Riyaz pushed Rokesh across the wall and grabbed him by the neck with his long fingers. With his other hand, he grabbed his hair and kissed him passionately. Pushing tongues inside each other's mouth. They devoured each other's lips and wanted nothing but more. Following his want, Riyaz pulled off his t-shirt. He waved his hands on the bare chest and took him in by holding his waist and kissed him. Soon, Riyaz too pulled off his t-shirt. Riyaz leaped and hugged him in the air and Rokesh held his thighs. They went to Rokesh's bedroom and Rokesh laid Riyaz on his bed.
Rokesh sat above him and removed Riyaz's pants and slowly then his underwear. Then he laid above him and kissed him while Riyaz removed his pants. Biting each other's lips and kissing on necks were all they were doing being naked.
Riyaz was gasping for air when Rokesh was pleasing him. Riyaz grabbed Rokesh's head by both of his hands and pushed it down and down; again and again. After that, Riyaz was eaten by Rokesh. Riyaz was never warmer and so wasn't Rokesh.
Inside it went and moaned Riyaz. In and out continuously. Until they both came.
They both laid there on the bed naked; in exhaustion.
"Well, that was something," Rokesh said gasping.
"Yes! Wilder than ever!" Riyaz joined
Rokesh frowned at that. Riyaz noticed that.
"What?"
"Nothing…." Rokesh tried to simmer off his feelings.
Riyaz sighed and sat up and gave him a crossed brow.
"It wasn't just wild for me, that's it…"
"Not again!" Riyaz complained and got up and started looking for his clothes.
"What? I just said it was more than wild for me, that's all!"
"Yeah, and what exactly was the more part?" Riyaz asked in irritation and frustration while wearing his grey half-sleeved t-shirt.
"It was… Something…"
"Something passionate, something vehement, something extraordinary. Correct? (Rokesh couldn't answer even though he tried to) Well, let me tell you what it was. It was just pure wild sex for me. Just to animals in crazy lust fucking each other's asses off and nothing else!"
Rokesh hesitated, "It--- was the same---same for me too…"
"No, it wasn't" Riyaz shook his head with a snarky smile.
Rokesh tried to say something.
"Anyways, thanks for calling me here. Your folks might be here soon. So, I should leave. Call me next time when you get the chance."
Rokesh wanted to stop him. He wanted to hug him and kiss him thousand times. He wanted to do everything they did for the last half-hour again because he hadn't enough. Hadn't had enough of either the sex or from him. He wanted him. Every time. He didn't know why but he just wanted to.
But he saw that Riyaz is not at all like what Rokesh thinks. Or what he wishes. To Riyaz, he is just some toy he cannot have enough of. And for Rokesh, Riyaz is that pillow that he wants to hold onto tight every night when he'll go to sleep.
But that cannot happen. And Rokesh realized that. After four years of intimacy he shared with Riyaz, he realized then that it will forever be just that. Just intimacy and nothing else more than that. And he didn't want that. He needed to end it. Then itself. Because he didn't believe he ever could if not then.
"No!" Rokesh shouted just before Riyaz reached the door.
Riyaz turned and chuckled,
"No, what?"
"No um--- uh… I won't be able to call you anymore. (Riyaz seemed confused) The shopping for my sister's wedding would be um--- over soon and so I don't (breathes deeply) think I'll be having the house to myself all alone anytime soon, so…. (Riyaz began to say something) And also it been four years of this. So I think we should umm--- put a stop to it. So, I won't be calling you for this. Never."
Riyaz smiled annoyed and said,
"Wow! Way to ruin my first weekend of 10th vacation!"
He opened the door and slammed it once he got out.
The SSC (10th) examinations are over in the year 2015 and every kid who has passed through that hurdle wants nothing else but rest and peace in his life. After a whole year of grind, kids' fuel seems to reach its minimum. And parents of these kids let them do what they want to do. The kids listen to what other's say the previous whole year, the least parents could do is let them do what they want in their vacation.
Riyaz wished to spend his vacation screwing with Rokesh but Rokesh denied doing that so he had nothing fun to do. Rokesh was traumatized at first but as her sister's wedding preparation unraveled, the sadness seemed to fade away.
The rest of the kids had different stories of their own.
Aman built up the courage to do the thing he wanted to for the last month i.e. for the first month of his 10th vacation. And so towards the end of the month, Aman decided to do it. That day. And wanted to start a new journey in his college. He kind of knew his family would have no problem with it. With his dad being a journalist and his mom a lawyer, they were modern with almost everything. But he wasn't sure. They are at the end, people from the old times. But he must do it. This cannot wait any longer.
While they were having dinner in their favorite restaurant, specifically desert, Aman put his ice cream aside and gathered everyone's attention.
"Papa, Mumma, Nadia, and Hamzah, there's something I want to tell you guys," Aman said seriously.
"They're not out yet, are they? Your results?" The mom asked worriedly.
"No, mom!" Hamzah said.
"Oh, that would've been fun. Because seeing your face would mean that you failed. Ah, bummer!" Nadia teased.
"Will you let the young man speak?" Dad asked. "Continue son."
"Hmm… So umm--- I don't know what will happen after this but it's just that I have loved you guys so much that it would kill me if you guys would stop talking to me or something."
"Not talking to you… Ah, a dream!" Nadia teased again.
"What are you saying, dear? Why won't we talk to you?" Mom asked.
Aman inhaled a deep breath.
"I am gay."
The family fell silent.
Aman decided to tell them also because it was outside and people were present and so they won't create a scene. But who's to say that they won't once they reach home?
"Umm… we know…" Humzah said.
"What?" Aman was bedazzled.
"Yes, son we know."
"How?"
