Growing up as a child I always was on a skinny side, petite girl, really active and restless. when I was around 14-15 years old I gained weight. after that, I decided to starve myself. I started starving myself...I became obsessed with calories, about food, about exercising, about becoming skin and bones. I started counting calories obsessively. I still have my old diary. My whole day was about food, losing weight, and calories. I didn't have any more interests. I did not go outside, I was too afraid that friends I meet would want to go to eat, my hair, skin, and nails condition became horrible, I haven't got my period for a few months. At my lowest I was 37kg. I became sick. I felt odd, experienced anxiety, and took unnecessarily huge breaths. (Even as I type this, I am taking large breaths. I sometimes feel as though the air I breathe in doesn't meet my lungs.) I was taken to the doctor, but that of course did me no good. My body was not sick, I had a sickness of the mind. I was super underweight. my BMI was low. everyone was telling me "You need to eat more." "You're way too skinny." "That's all you're eating?" "I need to go on your diet." To which you might be thinking, "hmmm...what diet would that be?" "You are like skeleton'' and other words..The eating disorder was a horrible experience for me. eating disorders is not easy and it's not a way of life. I would never wish this on my worst enemy.