Sarah Anderson, Dreamland.
I closed my eyes and wished with all my heart that 'this was just a joke', just a 'sick joke'. "Please let me be resting in my bed when I open my eyes..." I pleaded repeatedly, but, wasn't fortunate enough to be gifted with it. When I reopened my eyes, my whole world, my reality, fell apart once more, like what happens to buildings after a strong earthquake. That nightmare was destined to happen no matter what, no matter what I wished for. I had always been so self-conscious about the times I cried but now, I just noticed it when I felt the hot, salty tears reaching the corner of my lips. I sobbed into my own hands and the tears dripped between my fingers, raining down onto the smooth sand. My breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left my legs. I sank to my knees not caring at all if that woman would see me in that humiliating pose. It was like I was stuck in the same spiral staircase, over and over again. No matter if I went upstairs or downstairs, I would end up coming back to the same spot.
"Hey, you... little goody two shoes--!" A voice reached my ears; it was like a lullaby sang by Sirens to attract the sailors to their decoy and thus, at the bottom of the Ocean. Not wanting to let her see how broken I felt inside, I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and, slowly, raised my head up. Fearing what she might say to me - yes, it was the first time in all the nightmares I had, she talked to me -, I tried to shield myself with something that her words wouldn't show themselves able to penetrate. I knew very well how to keep a decent poker face, all those Easter times, Christmas Eve's and New Year's Eve's spent with Mom and Dad had paid off after all. So, as long as I appeared nonchalant, no pinkness in my cheeks to betray me, everything would be just fine. She took two more steps forward and crouched down. Our eyes locked with each other. Finally, we were 'mano a mano', body to body, face to face. I watched her motionless, without moving a single muscle of my neck and head, as did she. My heart was hammering strongly but I kept my passive and blunt expression with no hint of hesitation. I couldn't let her spot any of my insecurities, she might use them to her own advantage. I had to do things right. Couldn't let myself get lost in the green meadows adorned by golden fascias which were her eyes; I felt like losing control from just only a few minutes I've been staring. "They've got be kidding me... this must be a sick joke." She finally spoke; her words were bitter and disrespectful.
"Wha--...?" I was too dumbfounded to speak. Who did she think she was to address me as a 'sick joke'? She was the one who was making the 'sick joke', appearing in all my dreams and making me feel like trash... She had to go. She had no business being here in my mind, let alone be in my dreams. The dream was mine and I was the only one who was given the permission to be in control of it.
But, before I could 'shoo' her away, she raised up and wandered in circles around me with a hand on her hips and a finger flapping slowly on her pale-pink lips that reminded me of a rosebud. At last, she stopped and smiled at me in a way that never meant good things. "Of course this is a sick joke... just look at you..." She smirked; I could see the amusement of a sudden realization in her eyes. She leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear. Her warm breath against my ear was not the kind that would make you giggle with this but the kind of which it would send a cold shiver down your spine. "He couldn't have never... ever... fallen for you." She mocked. "Why would he leave all of this..." She gracefully and smugly gestured her hand in front of her curvy body. She stood there more beautiful than usual; sure, earlier, I had glimpses of her silhouette and clothing, and she had a pretty aura as well the good looks but, something seemed different now. Maybe it was how the light shone upon her body?"... for that?!" She looked at my body, insinuating that my 'curves' weren't as good shape as hers."You're like a flat board!" I looked down at my figure. Well, that maybe was true and I was nothing comparing to her but, perhaps I was enough? "He must be out of his mind, definitely!" She said with an amused chuckle. "Why would you prefer driving a Fiat when you have a Ferrari at your disposal?"
Her statement made me froze on the spot, anger boiled beneath my skin."Why are you doing this?" I asked with no hesitation, not even in the rearward of my voice. First, she invades my dreams, now she is saying those mean things to me? How can she? How can someone be as mean like her? I looked down at, now, my clenched hands. How could Erik ever have been with her...?
"Why?" She laughs which almost made her seem like a lunatic as she obliged me to look at her again by raising my chin up. "You're messing with my man, so I've to defend what's mine."