"We got a hint when you insisted us so much to watch Bombay talkies in theatres the second time. And the hint grew stronger when both the times, you saw the kiss with your eyes wide open." Mom said.
"Uh---"
"And also, your constant talks about peach seeming like a butt. And also constant conversations of Daniel Radcliffe didn't help you." Nadia said.
"Wha---"
"Son, we have no problem with you being gay, bi, trans, or anything. You are our child and Nadia and Humzah's brother, and that will never change no matter what you are." Dad said.
Aman looked at his family looking at him with acceptance and a proud smile on their faces.
Aman smiled too and nodded,
"Okay." He laughed.
"Good. Now eat your ice cream before it turns to milkshake." Mom said and Aman continued eating his ice cream.
---
But things weren't so merry for Amar. Right around the end of his first month of vacations, he woke in the morning to the sound of his parent's argument. Arguments were usual. He's been hearing those for like two months. So he was pretty okay with it.
But never had he heard of someone crying. He realized his mother started to cry. He followed the argument to their room and peeked from the open door. Abusing words were being thrown from both sides. But when the mother called the father's mother a cunt, the father slapped her hard.
Amar flinched seeing that. Never has he seen physical abuse. Never. Amar turned slowly and started walking away; unable to forget what he just saw, He slowly sat down on his bed and started shaking. He noticed the argument had been cut off but what he saw was enough to traumatize him his whole vacation.
'"But tonight, our little project; our company had a big night—a very big night. But it wasn't complete. (Jerry shakes his head) It wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete. Because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice. Or laugh about it with you. I miss my w--- I miss my wife. (A brief pause) We live in a cynical world; a cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. (A brief pause again) I love you. You complete me. And I've just ha---"
"Shut up…" Dorothy interrupts to which Jerry goes speechless "Just shut up. You had me at hello. You had me at hello…." Jerry smiles and goes to her and hugs her while everyone else present awes.'
"That's such a beautiful scene!"
"What's beautiful about it?" Confused Jayden asked.
"Confessing love, obviously!"
"He confessed it in front of people!"
"That's even more romantic," The elder sister said in awe.
Before Jayden argue anymore, his mother asked everyone to join the dining table for dinner.
He got up and started thinking,
'There's absolutely no way that is romantic. If anything, that is, it is terrifying!' He started washing his hands. 'Could never be me. I mean yes, the speech was beautiful but everything besides that was just unnerving! Like people ogling at you, uff!!!' Jayden joined the dining table. 'And throughout the whole movie, Jerry has been this logical dude so why he pulled out that stunt in front of everyone? Is it because he was in love?' Starts filling his plate with food. 'Does love make you that fearless? Will I be that fearless when I fall in love? Will I be able to confess my love in front of people?' Jayden eats and chuckles, 'Never!'
---
Deep's father stopped the car in front of the Gupta's entrance and after Harshad, Shweta, and Harsh comes out of it, He drove the car away and the Mehra's made their way inside the house. Harsh looked at the interior of the house. Same background, same lightings, the same amount of furniture in every room. Nothing was exciting in that house. Not from the looks, that is. When you look at the house, you could see the boredom it possesses. The kids of the Gupta's weren't old enough to be mingled and the elders would talk the same thing they would always. About studies, about sports, about girls or cars occasionally. But now when his 10th was over, everyone would start talking about what he should follow.
Like Amit uncle who would start recalling his days of how he had only ten rupees in his pocket when he started walking and now owns five industries. Or Danik Uncle would start talking about his never-ending research on something Harsh never bothered to listen to or care about. Or Jordan Uncle starting again of how he tackles every day being a journalist.
But he has to face them. To pass the event. He has given up wondering why even they attend these family events. They never keep in touch with anyone and when someone invites them to Tequila Tuesdays, Tea Thursday, Fry Friday, south Indian Saturday. Or occasional birthday parties, anniversaries, or some other boring, monotonous event where Harshad Mehra would just chatter with other old men about the market, stocks, and shares, Shweta Mehra would try to fit in with the WP i.e. Women Party of the whole family. And Harsh Mehra would just roam aimlessly here and there.
And that was the same thing happening that day. The dad was busy talking boring stuff, mom was being made fun of and Harsh just sipping his fourth glass of orange juice because there was nothing for him to drink. It was Tequila Tuesday after all.
He noticed Uncle Jordan's son Jayden was there talking with other people. He thought he could talk to him as he attends these events rarely and he was fun to be with. But he noticed that his mom being the odd woman out in the WP. She was made fun of and was silent more than ever.
He got up at that instant and asked his mother to accompany him. She excused herself and went with him. He took her to an open space where people were not that crowded.
"What happened Harsh?"
"I cannot understand why you don't stop being so nice to them! (Mother rolled her eyes) They do nothing but are rude to you, make fun of you and you are always left out!"
"Then what am I supposed to do here?" The mom asked with a grin.
"Be at a place like me. Or better, hang out with me!"
"And what will everyone call me then?
'Look, Mrs. Gupta! God knows what kind of vanity she is driven on! Doesn't even talk to us, how arrogant!'
So I prefer to be called anything else than arrogant and thus I try to fit in."
"But it's been 17 years and they still treat you like nothing! Maybe this isn't meant to be, you know?"
"Everything was quite okay when your father would be there for me. But now even he has stopped doing that so it's been worse. But that doesn't mean I am going to give everything up!"
Harsh nodded.
"Now, let's go and kill ourselves a little more."
The mother joined the group and anyone barely noticed. She noticed how Harsh joined Jayden and started talking with him. She smiled and tried to be a part of the conversation they were having.
---
"More chapati, please!" Deep asked his mother.
The mother gave him a chapati.
"Deep?" Father called him. Deep looked at him.
"You know your sister has to marry next year."
"Yes." Deep replied while eating his lunch.
