"Really? Oh yeah. I miss her too. Can't wait to see you two!" He exclaimed happily, holding the phone in his hands tightly as if it were going to be snatched away from him at any second. "I really miss you guys, you know."
"Okay... goodbye. I'm really looking forward to seeing you. Yeah... bye." Ethan hung up and put the phone back in the booth present in the telephone hall located inside the prisoners' yard. He got out, smiling as wide as his face could accommodate the wide gesture of happiness. He breathed in the cold winter air in awe, feeling glad that his parents were coming to visit. He wished that Ingrid would be coming too but beggars could not be choosers. He was really looking forward to the day. He raked his eyes back inside and saw some prisoners still in the booths, talking to their loved ones and whatnots before the calling hours were over. Snow was falling on the yard outside and the men there helped themselves to just sit down and talk, and smoke. Winter was never going to give away its crown, not that soon.
He walked over to a bench, hands pocketed in his trousers with his hoodie swaying against the wind. The serene was hazy and foggy, clearly blocking any sunlight that was attempting to make its way down here on Earth. He saw a group of men playing basketball by one court, clearly not feeling the impact of the cold whatsoever. The ball was shot to the ring but bounced on it, missing the target terribly and it landed a few meters from him. He looked at the older men already waiting for the ball. He grabbed it from the ground, threw it back at them, and then walked away silently as he tried to avoid further interaction with them. He climbed to the third row of the bleachers and sat on the woodwork and grazed his eyes at the cold yard. The watchtowers were heavily guarded and the main gate couldn't be spotted from this far.
"Ouch!" He shrieked in pain when the ball knocked his head from the back. He grunted and turned around to find an older white guy looking at him strangely, with his smirk stretching from ear to ear.
"Pass the ball, kid! What you waiting for!" The man yelled at him. Ethan looked at him longingly and took a turn to look at the ball which was far from his reach, hidden below the bleachers.
"No." He told him, grinning. "If you want it, come get it yourself. I like the heat here and I'm not leaving this spot. Sorry." He then turned back and stared at the other side of the fence. Some new inmates had just arrived.
"What!" Another man roared. He was older. "You little piece of shit got the nerves to talk to him like that, huh?" Ethan ignored in a bid to pull away from the calling trouble. "Yo, I'm talking to you!"
Ethan stood up and walked down the bleachers, heart in disagreement. He went under them, took the ball, and threw back at the guys. "There's your ball!" He said. "Now leave me alone!" He then got back to the same spot and sat again.
"Huh, this little piece of prick can think that he can talk to us the way he wants." The first man, blonde of hair spoke. He spat. "Let's teach this pussy a lesson boys!"
Five men who were playing on the court headed towards him, some hands turned into fists. The first man spat again and cocked his head. Ethan stood up immediately after he noticed the men approaching. And right there, he knew he fucked up. They marched forward so fast while he remained frozen in place like ice.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." A little man in their comparison raced over to them, and stopped the first man in his tracks. Freaking Derreiro! "You guys cool down, cool down. The kid's probably hit his head on something. He's all too cheesy. Come on, Trent let this one go!" Derreiro told them, hands pressed against the guy.
They stopped immediately and exchanged looks with Ethan, and then back at Derreiro. "Teach that friend of yours the rules of this place," Trent, the man who led the others spoke up, "or we will!"
"It's okay guys... Don't worry papichos. I'll get him to think straight." Derreiro vouched for Ethan affording a smile at the lot. The latter walked away as Derreiro went over to Ethan and sat beside him by the third row. "What's wrong with you papi?" He asked.
"I'm not the problem, they are the ones who are the problem." He whined like a little kid.
"Bro, how many times will I have to save your ass every time you land yourself in some trouble?"
"But you saw it yourself. I was minding my own business when they started their threats. I'm so sick and tired of this place!"
"You haven't even finished a month." Derreiro face palmed himself. "If you are not careful with your empty threats you might leave this place like your brother."
Ethan grunted, "Careful now. I didn't tell you that story so that you could make fun of me." His voice was coarse.
Derreiro shrugged. "I'm sorry. But it's the truth Ethan. You need to start taking care of yourself and start following the rules! If you don't, what was supposed to happen a few minutes ago will happen, because I've seen it happen multiple times."
