Chereads / I found you in hell / Chapter 21 - Chapter 16 “Two parts of one whole”

Chapter 21 - Chapter 16 “Two parts of one whole”

Inside Jungsuk flinched, when the door closed behind him with a heavy thud. He started to move forward but froze in place at what he saw. From the outside, it looked like an exact replica of his and Jonghyong's house, but from the inside, it was different. The walls were dirty, dark, and battered, with black spots in places, that seemed to be from the ingrained dampness, the ceilings were like a web of cobwebs with many cracks intertwining, a thick layer of dust had accumulated in all corners, furniture, and decorative items were broken in places, beams and wooden splinters covered the entire surface of the floor here and there, not allowing to step a step, the gloomy and sinister atmosphere of this place was terrifying, the cold penetrated through, rot and the mustiness clogged his nostrils, down his throat, making a sickening lump break out. Jungsuk covered his mouth and nose with his hand, wanting to breathe in some of the life-saving oxygen, but he was afraid to take another deep breath, lest he literally gets poisoned by the stench of the place. Jungsuk wished he could close his eyes so, that he wouldn't go blind in the pitch-black darkness. Jungsuk would like to get away from here and never think about what happened to him again. But he couldn't. His soul, torn in two, desperate to be reunited with what it had lost, was rushing forward, and Park moved a few steps, suddenly noticing a piece of light, that had come from nowhere. He skirted the chaos, that unfolded in the form of a fallen sofa or a broken chair, skirted the broken dishes, brushed off the whitewash, that fell on top of him, but walked confidently forward. His heart was pounding in his chest as if he was about to plunge into the abyss. His skin was sweating and his hair was standing on end, but Jungsuk kept walking.

After walking through the house, and then stepping over the threshold of the once-living room, Jungsuk saw a pile of torn and sometimes dirty blankets. Pencils, small pieces of paper with some sketches, brushes were scattered everywhere, and the floor was decorated with streaks of dark colors. A small sliver of light streamed from a half-open window, just like the rest of the room, dirty and stained, revealing a firmly mounted easel right in the center of the room. A young man standing nearby was busily and intently drawing line after line on the surface of the canvas, but the image was gray and nondescript, like everything else here. Jungsuk turned his attention to the artist, devouring him with his eyes. The man was hunched over, his head almost sunk into his drooping shoulders, his arms hanging like whips at his sides, as he looked up from his task to study the result. His black, almost coal-black hair fell in long, greasy strands over his ears and neck. Even from a distance, Jungsuk could see, how pale and gray the man's skin was. The veins stood out so clearly on the bony limbs, that they made it almost bluish. The artist's clothes were not much different from the color of the local place, the same worn, gray and dirty. Jungsuk almost choked on his breath with fear, as the young man abruptly threw the pencil aside with a loud and furious cry, pushing the easel away from him as well, but it remained firmly in place, not even moving. When the artist turned to face Park, burning with anger, it was as if a long, sharp dagger had been thrust into his heart, piercing through him, grazing the edge of his ribs.

Jonghyong.

The name of the beloved husband almost left Jungsuk's mouth, but he immediately caught himself, when he saw, how the expression on the face opposite changed from angry and intimidating to frightened.

Jonghyong stiffened when he saw a stranger in his house. Also... a man. He immediately wrapped his arms around himself, as if in a gesture of protection, and ran around the room with frightened eyes, trying to figure out where he could escape if necessary. But the thing was, he couldn't get very far. Jonghyong tried. He struggled to overcome the sense of loss, that had been eating at him from the inside for... he couldn't even remember how long. He tried to get out of the house, wanted to get as far away as possible from the place that, as he had already realized, brought him only pain and suffering. But every time, something pulled him back. A part of him seemed to want to stay here, in this old, dilapidated house, next to the portrait of his dead husband. Jonghyong couldn't help but admit defeat every time he came to his doorstep. All his neighbors had long since moved out of the area, leaving only him and his painting, which he had never had the heart to finish. As if he did that, Jungsuk would disappear from his memory forever, leave his heart, leave him. And Jonghyong can't survive that. He didn't know, how he had survived the death of his beloved. He still didn't understand, why he didn't slit his wrists or throw himself off a bridge on his bike, and still wake up every day and walk like a shadow through the rooms of the old silent house. But if he also loses the memories, that he has so carefully kept for a long time, then… what will he have left?

That's why Jonghyong was so scared when he saw a strange man in his house. Jonghyong clearly remembered, how he locked the door behind him the last time when he tried to leave the house and still came back. Then how the hell did this guy get here? What the fuck does he want? Why is he staring at Jonghyong like that? And anyway, what the hell is going on here?!

The fear gradually receded, making room for a surging, raging wave of rage that burned, running like lava through his veins, causing them to inflate and pulse, sending sparks of adrenaline in the form of small but bright impulses all over his guts, and his eyes to burn with fire. Jonghyong dropped his hands to his sides, clenching his fists so tightly, that the nail holes were embedded in the inside of his palms, and scowled at the intruder from under his brows.

"Who are you and what the hell are you doing here?"