"So being a driver won't be enough. Even you have to earn now."
Deep seemed confused.
"What?"
"I said it's time for you to earn. When I was your age, I was about to become a father. Of you! So the least you could do is work and earn a little."
"Are you serious?"
"Do I not look serious?"
"But Baap… my studies?...."
"You have your whole life for studies. But now focus on earning!"
"Baap, this is child labor!"
"Enough, now! Eat your food!" The father ordered.
Deep looked at his mother in the hope she'll say something but she didn't move her sight from her plate. Then Deep realized that this was happening for real and couldn't say anything else.
---
"We must eat meat tonight!" The dad expressed.
"But why?" Mom asked.
"Our Luv has scored 88% in SSC (10th)! It is a must, Mumma!" Maya said.
"Yes!" Dev agreed.
"But it's so costly! They charge like the double here for non-veg!" Mom reasoned.
"Again with the cost! We come to a restaurant so rarely and today our son has scored 88% in 10th! It's a time of celebration! And therefore we mustn't look at money!" Dad said.
"Mom? (Mom looked at Luvraj) Please?..."
Mom gave up and said,
"Fine!"
Everyone smiled and looked at the menu.
"Luvraj affects mom, don't you think Maya?" Dev asked.
"Why say that brother?" Maya asked.
"It's just you know, Luvraj said a please and she said yes while to the rest of us she said no!"
"Oh, yeah!" Maya realized it too.
"That's because none of you scored 88% in SSC! You (Maya) scored 52% and you (Dev) scored 65%." Mom snapped.
"That's right. Our Luvraj have made us and will continue to make us proud." Dad said to which Luvraj frowned a little but hid that quickly.
"Ouch!" Dev exclaimed and expressed his hurt feelings.
"Ouch, it is, brother!" Maya joined with the same hurtful expression. "Only a chicken tandoori will make my mood better!"
Everyone except Maya and Dev laughed.
---
Jacob hugs his best friend Nazmin tightly.
"Oh, I missed you?"
"We literally video called each other an hour ago and met yesterday!" Nazmin exclaimed while maintaining the hug.
Jacob inhaled a deep breath and broke the hug and said,
"You're my best friend Nazmin. I miss you 24/7."
"Wow to be heard that last sentence from a guy is every girl's dream. But not if the guy is gay!" Nazmin commented.
Jacob chuckled and again hugged her.
"Oh, what am I gonna do without you in college?!"
10 minutes later
"It won't be that difficult to live your college life without me," Nazmin said while eating her chocolate ice cream.
"Are you kidding me? We made plans of doing this and that in college together. But one day you come to me and say, 'I will be going to college far away.' Why? Because she is too scared to confess her parents on living her liberating dreams."
"Look! Not everyone has a cool family as you do! My family expects me to offer Namaz fives times a day; which I can do if I stop doing the things I like watching movies every time, roaming here and there, or living life! They expect me to be at home as much as possible and do nothing except household kinds of stuff and studies. They do not want me to talk to boys and not be outside after 9. They expect me to wear burkha even if I ask my neighbor for a tomato!"
Then Jacob eyes Nazmin's blue top and white jeans.
"I changed on the way here. There goes another one! My family is okay with me purchasing these clothes but expects me not to wear them outside. They want me to wear these clothes inside the house!"
"I am sorry Nazmin."
"I know you are. Look I can be the perfect daughter only if they don't put all these regulations on my life! But I know that is never, ever going to happen. That's why I need to go to college far away from here to do things I like. To put on lipstick without being afraid of dad catching me and scolding me. I want to watch movies in the theatre and go to parties. And if I want to achieve all that, I have to be away from here. And it sucks that I'll be leaving you in this because you want to do commerce from the best college which is not so far away from here. But to do what I want, I have to go."
"I know. I understand. It's just that you're the only person who knows I am gay. And I'll be alone there you know?"
"I know. And I am so sad I'll be missing out on your lusting on men!"
"Who knows if there will be lusting?"
"Are you kidding? Your weakness is guys in folded sleeves or guys in a t-shirt or upper two buttons open in a shirt. You don't get turned on by seeing a man in underwear but you'll start drooling if you see revealed cleavage. And considering that there will be a lot of revealed cleavages of guys, I'll be missing a lot!"
"Okay, now you're making me nervous."
"Why?!"
"It's college! World of unlimited possibilities! Anything can happen."
"Jacob, you have to put yourself out there. Because if there s even one gay dude in your college, he should stick to you like metal sticks to a magnet. You know how hard it is to find a gay guy in India." Nazmin suggested.
"I know. So what about that boyfriend of yours? Is he going to the same college as you?"
"No. He is staying here. He, like you, wants to study commerce from the best college."
"Oh, so you're broken up?" Jacob asked.
"Yes. And I don't feel sad or anything. We connected during the start of this vacation and we are separated towards the end."
"Still sucks we didn't get to meet!"
"Things weren't that serious to introduce him to my brother," Nazmin said.
"Hmm. What was his name again?"
"Jayden Matthew," Nazmin replied with crossed eyebrows.
"Hmm… Jayden Matthew… Maybe I'll stab him."
"Okay," Nazmin said maintaining the crossed eyebrows.
"Wait! Did you call me a brother earlier?"
"Okay if you want a brother to fall for you, you'd have to be more attentive than this!"
Jacob chuckled and hugged her again.
"I'll miss you!"
Nazmin giggled, "Me too brother."
---
"What kind of clothes do you want?" Romit's mom asked.
Romit shrugged his shoulders and said,
"I don't know."
"Okay, for someone who's gay, you are too silent and dull."
"Thanks. I like to be normal."
"But you aren't."
"Mom?..." Romit felt attacked.
"Oh, no Romit! I didn't mean it like that. You know you are different from others right?"