"He doesn't belong to anyone!" I decided to be assertive and, quickly sent her bugger to somewhere else. "Get lost already."
Irene's lips twitched, the edges curling into an amused smirk as she stares at me. "Darling, the worst blind is the one who doesn't want to see. You don't know anything about his past, or do you?"
With a flick of a movement, I pulled my chin away from her as my confidence shattered into small pieces. That couldn't be true, right?
"Accept the truth." Her words hovered in the air like super collage residue on the fingertips after craft classes at school. "Why don't you ask him?"
I shook my head once again. It wasn't true! It wasn't true! And, after last night... I refused! IT. WASN'T. TRUE.
She must have known she hit a soft spot as she let another smirk grow on her face. "Why refuse it to be true, darling? You see... I'm just helping a fellow woman." She was painting herself being this so honored savior that was willing to help me and put me out of my own misery when, after all, the only thing she was doing was 'making my bed'. "I was left and so will you. You'll also be left alone, like trash... just like me, darling..."
"No! I won't! H-He wouldn't do it!" I denied everything with all my being. All those things she was telling me, couldn't be farthest from the truth. I knew him. He was not capable of such atrocities, present, or past. I took my hands to my face and covered my ears, not wanting to ear more."This is a dream! A-A nightmare! Everything you're saying is catty! Now I demand you to melt into a puddle and leave me the f*** alone!" I shouted at her and closed my eyes next, demanding for the dream to end once and for all.
The demon girl laughed."It' won't be that easy, deary. This is not a common dream, or a nightmare if you prefer to call it. You can't control this type of dream, and if you try, it's just gonna become worse and worse with every attempt."
"What...?" I raised my head and glared at her. "What do you mean?" I ask, my frustration momentarily replaced by confusion.
"It's quite simple, deary. This is an inflicted dream, only high-level demons, as 'moi', can pull off." She briefly explained. "You can't do a thing besides watching everything from the sidelines. You're like a ghost in your own dream. You've got no control over it. The one's in control here is me!" She bragged about her so-called extraordinary capabilities.
Tears filled my eyes once again. "I want to... wake up... I want... to... wak--... --e up..." I begged sobbing nonstop.
"Silly girl! There's no use in grumbling about it. It ends when I say it does." She growled, grabbing me by my arm and pulling me to my feet. I didn't try to get loose from her grip, I was so tired, I just wanted one goodnight's sleep. Irene, the demon who has been haunting my dreams, released the grip on my arm and pushed me back with disdain. I tumbled on the soft sand with a strong thud. I didn't try to get up and fight back, I just laid there staring at the sky, wishing to wake up. "You will feel the loneliness and the anguish I felt the day he left with a promise of return." She cursed me with every single tooth on her mouth. All that anger feast in her eyes, it was more than evident it has been consuming her over the years."Loneliness will eat you alive, swallowing every ounce of hope you have yet to spare. It will feast upon any happiness you have left, leaving behind an empty carcass. At some point, you will turn out to be full of despair and, the memories you seem to hold dear, won't be able to anymore. It will crave for you to suffer a life without any warm hands embracing you, or any shoulders to go cry upon. All you will feel is it's cold fingertips tracing your soul, getting close to you, yet leaving in the end, abandoning you, once more. For this beast is something you should be afraid of because you have no power over it." She seemed to know very well about what she was talking about; I could almost feel pity for her if I weren't the target of her anger. "So, you will stay here, forever."
My eyes widened at the fate she had drawn for me. "But whatever harm did I do to you for you wishing me that?" I asked, trying to comprehend the motives beyond all of her actions and words.
"You stole something dearly precious to me!" She snapped. "He's mine, not yours by any chance! He's my fiancé, so step back, you little filthy human!" Her high, bitter tone made me shrug. She stepped away, leaving me there to rot under the scorching sun.