Jungsuk blinked, unable to find an answer. Just now, Jonghyong felt a twinge of fear. But a second later, a powerful torrent of anger erupted from the seemingly fragile body. Jonghyong literally resonated with it, causing the walls of the house to rattle, cracked glass to fall to the floor from the window frames, tons of whitewash to fly around the room, making the nose tickle, and the floor was ready to go out from under their feet. The house seemed to be reacting to Jonghyong's behavior, and it didn't seem to surprise the young man at all.

Jonghyong looked, quite simply, terrible. Deep black circles under the eyes, a red network of blood vessels spread over the entire surface of the iris, sunken cheeks, haggard cheekbones, almost white lips, only a thin strip of pink color inside, hiding a row of even teeth, a long greasy fringe that fell over the eyebrows, making the current menacing look even more frightening. Jonghyong seemed to have grown shorter, so thin and frail, was he. But even that wasn't what hit Jungsuk's bleeding heart the most with sharp, never-ending pain. He realized with horror, that Jonghyong... wouldn't recognize him. The Reaper was right. His husband did not recognize him, but stared angrily into his eyes, wrapping himself in a cocoon of pain and suffering. Jungsuk was ready to throw himself on his knees in front of him and shout about who he was, about how he had come to take Jonghyong away from this terrible place, about how much he missed him, how much he was tormented by separation, about how much he loved him. But in the state Jonghyong was in right now, Park wouldn't be able to go anywhere near him. Therefore, he had no other choice but to…

"Hi. I'm sorry, your door was open. I was passing by and decided to see if everything was all right. I didn't mean to scare you."

... lie. Jungsuk put all the self-control he had prided himself on in life into his answer, so as not to betray himself with just a squeak of fear and despair voice.

Jonghyong blinked once, then twice, trying to sense the threat, the mockery, the lie, anything, that would make him throw this man out of his house. But he felt nothing but calm and a little uneasy. This man didn't carry a grudge. On the contrary, he gave off a strange aura of peace, that Jonghyong hadn't felt in a very, very long time. Only next to Jungsuk. And now it was strange and wrong. Very wrong.

Jonghyong sighed and ran a shaking hand through his dirty hair, "I'm sorry. I don't like strangers. And I don't remember not locking the door after I got home."

Jonghyong's voice was still dry and wary in places, but Jungsuk let out a breath as the shaking in the house stopped, leaving only clouds of smoke behind. Park pulled himself together and risked taking a step towards Jonghyong as naturally as possible. But the young man quickly caught the movement of other's feet and frowned again, as if waiting for a trick. Jungsuk changed direction, pretending to look around the living room.

"My name is..." Jungsuk hesitated, realizing, that he couldn't give his real name. "Taeyang. And you?" Jungsuk looked at Jonghyong expectantly. He wrapped his arms around himself again, standing next to the easel, covering it with his back, as if protecting it or hiding it from prying eyes.

"Jonghyong. My name is Jonghyong."

"Hello, Jonghyong."

Jonghyong just nodded.

"What were you doing here..." Jonghyong hesitated, studying the stranger carefully. He didn't look much older, than Jonghyong himself, and he was also Korean. It was rare to meet a fellow tribesman here. Jonghyong didn't know, how to address the young man, but he beat him to it.

"Since we've already met, you can call me Hyong. I'm definitely older than you," Jungsuk risked a wink, carefully following Jonghyong's reaction.

"What makes you think that? Did you see yourself in the mirror?" Jonghyong looked at the strange stranger. His appearance didn't suit the place at all. Dressed in seemingly ordinary everyday clothes, this guy literally radiated... light. His whole image glowed and shimmered like a fucking Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. The earrings in his ears swayed, when he involuntarily turned his head, his dark blue hair seemed too bright, his fair, clear skin too healthy, and the sparkle in his eyes was like a magnet. There was a strange twofold feeling inside Jonghyong. On the one hand, he wanted to go over and take a closer look at the young man, to see if he was real at all, or some hallucination thrown up by a disjointed brain. On the other hand, Jonghyong was itching to give this guy a good kicking, throwing him out the door, so that he would no longer dare to poke his nose into other people's houses without an invitation. A sense of deja vu surged through him, making his heart beat faster. Jonghyong shook his head, banishing the terrible thoughts. He could not, dared not, allow them into his aching head. No other man but his husband had ever dared to approach him under any circumstances. And this weirdo, seemingly just off the cover of a fashion magazine, will be no exception.

Jungsuk just shrugged casually at the man's question, "I just know. Your features are soft. I don't think you're older than me."

Jonghyong only snorted at these words, but somewhere very deep inside his soul was warmed by the unobtrusive complement of this... Hyong.

"In answer to your question, I was passing by when I saw the open door in your house. Actually, I'd like to talk to someone, who lives here, to see if anyone is renting out the houses. I want to move," the words came out in a crazy stream of lies, that Jungsuk was literally making up on the fly. He'd given himself a hundred mental slaps, but at the moment, he couldn't say otherwise. Or Jonghyong would just throw him out the door.

"You're weird," Jonghyong looked at Hyong carefully, squinting again, looking for a trick.

"Why?" Jungsuk was naturally surprised, scoring himself another point for being theatrical.