"Yes."
"So that makes you not normal. Not in any bad way or something. You get me?"
Romit chuckled,
"I am just messing with you."
"I know. I am your mother after all. I may've not known that you fancy the mountains and not the caves but I know what is your serious face."
"Mom!"
"Okay, the last one I promise."
"Good."
"So, Romit?"
"Yeah?" Romit replies while looking at a stack of t-shirts.
"What kind of boys do you like?"
Romit looked at her with wide eyes,
"What?!"
"Believe me, I wanted to ask this question before you go off to college. I mean not with boys but it is what it is."
"What are you saying, mother?"
"What is your type, son?"
"And why are you asking me this?"
"Because…"
She takes him somewhere in a less crowded part of the store to continue with the conversation.
"Because college gives you a wider space to experience things than college. For many people, it gives them wings. But wings are easily cut-off. And then you are forever bruised. And so I thought I could maybe guide you…"
"Thanks, mom, but I am fine." Romit was about to leave but mom held his right hand.
"Romit…" Mom is emotional. "When you told me you are… gay, I thought I don't know my son anymore. Believe me, I had no problem with it. I just put this life in my head of you and when you told me that, your whole life, your future that I built with my eyes, crumbled down so fast that I cannot even save a little of it. Then I uh… felt that I don't know you anymore. Again, I had no problem with you but I just… you know…"
Romit chuckled and held her hand which held his hand with his left hand.
"I know."
Mom chuckled and nodded.
Just then a tall, a little muscled guy walked by.
Mom mouthed, 'Him?'
"Oh, no! Too tall." Romit replied.
After that a short but muscular guy started looking at clothes in a rack nearby.
Mom mouthed with a worried face, 'Him?'
"No. Too muscular." Romit replied quietly.
"Thank God!" Mom exclaimed loudly and they both widen their eyes. The short guy turned and looked at them. They smiled at him and he smiled at Romit only and got back to his search in the rack.
"Now can we go look for my clothes?" Romit asked.
"Yes, please." Mom said hurriedly and rushed off.
After they were away from that guy she asked,
"Did he flirt with you?"
"Yeah, he did," Romit replied.
"Ah! Too bad!" Mom exclaimed and expressed her sadness.
"Mom!" Romit exclaimed and she just laughed.
---
Ahmed heard a knock on his door while learning Spanish on youtube on his mobile. He paused the video and was told to come in. It was his dad. Having an awkward smile on his face. Ahmed quickly turned to an upright posture and sat on his bed properly. Ahmed's dad sat beside him on the bed. It was late night and Ahana was asleep.
"You packed everything up?" Dad asked.
"There was nothing to pack actually. Just a book and a pen in my old bag."
"Oh. Okay." His dad nodded and understood that that was a dumb thing to ask.
Just then Ahmed noticed something rather big in his dad's left hand.
"What's that?" Ahmed asked.
The dad looked at Ahmed staring at his left hand and then he looked at his left hand and then remembered why he was there in the first place.
"Oh, yes! (Gives the thing to Ahmed) It's for you!"
"A brand-new bag!" Ahmed exclaims astonishingly looking at the new bag in his hands.
"Yeah, your mother told me you asked for a new bag."
"Yes, I did. (Ahmed felt quite something like sad for not asking his dad) Thank you. And look it's Adidas!"
"Yes. It's your reward for scoring 79%. And from tomorrow, you're starting college; a new beginning; a new step of the ladder of life. I know how much quality affects you, and if this 3000 rupees bag will help boost your confidence, then it is nothing for me."
Ahmed has been distant from his father after he slit his wrists. He wanted to make things better but whenever he would try to, he would be reminded how Ranbir left his residence without saying goodbye. And that's because of what happened the last time they were together. The whole hug-neck-kissing thing.
But now his father had tried to help him mend the bridge. But he was scared, nervous because of what he had done to him. Granted that his father hasn't been the most delightful being in his life, but his silence proved his guilt. And he has forgiven him for things before. The least he could do is forgive him.
But this thought never left his mind that it took him his son's suicide attempt to realize the trauma he was in.
"You ready for tomorrow then?" Dad asked.
Ahmed got out of his thoughts and replied,
"Yes."
"Good. Well, good luck." Dad said and left leaving Ahmed speechless and confused.
Dad also didn't like how he ended the conversation but he felt he had nothing left to talk about and Ahmed's disinterest in talking. So he got up and left.
But little did he know Ahmed was thinking of ways to talk to him.
---
"Nice shot!" The boy complimented Riyaz.
Riyaz couldn't do anything but blush to that.
"Come on, another shot like this, and we will win!"
The boy shouted from the non-striker side.
The baller started his run-up and Riyaz held a firmer grip of his cricket bat. The baller threw the ball a yorker; Riyaz's specialty. He swung his bat being on one knee and hit the ball. Riyaz prayed it would be a six. And it was! Riyaz got his team to win.
"Yes!" The boy shouted from the non-striker end as soon the ball hit the boundary line and started running towards him. Riyaz noticed the boy running towards him a few seconds away from actually reaching to him. But to Riyaz, it felt like the time slowed down to its minimum. But Riyaz wasn't sad about it. He studied his face. Utter happiness and pride spread on his face. Seeing his wide smile, Riyaz too smiled then and not when he hit the six. The boy hugged him tightly then.
"You did it! You gave us victory. (Closely to his ear and slowly) And your reward will be given to you today at my place." Then the boy broke the hug and saw Ahmed's excited face. After then, everyone congratulated Ahmed and praised him. But he didn't care about them. He just wanted to exchange the look the boy was giving him and to have that reward.
