Adri's POV
"Luke, did Just replied?" I ask my boyfriend while we are sitting side by side inside the lounging area of our building. We often spend our time here whenever the library is full.
"Not yet." He answered without even looking at me.
"Can you just call him? I think it is easier?' I suggested which he immediately oblige. Where the heck is that guy? The three of us agreed to go to school one hour earlier than our normal schedule.
"Cannot be reached." Luke said after a while.
"I’m getting annoyed with your best friend. We all agreed to meet here an hour ahead but he’s nowhere to be found. And worst, we can’t even contact him.” I grumbled.
"He may be on the way. Let’s just wait for him.”
As if we have another choice. Of course, we have to wait for him to arrive.
I looked at my wristwatch. It’s already 9:15 in the morning. Our first class starts at 10:00 am.
I am getting impatient every minute. I want to hear the result. We know he confessed to Janna yesterday. And I am so excited to find out what happened. Ah, Monteverde, where on earth are you? He has—
“He’s here.” Luke announced which made me stop complaining.
And shoot! There he is! Finally!
I was about to go to him when Luke holds my hand. I looked at him. “Let’s just wait for him here. He’ll be here in no time. Relax.” He explained.
And because I am an obedient girlfriend, I obey him.
"Just! How was it? What did Janna say? Did she gave you her permission?” I asked him the moment he is near enough to us but I didn’t hear a response from him. He just looked at me.
"Common dude… what happened?" Luke asked this time.
"Nothing." He briefly replied. What?
"What do you mean by nothing? Can you answer our questions seriously?" I said as I sat beside him.
"Nothing... nothing happened." He listlessly responds.
"Pfft! You are actually that weak! What? Cat got your tongue? Since when? Hahaha." Luke teases him. The lather just gives a dagger look.
"Of course not! Actually, I said it. I said I like her but…”
"But? But what?" I impatiently ask. Hello? I don’t want any kind of interruption when it comes to things like this.
"Nothing. She didn’t say yes. I guess she doesn’t want to." He said, still lethargic.
"She doesn’t want to? Why?" I asked again.
"I don’t know. She just said she’s not ready. She even cried and I thought I did or say anything wrong.” Huh? Janna cried?
"Why? Why did she cry?" I probe more.
"Adri! That’s enough. At this point, it looks like you are a host of some talk show.” Luke commented which made my eyes rolled.
"Shut up!" I frowned then once again divert my full attention to Justin.
"So, why did Janna cried?" I asked again.
"I don’t know. I don’t have any idea why. She also didn’t say any reason why. But I feel like she got hurt in the past and hasn’t healed? I don’t know. I’m lost.” My forehead creased on what Justin said.
"So you are implying that she hasn’t moved on yet? From whom? As far as I know, Janna is still no boyfriend since birth. She had one?”
"That’s just my guess. I don’t know. I thought you are one of her fangirls? How come you didn’t have any idea about that?” He countered, annoyed by my reaction.
"I am. And I know she’s still nbsb. Hmm… I’ll just research again.” She actually had one? Really?
*****
Sammy's POV
"I said I like you. I really like you. And if you will allow me, I want to court you. I want to know you better."
"Janna, I’m willing to wait until you're ready. I’ll wait for you patiently."
These words still linger on my mind. And until now I still don’t know what to do or what to say. I know I already said no but I also know that he will not stop. He is that determined. But I can’t say yes when the truth is I am not ready. Besides, I am scared. I don’t want to get hurt again. If I will give Justin a chance, I will also give him a chance to hurt me. I can’t. Once is enough. I’ll just let myself heal and move on from Allen and then I’m done. I will never let anyone hurt me again. I will never let my guards down again for anyone.
"Sis! Hello? Earth to my sister! Earth to my sister!" I was pulled from my train of thoughts when Yesha gently tap me.
"Huh? What is it? Why?" I asked her which made her rolled her eyes.
"Tss! I knew it! You aren’t paying attention to what I was saying. I hate you." She said then crossed her arms.
