'Is this for real?'
'I mean he is sitting right here, isn't he?'
'Isn't he?'
'Am I dreaming?'
'Is this supposed to be a dream? Wait.' Riyaz pinches his hand. "OW!!" Ahmed got startled along with some students. The teacher didn't seem to mind this.
'Just great. I just had to do that.'
'At least I am not dreaming. Hehe.'
'Wait according to Inception, you wake up when you fall.'
'So, is it possible I am still dreaming?'
'I don't want to talk to him if this is a dream. I have been fooled too many times of that.'
'But I want to talk to him. He is just here sitting beside me. I should talk to him, right?'
'But does that mean I have to fall?'
Riyaz starts to fall and the next thing he knew, he is on the floor. Everyone was laughing at him including Ahmed.
"You okay, Patel?"
"Yes Sir."
Riyaz sits again.
'I am not dreaming. Yes!'
'Does that mean I should talk to him?'
'Of course, that means I should talk to him.'
'But what should I say to him?'
'Yeah, that! I didn't think of that! Fuck!'
'Hello?'
'No, we're not in school.'
'Hi?'
'Definitely not, we're not friends.'
'Hey?'
"Are you high?" Ahmed asked humorously with a smile while not looking at Riyaz at all and just concentrating on the lecturer.
'He's the one who talked. So audacious. I mean it is not much of audacity but still, it may have taken some courage to come up with that. Like me who was fighting for things to say…..'
'And I didn't reply to him. What was his question, though? I can't remember. Um…'
"Did she leave you or what?" Ahmed humored again in a low voice.
'She?!' Riyaz looked at Ahmed giving a stupid look.
"No, nothing of that sort."
"Then why all the falling and the face?" Ahmed asked still looking at the lecturer.
Riyaz tried to come up with something.
"Umm…. Couldn't sleep well."
"Yeah, um well, same here. What was your reason?"
"Ate something I shouldn't have," Ahmed replied instantly because of which Ahmed finally looked at Riyaz. Ahmed almost not bought it but eventually, he did.
"What was your reason?"
Ahmed widened his brows; looking at Ahmed, gasped and replied, "Did something I shouldn't have."
Riyaz knew he shouldn't be asking this but the curiosity got the better of him. "Was Mehboob….." he couldn't ask anything else when Ahmed gave Riyaz a sharp glance at when he mentioned Mehboob.
Ahmed nodded in surrender and said,
"Yes. Mehboob was blabbing about that."
"It didn't seem just blabbing." Riyaz unconsciously said the thing going on his mind and regretted it that instant as he noticed a frown on Ahmed's face. Riyaz knew he screwed up and that he messed up a chance of being Ahmed's friend.
Both were silent for the rest of the class. Ahmed silent on anger and Riyaz silent on guilt and regret.
The bell rang; indicating the end of the lecture and the lecturer went out. While other students were chatting around with each other; waiting for the next lecturer, Riyaz was wishing for Ahmed to leave him and sit somewhere else so that he could be guilt-free.
Ahmed took a deep breath while avoiding meeting their eyes with Riyaz and smiled. He got up, took his bag with him. Riyaz who thought he would be relieved was sad and a little disappointed. Disappointed that this ended so soon and on this note.
While Riyaz was having a ride in disappointment and regret, he realized he had been nudged by someone. Riyaz turned his head 180 degrees, looked up, and saw Ahmed having a happy face. "Coming?"
"Where?"
Ahmed shrugged his shoulders and said,
"Don't know."
For a second, Riyaz was dumbfounded by Ahmed's question. And after that second, he was point-blank; drowned in his deep sea of thoughts. Some happy; cheery while some so scared and nervous.
"Hello! Are you coming?" Ahmed asked again.
Ahmed broke Riyaz's bubble and found him fumbling. To not make any more fun of himself, Riyaz just nodded, got up, and grabbed his bag.