Riyaz ringed the bell and the boy entered the door. He entered and asked,
"Don't you ever feel alone in this big…"
Ahmed was left breathless when the boy held him by the waist from behind. "You know what I wanted to do when those drops of sweat were flowing down your face?"
Ahmed tried to ignore the heat formed and gulped down,
"What?....."
"Do this." The boy replied and started licking his neck hungrily while Ahmed was too weak to stand.
"Dav---" Riyaz wanted to talk but he was again interrupted.
"Sh… Just enjoy…" And then he continued with it.
It was the boy and his class' farewell and so Riyaz being in 9th standard was serving them along with some other students of the same class as him as it happens in Indian schools. The whole evening, Riyaz was so disgusted to see that boy flirting with a girl. While in reality, that same boy has been fucking Riyaz for almost a year. He didn't want some reclamation but just a 'Hi' or 'I will miss you.' would work. But ignoring him was plain outrageous.
He waited till the end of his farewell but when he didn't show up, he realized this is not normal. So when he was about to leave with his group, Riyaz called him up. The boy stopped for a second and seemed like took a deep breath and then turned to have a smile.
"Hey, you! Didn't notice you here!" he said.
"Yes, you did! You commented on how he rocked the waiter-suit he was wearing." One of the boys from his group said.
"Yes, you talked to me about him too." Some other boy said.
"Me too." The girl said with whom the boy was flirting.
"Oh, so you couldn't tell me that?" Riyaz asked the boy whose, as a matter of fact, smile had now vanished away.
"You seemed busy." The boy replied avoiding looking at Riyaz.
"Okay," Riyaz replied with a frown.
"We were heading to McDonald's now and it seems you're free now, so why don't you join us?" One of the boys in the group offered.
But before Riyaz could reply, the boy said,
"Nah, man! He needs to study."
"What are you his PA or something? He could answer for himself." The same boy who offered to come teased.
"Shut the fuck up, okay? Anyways, I am out. No mood for a burger anymore." The boy said and started to leave while the group was left confused.
"David, are you okay?" Riyaz asked while approaching him.
"David turned and shouted,
"Will you get off my back and kiss someone's ass of your age?!" David left which left the group even more confused. But he left Riyaz hurt more than ever. Never has David talked to him like that. He had barely talked to him while the time they knew each other but never like that he did.
And if he had insulted Riyaz in front of his group only, then it would be okay considering they won't be there in the next year. But he said that while his classmates were around. So David not only left Riyaz heartbroken but also traumatizing next and last year for him. Riyaz could only cry.'
Riyaz woke up from that dream he was having. But it wasn't much of a dream but more of a memory. And 10th standard was indeed traumatizing for him with what David had said. He after that incident swore to never feel for a guy. He wanted to start afresh from his college and why not? He deserved this he believed.
Brushing his mind away from that memory, he started getting ready for his first day of college.
---
Rokesh reaches college quite early as there was barely anyone in his classroom.
He entered the class and saw a kid at the back but he seemed morbid. And also he found the kid familiar and wanted nothing to do with him. So he decided to not sit anywhere beside him as it was his first day of college and he didn't want the morbid kid ruining it because he was sulking. Then he saw a girl who was too much on her own taking selfies and all. He wanted to avoid that girl at any cost. She just gave him too many vibes of being narcissistic. Then he saw a couple more then decided to sit at one corner of the room in the middle room. Few more people joined the class but they seemed to have someone with them already. Given up hope on a happy beginning, he put his head down to rest.
After a while, he held up his head and saw to his side a boy sitting beside him. He was listening to music. And seemed to be writing something. He seemed different than other kids. He seemed a kid with a clear sight of what he wants to do with his life.
Rokesh nudged his arm to gather his attention. The boy didn't give anything. He was completely unbothered. Rokesh concluded that he wasn't interested in talking to him. Besides, what came into Rokesh; having that urge to talk to him? Curiosity? But towards a boy? That's a first. Like there were other times when Rokesh found other boys interesting but not in a way he found that boy.
"Yes?"
Rokesh looked at him who was looking at him. He blinked several times before asking.
"What?"
"You were the one who nudged my arm right?"
"Umm… yeah..."
"Sorry to reply so late. I was listening to this song for the first time very closely. Whenever I listen to a song for the first time, I listen to it closely to understand every aspect of it. That's why I didn't reply to you."
"Um, that's what I do! I do the same thing."
"No way! For real?"
"Yes!" They both smiled.
"I am Romit."
"I am Rokesh." They both nodded heads.
"So why commerce?"
---
Harsh entered the class in an exciting mood. Every Indian kid is excited about their first day of college. The same was the case of Harsh. The class was full of kids and they all were talking to each other and he couldn't see an empty seat easily. He saw two; one beside that morbid kid and one beside a girl who just like Romit was listening to music. Avoiding the morbid kid, Harsh sat down beside Harsh.
"Hello." Harsh greeted.
The girl saw Harsh mouthing something to her. So she removed her earplugs and asked with a confused smile,
"What?"
"Oh, I just said hello."
"Oh. Um… hello to you too."
"My name is Harsh Mehra and yours?"
The girl seemed intrigued to see Harsh's guts. He introduced himself in his third sentence to her and asked her name in the same sentence. Normally she would avoid such fast guys but something about Harsh felt different.
"Ariana. I am Ariana."
"Nice to meet you, Ariana." He shook hands with her and she nodded. "So why Commerce?"
"I don't like Science. And Arts for my parents is too low to choose for someone who scored 82% so I am here with the remaining option."
"82%, wow!" Harsh exclaimed.
"Oh, please not again! No offense but I am tired of hearing praises!" Ariana complained.
"Oh, okay. So suck you for scoring 2% less than me or something. Is it fine now?"
"It's perfect!" Ariana said and they chuckled.
"So, 84% huh?"