I didn't move until her footsteps on the sand ceased to be heard. I rolled over, embracing the sun upfront. Its radiant rays hurt a bit more than before since I was no longer with either the sunglasses I had or the hat; Meh-h... probably they were laying flat somewhere near me on the sand. "Fiancé". That word stuck to me like glue. I took a hand to my forehead to try to cover my eyes from some of the sun rays. I couldn't believe Erik was promised to another woman. A female demon like her... Why didn't he tell me? Were his feelings true? Did he meant every word? Did he truly want to be with me? Or did he just... No! He wouldn't do that! Don't let her affect you, Sarah! It's all false pretenses, I'm sure! Or at least, I hoped they were. I rolled over once again, but this time facing the water. I bet hours and hours passed with me laying there; the sun was already setting. I sighed. Then it hit me. "She said I have no control over it, then, how can I wake up from this nightmare? Can I do something to get out? Sure... But what?" I looked around that lovely and reassuring scenario for a way to escape. It was difficult for me to find one but, eventually, I came up with an idea. I slowly got up, one leg after the other, with the help of my numb arms, and made my way to the shore. I gazed intently at the harmonious, peaceful waves in front of me. "I hope it turns out the way I intend." I said, hoping I would be laying down on the bed in no time. It never occurred to me to actually do what I was preparing to. Drowning myself and commit suicide, so to speak. Honestly, I never felt that way; I've always been so joyful and had so much sparkle in my eye, it never occurred to me. But now, it seems the best option. I just wanted to get rid of this feeling of loneliness and emptiness she inflicts me, even if, maybe, for a few hours; or more, I don't know for sure, I lost track of time. I just didn't want to feel that way for all eternity. I wanted to feel the warmth of another person's hands embracing me, the comforting words from my best friends, and the friendly shoulder to cry on. Who wouldn't want to? Before I could do anything, another question popped up in my mind. Did I really wanted to go back? After all that she said, what if it's all true? What if I was fooled? Deceived? What if I've been living a lie? Where would I end up? Alone either way? I shook those thoughts away and started to head myself to water. Despite being the sun extremely hot, the water was icy cold. I shivered as the waves caressed my toes, soles of my feet, and ankles. "C-Cold..." I muttered. I went further in without looking once back. I had made my mindset, this was the only way. The further I went the more I started to not feel the extremities of my body. As quickly as an arrow hitting its target, the water level reached my neck; my breath became short and pursy due to all the anxiety and adrenaline I was feeling. I knew my body wouldn't try to fight back until the air start to ran out, I just had to control my arms and legs at maximum. And it happened so fast. In just a split of a second, the water became agitated; gigantic waves forming and hitting fiercely on everything that opposed them as obstacles. A storm had settled in somehow. I didn't fight it or tried to swim back to the shore; I was petrified, panic had taken over me. I don't remember the impact, but I remember coming back up for air. I broke the waves up to the surface of the water, gasping for air. Even though my mind had made a decision, my body did not agree with it. I could feel my lungs screaming for air, crying out, as my legs and arms thrashed around wildly, hoping and praying to get to the surface. I knew I had to stop them, hold them still, but it was so hard not to fight, with the air leaving me. I guess it was the survival mechanisms triggered by my own body in an attempt of keeping me alive. Eventually, due to exhaustion, I lost strength in my arms and legs and my body began to sink in. It was like a heavy blanket had been put over my shoulders. I couldn't breathe and it was crushing, devastating, and totally horrifying. I could sense my heartbeat slowing down increasingly so and I felt the panic fade away into numbness. In the last attempt, my body tried to breathe in, but all It got was water filling in. I just wanted an end, so I closed my eyes and let my mind go blank. My limbs didn't feel heavy anymore, I was simply floating away in the dark sapphire water, peacefully actually. My heart began to fail and give up its fight as my body stopped altogether and I... I woke up!
An exasperated gasp exits my mouth as jolted up from the bed. Feeling breathless, I jumped off in a panic - obviously waking up the person who was next to me -, and went direct to the balcony. I swung the glass door to the side and stepped in, supporting the weight of my body on the railing; I fell forward on my knees on the concrete floor. I coughed violently, trying to clear my airway and restore the breathing mechanism. I looked around the room, still in disbelief that it actually worked.
"Princess...?" Erik approached the balcony, carefully, as he didn't understand what was going on.