The entire lecture was worse than hell for Luvraj. After all, Aman just stormed out of the classroom after Luvraj lashed out. Who won't be feeling guilty after this? After ruining your best friend's perfect day, who won't be sad and gloomy? But Amar was going through much worse. To see someone you like to give such a reaction while you are talking was just heart-breaking for Amar. Maybe he was getting his answer but not in the way he expected.
The bell rang and the first lecture of the second semester was finally over. After everything that was going on in his head, he just wanted to rest his head on the bench and think of the world around him which just got darker.
"Luvraj?" The teacher called him out and the whole class got silent for absolutely no reason. Luvraj looked at her with questionable eyes. "Come with me."
'Oh, yes!'
Luvraj got up with his bag and followed her while most of the students just gawked at him. But Harsh still had concerning eyes. Luvraj ignored even looking at Harsh.
Rashmi Miss had her next lecture-free so she sat in the staff room and Luvraj followed her. Coincidentally, the staff room was empty except for them.
"Look Ma'am, there's nothing you need to worry about. Things were going in my mind and I just…."
'What are you talking about?"
Luvraj asked in wonder, "What Ma'am?"
"I called you here so that I could tell you personally that you didn't score well in my subject. The reason why I didn't say this in class is that your teenagers don't take this easily in front of others. And considering your involvement in my class, the marks don't justify that."
Luvraj just nodded. He didn't expect the teacher to call him there just to say he scored badly. He expected her to say something about what he did during attendance.
"You know, studies say you lash out because there's more than enough things going in your head. More like overcapacity." This caught Luvraj off-guard. "And it also says when someone tries to explain without being asked for one, that means that person needs to talk to someone about that." Luvraj is just standing there looking at the teacher with wide eyes. "So, do you want to talk about it?"
Luvraj wanted to say no but there were just so many things going on in his mind that it was hurting. To feel sad, angry, confused, regret all at the same time was more than overwhelming. He could feel his head going warmer than ever. "It's just so much….." Luvraj was barely audible.
"Don't worry. This is a safe space. I am supposed to be a mentor of you guys anyway so if there is anything wrong with you all so you should talk to me. (Luvraj nods) So, what's going on?"
"Something's happened," Luvraj says in an overwhelmed voice.
"I know." Rashmi Ma'am said in a consoling way.
"Our group, you know; me, Amar and Aman, it is on the verge of breaking. I thought we'd at least survive until the end of the second year but this is happening now. This is too soon. And to make matters worse, it is happening because of me."
"You know that the longer you keep this going, the damage will be worse. And as for your group-breaking-too-soon thing, just remember that even the best of groups goes through tough times. Some sooner or some later but they do. And if their bond is strong enough, then it will pass through and nothing will happen to you. But when the bond isn't strong enough, so that friend goes away. Now if we speak about you being the reason for it, then it could've been anyone. Aman or Amar but unfortunately, it's you. We cannot do anything about it so, we should do something about that matters. And soon as I've already said, the longer you avoid this, the consequence would be worse."
Luvraj walking out of the staff room was in a much better position than Luvraj walking in the staff room. The Luvraj walking in was more tangled in emotions while the Luvraj walking out was clear of what he has to do. He has to sort it out.
"Luv!" Luvraj heard a familiar voice calling him out. A voice that he needed to hear.
Luvraj turned and greeted, "Hey Aman."
They both entered an empty classroom. "How are you?" Aman asked.
Luvraj gasped, "How am I? How are you?! You were the one who just, got out of the class!"
Aman looked down to hide his sorry face.
"I am sorry for that, Luv. It's just that I heard you lashing out in class and I knew I was the reason for that. I couldn't handle you being so frustrated because of me. I just wanted to go away from you so that the guilt would stop…"
"It's okay Aman." Luvraj tried to console Aman.
"It's not okay Luv! This was my mistake. I shouldn't have reacted like that in the first place. I just found myself in pain because I thought that I wasn't enough for you and that's why it took so much time for you to come to terms with it."
Luvraj looked at the way Aman was talking and he knew he was meaning every word he was saying.