"Oh, please not again!" Harsh mocked and they laughed.
---
"So I was on my last move," Luvraj began to tell his story.
"Yes?..." Aman asked curiously and enthusiastically.
"And my cherry was three steps above the bottom."
"Then what did you do?"
"I was in constant search of matching candies below the cherry but I just couldn't find anything."
"Oh…" Aman was too invested.
"But then I thought I can make it work if I use the lollipop power."
"You had the lollipop power?!" Aman asked with wide eyes.
"Yeah dude, I save them for situations like those. I have like 20 of them."
"Nice!!!"
"So, I used it, matched the candy below the cherry and the cherry was down, and boom! I won." Luvraj said proudly.
"Cool! Man, whenever I have that power, I use it up for stupid moves. I have zero power." Aman expressed grief.
"Me too!" A boy shouted behind them and both Luvraj and Aman were shocked.
"Um, who are you?" Aman asked.
The boy nervously chuckled and answered,
"I am Amar. I was kinda eavesdropping the whole time. I am sorry."
"No worries man. Candy Crush Saga forever! (Amar smiled) So what level are you on?"
---
Riyaz was pretty bummed about the dream. He didn't want to be reminded of the heartbreak before the start of his college. And the last thing he wanted was to be morbid on the first day of college. But he couldn't do much. He saw other students looking at him and choosing to avoid him. He wouldn't blame them. Who would want to start their college life with someone who looks like he could kill anyone?
Riyaz hated David. After what he did to him, he hated him. Hated even more because he knew if he would apologize, Riyaz will go back to being the person he was with him. At present, he would cringe at the thought of doing anything with David. But he knew he was weak towards him. Riyaz had not so great vacations either. It started with Rokesh ending their fling. He understood why Rokesh did so and knew it was he who was to blame. Rokesh did the right thing ending that knowing Riyaz would never feel the same way as he does. Riyaz knew that. Riyaz couldn't just think of the thing he had with Rokesh more than just a fling. He won't let himself. Because David did that to him. David had made him so scared to feel something for someone.
And to make matters worse, he had noticed that Rokesh was in the same class as his. He too had ignored him and sat with someone else. Riyaz was kind of thankful and sad for that at the same time. Thankful because he didn't want to be reminded again that he is broken inside and a coward. And sad because he was all alone.
Just then, his eyes looked at the person coming into the class. And just like that within a second, all of his sadness vanished looking at his eyes.
"Ahmed! Wait for me, dude!" Shouted a boy behind him.
Riyaz was confused as to how he could have the power to push away all of his sadness. 'Who is this Ahmed?'
---
"Jacob, you smell great today," Jayden said quietly to Jacob who was sitting beside him while they both were writing down notes.
"You smell normal," Jacob said in an annoyed tone.
"Where is your tone coming from?"
"Nowhere. I am just tired."
"Oh, you are?"
"Is that so hard to believe now?!"
"No, I just planned something for us later today."
"Oh, is it some more hiding and making out session?" Jacob asked now in an angry tone.
"Wha---"
"Forget it!" Jacob said and got up and sat beside Ahmed. Leaving Jayden messed up and confused.
-After college; in the home-
Jayden got a text from Jacob.
'Sorry.'
Jayden smiled a little and typed.
'For what?'
'For my behavior today. I don't know what got over me.'
'I understood what you meant though. I know you don't want to be my secret.'
'And I don't want that either. But I want time.'
Jacob seemed to be typing something but stopping again. Finally, his response popped up.
'And you have that. All you want.'
-After a few weeks-
Jacob and Jayden seemed to be having a rough patch. Jayden didn't know why but Jacob seemed disinterested in doing anything more than just talking. Jayden decided to immediately clear this out. It was lunchtime and Jayden said to Jacob while everyone was busy with their things.
"Hey."
"Hey!" Jacob replied without even looking.
"I wanted to…"
Jayden was interrupted by Adyant and Keshav.
"Jayden, joining us in the canteen?" Adyant asked.
"Yeah. Rokesh informed us, that the senior girl with the tight ponytail is there. Come!" Keshav insisted.
"Uh, yeah! Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." Jayden replied at which Jacob frowned.
"Cool. You're welcome to join too." Keshav told to Jacob.
Jacob smiled, "Thanks but I'll pass."
Adyant and Keshav left.
Jayden looked at Jacob with an apologetic look and said,
"Sorry…. They asked and I thought on refusing on them but I just ended up saying it."
"It's okay."
"But, I am not going to go before I have the conversation I wanted to have."
"Okay."
"So, what's up? Why are you acting strange?"
"Acting strange? What do you mean?"
"I mean, whenever I try to do anything more than just talking, you get all awkward and get away from me. What's that?!"
"Um, you know since Ahmed had that accident, I am just trying my best to be there for him, you know? I mean he fell down the stairs, that's some big…."
"Oh, and are you being there for Ahmed every moment of your life?" Jayden asked with a raised brow.
"Jayden, why are you being like this? It's not like we owe us anything or something. Just get over with it."
"No, I don't want that! Look. I know there is some strange behavior between us. And I want to know what is that. So will you please tell me?" Jayden asked with begging eyes.
Jacob looked at him and exhaled deeply,
"I don't want me to be something you just hide and have fun with. I never believed in that and I still don't. But you're an exception because I love you which still doesn't help me being with you and ignoring every other shitty thing you do and…" Jacob looks at Jayden smiling brightly and stops confused.
"What?"
"Did you just said to me that you love me?"
Jacob was confused for one second but then pretty soon he blushed.
"Oh, Jacob…" Jayden got a call from Keshav which he picked up fast and started talking. After a few seconds, Jayden made a sorry face,
"I have to go… (Jacob smiled knowingly) But we will continue this don't worry."
Jayden left.
