In a couple of hours it'll be new years for me.
The act of experiencing the change of a year makes me feel excited yet fearful. It makes me feel afraid, feeling as if an unavoidable apocalypse will fall on us. Apocalypse not brought by god, but by humans themselves.
I know my fear is ridiculous but I also know it's not baseless. And this makes this feeling worse. Not knowing when end will come...
I would say I'm not afraid of death, but I'm afraid not knowing the reason behind my death.
The change of a year makes me realize how I have aged and how I have changed. It's... undescribable, but it gives me the sense of dread. It gives me hope and a sense of awe. It makes me wonder...