"What is it? I’m sorry, I was just thinking about something.” I try to appease her. We just made up from our little fight last night because of our dog and then here we go again.
"Nevermind ate. Don’t mind me. I am too lazy to repeat every word I said.” She said, still pouting. I just shrugged. I’ll just let her be.
"What are you thinking? Do you have a problem?" she asked after a while. She looks like she’s done sulking now.
I looked at her. "Huh? Ah, nothing. It’s just our assignment. It’s kinda hard and complicated.” I reasoned out.
"Ah… you can do it." She said then smiled at me.
Yesha’s right. I can do it!
They are seated side by side when I enter our room. There’s a vacant seat beside Justin. I know they are reserving it for me but I chose to seat in front, away from them. I don’t think I can face him, I don’t know how to. I saw how they all looked at me. I feel so sorry for him because he's a friend. A very good one.
"Why did you seat there?" Adri mouthed.
"I want to understand the lesson." I mouthed back.
"Okay." I know she knows what I am doing. I’m planning on telling what happened to her but just not now.
Our professor came after a while and the lecture started in no time.
"Okay. See you, next meeting class. Dismiss."
I put my things inside my bag as soon as possible. I am doing all that I can to avoid Justin. After what happened yesterday, everything felt awkward between us. Aside from that, I am still embarrassed about how I acted yesterday. He should’ve not seen me cry. I should’ve not cried. I feel like he misinterprets it even if he says otherwise.
I was about to go out when Adri called me.
"Janna!" Ugh!
"Yes?" I smiled awkwardly when I face her.
"Where are you going?" she asked as the three of them come nearer to me.
"Me? Where am I going? Ah… at the library! Right! At the library!" I lied.
"Ah… Can I go with you?" she asked.
It’s bad. If there is one thing that Adri is good at, it’s interrogating people. She will never stop until she finds a way to corner you. But I can’t let that happen. I was planning to avoid them for the whole day. I just want to think.
"You mean all of you?" I asked back.
"Ah… no! It’s just me!" she quickly replied.
"Huh?" Justin and Luke asked her.
"You are going to the hostel, right? You have SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO, RIGHT?" Adri said to the two, trying to emphasize the last five words.
"We do?" Justin asked again with a creased forehead.
And I saw how Adri's eyes roll inwardly.
"Yeah! You have some important things to do! Now go, you can leave us here. Bye!” she said then proceed to push them near the exit.
After the two left, she faces me again.
"So… let’s go to the library?"
"Adri—"
"Please Janna… please…" she pleaded.
But…
"If you really don’t want to, it’s fine... if I am making you uncomfortable, just leave me here. Don’t worry about me, I am okay. I am used to loneliness, with no one to talk to, with no one to—"
"Okay, you can come with me." I conceded. She really knows how to get her way with anyone and anything.
"Thanks, Janna! Leggo!" she happily said then drag me upstairs to the library. *sighed* I really don’t want to go to the library.
"Ahm… Janna, can I ask a question?"
"Sure. What is it?" I replied while my eyes are busy scanning the books. Since we’re already here, might as well read some books.
"Ah… what happened yesterday? I mean, may I know what Justin said to you?" she boldly asks while she’s following me behind. She’s also scanning some books like me.
"Huh? Yesterday?" I ask back, I want to play dumb. I know where this conversation is going. That was the reason why she insisted on going with me. Maybe Justin already told her?
"Yes, yesterday. About what he said to you. I thought he had something important to tell you that’s why he drives you home yesterday?"
"Hmm… it’s nothing. Don’t mind it.” I said then sat to the nearest vacant chair after I chose what I am going to read. She did the same.
"What do you mean nothing? Justin already told it to us. He said you said no? Why? I feel like my effort on getting you guys close had been gone to waste—“ she stopped mid-sentence. She then covered her mouth with her both hands.
Well, I guess she just slipped.
"Tell me Adri, are you involved in Justin's?" I quickly asked.
"Ah… Janna, uhm… sorry." I guess it's a yes. I get it now.
"Why?"