Jacob was disheartened. He just said he loves him and Jayden just left him because Keshav kept on calling him. That made him furious more than ever. But also sad.
---
"You get me," Aman said.
"I get that a lot," Luvraj said.
"No, but like you came all of a sudden and broke every cover of protection I had on me and saw the real; hidden me," Aman said with puppy eyes.
Luvraj smiled, "I am glad for that. (pauses for a little while) But why do you need protection covering though?"
"What?"
"Why can't you show the real person that you are to everyone?"
Aman saw Luvraj's eyes and knew he couldn't keep anything from them.
"Um, because (chuckles) I don't think everyone will be fond of that."
"And why is that? You told me that I was the first person who saw what laid beneath the covers; the real you. Correct? (Aman nods) So what I have seen these months; the Aman I have seen seems pretty cool to me."
Aman smiled warmly before saying,
"You did that doesn't mean everyone will."
"What will you lose if you try? Or maybe I am just that weirdo who finds everything cool?"
"Oh, no you are not a weirdo!" Aman almost said it instantly after Luvraj.
"No, Luv, you are the person I've met whom everyone needs in their life in every moment of their life."
Luvraj smiles impressively and Aman feels some warmth knocking up at the door to his heart.
Just then Amar came and said,
"Sorry I was so late!"
"It's a mall; not your home to sit in the washroom for hours! Did you want to spend all our bunking time in the washroom only or what?
---
Rokesh and Romit seem to have found the perfect friends for each other. They would do everything together. Sit together in class or canteen, being in the same building; study together, hang out together. The more time they spent together, the closer they get and thus more inseparable. They loved each other's company. The whole first semester of their first year, they spent with each other having a blast.
---
His second year started and Harsh was very infuriated. A year of his junior college passed away like a blink and only one year was remaining of his and his friends' junior college. Next year, his friends might not be together with him. The thought of that made him shudder. But he came to the fact that this was inevitable. Or maybe no one would discontinue and every friend of his would join him to that same college for the degree. Who knows? All he could do now was enjoy this year the most. He accepted this while choosing his clothes.
Deep was instructed to keep everything clean and at its place in the Mehra's residence. Not a single thing was to be misplaced or messed up. He had to be the best. And occasionally cook something up for breakfast. He was given full access to the residence and once he saw that everything was proper, he decided to check up on Harsh's room. What he didn't know was that Harsh was still present in his room. When he saw him looking at his closet, Deep immediately got away. His dad told him not to have the slightest of interaction with him because he could be a little over and a lot. But to Deep, Harsh didn't seem like that in that one millisecond of glace he had of him. He seemed fine and any other kid of his age.
Deep decided to not give it any more thought. It's not like he wanted to introduce himself wearing that loose blue shirt. The shirt had no problem but he just didn't like wearing one. His dad or what he likes to call him: Baap insisted on him wearing one on his first day.
The rest of the day he just kept on doing his work. And when he had no work, he would bore himself to sleep. Mr. Mehra was gone before he arrived. Mrs. Mehra was out the whole day and so was Harsh. The other workers didn't like to talk to him. His own father didn't want to talk.
Around 7 at night, Deep started wandering; exploring Mehra's residence. The entire bungalow was painted with a cream color. But it seemed to have gotten old. In some places, it started to come off. The entire house needed a new color. The Mehras seemed rich, provided they have hired a driver, two maids, and a male plumber for stay-in, and he. The two maids and the plumber seemed well enough and also close and contented which suggested that they have no or didn't have had any issues and that they have been hired for a long time. So what was the reason the whole bungalow seemed off?
The kitchen was updated with every domestic appliance and equipment. The main bedroom which seemed Mr. and Mrs.'s room had a king-sized bed and a huge closet. At one side of it, it had Mr. Mehra's things. Suits, normal clothes, shoes, socks, handkerchiefs, ties, different frames of glasses. On the other side of it, it had all of Mrs. Mehra's things. Saris, suits, normal daily-wear clothes, footwear.
There was a dresser where Mrs. Mehra kept her cosmetics. He opened it and it had the richest products. From hair clips to blush, it had everything. The range of lipsticks she had got him all confused. He noticed there was a bathroom in their room. He went inside and saw two completely different shelves. One had Mr. Mehra's belongings and the other had Mrs. Mehra's. From what he had seen, he concluded that either Mr. and Mrs. Mehra were very neat and liked to not barge into each other's stuff or that they are living a rough life.
He came out of the bathroom and then noticed trophies, certificates, medals, and some pictures on a top-shelf. They seemed dirty. When he came closer to it, he saw names on them. On most, he saw Harshad Mehta and on a very few he saw Sharika Amin. He noticed one side of the bed could see that shelf and the other couldn't. Even they had two nightstands on either side of the bed.
Then suddenly Mrs. Mehra entered the room and saw Deep.
"I am sorry. I was just bored and um--- just started exploring the house…. I didn't want to intrude…" Deep was scared shitless.
"Stop right there. (Deep was silent) We have given you full access to our house so how can you intrude?" She asked calmly.
Deep smiled in relief.
"So what are you looking at?" She asked while coming towards him.
"Um, I was just looking at the trophies."
Mrs. Mehra smiled with an exhale of breath and said while looking at the trophies.
"Oh, yes! The trophies. Most of them are of Harshad, you know."
"Mr. Mehra? (Mrs. Mehra nodded) Oh. And who is Shakira Amin?"
"That's me." Mrs. Mehra said without averting her eyes from the trophies. Deep mentally ohed.
"The reason why they are so above is perhaps they are the only true thing remaining in this house. Above all the grounds of fake. Sometimes I look at them and remember the real reason I became Mrs. Mehra."
Deep felt awkward. It seemed she had forgotten about Deep's presence and was talking to herself. She looked at him and blinked a few times.