"I just cannot handle the fact that you and I, we couldn't be you know, one thing and I am so selfish to think of something like this but it is you and I know I want you and you alone more than anything but if you don't feel the same….."
"Yes!" Luvraj spoke out which interrupted Aman.
Aman took a breath sharply and frowned, "Yes?"
Luvraj giggled and took Aman's left hand in his right hand and said with a smile, "You know."
Aman's smile grew wider and wider with every second passing by, his cheeks seemed to blush more and more and the warm feeling inside his stomach grew stronger and stronger. For Aman, he had found his eternal bliss with Luvraj saying yes to his proposal and for some reason, everything seemed to make sense and the world got brighter than usual.
They got out of the classroom with their hands empty; meaning they had lost their hold of each other's hands and walked in the classroom. The lecturer still hadn't come. Aman took his bag from where he was in the previous lecture and whispered to Luvraj, "See you love, Luv." Aman then joined Amar who was still upset but for some other reason in the last bench; their place. Luvraj was about to join them when Harsh interrupted him.
"You okay?"
Luvraj looked at Aman who was talking to Amar and then looked at Harsh; having a smile, "Everything is perfect!"
The next days went as anyone would expect them to go who had any idea of what's going on with their life. But luckily for Rokesh, no one had any idea of what is going on between him and Romit. Romit was no athlete or bodybuilder and Rokesh was the complete opposite. Rokesh had a fine body and he should. For someone who plays every sport; but mostly football and cricket, does exercise daily, and has a healthy diet, Rokesh had the perfect body. That explained the 24/7 thirst Romit had for Rokesh. But nothing made sense as to why Rokesh was so thirsty for Romit's body and his essence 24/7. He was flat like a wall and thin like a feather.
As much as they love this thirst, they also hated it that much. To always think and ogle at each other almost every time; uncontrollably got them in a tough situation. And having an erected dick whenever any one of them sees a drop of sweat making its way from their head; being around the two eyes was something they won't handle well if they get caught. To avoid being caught when having an erect dick and thirsting over each other, they decided to sit beside each other in the last row beside Luvraj, Aman, and Amar. And the reason also was to able to smell each other more.
Unfortunately, Rokesh and Romit weren't able to perform sex because they were being cautious about Rokesh's demand. So, the only time they both could fulfill each other's desire was in the lunch break in the old chemistry lab on the topmost floor of their college where there is hardly anyone. Sometimes they were on the brink of getting caught but they manage it out. The next time would be when the college would be over at the spot where they confronted each other's attraction towards itself for the first time. At the stairs between the terrace and 15th floor. After that, whenever they would feel like it, they would call each other and do it. The most times they had in a day was 7 times. Overnight counts, right? Doing it in the cold at night was their favorite because it was then they would truly acknowledge their warmth. Right now, for both of them was the best time ever.
"Sorry, sir?"
"I said have a seat." Harsh repeated.
"Why sir, have I done something wrong?"
Harsh chuckles and says "No, Deep. Just sit."
Deep quite confused, sits beside Harsh on the bed; making a distance though. "Yes, sir?"
"Oh, please drop the 'sir'! We're the same age, just call me by my name. Harsh."
"Sure, sir?"
"If you keep calling me sir, I will complain to my mom that you weren't listening to me."
Deep didn't take that as a joke and got quite serious, "Okay."
Harsh seemed to sense that and said, "Oh, relax! I was just joking. I am certainly not going to complain about you. Don't you worry about that?"
"Deep then smiled a little and nodded, "Okay Si—Harsh."
Harsh laughed, "That's more like it!" They both chuckled. "So, how many are there in your family?"
"Um---- there's me, ma(mom), baap(dad), Simran, Mithwan, and Amrita."
"So, leaving you, there are 5 people, right? (Deep nods) Right, well good for you!" Harsh smiled on the outside but the inside, he was envious.
"Have I heard something else or you call your dad as baap?"
Deep laughed and nodded.
"Why?"