"Everyone wants to get out of the area. I do not know for what reason, but since recently there is no gas, no water, no electricity. It's terribly cold and damp. It's always dark. The internet and TV do not work. People are fleeing like rats from a sinking ship. And you want to rent a house here?" Jonghyong was surprised at his own garrulity. He had never spoken so much to strangers lately, or in all his life. But now... he was so depressed and angry, didn't communicate with anyone, didn't see anyone except the portrait of his husband, who was so diligently painting, that at the first opportunity it burst like a dam, that wasn't quite firmly fixed. He even covered his mouth with his hand, startled.

Jungsuk ignored Jonghyong's fiery speech. A real struggle was unfolding inside him. He could hardly control himself, keeping a mask of friendliness and restraint, when in reality he wanted to rush to Jonghyong at the speed of light, hug and hold him, kiss him on the dim eyes, the now sharp nose, the sunken cheeks, feel his essence, make him remember. Remember Jungsuk.

Park walked around the broken table and cautiously approached the easel, which Jonghyong had opened for some reason, apparently lost in his tirade.

"Very beautiful. Are you an artist?" he asked gently, nodding toward his portrait. Tears threatened to burst from his eyes, and his heart was in a vise, when Jungsuk saw, how warmly and lovingly Jonghyong looked at the canvas with his image. Why, why doesn't he recognize Park, when the face in the painting and his own are the same?!

"You could say that," Jonghyong ran his finger along the lines on the canvas, and a shadow of sadness flashed in his eyes. "This is... my husband. He died not so long ago. Car accident."

Jonghyong continued to stare at the portrait as the tension built up around him, made up of pain, anger, resentment, and all the negative feelings, that could be put together. Jungsuk felt it, felt it with all his being, and there seemed to be nothing he could do about it.

"And before that, my parents and my little brother died in the same way," Jonghyong turned away from the easel, his hands clenched into fists again. "They're all dead. And they left me alone. They're all gone. And I stayed here. I can't even leave, because I just have nowhere to go!" Jonghyong kicked a beam hard with his foot. His anger was growing again, threatening to sweep away everything in its path, leaving nothing behind, not even the owner. The feeling was so devastating, so palpable, so alive, that it tore junior apart. Jonghyong was like a living time bomb, packed with negatives, that would shatter like shrapnel into every point of the world, if the vessel holding him cracked.

"Jonghyong," Jungsuk cautiously walked over to Jonghyong and put his hand on his shoulder, but Jonghyong took it off and immediately rubbed the place with his palm as if to get rid of the dirt. He glared angrily at Jungsuk with his almost black eyes and snapped.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry," Jungsuk took a step back and held up his hands to show, that he wasn't going to do anything. "You must have loved him very much," he said, nodding at his portrait and biting his lip. It hurt him to talk about himself, knowing, that Jonghyong was looking right at him and wouldn't recognize him, as if they'd never met at all.

Jonghyong closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes," he said firmly, "I lost a part of myself when I lost him. I don't have anything else left."

"But you can be with him!" Jungsuk almost leaned forward to touch Jonghyong again, but was taken aback and stayed where he was, his hands clenched into fists. "You can see him, feel him."

"That's a lie!" Jonghyong glared at Jungsuk. "He's dead, but I'm not! I'll never be able to see him again!"

"You can," Jungsuk tilted his head to the side, unconsciously smiling. "All you have to do is introduce him. Close your eyes and imagine…"

"I think it's time for you to leave," Jonghyong walked over to the portrait and closed his eyes, feeling extremely tired. The memory of his husband weighed heavily on him, tore at his broken heart, and rang in his ears like a thousand bells. And this guy, who came from nowhere, ranting about some nonsense, already quite tired of him. Jonghyong wanted to be alone. And why the hell didn't he throw the idiot out the minute he showed up on his doorstep? Why does he keep listening to it? Why was there a strange, familiar feeling stirring somewhere deep inside, that Jonghyong couldn't, and didn't want to understand?

"Yes, that's right," Jungsuk nodded in agreement, but he didn't move. "I've also lost someone very close to me, and it's killing me day after day. But we can, Jonghyong, we can see them. Your loved ones. It's worth closing your eyes and imagining it." Jungsuk didn't give a damn and walked over to Jonghyong, who was squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head so, that his long hair was swinging from side to side. "Just try it. Close your eyes and imagine what you want to see. Listen to your heart," Park gently put his hand on Jonghyong's chest and felt him tremble, tense, trying with all his strength to reject the touch of someone else, but for some reason he does nothing, just continues to stand still. "He's right here, Jonghyong. Your husband is right here," Jungsuk could feel the junior's heart beating hard in his chest, and his own echoed it like crazy.

Jonghyong didn't want to, didn't want to believe a single word of this strange man, but his heart was pounding so hard against his ribs, and tears were rolling out of his closed eyes. The young man felt the touch of a hand on his chest, and for some reason tried to follow the stranger's words. He concentrated and inhaled once, then twice, keeping his eyes closed.