"Can you do me a favor, Deep?"
"Yes?"
"When Harsh comes, can you ask Harsh if he is hungry or not when he comes. I believe….(rolls her eyes) I and Harshad believe that he should be in the company of someone from his age. Someone, we know how they are."
"Ma'am, I don't think…." Deep was about to say no staying on being away from Harsh.
"I believe, that you are instructed to do anything we ask, right?"
Deep nodded slowly.
"Good."
Deep was about to leave the room when he turned and saw Mrs. Mehra sitting on that side of the bed where the trophies case was visible and she was removing her earrings.
"Ma'am?"
Mrs. Mehra looked at him.
"When I was climbing up the stairs to the first floor, the maids asked me not to. Why so?"
Mrs. Mehra smiled and said,
"Because no one is allowed to. And we haven't been there for years."
Deep nodded and went.
Deep heard Harsh coming into the house and saw him going straight to his room. After a minute, Deep knocked up at his door. He looked at Deep and for some reason covered up that part of his stomach that was revealed. He seemed embarrassed. Of what, Deep didn't know. Deep asked if he was hungry or not. For a little while, he didn't say a word but when Deep asked him again, he shouted at Deep. He at that instant left.
'Now I see why my dad told me to stay away from him. But he seemed normal at first. Huh…..'
---
The first semester exams were over and Luvraj was happy. His papers went just fine. He knew he would score at least 80%. Which was a great start. He searched for Aman and Amar who both were allotted different classrooms. Amar came out of the classroom and was restless. He was sweating. Luvraj was worried now.
"Hey, is everything okay?"
"Yeah," Amar replied in not an okay manner.
"Your paper went fine?"
"Yes."
"So wh---"
"Listen, Raj, I've gotta go. I have something important to do so see you later."
Before Luvraj could say anything, Amar left and Luvraj couldn't do anything.
Aman came and spooked Luvraj.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, Amar seems disturbed."
"It probably had to do something about his family. Now listen Luv. (Luvraj looks at him) There is something I need to tell you. You're going to your village on this vacation so this can't be delayed anymore. I think the reason why you broke into my shield is that I let you in. Because I think I like you."
"Wha---"
"No, scratch that! I like you."
"Aman, I…"
"Do you like me?"
"I don't know what to say…."
"It's okay. I don't want the answer right now. You have your whole vacation with you to think about it." Aman smiled and left.
---
Jacob and Jayden are inside the club. They have waited for this for so long. A classmate of his made fake IDs of everyone so that they could get through. Thankfully, no one had any problem getting through. They all were dancing to the beats the DJ was playing. Both Jacob and Jayden were having fun dancing together until Keshav asked to join him and his other friends. Within a second Jayden joined him and left Jacob alone.
Jacob was furious and burning in fire. Jayden again laving him for his asshole friends got him angrier than ever.
'He always does this. Keeps me a secret. Am I not what he wants?'
Jacob entered the bathroom and texted Jayden to come immediately. After a while, he did with a sneaky smile.
"Oh, it's just half-hour since we've been here and you already cannot stop yourselves?" He said while coming closer to him. He certainly didn't notice the bittered glare in his eyes.
"Hey but, I am not complaining…" Jayden was about to kiss him but Jacob got away. Jayden instantly realized what this was about.
"Oh, Jacob. Come in!" He shouted in annoyance.
"Do I sense annoyance from you? Funny because no way you are annoyed, are you?"
Jayden kept quiet.
"Annoyed is what I am Jayden, okay?! What am I? Just a toy? Or something even less than that?"
"Why are you saying this?"
"Because you hide me! Every time your friend comes, you act like I am one of your acquaintances or something!"
"Okay, do you know why I hide you? Because you're valuable…"
"Bullshit! (Jayden rolled his eyes in defeat) Okay, bullshit! You hide me because you don't want anyone to know what is going on between us!"
"Well, of course, I am! Because I am scared of this! (Jacob frowns) You know I am afraid of the aftermath of our lives if we come out. I am afraid of sins, I am afraid of hell!"
"Oh, and doing sins in secret cleanses the sins? Or it keeps you away from hell? And do you think I am not afraid of hell?"
"It seems you aren't!"
"I am! I am a lot! But whenever I see you, I see your smile, I just know that it is enough. If I am to go to hell, then I want to spend my life with you. I want to live a life worth being in hell for!"
"Jacob, listen….."
"Maybe this was a mistake because I am nothing to you," Jacob said in a broken voice and that left Jayden speechless. Before he could say anything, Jacob left and Jayden followed him. But he was out of reach.
Jacob decided to never see his face. The bucketful of emotions that he put him through was very hurtful and Jacob was heartbreaking for Jacob. He made up his mind to forget everything between him and Jayden happened when suddenly he heard Jayden's loud noise coming from the stage. He looked at him and he held a mic in his hand. Jayden was very nervous and he was stuttering to say anything. But he saw Jacob looking at him and then all of his nerve gone away.
"This is not okay. This is what I thought I would never do. I um--- I watched this movie, Jerry Maguire, the other day and there was this scene where Jerry was proposing to the heroine in front of her friends. And then I thought, I would never do something like that. I felt no one would be that precious for me to be doing something like this. But here I am. Standing here in front of you. (Jayden starts looking at Jacob only) Because there is this person who believes he is not enough for me. But to be honest, (Jayden exhales deeply) he is enough!"
Everyone either gasped then or started murmuring.
"He is enough for me any day, anytime. I am a fool for him and he doesn't know it. And I didn't too that is until he said something to me that made me believe that if he leaves me away from my life, I will die. I guess what I am saying is that….. I love you Jacob D'souza."
Jacob smiled proudly and so did Jayden.