I have died a fact that I myself find incomprehensible and almost silly, but still a truth non the less that I will have to inevitably accept as reality, which brings me to the next point how am I speaking to and possibly writing this journal to some fictional people, Idon't believe exist, well that my friends is a tricky story to tell so be ready for the truths I have tried and failed to deny.
To do this we need to start with how my esteemed and amazing self passed, and let me tell you it was not pretty.
I was walking in my home a small flat in London with a few other residents next door, a small old lady (who I will get to later), Jason (good guy), mason and his wife Jessica (annoying) and finally Sierra (lovely and cute). I had a good relation with two of the above and was abit lacking with my relationship with the other three, so I was walking in my flat to the toilet and I decided to watch some television for a while after I had relieved myself obviously, and it was talking about a killer who had disappeared years ago, like before I was a teen and I couldn't help but find the representative drawing rather familiar, then it hit me, no seriously I was hit and ther was the familiar face from tv, the little old lady, what a bitch, didn't even see the weather. And that is how I died fun right, and she did things to my body after which is why i said not pretty, totally not trying to explain a mistake in my writing so shut up imaginary people in my head, and see you in hell. Bye for now.
And I am back people not long I know but its hard to tell time here all that I see is red and little people with forks stabbing me and others again and again, getting a tiny bit bored to be honest, silly small people.
I have officially been sent deeper now yay, how do I know you ask because I was thrown in a pit so yeah, now my little people have been replaced with, female things with horns and a tail and let me tell you they can use every part including the tail, pitty they broke after I started hitting them. Well anyway next level.
And here I am 3rd layer yay, here are alot of animals and they are eating the souls piece by piece, too bad I don't like hell hounds or they could have helped keep my sanity down here. "come here doggy" yep that did not work well guess its on to plan B "die hell spawn" and started biting them back so yeah the are now whimpering in a corner, job done.
Well that proved to be a rather amusing distraction' now onto the 4th layer, which I was again thrown into guess what… well a hole of course, really struggling to understand why there is no other ways down like I know it's hell and all but still, no slides.
Well back to the layer, this time there is a door that will never open with gold behind, now some may wonder, "oh great and wise one how do you know", well that's easy their is a sign!
I'll be honest not really feeling this level so down I go. Oh, and before I forget some lil dudes tried to stop me so I curb stomped one on the door, which by the way is how I learned that it will not open, fun right. Anyway back to the story, curb stomp done and a slightly bigger thing comes along and does something outrageous, he hit this great sir, and took me one layer deeper so yay team.
Now layer 5 was a little different let me tell you, like I know it's hell and all but on one side men doing men on the other women doing men, on another, woman doing woman and finally both for those that could not decide which side they belonged to, and no I mean that literally, like seriously I get men doing straight guys and women doing gay guys, but really, both! Lucky…
Oh and me devil is back again yay team. ( I'm gonna put a stick up his ass and feed him it) he took me down again so quickly, BORING.
Now layer 6 just hurt, seeing people killing my family over and over, I wanted to do that how dare they, well anyway almost at the bottom, chuchu come on.
Floor or layer 7 was tricky I had to find a flaw with myself, almost impossible I tell you and whoever thought this up better be ready for one hell of a session, oh I said hell. Well time to skip to lucky 8, see you then.