She makes me shiver without warning and when she tickles me, I laugh as if she's made of jokes. I still never understood why she never ran after me that fateful night. I'd wanted her to chase me screaming and be that drama queen she's always been deep down and she knows it. I felt butterflies as I was thumping my feet down the driveway slamming the car door to add to the effect. I saw the way she stared unbelievably as I revved the engine, bit a word came from her cute lips. My heart sank shuttering my ego.
My subconscious was scornfully reminding me that it was alright to die because it was the only thing I hadn't tried. So I decided to live life like I had given up, left my hairs untamed and eyes so wild and reddening by the second, sadness hovering like a dark cloud above my head as a reminder to my loss and inability to keep her. If I blink again I'll sink because I haven't learnt how to swim. And away I sink into the abyss of my emotions. I'm captain of this sinking ship that is my love life.
Those eyes, lips and cheeks that I so desperately crave for, my mind is with her but my heart wasn't. Everyone said we'd last forever, and it doesn't settle well with me that the chances of working it out are slim and she may never look at me the same way again. Maybe be now I can give myself up.
In the end she'll say she loves me but I have to be strong enough to hear it because another like me would have taken my place in her heart though I will still be there like a scar, live like my heart isn't broken. Now I can say just anything to make her stay, but I want it to come from deep inside, honestly.
I still want to be the sun that shines in her world in the morning when she wakes up and land on her face warmly. Her words still dancing in my head, "... tomorrow, same time?"
"Wake up love, your high-school mate is in the living room waiting already." I shot my eyes open when I heard her footsteps approaching the bed. She was clad in my Nike shorts and what was that on her head? She got jokes, she had a head wrap. This is new.
" I made you both breakfast" I pulled her onto the bed and landed on my chest with a soft thud and feigned a cough.
"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" I asked muzzling on her ear lobes, she chuckled and pushed away slowly.
"Aren't you supposed to be in the shower?" She fired back and kissed my cheek. "Up!" She commanded shoving the duvet away
"Yes I'm up" I said my eyes still lazy and heavy with sleep. Charlotte was already gone by the time I finished dressing up. I was yawning when she flew the door open and halted mid action.
"You startled me!" I lurched at her jokingly and she curled herself on my chest in a tight embrace. "Let's go baby, shall we?"
This Saturday, Charlotte's friend was my mate's girlfriend, but of course I just learnt that because no one told me. But as long as I have Charlotte, I could care less about other things.
This was a friendly nature walk in the broad daylight, warm and slow. I love this day already. The guy and his girlfriend were ready.
"Glad you could make it" I said shaking his firm hand compared to his girl's soft hands and she replied with a simple hey and a wide smile. She seemed to be in good spirits though, something wasn't just right about her.
A field excursion, we were packed with bottles of water, and dishes? This was more or less a picnic than an excursion. I was happy to see her happy.
"Scoot a little closer." She was instructing, as I smiled, I looked at her and she was busy tying her hair in a pony tail at the back of her head.
The drive wasn't long, we took a left off the main road and followed the dirt road, sides of the road was bushy and green and satisfying to look at.
In the vast expanse of the bushes and rocky country stood before us until the end of this cliff some yards away from where we were standing. Tough grass and short, short trees hardly taller than me dorned the land.
It was nearly mid day. The sun was overhead and scorching hot, our feet dusty from walking, hats on our head to insulate against the blazing heat.
" We'll have our drinks there" Muffin was unusually happy today, she was pointing at a large tree with a wide shade.
***
That day was eventful since Muffin was our guide. Such memories make me sad somehow. We would be meeting in a few and I had taken a shower hurriedly, thoughts were making it difficult
***
Memories flood my big empty head in the warm afternoon thinking how stupid I had been months ago when I never did anything, to salvage the situation back then. I wish I had seen the tectonic consequences coming in the future. Maybe today I have a chance to redeem myself, she seems deep rooted in her career I doubt I might be a reason strong enough to let me back into I her life. I will do all I can not to lose her again. I have suffered, made myself weak and was consumed by my own self loathing.
I was from the bathroom, my heart beating mercilessly and thoughts struggling to be clear to me, all details sketchy. But one thing for sure, I might bring her back to this new apartment, show her that I was Mark timing, I had made a progress, my new book was highlighted in an article and it was a huge win. I want to come back with her in my arms, make her new recipes I learnt, play her my Playlist, rearranged version. I know how much she wants me too. We have to end this agony, all the bad blood tucked away.
It's time I sober up and act like the adult I am, I'm pushing myself to be the best version of myself, no more campus culture, I have settled on my making my life straighten out like her fully blown career as a runway model, I love her spirit, her life is figured out, mine is in bits I'm trying to glue together. She is the missing, this life is only liveable with her in it. Time was gliding slower than a jammed Wi-Fi. It was 3pm,hot as if it was mid-day,
I didn't want to ruin the mood with sophisticated clothing, I had converse shoe on, for effect, and my bike was out, I decided to go on a free ride before 6pm because inside the house it was getting lonelier by the second. My head needed to clear, the kind of thing she'd tell me to do. I'm envious of the way shes happy without me or maybe she got someone keeping her busy. Wish I could figure out what's on her mind. She painted me with love I could never give myself, now I'm faded without to paint me again. I want her lips in mine, her head on my chest as we chase the night with wine watching the second season of Love Alarm. I hope I won't turn out as Sun Oh.
Tonight is the night I right my wrongs, castigate all misdemeanours and bad spirits. She will be mine again, I just Hooe she hasn't tucked our love away. I will reignite her once more.
It was almost five pm now as I was staring at the evening's glow far beyond the cliff. The wind was peaceful, I smiled at myself thinking myself happier, just a thought of her brings me to good spirits. I have faith in jwr because she is, my gospel and I have never lost hope.
My time was coming, I jumped on my bike after mouthing a single word prayer. I was okay now that I know I was going to meet her. Explain all the madness, I still haven't figure out what to say. After tonight, she fall back in love with me and I won't do anything to endanger her life again. I was remorseful enough, no more tears for a fully grown man, tears are for losers anyway. Tears won't bring her back.
1755hrs, I was at the reception to confirm the reservation I had placed earlier today. I trailed the waitress to a table further down the Isle, a well candle lit table Was waiting for us. My heart palpitated more and got excited when I spotted a dark Benz pulling up. It was early, I glanced at my watch, 1759, Guinness time, haha, funny thought. She emerged from the back door opened for her by the hotel attendant outside, I noticed her red lips, red dress reaching her mid thighs, she held her head up and walked in exactly 6pm. A timekeeper.
She walked with measured steps, her purse on her left hand, coming towards our table behind a well groomed waiter, she saw me from a distance and a smile spread on her lips. My throat was full, I swallowed hard as my eyes raked her body, she was stunning.
I stood up feeling underdressed, my jeans and black t-shirt, but it didn't matter as long as she came. We have this unspoken understanding between us that I fail to understand how she is so calm. I hugged her and pulled her chair for her.
"We are ready to order" she smiled at the waiter and took the menu from him. She surprisingly ordered for both of us.
GREETINGS!!
Hope y'all enjoying the story well there might be twists in the coming chapters, stay tuned....recommend this story to your friends too, I'd really appreciate. Thanks