"What do you want to talk about?" she asks, standing in the center of the room.
Atian looks up at her face and he frowns. Shi Lian notices him frowning but she does not know the reason for it.
"You were crying, weren't you?" he asks sternly. So that's why he was frowning before. Hu Atian knows her well to identify if she was crying or not. Whenever she says something looking down at the floors, that means something is up and she is upset.
"I was not" she replies, looking somewhere else other than his face.
"You know you are bad at lying, right?" he sighs. Shi Lian does not say anything because she knows he is right and she hates to admit to it. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you," he says.
Shi Lian nods as a sign to proceed.
"Before the accident, when we were in the car you said you loved me. do you love me…..still?" he asks nervous and anxious.
Shi Lian's heart skips a beat; the question had caught her in surprise and she is unware how to answer it. "I-I ….why are you asking this?" she says in a panic tone.
"After I was discharged from the hospital, I always felt something is missing, it was like my soul was empty and I couldn't understand what must be the reason. I asked everyone in my family but no one utters anything. I felt helpless, annoyed, and angry…..on myself of why I took so long to regain my memories. The moment I regained my memory, the first thing that came to my mind was your face. I tried calling you thousands or more than that but later I got to know you were in America. I should have come to visit you here but I just couldn't after whatever happened ….what my mother said. I-I I was broken, ashamed…I wanted to see so badly but I had no access" he pauses to catch his breath and continues again, "Those past years were hard on me….I missed you so much…..everything of mine is related to you. Without you, there's no me. Shi, I love you. I always have and always will."
'Don't! Hold it! Hold it!' she controls herself not to break into tears, not in front of him. Everything he said, every word, she longed to hear those words from him. She knows she loves him, with all her heart but she can't. She came this far, she can't be returning to her past no matter what.
"You…think it was ea-easy for me? I was forced to break ties with you! I was restricted to see you! I was helpless *weeps*…..broken and broken. The moment you said that you didn't know me *weeps*…it was like m-my heart is shredded into pieces. I couldn't breathe…. *weeps* I just cannot…" she lets her heart out. She finally let her emotions out which she kept buried in her heart for so long.
"Shi…"
"It took me a lot of courage to let go of my past and be the one I am now….I cannot afford to go back….never."
"You don't love me anymore?" he gasps with panic. He will be devasted if Shi Lian says no. "You once said, 'Love never dies, only the feeling fades'….I couldn't understand it before but now…. I have-"
"Stop! Please don't do this, please!" he screams in fear. "I-I am sorry *weeps* I am really…really sorry" his whole is shivering now. He sits on the bed putting both hands before his face to cover it.
"Sometimes, things don't work out the way we want it to" she quotes, smiling bitterly and at the same time whimpering.
They both have been quiet. No one is uttering anything. Hu Atian's eyes are red from crying and he is still shivering, clenching his palm tightly to keep his composure. Shi Lian sits on her study table; her eyes red as well.
"So there's no hope for us, right?" he asks, his voice barely audible.
"Yea…." She sighs a long sigh.
Again, the room is silent.
After five minutes or so, Atian says, "Can you fulfill one request of mine?" Shi Lian looks at him, she is thinking that he still wants to talk about it.
"What is it?"
"Can we still be friends? Please?" he asks innocently, his sad eyes have cried enough.
"Atian, I-"
"Please, Shi…only friends. I have lost you before….I don't want to lose you..as a friend this time. So please…" Being friends sounds alright but who knows what might happen next. She is confused about whether to say yes or no.
"…..Alright. we can be friends, just friends" she agrees but still, she is not sure about it.
"Thank you…" he looks satisfied and happy.
After their hearty talk, Atian takes his leave saying goodbye to them.
"What did you both talked about? I mean I am surprised that you even talked to him!" Mo Sha Sha asks Shi Lian out of curiosity.
"It was….we sought things out" she says, playing it cool.
Sha Sha raises her eyebrow and follows her daughter to know more about it.
"We sought things out? You got back together?" she asks excitedly, trailing behind her.
"No! Mother, it won't be happening"
"Then what did you meant by 'we sought things out'?"
"We agree to let go of our past and have a fresh start. We will only be friends, nothing else" she states without any hint of emotion, as she got well in pretending.
"Oh….."
"What, you don't believe?" "It's not that I don't believe you, the thing you said having a fresh start…was Atian happy about it?" she asks with concern.
"Yeah….he agreed" she answers her turning in the direction opposite to her mother in an attempt to take a cookie.
"Shi, about being friends...-"
"Yes, I know what I am doing. Don't worry mother, I am not that weak" she smiles. She is trying her best to hold her up and pretend that everything is going well and it won't be a bad sign to be friends with her ex-boyfriend.
"You are my brave daughter, my very own Shi" her mother caresses her cheeks, encouraging her.
×××××××××××××
Hu Residency
"Atian, where did you go?" his mother asks when enters.
"To meet Shi" he replies firmly, taking a seat on the sofa in the living room.
"You did? What did she say? Did you got back together?" Hu Meng asks excitedly, sitting next to her son.
"It went well. She didn't say anything hurtful if that's what you meant" he points it out, "and no, we are not back together."
"The last time I met her, she was like this a completely different person….the way she addressed me.. was hurtful. I regret very much what I did and I did apologize to her. It's agreeable that she does not want to forgive me but she just ….she just…" she break into tears.
"Mom…." He calms her.
Over the years, Atian talked to her mother frequently. When he got to know what her mother said to Shi Lian, he was in a rage; he stopped talking to her. Their relationship was bad over time but slowly they are trying to mend, and be like they used to.
"We agreed to be friends," he tells her.
"That's-that's great.." she says, wiping her tears.
"Yeah, I guess so.." he mumbles.
"It will be fine, Atian" she encourages him, holding his hand tightly with mother's love.
"I will be going to my room," he says to her with a smile.
×××××××××××
Mo Mansion
It's almost evening, Mo Zheng Yuan will be coming soon from his office. As she said to spend the day with her mother, it went well. They baked cake and made dinner. Shi Lian is in her room; she is analyzing the data of the company of the past six months. The Mo company used to be in the second position in fashion after the Fu group in entire Asia.
The Fu's, Mo's, The Li's, The Sheng's, and The Hu's are the five top companies that are leading their business to every continent possible. Before the company was in this situation, it was at the top but now it lowered to the last position. Sooner or later, The Mo company might be erased from the history of fashion if this goes on.
"The Fu company is exceptionally well. Only in five years, it has reached to top. It says the success was all because of the President" she reads the article on the internet about the Fu corp.
'Huh? The President is only 27 years old?' she is amazed to know that the president of one of the biggest companies is so young.
"Let me see his picture" she is curious, "theirs only a handful of pictures of him…but why is the network so slow?" she curses the laptop for being such a blockhead. "Loading…Loading" she aits patiently for the picture to get open. "C'mon! Only 40% left! Fast! Fas-"
"Young Miss!" Nanny Zhang's voice startles her.
She opens the door for her and sees Nanny Zhang's bright smile.
"Miss, the Master is back and Madam has ordered you to come down," she tells Shi Lian.
Shi Lian nods and goes back to shut her laptop. She Lian got up and hastily closes the laptop without seeing the picture when she was this close.
If she might have seen the picture, what would be her reaction when she knows that the man is the one with whom she lost her virginity with?