this truly growth, or is it annihilation?
His hands landed on the keyboard, and the ethereal, clear sound of the keys flowed like moonlight, the delicate notes gently spreading within the lazy afternoon air. Suddenly, he looked outside the window and realized that the sky had been covered by dark clouds at some point, casting the entire world into a twilight gray.
[
You may call it in this evening
But you've only lost the night
]
The rich and weathered voice rose in the melody like wisps of smoke, carrying within it fragility and confusion. It was like a glistening teardrop suspended on an eyelash, blurring the vision but never falling. The bewildered loss rendered eyes unfocused, straining to survey the surroundings. The entire world plunged into a mosaic of dots, brilliant and colorful, but unable to find its target. The sensation of emptiness deep within began to descend slowly.
[
Preset all your pretty feelings
May they comfort you tonight
And I'm climbing over something
And I'm running through these walls
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
Everything you're trying to say to me
]
Felicity felt a tightness in her chest, as if a heavy blow had struck suddenly. Caught off guard, tears of despair filled her eyes, scalding her cheeks almost as if they might burn them. Her mouth gaped open, but no sound came out. She stood there, dazed, as if witnessing her world crumbling apart before her eyes.
They, it was they themselves, who had erected barriers between each other. They themselves had pushed one another out of their lives, wrapped themselves up again, giving up on communication, on conversation, and eventually, on trust. Thus, that once fervent, fiery heart began to slowly cool down.
She didn't know if she still believed they could continue to reach the finish line; he didn't know if he still believed their efforts were the right decision; she didn't know if she still believed their love could overcome everything; he didn't know if he still believed they were deeply in love with each other.
She didn't know, and he didn't know either. Beliefs and faith had collapsed with a resounding crash, yet they still didn't know.
This fact gripped her throat tightly, almost choking off her breath. Tears swirled in her eyes but couldn't fall. More terrifying than despair was their numbness. So, in the end, they weren't going to continue, were they?
[
I had the strangest feeling
Your world's not all it seems
So tired of misconceiving
What else this could've been
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
Everything you're trying to say to me
]
Felicity covered her mouth, afraid she might cry out in agony. What were they doing?
She accused him of cheating, but what was she doing herself? She yelled at him, but wasn't this war started by her? She complained he didn't want to live in London, but wasn't he trying his best? She lamented their growing distance, but wasn't the initial mistake hers?
She didn't want this, she really didn't. Those words weren't genuine, those accusations, that anger, those complaints, that exhaustion, none of it was real. She was, she was, she was just unsure if she should continue believing.
[
So open up my eyes
Tell me I'm alive
This is never gonna go our way
If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind
]
Felicity opened her mouth, trying to say something, but all her words got stuck in her throat. Her mind went blank, and she couldn't utter a single word. She wanted to tell him that she still loved him deeply, she still dreamed of a life together, she still believed they could overcome all obstacles, she still believed their happiness was each other, she still firmly believed, she still believed...
But the words were trapped in her throat, frozen in place. She could only shake her head vigorously, denying it with all her might.
[
Say something, say something
Something like you love me
Lest you want to move away
From the noise of this place
]
In the midst of that fervent and surging melody, that sorrowful and anguished cry completely shattered all of Felicity's defenses. Clutching her head with both hands, she cried silently. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She truly loved him so much, but she had pushed him further and further away herself. When that pain reached its climax, it made it almost impossible for her to breathe.
She was like someone skydiving high in the night sky, descending slowly, constantly descending. Gravity was dragging her down furiously, and that sensation of free fall triggered alarms all over her body. Yet, she remained unaffected, allowing herself to keep falling, the possibility of crashing into pieces becoming increasingly likely. Fragile and desperate, it brought a hint of exhilaration.
And then, she just stayed there, motionless.
[
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I wanna believe
Anything you're trying to say to me
]
"I don't even know if I wanna believe," that extreme skepticism filled with sorrow pulled her beneath the surface of the ocean. The immense impact of free fall surrounded her with icy seawater, the cold, bone-chilling darkness gradually devouring her flesh. Even her soul began to feel that heartbroken sadness.
How did they end up at this point? If time could rewind, would things be different? Was there any meaning left in continuing to persist? Why were they arguing, and why were they persevering?
She opened her eyes again, and in a trance, she became Anna, looking at Jacob's lonely figure, unsure of what to do. She became Felicity once more, gazing at Renly's focused profile, sorrow welling up. She transformed into Anna again, listening to the melody under Renly's fingertips, feeling lost. Then she became Felicity, hearing Jacob's mournful sighs, unable to hold back her tears.
[
So open up my eyes
Tell me I'm alive
This is never gonna go our way
If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind
]
Golden notes danced freely in the air, sad yet gentle, painful yet helpless, desperate yet lost. A faint emotion firmly gripped everyone's heart. In the rich, slightly hoarse voice, it fermented, wafted, and lingered. Those inquiries were more like introspective questioning. The bittersweet taste spread slowly on the tongue, while the lively and cheerful melody seemed like a march in a carnival, contrasting the ubiquitous loneliness and desolation, dragging at the ankles and causing them to descend, continuously descend.
Before her brain could fully comprehend, tears broke through the barriers of her eyes, sliding down her face in disarray.
They understood, each and every one of them understood. This was the story of Jacob and Anna, but even more so, it was the story of every couple deeply in love yet torn apart. Even if you love each other, it doesn't guarantee reaching the finish line.
No one could escape it, much like being enveloped by the melody, savoring every strand of emotion in the song. Like a seasoned troubadour who'd seen through the world's illusions, seen through life's struggles, a hint of detachment mixed with the sighs. No loud shouting, no wailing, no dramatic ups and downs; only the heartfelt rendition of the inner helplessness and sorrow, easily penetrating defenses, breaking through everyone's vulnerabilities.
Drake had completely collapsed, standing in place, shoulders slumped like a lost child, crying uncontrollably, unable to stop no matter how hard he tried. He knew they missed their chance, ultimately missed it. He missed the woman he'd loved for a lifetime, the woman he'd continue loving.
The melody came to a halt. Everyone turned away, embarrassedly wiping their tears, the sound of sniffling sporadically piercing the room's silence, disrupting it and making that sense of helplessness and sadness even more pronounced. Tears hadn't even been fully wiped away before their eyes grew blurry again.