Jennifer casually glanced around the room and quickly noticed the mess left on the adjacent bed: a deep blue backpack, scraps of paper, and some crafting tools. "Is today's activity about making something?"
To maintain muscle strength and flexibility, Hazel underwent extensive rehabilitation every day. Even activities as simple as writing, involving finger movements, counted as a form of rehabilitation.
"Kites," Hazel instinctively replied, but then realized it was an unrelated answer. "No, today's rehabilitation isn't about making something. It's..." Hazel felt irritated, not wanting to discuss her own rehabilitation any further. So she abruptly cut off her words, "Anyway, those things aren't part of the rehabilitation, just... just..."
Hazel couldn't find the appropriate words to describe it; this feeling was truly terrible!
Jennifer could sense Hazel's inner conflict and hesitation. She didn't press further, instead half-jokingly reprimanding, "So, what about the kite? Did this guy start making something and then run away?"
Hazel remained silent, turning her head to gaze deeply out of the window. Her expression was obscure and unreadable.
Jennifer was somewhat surprised by this. She walked up to the window and spotted the joyful crowd below. Alex was running downhill, holding a kite and trailing behind him was a little girl with the kite reel. Behind her squatted a tall man who held the kite string, controlling its speed. A group of children followed Alex aimlessly.
Laughter, chatter, and cheers soared freely under the early spring sunlight, breaking free from winter's constraints. The vibrant energy in the air burst forth, and many hospitalized children and their parents stood around, seemingly entertained, smiles unconsciously gracing their faces.
Inadvertently, the corners of Jennifer's mouth curved up as well.
Sinai Children's Hospital, as a pediatric institution, despite the collective effort to stay optimistic and the cacophony of children's laughter, the underlying heaviness in the hearts never truly disappeared. Those young lives tormented by illness were always heart-wrenching. But today, the laughter that had been scattered by the light breeze revitalized the entire hospital.
Turning back, Jennifer saw Hazel quickly releasing her clenched teeth. Yet, the lips that were gradually regaining color betrayed Hazel's previous action. Her stubbornness in her eyes couldn't conceal her burgeoning envy.
In the past few months, Jennifer had visited Hazel whenever she had the chance. Perhaps because they were both girls of similar age, Hazel didn't mind her presence, and they had become good friends. However, today, Hazel's reaction was indeed unusual.
After a moment of contemplation, Jennifer carefully asked with her tone, "Hazel, is he the one making kites?" Although not specifying, Jennifer's intuition told her that Hazel knew who she was referring to. Yet Hazel didn't directly answer; instead, she lowered her gaze and avoided the question, which made the situation even more peculiar.
Suddenly, a flash of insight struck Jennifer's mind. She tentatively said, "So, he's that guy?" The guy who had disappeared for almost eight months due to work.
Jennifer's ears had grown calloused from hearing the stories about that guy. Every nurse here knew him, and many of them sang his praises. Afterward, when he left New York for work, he consistently called back to inquire about the situation. Even Hazel wasn't an exception; she tirelessly shared anecdotes about that guy, as if those memories were all bright and vibrant yellow.
But as time went on, he never returned to New York. Hazel gradually lost her smile, almost believing he wouldn't come back, just like her friends who had gradually disappeared from her life. Thus, Hazel closed her heart once more, refusing to make new friends. Even her commitment to rehabilitation waned; it was as if she had given up.
Jennifer's words caused Hazel's eyebrows to furrow briefly, and the turbulence in her eyes was almost impossible to hide. Even without speaking, Jennifer had gotten the answer she wanted.
Without further ado, Jennifer turned her gaze back to the window. Since he was too far away, she couldn't see his face, only a tiny figure about the size of a palm. Yet, that radiant smile that could outshine the sunlight imprinted clearly on her vision, causing her gaze to unconsciously gravitate towards him.
"Yes, it's him," Hazel suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence in the room. "He's Renly."
"The legendary Renly!" Jennifer playfully remarked, the code between the girls couldn't have been more obvious. She was practically hinting, Hazel had a crush on Renly.
This jest made Hazel grit her teeth. "I just like the music he recommends," she explained, then felt it wasn't enough, so she added, "He's knowledgeable about a lot of things. Seems to know everything. I simply enjoy talking to him."