A vague image began to form before his eyes: blue, perfectly coiffed hair, light, even skin, the natural color of brown eyes, the rays of which sparkle so brightly, that they can light up the path, full lips, that want to caress and kiss endlessly, a mischievous smile, that makes eyes look like small slits, soft cheeks, that ask to be squeezed. Jungsuk stood directly in front of Jonghyong, so close, that Jonghyong could feel the warmth of his body, smell him, touch his skin. Jonghyong's breath caught in his throat, when he realized, that this was indeed his husband, just as beautiful and strong, as he remembered him. Jonghyong licked his dry lips, feeling his entire body break out in a sweat and his legs go weak. It seemed that if he took an extra step towards Jungsuk, he would collapse to the ground.

"Jungsuk?" Jonghyong tentatively called out to his husband, at which he smiled wider and took a step towards him, carefully and even hesitantly embracing him. "Is that really you? But... you…"

"This is real, Jonghyong-a," Jungsuk touched the tip of Jonghyong's nose, and the junior gasped for breath.

"I miss you so much, Jungsuk-a. I don't know what to do without you. I love you so much. Don't go away. Don't leave me anymore."

"Jonghyong-a," Jungsuk traced the line of Jonghyong's chin with his index finger, and the junior burst into tears again. Wet tracks ran straight down his cheeks, hiding in the collar of his shabby clothes, settling somewhere below. Jonghyong wanted so badly to stay with Hyong, wanted him to never, ever disappear again. After all, who is he without Jungsuk? Just an empty and lifeless shell.

"You can, you can make it real. The face in your portrait," Park took a deep breath, feeling Jonghyong tense up immediately after the words he had spoken, "is mine," Jungsuk said, moving closer to Jonghyong's face, leaving only a few millimeters before their lips touched.

Jonghyong suddenly felt the cold seeping through him and the grip of others' hands on his body. Fear swirled around him, making it impossible to continue basking in his husband's arms. Something was wrong. Something is wrong. The young man's eyes snapped open, and he saw the face of a stranger, who had invaded his home without any invitation, and now he was trying to take away the only thing left – memories. The fear was quickly replaced by a fit of rage. Jonghyong's eyes turned red, which frankly startled his uninvited guest, who immediately loosened his grip on his hands.

"No!" Jonghyong pushed the alien away from him with force and began to step on him, and he backed away like a crayfish. "You're not him! I don't know who the fuck you are or what the hell you want, but you can't take him! Do you hear that?!"

"Jonghyong…"

Jonghyong didn't let a word escape from the mouth of this bloodthirsty snake, immediately raising his fist and slamming it hard into the perfect cheekbone. The stranger staggered back and clutched at the injured spot, but his eyes, full of pain, continued to stare at Jonghyong.

"Get out!" Jonghyong kicked at a beam, causing a cloud of dust, as he gesticulated vigorously. If this guy was going to keep bothering him, he wasn't going to stop at one punch.

As soon as the door closed behind the stranger, Jonghyong collapsed on the pile of blankets with a loud cry and burst into tears, which left dirty streaks on his equally dirty cheeks. Jonghyong should have been relieved, that this strange guy had left his house. But as soon as he was out of the door, a wave of agony and pain swept over the young man with a new force, even more fierce, than the one, that had followed him before the arrival of this man. Jonghyong felt like he had lost something. Forfeit something. He missed something. And it was strange. Strange and wrong.

"Well?" the Reaper didn't seem to move at all, remaining in the same position, when Jungsuk approached him.

"You were right. He doesn't remember me," Jungsuk's voice was hollow and lifeless, though his insides were shaking with pain and anger. Anger at himself.

"You did everything you could. You've been there a lot longer than you need to. You've already begun to feel, that…"

"Going crazy?" Jungsuk snapped furiously, still trying to piece together the pieces of his mind. "Oh, yes! I was almost a step away from it." for all his self-control and his desperate attempts to reason with Jonghyong, he could feel, how the madness coming at his heels. Jonghyong's anger and anger were too real, too material and dense. These feelings filled the whole house, permeated it, saturated it. It was impossible not to feel it. Such strong negative emotions will drive anyone crazy. And Park stood on the edge of the abyss, almost sharing the fate of oblivion with his husband. It was then that he made a decision for himself, that the Reaper might not like, and Junghyun altogether will kill him.

"We have to go. Your companion is waiting for you," the Reaper grabbed his staff and was about to move in the direction, which that he and Jungsuk had come from, but realized, that the man wasn't following him.

"I'm not going with you."

The Reaper arched an eyebrow, making his forehead even more furrowed, like the creases on the back of a sharpie.

"Do one last thing I want you to do," Jungsuk strode over to the Reaper and looked directly into his eyes, hidden behind his glasses, "tell Junghyun... Erik, that I can't leave his brother. And I'll stay with him. Tell…"

The Reaper held out a hand, interrupting the young man's speech, "That's enough. I am a guide, not a messenger."

Jungsuk nodded and took a few steps back, watching as the Reaper retreated, his black cloak hiding his figure in the darkness of the forest.