"Because he said he likes you. When he asked for my help, he looked so sincere so I help him. I’m sorry, Janna. I’m really sorry.” I can’t help but let out a sigh. It’s not like I can do anything about it. It’s already been done.
"No, it’s fine. But please this will be the last time?" I said.
"Of course. I promise!"
I just gave her a reassuring smile.
"So, I’m sorry. Forgive me but I really just have to ask why?" she asked after a while. I couldn’t answer her. Should I tell her? The truth? To her? Is she trustworthy enough?
"Ah… Janna, it’s okay. You don’t have to say it. Forget what I asked. I’m sorry." She said when she noticed that I am having second thoughts.
"No. It's okay. I’ll say it." She’s trustworthy, right?
"Really? You know what if you feel like you’re being forced to say it, don’t. It’s really fine with me."
"No. I'm not. But I'm gonna tell you why because I trust you enough okay?" I said then she nodded.
I let out a huge sigh before I started.
"Well, first of all, I say no to him because I'm not ready yet. He already knows it. I'm not yet ready because... because I still haven't moved on."
"OMG! You had a boyfriend?!" she said loudly. Shocked is visible all over her face.
"Ssssh! Low down your voice, we’re in the library." I reprimand her.
"Oh, sorry. So he’s right. You actually had a boyfriend?" she asked again.
"No. I haven't. I can't consider it as one because we didn't have any commitments. And it was all started when we have to pretend. He pretends that he's my suitor because he needs to. We had a deal since we don't have any choice but to go with the flow."
"Wait! Wait! Let me process it first. Pretend? For what?" she query, trying her best to digest what I just said.
"Well, we were misinterpreted by his classmates, it’s a long story. So, we need to play the role. We act like normal teenagers do in the courting stage. No one ever suspected that were just pretending. We were together almost every day. Actually, it did well because we're like cats and dogs before. We always disagree and disapprove of each other’s opinions. But then, because of that incident, we became good friends. We became so close… as in very close actually to the extent that we became dependent on each other.” I continuously said.
"So what happened next?"
"We continue pretending until one day, I woke up feeling odd. I can't act normal when I'm with him. I always tremble whenever he's near. Then the last thing I knew, I'm already fell for him. And the worst part is, I fell without even noticing it."
"And then?" she asked again, she’s being absorbed in my story.
"Then of course it was my first time to felt that way so I don’t know what to do. So I just let it. I go with the flow. Also, I got curious though. And as the days go by, I love him even more. My feelings for him grow bigger as days went by. Well, that was still okay for me but not until the class vacation came. We don’t have a formal goodbye or what so ever. I also never got a chance to say what I really felt towards him. I got scared. I don’t want to be rejected, to be hurt. So I did not dare to say it until we lost contact with each other.” I said as I close my eyes.
"And until now, I still regret the chance that I had. 'WHAT IFs' hunting me. What if I said it to him? I thought it’s better not to say it but I thought wrong. Because either way, I will surely get hurt. But yeah, what has happened, already happened. Besides, it's only a ONE-SIDED so… yeah." I said again as a tear fell from my eyes.
"Aw… one-sided. Sorry, Janna. I feel bad asking about it.”
"No, it’s fine." I said then wipe the tears away on my face.
"I’m really sorry, Janna… but may I know who? I got curious. I’m sorry." She said; avoiding eye contact with me.
I smile bitterly when I say his name… "Allen… it was Allen."
"OMG! OMG! Allen? As in John Allen Monteclaro?!" I just nodded. "GOSH! The whole EastWest high has a huge crush on him. But I feel like he also likes you. You know, you are likable." She then smiled at me sweetly.
"Really? I don't think so…" I said then shook my head. "Let’s go. It’s almost time for our next class.” I said then I rose to my feet and return the books I chose before I leave. Adri did the same.
“But I feel like he also likes you. You know, you are likable."
He also likes me? He feels the same? I don't think so, really. That's impossible. What we did was just a plain pretending… nothing more, nothing less. We just had a game. And in that I game, I lose… because I fell.
*****