No one could know everything. But Jennifer didn't burst Hazel's fantasy bubble. Every girl would have a secret crush, an object of affection that seemed invincible, radiating a sun-like glow with every move. When he appeared, the world revolved around him. Every girl was the same. Jennifer found herself unintentionally reminiscing about her own secret crush. Was it high school? Middle school? The memory had grown so fuzzy.
"So, Renly has finally returned. Aren't you supposed to be happy?" Jennifer asked curiously.
Hazel silently stared out the window, a hint of envy in her eyes. She envied those who could run freely, feel the firmness and weight of the earth beneath their feet. She envied those who could laugh out loud, their lungs never burning or feeling constricted. She envied those who could enjoy the sunshine like normal people, speaking, writing, walking—things that were taken for granted by other patients, slowly being stripped away from her body. She felt humiliated.
"But he'll eventually leave again, won't he?" Hazel said softly. After experiencing separation after separation, she had grown tired of it.
Jennifer sighed softly. "How can you be so sure he isn't worried about your departure deep down?"
"How can I leave? I'm trapped here! Forever!" Hazel exclaimed, a flush spreading across her cheeks. She sat up, clenching her fists, using all her strength to express her anger.
Jennifer wanted to give her a hug, but refrained. She knew that in this moment, Hazel didn't need comfort or pity from others. "Hazel, you know what I mean." The disease, FOP, currently had no cure. So, when time's end came, Hazel was likely to be the first to leave, not Renly or anyone else. "Renly chose to come back. He has more courage than most. But you've chosen to escape."
Jennifer's words were cruel, brutally tearing through Hazel's defense. It left her feeling exposed, yet Jennifer didn't stop there. She continued, "Doctors say you can still walk." Hazel's disease had progressed faster than anticipated but hadn't deteriorated to a dire level. Hazel could still walk, yet she had chosen to give up.
Hazel was struck with pain, rendered speechless. She could only shout at Jennifer, "You don't know. You don't know anything. You're healthy, standing there, laughing at my misery. Your words sound so easy, but you don't know what they mean to me!" Hazel pointed towards the door. "Get out. I'm asking you to leave!"
Jennifer opened her mouth, wanting to say something more, but after hesitating briefly, she ultimately walked away in long strides.
She wanted to help Hazel, desperately wanted to help, but she was still too young. In the twenty years of her life, she hadn't weathered such fierce storms. Sometimes, even if she wanted to assist, she felt powerless. This sense of helplessness and frustration made her resent herself.
Yet, she also knew this wasn't about her. The patients who suffered from the disease were the main characters. She couldn't force her goodwill on them due to her own sense of powerlessness and urgency, could she?
Leaving the room, Jennifer's mind was a tangled mess. She didn't even look up before encountering the wall near the doorway. She instinctively stepped back half a pace, then raised her head to see Renly standing at the door. She stared in surprise because she immediately recognized him. He was the man she had encountered at the Los Angeles airport last time. The kite he held in his hand implied that he was the Renly Hazel had mentioned. The information was overwhelming, and Jennifer was completely caught off guard.
Renly also saw Jennifer before him. The corners of his eyebrows lifted slightly. He had heard the tail end of their argument earlier and wondered who it was. He hadn't expected to see someone entirely unexpected. However, there was a more pressing matter at hand. Renly smiled at Jennifer, nodding slightly without saying much. He pushed open the door to the hospital room and walked in.
"Get out!" Hazel hadn't even seen who the newcomer was, but she shouted angrily. However, this time she received no response. So, she yelled again, "Get out of here!" She lifted her head and then saw Renly.
Renly was holding a butterfly kite, standing there with a serene smile. He showed no sign of surprise or concern due to Hazel's emotional turmoil. He simply stood calmly and peacefully.
Hazel felt as if she had crashed into a cotton wall, unable to exert any force. It felt terrible. So, she turned her head angrily, refusing to communicate with Renly in any form.
Renly took a step forward again, walking to the window. He carefully positioned the kite and then took a couple of steps back to inspect it. Once he was satisfied, he turned towards Hazel and offered a smile. "I'm leaving for now. See you next week, Hazel." As if nothing had happened just now, Renly walked over to the side, tidied up his belongings, and left the room.
The room quieted down once again. Hazel's gaze, however, remained fixed on the kite. Beyond the transparent window was the azure sky. The kite rested motionless there, an oddly harmonious sight despite its incongruity. In her mind, she couldn't help but envision the butterfly kite soaring into the sky.