Returning to the house, closing the door firmly behind him, as if afraid, that someone might disturb them, Jungsuk walked firmly towards the room, where Jonghyong was. He may attack him again, beat him up, or throw him out. But Jungsuk didn't care. Not anymore. Once the madness overcomes him, he won't care. The main thing is that Jonghyong won't be wandering around here alone anymore. Even if they don't remember each other, don't recognize each other, they won't be alone anymore.

Jungsuk walked over to Jonghyong, who was sitting on a crumpled blanket, hugging his knees, rocking back and forth. Park sat down across from the younger man and covered his hands with his own. Jonghyong immediately took them away, wiping them on the surface of his clothes, as if he was soiled, but he didn't move.

"Soon I won't be able to recognize you any more than you will recognize me now, baby," the last word came out of his mouth, sounding so bitter. It felt like he hadn't said it in ages.

"We'll look at each other like strangers. We'll stay away from each other. We won't talk about it. But we will be together," Jungsuk made another attempt to touch his husband's hand, and this time Jonghyong did not take it away, only flinched at the touch. "We'll be together, as we always have been. I'll stay with you. And you will be with me. I don't care if it's heaven or hell, as long as I am with you and forever. I am ready to exchange light for darkness, colorful landscapes for eternal blackness, because I love you more than anything in the world, and I can never leave you. You are me. You're a part of me. And you always will be," Jungsuk could feel his consciousness slipping away from him. The image of Jonghyong before his eyes gradually faded, faded, dissolved, leaving only a gray nothingness. His head gradually emptied, his arms grew weak, and Jungsuk sank to the ground completely, so as not to lose his balance completely. Something was pulling him into the void. He struggled fiercely, but his strength was failing him. Jungsuk is so tired. He wanted to rest. Relax and forget, finally. Forget all the suffering, the pain, the screams of terror and fear, that he heard and saw. He wanted to be free.

Jonghyong's mind was being torn apart at this time. As soon as this man touched him, a flash of light shot through his eyes. Jonghyong was startled and pulled his hands back. Despite the presence of a stranger, his heart was beating feverishly, longing for something. Something, that Jonghyong couldn't quite grasp. He tried desperately to resist, but with each passing second, the realization was ringing in his head, and thousands of small sparks were exploding inside, igniting and burning as soon as a man's hands touched him. Memories flashed before his eyes at lightning speed, and in each of them, Jonghyong saw Jungsuk. Therefore, he did not take his hands away, when he felt a second touch, and only began to breathe feverishly, because he realized, that the other's palms increased emotions and only clarified the flow of images running before his eyes. Here's Jungsuk touching him in the kitchen at Muyong's house, pinning him against the wall in the club bathroom, sitting on the ground with him on his birthday, kissing him in the car, caressing him for their very first time, he talks about how strong, brave, and good Jonghyong is, how talented and mature he is, and how Hyong loves him. Jonghyong sees him and Jungsuk's wedding, sees, how hard and desperate Jungsuk is trying to get him out of the drug addiction, that junior fell into after the death of his parents, sees him near his hospital bed in a mental hospital. His entire life with Hyong flashes before his eyes, including his death and Jonghyong's own. The realization hits his head like a powerful sledgehammer, and Jonghyong's eyes snap open. He looks at the face of the person, who sitting across from him and understands. Jonghyong understands, where he is and what is happening. He understands, what it cost his beloved husband to get here. He understands, what he had to go through to get Jonghyong out again. He realizes, that Hyong hasn't abandoned him. He came for him. Again.

"Jungsuk?.." Jonghyong's voice is hoarse, with a hint of uncertainty in it, but the more he looks at others' faces and squeezes others' hands in his, the faster his heartbeats.

"Jungsuk?!" Jonghyong calls out to his husband again, when realizes, that he is looking past him without answering or reacting. Jonghyong can't give in to the fleeting joy of seeing Jungsuk in front of him. The living and real Jungsuk, for whom he had grieved for so long, shed so many tears, even killed himself, just not to be tormented by the death of a loved one. Jonghyong can't be happy, can't even hug his husband, because he's terrified of the wrongness of what's happening.

"Where am I?" Jungsuk looks around, letting go of Jonghyong's hands indifferently. His face is gray and lifeless, his brows are furrowed with incomprehension, and his eyes are almost black, like an abyss, into which he has almost completely sunk. "Cold." Park wraps his arms around himself, trying to keep warm, and freezes.

"Jungsuk?!" Jonghyong leaps up to stand next to Jungsuk and grabs his hands. Jungsuk is cold. Bitterly cold. He doesn't say anything else and doesn't respond to Jonghyong's call in any way. Panic hits the junior, when he realizes, that the same thing happened to Jungsuk, that happened to him. The senior managed to pull Jonghyong out of the captivity of his own consciousness, and he paid for it in full.

"Jungsuk, no! Please, god, no! No! Come back, come back to me! Please, don't leave me again!" Jonghyong shouts, pushes Jungsuk, squeezes the clothes on his shoulders with his fingers, even slaps his cheeks, but the senior doesn't react. Jonghyong is so terrified, that he can't breathe. Blackness envelops Jungsuk as if trying to drag him into oblivion. Every second Jonghyong feels as if another part of his husband's body is darkening, succumbing to this unknown force, that is gradually consuming him. Jonghyong staggered away from the man and got to his feet. He continued to watch what was happening and was shaking with fear. They were so close to being together again. And now Jungsuk is leaving him. Jonghyong loses him. And there's nothing he can do.

