I couldn't believe that Bucky contemplates suicide. I do, however, understand that the weight of the things he has done during Hydra's control over him can be a huge burden. I hope that I can help him cope with the guilt even if I can't take care of my own.
As my birthmark burns all over again, my canine teeth cut into my lip. Not again. Why does it always have to begin this week? How come I never seem to become a demon when I am with them. As I go into a blood thirst spree, my throat seems to be lit on fire. I roughly tug on my shirt gripping the ends tightly.
"Are you okay, Juliet? You seem to be on edge."
I bare my fangs to Natasha, along with gripping at my throat. "Monster period. Vampire this time," I begin to whimper as the painful craving start to happen.
"I don't understand why this mutation happened. All I know is I can hear your blood pulsing through your veins. I wish I didn't have to be stuck like this for a month."
I hate that I will suffer this insatiable thirst for blood for thirty one days. Urge to kill whoever becomes unlucky enough to be my prey. I really hope this had nothing to do with Hydra.
"I can't be here; no one is safe when this monstrosity takes over and rears its ugly head. I could never forgive myself if I hurt any of you guys."
With that being said if you don't mind, I have a Canadian forest to go to," I teleport out of the building before they could try to stop me.
I walk around until I find my favourite tree. I climb up to the top of the tree. I fight the urge to go back to the tower and drain everyone of all the blood they contain.
As my body temperature drops significantly, I'm slamming my hands against a window. I can no longer move. Numbness completely takes over my body. Screams become frozen inside my throat waiting to be released. I beg for death to take my life, yet it never comes.
My body violently jerks forward. I wake up harshly leaving me in a daze. It hits me that the dream was a part of Bucky's past with Hydra. I look around to realize I am back in my room. "Is there a specific reason for you being in my room other than the fact that you gave it to me?"
"I wish you would just stop running away from us."
"I run away to protect you, Tony, all of you. I didn't even know I teleported back. I don't want to hurt or kill anybody. I can only control these monsters stuck in my body for so long."
"You don't think we can help you?"
"That is not the problem. I know that my problem can't be fixed unless Steve or Bucky kills me."
"How would you know if we never tried?"
"If only I had let Bucky kill me that Christmas, then I wouldn't have all this guilt of the bad things I have done."
"You should know that someone else would of taken your place."
"You don't think I know that? I wouldn't want this on anyone else. Instead, I just take whatever Hydra does to me, regardless of how terrible. You could never understand what I was forced to endure for all those years. Thankful for no one else having to suffer what I would go through on a daily basis."
"Hey, Tony, I think we finally located where in the forest she is."
"She's not there anymore, Steve, seeing as I am right here."
Arms lift me up and spin me around. A low hiss slips out of my throat. Another set of arms pull me off. Red is the only thing I can see. My eyes take a few seconds to go into focus. The sight before me horrifies me to no certain extent.
"Steve, I'm..."
"You need to go, Juliet."
"But, Ton-"
"Go now." He screams at me.
I force my legs to move as I was frozen in place staring at Steve. The taste of iron stuck in my mouth. My heart threatens to leave my body. Everything around me turns cold.
I can't ever go back. I just can't hurt anybody else. Everything turns to black as my vision goes to a different time.
A family of four tied up to chairs.Covered in my blood, there is no evidence of any cuts. Hydra agents outside the house waiting for me to come out.
"I won't kill you, but you will need to play dead since there are people coming in to check. After that, you will need to change your names and leave the country along with living a quiet life. If you decide to do nothing, you won't have a second chance at life."
I walk out the door as Hydra agents start pouring through the doors. My heart races at the thought of their lives in my hands. I really hope they heed my advice.
My breath quickens just thinking about what I had done to Steve. I can't believe I bit him. I should of had more control of my actions. I don't think I can handle being around people ever again.
Nothing will ever be the same. Bucky is going to hate me forever. He will never forgive me for this. I deserve to die for hurting let alone biting Steve.
I realize I was back in the old Siberian Hydra base. I move freely around the Hydra base. No one is around, so I walk toward the room with the other winter soldiers. I don't know how someone could kill them without feeling any sort of guilt. I teleport into my old room.
I wonder around for quite some time. I slide my hand beneath the mattress pulling out the hidden files I stole from mine and Bucky's handlers. They never did know where the files had gone. I proceed to fight the urge to drink human blood.
I can't control the thirst anymore. I know I can't ever hurt anybody else. Instead, I sink my fangs into my wrist and suck the blood pouring out in a steady flow. The hunger pain and bloodlust simmer down to a more manageable sensation.
I leave for another part of the base. My fingers glide across the metal chair in the center of the room. Blood curling screams echo throughout the room. I wince at the heart wrenching sound. I fall to my knees and cover my ears as the screams manage to become even louder.
Something is wrong; I can feel it like a sudden shift in the air. The feeling continues to thicken at an alarming rate. The surroundings around me change drastically.