I dug my feet into the ground to push some more power out of my body. When I realized It wasn't useful, I tried to lunge back but before I even could try he punched my across the face. I've never been in this amount of pain in my life, It was like my face was being burnt by the power of the sun.
As crazy as it sounds, I felt something so electric, it completely overwhelmed me. Totally unexpected. As he ran up to me I kept throwing punch after punch, trying to hit him as many times as possible. I realized that after trial and error, nothing I was going to do would work. As he swung at me and I tried ducking while grabbing his fist but he could read me like a book. Nothing I did would work, I took hit after hit by my father, I could almost picture the combo number like in a fighting game. I decided to stop the fight completely and give up. I jumped back a couple feet and began to yell to my father.
Me: Dad.. why do we have to fight like this, we're family it doesn't have to end like this
I said this as I tried to grasp as much air as possible, Just a few punches from my father had me at my limit. My stamina just can't keep up with longer fights, I always knew fighting wasn't for me but I didn't think it was to this extent. We live on the top of a huge hill making things almost unbearable. The only reason I could hold things together in the forest was because the trial seemed to be a dream. Fighting in the dojo was easier because it was a controlled environment, this my body was trying to adapt to the grass and rocks, and the direction of the wind. Non of my attacks had coordination like they did before, Just the simplest thing like wind was throwing me off. I never thought of how environment played into fighting.
For a second, it seemed like I was going to die.
After my fathers last punch he jumped back in a way where it looked like he noticed me fading, none of that mattered to me though, all I could muster was standing. I stood and pointed my head upwards letting the wind hit me; I saw the stars glowing in the midnight purple sky. The wind hitting my face was refreshing; it dried some of the sweat running across my face. While I stood there, the thought came to me, how did all of this happen. I never stopped to put any pieces together, everything was so confusing, a set of events that made absolutely no sense. Maybe if I had gone about this differently, none of this would happen. I spent all my time trapping myself in the dark, not taking things one step at a time, effectively putting myself in this position.
My father stood before me trying to take my life. We never had a poor relationship, he's always had faith in me. But why? What about this stupid forest made it so my life had to end? Why did I even go in there to begin with?
Before I ever knew it, I started to faintly see colors again. The drive had effectively disappeared from my mind; I put all the blame on myself. In reality, everything leading up to this was my fault; why couldn't I have just been a bystander, why didn't I just listen. My mind was jumbled with confusing and downright mislead thoughts, I was always hard on myself and in the heat of the moment my mind made stuff up to put myself down. When I got a small taste of power I gained confidence for what may be the very first time, But just as fast as it was gained; it was completely and utterly shattered to pieces leaving me in a spiral of my own demons. The demons I created myself.
My father appeared in front of me at what seemed like super sonic speeds, he stared me down with eyes that showed signs of suffering and pain, maybe even tints of anger.
Father: Why did you have to do this son.
I tried to reply but by the time my lips began to move I felt a fist puncture through my stomach, I was in so much shock there were almost nothing for me to say. I titled my head downwards and saw blood spewing out of me like someone turned a fossette on and let it run. I felt so cold, there was no pain, actually maybe a tingly feeling. I felt an odd sense of peace, I was gonna die right here. My reasoning for peace of mind was that I did it fighting; my passion and reason for living. I fought in pursuit of strength because of my weakness and illness, I was okay with a death that Involved fighting. My body went limp and I fell to the ground, my vision slowly turned black, and I knew my time was up. I could barely make out my father standing above me, he wore a poker face and looked down on me. I still don't understand what happened but if I was to die here, non of it would matter, so I just didn't care.
I used the rest of my lifespan to utter out two words.
Me: I'm sorry.
Everything went black.
As soon as it went black though, My vision came back but the environment was completely different. The sun was hiding behind clouds leaving the sky a gloomy gray as I raised from my bed. It was around 10AM, I was confused to why I was even awake, I just died. Why does it feel like a repeat of this morning.
As I stood up, I felt the blood rush to my head, and I got lightheaded from the speed I had stood up with. I began walking through the hallway outside my room. Something about today felt weird, maybe a gut feeling. My chest was pounding and something was fogging my head up. It was almost like my brain was trying to remember something; I ignored it and continue walking down the empty hallway. Once I made it to my living room, I grabbed a bottle of water that I had left there from the night before; it seemed to have enough water for me to take a couple sips, just as it was when I woke up this morning.