"The hell you'll get it!" Jonghyong suddenly shouts out with confidence and firmness, as if speaking to nothing. "He doesn't belong to you, do you hear?" Jonghyong grabs Jungsuk's armpits, literally pulling him out of the club of darkness, and pulls him as far away as possible. He takes his face in his hands and turns him to look into his eyes. The eyes are dark and empty now.

"Jungsuk, listen to me! I'm here with you. You went down to Hell itself to find me. So don't you dare leave me now!"

The darkness was moving towards the two men, swallowing everything in its path. As if it were alive, it crept closer and closer, and there was no hiding from it. Jonghyong knew, that there was no time to bring Jungsuk to his senses. Hopelessness robbed him of all hope. He was willing to die again and be here consciously, just to get Jungsuk out of this terrible place. He was so weak when he was alive. Jungsuk constantly pulled him out of the thick of his problems, helped, and supported him like no one else. Jonghyong was always grateful to him for this, trying his best to prove his love and loyalty to his husband. But that wasn't enough right now.

"No," Jonghyong stood in front of the darkness, covering Jungsuk with his broad back, putting into his voice, into his mind, into his body all the strength he could muster, all the love he felt for his husband, literally his life, that Jungsuk had given him. But the darkness continued to fall, though it seemed to slow down for a moment. Rage enveloped Jonghyong's mind. But it was a different kind of feeling. Conscious, strong, real, coming from the very depths of his soul, mixed with a desperate desire to protect. Jonghyong was determined to protect Jungsuk, even if he had to fall again himself.

"I said no!"

A loud, shrill voice echoed throughout the room, shaking the already fragile walls, kicking up dust, causing everything, that lacked sufficient stability to rumble and shatters. The remaining panes of glass flew out of their frames, shattering into hundreds of thousands of pieces, a shrill whoosh accompanying their fall. Deep, wide cracks spread across the ceiling. The echoes of the scream still echoed and bounced off the surfaces. Thunder rumbled outside the window, but even that couldn't drown out the madness. The house seemed about to sink into the ground. Jonghyong's eyes were black, smoke was almost pouring out of his nose, and his body was filled with heaviness and strength, that he hadn't felt in a very long time. Confidence and power literally permeated Jonghyong's entire soul, sparing nothing in his path. The darkness suddenly shrank, frozen in place completely, here and there light flashes exploded, devouring the black haze. Its high-pitched, screeching noise made want to cover ears with hands so wouldn't be deafened, but Jonghyong didn't move, a huge rock hanging over the immaterial entity, which writhed and shrank more and more.

"Go away. You won't get him," Jonghyong's menacing voice exploded in a final flash of thunder, and the darkness disappeared as if it had never existed. Jonghyong relaxed, and only now realized, how tense he was with every cell of his being. His head was pounding from the howling and the pressure, and his vision was blurred, but he still went back to Jungsuk and crouched down next to him, grabbing the man's hands again, trying to convey what little of his newfound strength was left. It was the last thing he could do to get his husband back.

At the same time, Jungsuk was floating in the vast void, completely unaware of how and when he got here, only muffled, somewhere in the distance, hearing a strange, painfully familiar voice, which he struggled to grasp, "Jungsuk, please come back. Come back to me!"

***

Jungsuk opened his eyes and immediately squinted, so strong and bright was everything around him. He stretched out on the soft sofa, stretching his cramped muscles, and yawned loudly. But suddenly Park jumped up on the couch as if stung and began to look around. He remembered, that he was in a completely different place. Dark, grim, violent, causing the most negative and terrible feelings, that could only be imagined. Jungsuk looked around again, not believing his eyes and not trusting his senses. The sun was shining brightly from the open windows, illuminating and warming everything it touched with its warm rays. Everything shone with colors, birds chirped merrily on the branches of the mighty trees, the lush green vegetation breathed life, a light and pleasant breeze blew on the skin. Jungsuk's eyes widened in surprise. He was back in his world, in the coast house, that Jonghyong had painted. Park walked slowly, as if cautiously, out into the street, still looking around, and stood on the porch, his hands gripping the railing to keep his balance. The last thing he remembered was Jonghyong's lifeless, uncomprehending eyes back in hell, his face, his hands, which the junior kept trying to move away from Park's insistent touch. And then... nothing. Darkness. Emptiness. Oblivion. Jungsuk was sure, that he had gone mad, that he had been subjected to madness in the way the Reaper had warned him. Then how did he end up here? Where's Jonghyong? Where did Junghyun go? What the hell happened to him in the first place, and why doesn't he remember anything? The questions gathered in one solid snowball, which only grew larger with each turn, gathering around itself the next inexplicable phenomena. Jungsuk clenched his hands on the railing until his knuckles were white, and squeezed his eyes shut to get his scattered thoughts in order. Although it was difficult to do so. A dry lump formed in his throat, blocking his windpipe, making it impossible to breathe. Jungsuk suddenly felt more alone than he had ever felt in his life. He had escaped, somehow escaped from that terrible and terrible place, but now, in his world of goodness and light, he was completely alone. Jonghyong wasn't around. And Park had no idea, what had happened to Junghyun. It would be better for Jungsuk to remain forever in a world of madness and paranoid fear, unable to return to reality than to remain alone for the rest of eternity. Tears of bitterness blurred his eyes, and now Park saw no point in holding them back. There was no one near him, no need to hold himself in check, bragging about his boundless self-control. And Jungsuk let himself go, bursting into salty and silent tears, only occasionally sobbing.