"Rules! Rules! Freaking rules! Follow these rules, don't do that, do this!" Ethan growled. "How many times will I have to simply follow these fucking rules... man I'm tired!"
Derreiro was shocked by Ethan's last statement. He had never heard him curse before. "Bro, just in case you want me to remind you, it's for fifteen years!" He sarcastically answered.
"So, is that supposed to help?" Ethan's eyebrows furrowed again.
"I'm just preparing you for the tough life ahead brother. I'm going away soon. Who will stand here and be on your watch? Who will take care of you?"
"I can take care of myself," Ethan growled rudely.
"Papi look around. People are in groups here." Ethan scoured his eyes at the yard. It wasn't a lie. "That's how we survive here. Together. Not alone, but together. In the winter, the lone wolf dies?" He asked Ethan and waited for his response.
"What?" Ethan shrugged.
"You mean you haven't watched G.O.T? What the hell were you doing with your college years?" Derreiro blurted out. "In the winter, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives!" He finally answered himself. "People here can't do this on their own, so they seek comfort and help from each other. Seek more friends, and you'll see how life will be better."
"Okay... great!" Ethan answered. "I saw some new inmates by that building. I'll make one friend for myself from them."
Derreiro chuckled. He laughed later on.
"What's funny?" Ethan asked.
"You know how the first chick of a chicken hatchling gets out of the nest and tries to protect the unhatched eggs as their mother is away from a hungry cobra? That's what you're trying to be."
"But hey... it's a start." Ethan shrieked. "It's better than nothing, right?"
"I guess we can settle for that." Derreiro finished. "So, who were you talking to over the phone?"
"Oh, it was my mom and dad. They are coming to visit me tomorrow."
"For your birthday?" He asked.
"Yes..."
"What about your sister?"
"No, she won't be coming."
"Better you bro. Better you. My family stopped visiting me in my first year here. I haven't seen or heard from my brother and mother in four years! I don't know what they look like now." Derreiro answered. He turned to Ethan, "Be glad kid. The first years, they come. After that, the visits stop becoming frequent as before."
"My parents are not like that. They wouldn't stop visiting me." Ethan muttered. "I'm their only son and they won't let me rot in here all alone."
"That's what I used to tell myself. I was my mother's favorite son. But when I was caught stealing medicine from a pharmacy for my brother's pregnant wife, that all changed in a second. Like this." He snapped his fingers. "Now, I can't wait to see that ungrateful wretch I called brother."
"Here you are complaining about your brother, and yet I'm longing for mine. I wonder how our lives would be different if he were around."
"Zayn really did bad when he took him away from you at that tender age. Sorry mate."
"How I can't wait to see that ungrateful wretch my brother called a friend..." Ethan muttered.
"You'll get your time with Zayn. Don't worry, it's coming." Ethan just smiled on, nodding. "So, how about that girl Elena...?" Derreiro asked. "Are you free to talk about her now?"
"Derreiro, how many times will I tell you to leave that girl alone? The r*pe was all you needed to hear. I raped a girl I loved so dearly and I'm here because of that. The equation is balanced. Leave everything as it is."
Derreiro shrugged, "The more you keep pushing her away from your life, the more she'll just keep coming back."
"I'm trying really hard to forget her Derreiro. It's your endless questions about her that bring her memories back."
"You are much of a sleeper Ethan. I hear about her in your sleep. The way you tell her you're sorry for everything. There's a conflict going on inside your heart and inside your mind. Allow yourself to accept the reality."
Ethan chuckled. "And what reality is this you're talking about?"
"That she is really out there somewhere, living her life without you. And you can't imagine that things are the way they are without her. The sun still rises and sets, without her close to you. You wake up and go to sleep without talking or seeing her. And you can't accept this so you tell yourself that she is not real perhaps and none of this is happening, this reality isn't real."
Ethan scoffed and muttered angrily. "You don't know anything about me and her."
"I know you love her very much," Derreiro said.
"That's enough Derreiro. Can't you just let her be? Please!"
"I can... but can you?"
"Oh fuck you, Derreiro!" Ethan grunted, got up from the spot, and walked down the bleachers to the snow invaded grass below. He turned back and looked at Derreiro who was still seated. "Don't ever bring her up again." And with that, Ethan walked away and headed to his cell in Cell Block B.