" Elena....wake up, your mom's on her way to our treehouse and she is pissed at you for not picking up her call when she called you ...oh god Lena? stop staring at me like that and get up right now" Cara shouted at me in a tune that screams " uhh what am I supposed to do with her, she's daydreaming again...probably still sleepy too" Elena thought about her friend and why she was shouting, still in a daze her thoughts drifting to her dream or series of dreams. She thought the dream was very creepy and weird, a little...sad and a bit...dangerous too. Oh, wait!!! did cara say my mother is coming here? oh no....Now I am obviously awake Aarh it's my vacation. Free time for myself. can't she give me a break, it's impossible to get a break from her I swear. she can't leave me be for even little while can she. hmmm, shall I just head back home and act all happy sappy because my mood is not completely ruined at all, note my sarcasm.
But I really hope I can go out tomorrow. yeah, Saturday...date night. I have a boyfriend he's such sweetheart and I am attracted to him and he loves me a lot it seems but I don't know where we are at or going in this relationship, I mean I don't know if we are on the same page, honestly I can tell he's into me but he is going a mile per second and I feel like everything is happening too fast while want to take things at a slow phase and just go with the flow but Ben seems to have such wild ideas, like officially announcing our relationship to our parents and family and marriage and kids.... it's all too fast for me and just too much for me right now. I mean he wants to move in together into a new apartment as soon as my vacation is over. I can't seem to decide whether it's a good thing he's so into me and wanting a life with me or if it's not such a good idea. maybe Ben is going about it too fast or maybe I'm reading into this too much because I tend too that a lot. After all, I am an over-thinker. Benjamin Tealkinson is not the only one with a wild imagination though, I too am. I sometimes wonder if Ben is stalking me. The entity of dilemma and fear is that after my last big failure of a relationship....I haven't been able to precisely connect with anyone or date anyone for that matter. Ben might be different. Maybe I should continue to date Ben and see where we stand, where we end up or maybe I should leave him soon before things get bad because I am scared that history might repeat itself?. It's only 7 am and my mother won't make it to my vacation home till midday. seeing that I have a few hours to clean up and tidy the place I set out to make my bed and then take a long relaxing bath. after spending almost an hour in the washroom I dressed up and went down for breakfast, cara was devouring a burger and nibbling on a french fry while checking her mail. I grabbed my fruit loops and made tea and got some milk to have with fruit loops and some biscuits as well as a loaf of garlic bread. I decided to jot down a poem I put together just a few moments ago while I ate. I started with.... Dear dream. A figment of my dreams, you are precious, voicing my thoughts skim through here plunge there searching for yourself is what drives you, my dear dream,I can't imagine not thinking. nothing beats time alone to think the straight road loneliness struggling out of an egg, no one understands this feeling humans must walk certain roads in a difficult situation, the answer eludes my best efforts wise times, a baby duck , dynasty why failure is inconvenient, inconceivable foolish tragedy, enter the gate for the wicked retribution,no longer human are we, hermit crabs,I want to runway from it all but I need to seek with my own eyes I am not needed by anyone anywhere , I must go somewhere dark for every crime there is a punishment. I am not myself if I'm not perfect society means you, I can't seem to fit anywhere in the world.
By the time I finished my poem I was already done with my breakfast, now I have to clean up and cook before my mother arrives. The thoughts of her coming here...gives me shudders. I end up going to the patio with my cup of tea, I see dark clouds forming around the field surrounding my vacation home. my thoughts drifting towards my life, work, and my family. I maintained a busy city life, I had to get away from that brisk world and I needed an escape from them, my family. It looks like they have found me and they are on their way to ruin my peaceful vacation. which I am spending with my best friend cara Maxwell. The blonde perky tall and tan beauty seems to be lost in her phone to notice that I have done most work around the house and am occupied by the porch. Cara is taller than me nerely by one head, I am just 4 feet tall though I am an adult. yes, you heard me right. I wanted to go on a vacation all alone because I enjoy being by myself but cara insisted to come along with me because she worries about me and knows that I need a friend. let's just say...I have deep scars, hidden traumas and way more emotional baggage that one can handle and no one should go through. And these couple of years has been extremely hard for me. as always, my life is very hectic but the main cause of distress would be my mother. she was a force to reckon with. I can hear my mother's car pull over at the gate and soon enough my sister emerge at the door, looking like the hostile, moody teenage brat she was and then I met my mother's disapproving, disheartened gaze. I could not help looking away from the stare, a sense of terror rose in me. you see, she programmed me into thinking that I should always obey her every command on a whim, I was instructed to always do as I was told by the concept it may not be wrong and it's not as bad it sounds but if you dig deep enough...haven't you noticed when you are being manipulated and lied to and mentally tortured or abused emotionally, physically and mentally at a tender age itself? I....feared my mother. Trying to act bravely as if I was not affected by her since I know I'm not a child anymore, I tried to say something but I just couldn't open my mouth, I froze up and waited for what she wanted to say.
oh no, maybe she's here because she found out about Ben and me ? or this is about something else? oh, I have no idea what I could have done wrong this time though.
she pranced around for a little bit and ogled at the new furniture and the unique interior of the place. After what felt like ages she let out a shrug and granted out a " you did a good job at redecorating this place" it literally wasn't the greatest place before I turned it around, I basically totally transformed this place into an amazing and comfortable place. The cabins floors are made of lead wood, wood planks and the sides facing north a made with Nordic Spruce wood planks, oiled beech wood planks for the front porch and the sundeck with a hot tub. I waited for them to come inside with me and definitely want in the mood for tea or coffee or to relax either. Now...I'm tense.Wishing I get swallowed by the ground or for them to just disappear. My mind was becoming foggy and with a restless heart I headed inside with my family right Infront of me was mom getting inside like a boss as if she owns the world, inspecting everything, i mean... literally every nook and craney and of course commenting on every little thing as she pranced inside.