Suddenly, Park felt a strange presence behind him and was about to turn around to find out who was watching him, when strong arms wrapped around his waist, preventing him from moving. The other chin rested on his shoulder like a pleasant weight, a familiar favorite smell enveloped him from head to toe, and soft curls of hair tickled his cheek.

Jungsuk couldn't believe what he was feeling until he heard the voice. A voice, that made his whole body goosebumps, tremble and melt, and his heart jumped out of his chest to connect with the second one.

"Hello, Hyong."

"Jonghyong-e..." his husband's name came out of his mouth in such relief that another flood of tears welled up in his eyes. Jungsuk burst into tears like a child, still turning around and throwing himself into his junior's arms.

"Hyong, hyong..." Jonghyong kissed Jungsuk's face, collecting the salty drops, touching the warm and tender skin with his long fingers, ruffling his hair and pulling him closer, and closer, and closer, as if clinging to the only treasure in the world. Jungsuk gasped at Jonghyong's proximity. He missed him so much, so much, that the love, that had burned his immortal soul, was now so overwhelming, that the young man could not even say a word, so much did the feelings overwhelm him.

The salt from Hyong's cheeks mixed with the sweetness of his full pink lips, while Jonghyong devoured them with his own in a greedy and long-awaited deep kiss. He couldn't get enough of the senior, couldn't quite believe that this was really real, that his beloved was really with him and would never leave him again.

"Jonghyong," Jungsuk broke away from the smothering kiss and cupped his hands around his husband's face. "I missed you so much, I love you so much. But... how… How we… How you?.." Jungsuk couldn't find the words, while he looked around. Jonghyong smiled, and for the first time in a long time, Jungsuk saw the glint of his rich chocolate eyes. Junior was happy. Really happy. His anger and pain were gone, replaced by calmness and boundless love.

"There's only one way to get what you want," Jonghyong turned Jungsuk's back to him and began caressing the back of his head and neck with his fingers, feeling Hyong immediately try to touch them with his own, giving off heat, "you need to want it very much. To want something so fiercely, to make it come true," Jonghyong's whisper in his ear sent a shiver through his entire body, making him cling to the junior, feel him, touch him, "you saved me, made me remember you, evoked in me what I thought was long dead in me," Jonghyong touched his lips to the man's earlobe and closed his eyes when he heard his long moan, "faith. The belief, that I can handle it. The belief, that I can achieve what I want. Faith in yourself. I could never forgive myself for what was happening in my life. I blamed myself for everything. And this guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders, making it impossible to breathe deeply. And even when I was on the other side, I couldn't get rid of it. But you brought me back to life. You awakened in me the fire, that always kept me alive, reminded me of the most important thing."

"About what?" Jungsuk breathed, still running his fingers over his husband's broad hands, which were now wrapped around his waist again.

"How much I love you. It helped me not only get back to you but also to save you and get us out of there. I was so angry, that I was ready to destroy anyone, who stood in my way. I wouldn't give you up to anyone. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. Your power has become mine. And that helped us get out. I just opened my eyes and realized, that I was here, in this beautiful place, that we had created. With you."

Jungsuk closed his eyes and breathed evenly and calmly. The embrace of his husband calmed him, gave him that sense of fullness, that he had been missing for so long. He didn't care, how Jonghyong had pulled them out of their own hell. He knew by himself, that his husband was the strongest man in the world, so explanations were unnecessary. The only thing, that worried him, was the presence of a loved one, the reunion of their immortal souls, the happiness that literally drowned him when he felt Jonghyong's hands on him.

"It's so beautiful here," Jonghyong said, while he walked through the field, which was covered with a variety of flowers, admiring the surroundings without letting go of Jungsuk's hand. It seemed that if he did that, the senior would disappear again.

"I always told you, that you were beautiful in your painting," Jungsuk smiled, while he strolled beside his husband, his head resting on his shoulder.

"I'm not the author of all this, Jungsuk," Jonghyong suddenly stopped and stared at Hyong. "You recreated this world on your own, I was just the starting point. All of this wouldn't have happened without you," Jonghyong kissed the tip of Jungsuk's nose, content with the puckered face. He was shocked when, instead of the black walls and the smell of soot, he saw... this. The young man was speechless, when he realized, what this place was, and how it appeared. Jungsuk loved him so much, literally lived and breathed the junior, that even his world was a reflection of Jonghyong himself.

"I had help," Jungsuk smiled, thinking of Junghyun in his mind. Park wanted to see him again so badly. Reuniting with his husband had put the worry about Junghyun on the back burner, but now Jungsuk was acutely aware of his absence. He still didn't know what had happened to him.

