*Cough!*
An old man was coughing hoarsely on the streets. When he looked at his bony hand, which was used to cover his mouth, he saw red drops of blood splattered on it.
The old man looked tired and fragile. He had a young man beside him, but that man acted as if he saw nothing. A considerable part of the young man's face was disfigured.
"Grandpa, let's try the Hong Ciao Hospital. It is our last hope, and no one else seems to know what your illness is." The young man said in a tone laced with worry and hate. If it wasn't for his disfigured face, he might have gained pity from the people around him.
The young man was called Xuan Li. He was an eighteen-year-old. What stood out the most was his face, which was scrunched up, his nose was slightly crooked, and his eyes were uneven; the left eye was lower than right. Blue-green veins popped out on the left side of his face, standing out on his ghost-like complexion. His life was utterly miserable, his only support being his Grandpa, who had adopted him.
Xuan Li pretended that his Grandpa was fine, to act strong, and fool himself into believing that he wasn't dying. But, deep down, he knew that the old man's life was coming to an end, and once it did, Xuan Li would suffer.
"Damn those doctors! They could've helped you, but because we're poor, they won't!" Xuan Li said through gritted teeth. His emotions were taking over him as he thought of the old man's plight.
"They say that doctors exist to help. But, they are just money-hungry fools that never truly help those in need!" He looked at the silent old man with pity filled eyes.
'If only I had money. I should have focused more on medicine; that way, I could've at least found ways to save Grandpa.' Xuan Li thought, remembering how his grandfather's cancer had been spreading. Although the old man had tried to hide it, he was still able to find documents of the test results showing his state.
***
*Beep*
*Beep*
*Beep*
The old man lay motionless.
*Beeeeeep*
"NO! LET ME GO!! Grandpa!?!? Grandpa STAY WITH ME!!" A black-haired young man yelled as he stared at the bed of a hospital room. The old man's eyes were closed peacefully while doctors were rushing inside the room.
"Young man, I am sorry. He didn't have much time left anyway. He would have suffered more if he had stayed alive." The nurse that was holding him back mumbled.
He looked at the ugly young man in front of him and thought, 'Please leave, I don't want to look at you anymore.'
After a while of struggling, the young man fell to the ground. Tears streamed down his face making his features look even more disgusting than usual.
"Time of death. 10:27 AM." He heard the doctor announce, before writing something on a paper and then left.
The young man's legs gave away. His body went slack as if he had lost all hope, his misty eyes looking dull. Occasionally, a tear or two would drop down his face while he held the old man's hand. The silence was deafening.
He stayed in that position for nearly three hours before getting up. His eyes were lifeless, and he walked in an almost unconscious state.
However, as he was making his way to the exit, there were unpleasant whispers and comments made by the patients and doctors around him. Luckily, he was able to exit the hospital without hitting anyone.
He continued to walk for an hour without stopping. His destination was unknown to even him; he just kept walking.
'Why is the world so cruel?' Xuan Li thought while walking. He started lamenting and began to have dark thoughts.
He remembered the time when he used to live in an orphanage. The kids would throw rocks at him while laughing, eyes filled with disgust. It was also because of his figure that his parents abandoned him and dumped him in an orphanage.
By chance, the old man saw him getting bullied by kids in a park and saved him. That moment made his life change. The old man adopted him after getting to know his situation. He took care of him and loved him with everything he had. He was his only family.
To Xuan Li, the old man was the grandfather he never knew. He had never gained the chance to see his real grandparents since he'd been abandoned at a young age.
His Grandpa even taught him and helped him get into school, Xuan Li was also able to find a girlfriend at the time. Although she was older than him by five years, he didn't care as he loved her nonetheless.
Her name was Rachel, and other than his Grandpa, she was the only one who cared about him. At least that's what he thought until he found out that she was just dating him for a bet that she had lost.
His 'girlfriend' turned out to be a sister of one of his main bullies and when Xuan Li learned of this, he didn't come to school for a month. All this time, his bullies were probably laughing at him for being a fool into thinking he can get a girl genuinely. He did confront her, but she just laughed at him and called him an idiot. It took a lot of convincing and time from the old man to recover Xuan Li's courage.
Xuan Li couldn't help but bite his lower lip, recollecting his horrible childhood and shitty life. He knew just how great and amazing his Grandpa was. His Grandpa never once treated him like shit or insulted his appearance once.
Sadly, he'd already entered a depressed state and started hating his very existence. The only one that stopped him from doing something he wouldn't regret was his Grandpa. He didn't want to leave the only person who treated him like a human, alone.
But, the world is cruel and took his Grandpa from him. Nothing bound him to this world anymore. By the time he finished remembering his life, he was near a bridge where a famous river flowed.
Xuan Li looked at the flowing water body before him. Specifically, at his reflection. He gazed at his disfigured face, which was the very reason for all of his sufferings.
He touched his face with his fingers and wondered if everything would have been better if he was born normal.
Would his parents have not abandoned him while he was just a baby? Would those other kids have not run away at the very first sight of him? Would he have been able to experience real love?
However, he quickly threw those thoughts away. He wouldn't want a mother and a father who would abandon their own child just because of the way he looked!
Xuan Li could still picture the scene when those kids threw rocks at him and left him bleeding on the ground, heartlessly. He would rather have his ugly appearance than being friends with those fakes.
Xuan Li felt lost. His mind was a mess, his thoughts suffocated him.
After a few long minutes of staring at the water that reflected the moonlight, Xuan Li took a deep breath and moved forward.
As he slowly took the steps forward, he looked up from the flowing river and gazed into the distant lights that shone all around the town.
It wasn't something that he was just doing on impulse. Only after thinking everything carefully had he decided to take this step.
He didn't know if there was an afterlife where he could meet his Grandpa, but this life had no meaning anymore.
Just like that, Xuan Li took the final step and jumped down from the edge. As he fell into the water, he felt no remorse. His entire being was at peace, mind tranquil.
Unlike what others would have thought, after taking the last step, Xuan Li only felt calm. It was almost as if he was relieved to be ending his own life. He had seen enough of the hypocrisy and dark sides of humans.
'So... meaningless…' These were the last thoughts that lingered in his mind while sinking deep inside the waters.
He soon ran out of the oxygen and started convulsing before he lost his consciousness.