"Well, I am very filmy. And in films they say these things, right? Like, 'Tu bhi tere baap ki tarah hai. (You are like your father)' Or 'Apni baap ki aulad hai to aa! (If you are your father's son, then come!)' So, I am like my father and I am my father's son too so I call him baap. And besides, he is too fatherly to be called papa and dad. And also, I like calling him baap and he doesn't mind so no worries."
Harsh chuckled and said, "Well lucky for you. If I call your 'the sir' as anything else than dad, then I would be punished." Harsh nervously snickered. Deep noticed how Harsh formed a little frown while looking down.
Harsh felt the air to be tensed so he said, "Well, it's not like I do call him anything else than dad." Deep nodded and so did Harsh.
Harsh knew he had messed this up.
After a minute or two, Deep said, "You are studying commerce, right?"
Harsh looked up with a cheery smile. Not because he had cleared up the air, but because he started talking which meant he wanted to talk to him. If he didn't, then he would've just left.
Harsh nodded, "Yes! (Harsh frowns) But how did you know?"
Deep lost his smile and was fumbling, "Well, um--- I didn't mean to you know, intrude or anything but um--- the other day…. Your mom asked me to clean your room and I did but I um--- saw some of your notes which were just… lying around!"
Harsh shook his shoulder and said, "It's okay Deep! You just did what you were asked to do. I should've been more careful. And besides my rule is old school. No sorries in friendship."
Harsh seemed to notice the frown Deep had made and his mouth open a little.
"What? We're friends right?"
Deep did not answer.
"Right?"
Deep chuckled and said, "Yes, we're friends."
'Faggots!'
'Gays'
'Trans'
'Girls!'
'Butt-lickers!'
'Dick-less!' And other tags were stuck on the Post-it Note on the bench at their place. No one noticed it because they were talking to each other. But maybe they did and some of them didn't care about it while some ignored it.
Jayden nervously snickered and said, "Why would we mind it?"
Jacob felt to join, "Yeah, I mean we were prepared for this kind of stuff, right babe?"
Jacob waited for Jayden to say yes but Jayden was just ogling at the Post-it Notes.
Jacob nudged Jayden and then Jayden got out of his thoughts and said, "What? Yes!"
Jacob said to Harsh, "See Harsh, we aren't bothered by it at all. Don't worry."
Harsh nodded and said, "You guys need help cleaning it?"
Jayden at that instant said, "No! We will take care of it. Thanks for the help, anyway."
"Ok, guys. See you." Harsh said and went.
Now, Jayden and Jacob focused on cleaning their bench.
Jacob while cleaning came across a note and laughed,
"Look! It's written dick-suckers! Well, it's a fact and a great feeling, right?" It was then Jacob looked at Jayden who was staring at one note in particular in his hand. "Jayden?"
"Look," Jayden said in a serious tone and handed over the note to Jacob without even looking at it.
Jacob took it and read it and his face turned to complete despair for a second but he hid it for Jayden.
"Jayjay….."
"You'll rot in hell. (Jacob sighs) It says 'You'll rot in hell.'"
"Jayjay, listen…."
"I bet it was that Muhammad guy, he is very religious, right?" Jayden was going crazy over this.
"Jayjay….."
"What Jayjay? What Jayjay? Jacob, you know how soft topic this is for me. You know this was one of the reasons why I was in the closet. And now when I am out, people are saying this to me, I don't know what to do!"
Jacob took hold of Jayden and faced him and said,
"Jayden, they are trying to get in your head. Listen, don't let them. That's what they want to do. They want us to tear apart. Don't let them win. God made us the way we are. He wants us to be happy so if this is how we are happy, then this is how we will be. And if we are put in hell, then we'll be in hell together. And there is nothing we cannot go through if we are together. So, if we can go through hell, then this is nothing to be hyper all about it. Jayden you have me. There's nothing you need to worry about. And I too have nothing to worry about it because I have you. Jayjay, we got this!"
Jayden was in tears after all this and he nodded with a proud smile, "Yes Jacie, we do."
After this, they hugged each other tightly and thanked God for each other.