"I couldn't have done it myself. I would have been suffocated by the loneliness and the sense of sorrow of being here. And I wouldn't have been able to walk a step in the bowels of hell trying to get to you if I hadn't had help."

"Well, that's too much, Hyong. You did it all by yourself. I was just a pain in your ass, a little egging and guiding you on the right path."

Jungsuk's eyes widened and a wide smile lit up his face when he heard a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, suddenly releasing Jonghyong's hand, and charged at the source of the sound.

"Junghyun!"

Junghyun looked like himself and immediately hugged Jungsuk, when he literally fell like an avalanche on his sworn brother, clasping his hands.

"Hyong, hyong, take easy. I'm dead, of course, but I still don't want to suffocate at the hands of my own relative."

Jungsuk let go of the younger guy, grabbing his cheeks, examining and feeling him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, but I'm too angry with you. How dare you leave me alone?! I was ready to come back for you and kill you a second time, just to bring your crazy head to reason! Have you ever wondered, why I took the image of your boss?" Jungsuk suddenly realized, that he had never really thought about it, and shook his head. "Because I thought I could influence you in some way. You respected his authority when you were alive. If I showed up like... well, me, you wouldn't take me seriously. And what did you end up doing, huh?" Junghyun punched Jungsuk in the shoulder.

"Trust me, it was worth it," Jungsuk stepped away from Junghyun, giving him a clear view.

Junghyun breathed in feverishly when he saw... saw his brother. Jonghyong stared at him and couldn't take a step. Couldn't move. Couldn't say anything. His eyes widened in shock, his lips parted, and his ears thundered. He couldn't believe, what he was seeing. His brother, so beautiful and so dear, was standing just a few meters away from him, smiling broadly.

"Hi, Hyong."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jonghyong ran to his brother and hugged him so hard and fiercely, as if he was afraid, that he was about to disappear without a trace. Junghyun stroked the man's back, whispering words of comfort, while he wept and clung to his brother's clothes in disbelief.

"Junghyun. Junghyun-e, I... I…"

"I know, Hyong. I know. I missed you, too. I love you," Junghyun hugged his brother, but his eyes were fixed on Jungsuk. Park looked at the junior questioningly and saw a glint in his brown eyes.

"Thank you," the junior mouthed wordlessly, and Jungsuk smiled and simply nodded back, placing his hand on Jonghyong's clasped hands around his neck.

"I love you," Jonghyong brushed Jungsuk's hair, as he lay in his arms on the soft mat of lush green grass.

Jungsuk took a deep breath. Jonghyong uttered these words, which were so difficult for him in life, with such feeling and confidence that his heart was filled with lightness, and Park was afraid of the prospect of flying up like a helium balloon from the overabundance of emotions inside.

"I love you, you will always be with me now," Jungsuk echoed, kissing his husband's face.

"And maybe..." Jonghyong paused for a moment, thinking, " let's go back."

Jungsuk pulled away from Jonghyong, looking at his face in surprise. His eyebrows went up, as the young man realized, that his husband was completely serious.

"We'll meet again. You're going to chase me and molest me again," the junior grinned and yelled when he received a heavy poke in the side. "We'll fall in love again, live our lives anew. And maybe you won't have to save me all the time. And then we'll be together again, here," Jonghyong waved his hand at the landscape stretching out before his eyes.

"But it's going to be different," Jungsuk rubbed his palms over Jonghyong's face, overcome by strange emotions. Fear mixed with anticipation.

"Maybe," Jonghyong reached for Hyong's touch, petting him like a kitten, "but I'm sure one thing will stay the same."

"How much we love each other," Park completed the junior's unspoken thought, and the junior smiled, nodding in agreement.

"Can you find me? We don't know, where or how far we'll be from each other, hah?" Jonghyong's playful look amused Jungsuk. He burst into a crystal-clear laugh, that caressed the junior's ears, bringing peace. But suddenly, Jungsuk's face took on a very serious expression, that even alerted the junior. Hyong took his hand and intertwined his fingers with it, trying to convey all the confidence, all the firmness and significance of his next words, "I found you in hell. On earth, this will not be difficult."

Jonghyong took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and relaxed, at the mercy of others' hands and lips. Jungsuk kissed him gently, carefully, but at the same time with the desire and strength with which he always acted. Jonghyong felt Hyong's love, loyalty, and support felt him completely and completely. His soul rejoiced, reunited with the missing piece of the puzzle in the form of the essence of Jungsuk. Jonghyong felt the happiness, that permeated every cell, every atom of his being, and literally resonated with an overabundance of emotions. Jungsuk loves him. So much so that he would have stormed hell to find him and save him. Jonghyong was willing to give up everything he had or would have in the future for Hyong, willing to change anything, do anything to be reunited with him again. If he gets a second chance, if he can live his life again with his beloved, he doesn't need more. This time, he wasn't going to back down, wasn't going to give in to his fears. He will be as strong, as his Hyong deserves. Because of him. For him. No matter how, no matter where no matter when, their souls will find each other even in the most remote parts of the globe. After all, it can't be any other way.