I walked down the stairs of the porch and felt the concrete poke into my feet a little; I grabbed my shoes from below the stairs where they're always left on my arrival home. It's just kind of always been my tradition to leave shoes outside, never really knew why, just felt right. While I was putting my shoes on I noticed the sky had a weird orange and gray color to it, almost reminded me of a doomsday, this was probably the only contrast from this morning. I ultimately decided to walk to a local park to cool my head off and asses the situation I'm in. I began walking but heard an oddly familiar voice
??: Do you remember why you died?
Once I heard this, it sounded unfamiliar yet so close, it almost sounded like me.
??: How are you gonna change fate, will you stay weak forever.
I looked around the area I had sat down in; it was an empty park, not a person or animal in sight, nothing more than the trees swaying back and forth blocking the sun away from the ground. At this point I panicked, why was I hearing things? Was I losing my mind?
As my panic begun, everything hit me at once. What seemed like years and years of memories flew through my head like water heading down a river, I could barely even think for myself in that moment. I saw not just the death of my friends, but my parents, teachers, police officers, everyone died, and saw it hundreds of times. I saw missiles and bombs that lead to pools of bodies and blood; it was like someone spilled gallons of blood on the floor. I saw infinite moments of sadness, anger, and sickness. It was like I was seeing a nightmare roll on repeat
I cried for what felt like the first time in years, or had I cried before, or after this? I had erased my perception of time for good with these memories; It felt like true omniety. At this very moment, I could see the past, present and future all at once with no issue. At this moment, I took a few deep breaths and began to cool my head off a bit. I also took slow and small sips of the water I brought, it tasted old, maybe even a few nights old; bottled water left overnight just had a distinct flavor to it. Once my mind settled, I felt nothing but true anguish and heartbreak, why did fate give me such a hard time. I broke my mind at this point whether I liked it or not. Another issue is, it seems like I haven't just lived this life once; I lived it at minimum a few thousand times, so many dramatic scenes exist in my head all, none of them seem like I made them up, it all felt so real, not even my deepest and darkest fantasy's came close to this. I kept asking myself if it was real, was I just going crazy? Should I trust these supposed lives I lived? As tried calming down, I remembered something vastly important. The girl I had once saved was standing right behind me. I turned around and she wasted no time getting into it with me.
The girl: So you finally decided to remember all the worlds you went through?
Me: Are these memories real? I can already tell you have something to do with this now.
The girl: It's not a matter of them being real or fake, they didn't happen to you, or even on this planet. They exist throughout parallel universes, The trial you took before your previous death was to test if you could handle the memories of past worlds.
Me: So I'm assuming the day we "met" was a lie, that was a setup wasn't it.
The girl: You are a lot smarter than some of the previous versions of you.
Me: So how am I alive?
The girl: Jesus you just keep asking questions ah? Well to start, Your consciousness exists between all of the universes in existence, split into multiple pieces. I can move consciousnesses before someone dies to another body, it has one downfall though. The you from this world is technically dead, his part of consciousness was overwritten by yours. He's gone forever now. You only exist in a shell of someone else's body
When I heard this my heart dropped, even if it was me, the me of this world died. He gave me another chance yes, but he lost the chance to live his own version of our life without the chance to choose if he wanted to live. That's something that weighs down on my soul to this very moment. There was already enough weighing my mind down, now the weight of taking ones life exists to.
The girl: This world is ridden with tyranny and meritocracy, billions of people will suffer over the next 10 years. You know the fate of countless worlds but not this one, I gave you this information so you could consider saving everyone. Are you up to the task?
I was confused on why she even did this, she knows all about my past lives, I never managed anything special, I was never even able to beat my father in any life I lived.
Me: Why me?
The girl: I'm supposed to babble on about how your some chosen hero or nonsense like that, but honestly I'm tired of seeing you live a life full of failure bound by the fate of the universe. So I brought you to a world not bound by any fate. You can quite literally create the path you walk without issue. This is the only chance you will ever get.
Everything she said was confusing and almost didn't make sense, but I heard one thing I liked. If this world truly wasn't bound by fate, I could become strong. I could live a life of peace, for the very first time ever. I didn't care about this girl anymore, I don't care about saving anyone. I don't care about what's going to happen in the future, this is my one chance to escape this eternal depression and suffering, and I'm taking it. Something about this felt wrong though, it just didn't feel real.
I started walking away, I didn't want to hear anymore.
The girl: This is the only chance I was able to give you, please use it wisely. The next time I have to save you, the consequences will be dire.
My naivety could have cared less, now it was my time, to create my own life of happiness. I felt hope again, that maybe I could finally reach the solstice I've been searching for.
Even though that's what I was thinking, a unthinkable sensation that almost felt like I was in a dream kept building up inside of me. My mind at the time was too dead set on peace that It didn't even phase me though. So instead of realizing what that sensation was, I chose to walk forward and ignore the feeling.