I am told that the pain of losing you will pass.
People keep telling me that.
But time is running out, and it is still there, palpable.
My heart sinks at the mention of your name.
My tears roll when I think of you.
Every object reminds me of your absence.
If one day the pain passes, your memory will remain.
I will remember our good days and bad days.
I won't cry for you anymore, but I'll never forget you.
Naoto watched the entire exchange; his father's sword was now enveloped in the flag of the country he served. He saw his mother place a hand over her eyes as she tried to control her tears.
"We now pay a tribute to Commander Shoujo Daiki. He died with his pride and loyalty intact and..." the second in command continued to ramble.
His aunt. She didn't bother to try and hide her own tears. For once her composed face giving into her emotions. He saw Obasan standing there crying as well. Her lips moved in silent prayer.
Only Danzo seemed to be confused; Naoto had heard him say to himself earlier "The captain can't really be dead...right?" The rest of the Soldier troupes had a look of disbelief on their faces.
He stood there staring blankly at the coffin where his father laid, ignoring everyone that tried to console him.
"Now people can come up to the coffin and say their private goodbyes. You can come alone or with someone else. Your choice." the second in command finally concluded.
It was a unanimous decision to let his wife go first. She walked slowly to the coffin as if she walked any faster she would collapse.
The second in command and his subordinates left the lead where the coffin laid to give the people some privacy and everyone else walked a few feet away.
"Dear." Mitsu began before stopping. Her voice began to shake again. "I don't really know what to say really." she whispered."This is a joke right?" she asked finally looking up at the coffin. "I mean any minute you're going to come out of there and laugh at all of us right?"
Naoto put a hand on her shoulder confidently with his head held high and not a tear or any sadness visible on his face. In fact he looked kind of angry. His mother looked on as her son was in front of the casket. All of a sudden he screamed and started to beat it with his hands.
"You Idiot! Why did you have to die like this!" he screamed while banging on the casket. The poundings got lighter and lighter however with each one as he finally fell to his knees in tears, though his fist kept banging on the wood weakly. "Why would you go before watching me take your lead?" he whispered, tears falling onto the ground.
He stayed there for a while until his mother took him in her arms.
One by one his loved ones said their goodbyes; some of them placed a rose on the casket and others personal belongings.
The only person that didn't come up and do anything was a stranger in black cloak. He just stood in the back, his worn out blue scarf dancing in the wind. He didn't approach the casket or even take a simple step forward. He didn't move a muscle or look up as they finally lifted the casket and laid it gently into the already dug grave and began to fill it up. The area was filled with sobs and screams as each clump of dirt filled the hole. Each cry rose up into the air as one, until they were undistinguishable, until the hole was completely filled and the ceremony was over.
Naoto let go of his mother who left with the troupes.
Soon, everybody left apart from the stranger who walked slowly to the young man.
In silence they stood side by side. Naoto looked at him from the corner of his eye; he was slightly taller than him until he crouched down examining the words on the stone.
Commander Shoujo Daiki
18th December 1817- 3rd April 1868
'Never forget your samurai honor'
Naoto watched the stranger staring at the stone with emotionless eyes.
The sun shone brightly against the cloudless sky as he got up then said "Goodnight." after casting one last look over his shoulders at the grave, he left.
Naoto hasn't slept that night.
Tomorrow was the day they officially assign another commander, a replacement for his father. They were at war and they did not have a second to waste. The troupes were troubled by this sudden death; they needed a strong leader to take away that fear and pull together every fragment of courage they had left.
The second in command Danzo-san, Fuji-hara and other soldiers were all gathered in the tent next to his, deciding the fate of their region; on whom to put in high command. He could hear their muffled voices, but couldn't make out what they were saying and he could not stand another second not knowing what they were talking about.
He dragged his feet in the middle of the night knowing that there would be guards at the entrance of the tent but he didn't care, all he cared about was to find out who they chose in his father's behalf.
"Naoto-kun?" His mother called after him, she seemed to be waiting as well. "Where are you heading?"
Naoto sighed "I can't sleep, I have to talk to the second in command-" he turned to leave but his mother caught his arm.
"Wait! You know you can't go in there." She said.
"But-" Naoto began to protest. "I need to know whose replacing father. I need to know that it won't be just a wealthy lord's son or an imposter leading us to our doom!"
His mother bit on her lip "Naoto- kun..." letting go of his arm. "He's no imposter..."
"You know?" Naoto asked and she nodded. "Tell me mother. I beg you!"
"It was your father's will." Was all she told him.
"Who is it?" he insisted. "Tell me!"
"I will," Mitsu considered. "but first, I need to show you something."