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Chapter 5 - Fragment 2

Dear Diary:

I thought I was long past my childhood obsession with journaling, but apparently not.

Today, Wednesday March 1, was my first day in college. I think it is good to clarify that I feel disappointed in myself, I thought I would spend my last days enjoying the career I chose, but I let my parents decide for me and now I know that my last moments will be spent as I never wanted; disappointed.

I don't blame them, they are too sad, lost, their pain consumes them. And what can I do but accept your wishes? I need to make this bearable for them, for my brother, for everyone.

But you know what? I feel lost, I never stopped to think about my death and now ... Now that it is around the corner I realize that I do not enjoy my life as much as I would have liked.

Everyone says I'm too young, it breaks their heart to think I'm going to leave, but nobody asks me how I feel ... Why doesn't anyone do it? Why does everyone assume that I have solved it? Why does everyone think I don't mind dying?

But, dear diary: you know the truth.

I just want to feel free, I want to be, before the disease consumes me and ends up devouring me.

Atte: Mia.

Excerpt from Mia Tucker's diary