It is has been days since my breakup with Cavin. A part of me is grieving, a part of me is sad. I peeked on my Instagram account, I was amazed to see Cavin beaming with a woman next to him with a caption ONCE AGAIN YOU SAVED ME. I wonder from what, from me? They looked close and intimate, their eyes sparkled with a new passion. Why am I jealous? I made a decision, and I must sick it up and be happy for him. It is obvious that he wasn't going to mop around forever, he had to move on. But so easy like that? It feels like he was waiting for this moment and I have set him free like he was a caged bird. I let out a quiet sigh.
"Deya!" I hear Shirley's voice echoes in my distant mind.
"Huh?" I release myself from my intense thoughts and start arranging the papers in front of us on the table.
"Trouble in paradise?" Linda asks with a concerned gaze.
"That would suck, you guys are not even a month old. That would really suck a lot" Shirley displays a dejected expression. I shake my head at her reaction.
"Oh no. We are fine. I am just going through something" Deya explains her sudden troubled look
"Are you sure? You can tell. I mean no matter how rich Musa might be, we are all the way team Deya" Linda tries to assure me with a wide grin.
"Musa is not rich, his parents are. At least his brothers are" Shirley scoffs
"Okay. Can we stop talking about Musa and his financial status? It's not one of my worries. I care less about his money" I let out a rocked smile. I hope they let it go. I hate talking about Musa's financial status, it's not what attracted me to him. It was him, his eyes, his behaviour, his openness to me.
"Again! Spill it out" Shirley snaps. I gawk at her in confusion. I know I am losing my grip on staying present, but there's something that is troubling her.
"I think you are the one who is not fine" I gawk at her fixating on her. Linda scans Shirley and shrugs.
"Can we focus on the assignment?" Shirley abruptly pulls a sombre face and starts typing on her laptop. We glance at her reaction waiting for a word from her, but a realisation dawned on us that we are not going to get an explanation, we might as well start working on the assignment while waiting for our next class.
*
"Bye guys! See ya tomorrow "Linda waves while climbing the off-campus bus.
Today our Psychology of Education class was cancelled again. They are still trying to find a suitable lecturer for our class. Ugh! They are not being considerate at all. But on the other side, it gives free time to lazy around and for Linda to be able to catch her bus to her residence.
Shirley and I watch Linda's bus disappear by the road while we stand rooted by the cafeteria Lapa. Now it's just us, I guess we could hang a little longer while I wait for the time to pass by. Ever since that night, I talked with Musa, Musa has visited his home to deal with the baby issue. I had hoped to have a glimpse of him here on campus, but my heart had shrunk when he had said that he won't be attending classes for a while till his family deals with the baby issue, they are trying to contain the problem to avoid their family laundry being exposed to the public. Judging from how my friends speak about his family, it is apparent that he is from a prestigious family and they must keep up with that status, always.
"Uhm...Are you okay Deya? You are so deep in thoughts" Her voice was calm. For the first, her voice was not intense but rather soft and smooth.
"I am okay. But you look gloomy" I gaze at her.
"Uhm...There's a situation at home. My mom is feeling sick again, and this time around, she's bedridden" Her eyes reddened a little with tears.
"I am sorry Shirley" I bit my inner lower lip, scratching my head for ideas on how I could help.
"The allowance I got, I had to send it all home so she can buy some meds to treat her illness you know. Now I am broke like we received nothing. I got nothing" She glances at the ground and sniff back the tears to avoid catching the eyes of the crowd.
"We can share my sbux voucher. I will be receiving money from home, so…I will manage" I let out a persuading smile. Her eyes glimpse a sparkle of joy. She hugs me.
"Thank you. I will really appreciate that Deya. I will make it up for you" She raises her pinky finger. I cross it and smile.
"There's no need. That's what friends are for, to help each other" I smile
"Thanks, Deya" She tears a warm smile.
"Let's go to town, I was thinking of picking up some essentials at Shoprite. I think it is a better day to shop before spend it on KFC and Univen cafeteria takeaways " We both smile and lead our way away from the cafeteria.
After passing the main gate of Univen and leading for the town. I hear a sound of a car horn hooting at us. We fixate our focus on the pedestrian road, avoiding side contacts. These car drivers can be attention-seeking and annoying, they are always thinking that every student is looking for a blesser.
"Deya!" I turn around to seek the voice calling my name. The voice is coming from the silver polo sedan car. We warily stop where the car has suddenly parked by the pedestrian route. The car window pulls down exposing the person on the passenger seat.
"Deya" His face appears by the passenger's seat. He didn't mention anything to me about him visiting campus. My face becomes gloomy, but I try to conceal it by smiling it off.
"Hey" I display a wide smile. He raises his right eyebrow and creases his forehead. He read my face. I thought I did my best at concealing my disappointment.
"Not happy to see me?" He asks with gloomy eyes. Come on! He must not do that to me, especially in front of my friend.
"I am happy. Can I get a lift to town? I am not comfortable with us speaking here, where any car could accidentally hit you" I glance at him with a concerned gaze. His lips tear a big warm smile and his eyes lit up. He turns to the driver and he nod at me to direct me to get in the car. I open the car door and my friend tries to hold back but I drag her to get inside the car. We are going to town and there's no way she's going to walk while I get a car ride to town, that's craziness.
"Hey little Deya" I shift my gaze to the driver's seat and Thami was driving the car. Shirley nudges my leg.
"Hey" I greet shyly. Should I call him a brother or by his name?
"Where are you going?" He maintains his friendly voice.
"We are going to Shoprite" I try my best to contain my shyness. I am not yet used to him being around me.
"Is this your new friend…." Musa's wait eagerly to finish his sentence.
"Shirley" I finish his sentence.
"Hi, Shirley. Pleased to meet you. I am Musa" He glances at the road. I was expecting him to at least glance her way.
"Hi. Pleased to meet you too former Mr Univen" She smiles widely.
Okay…Surprisingly my friends seem to know more about my boyfriend
"Oh, so you were part of the fan base. I thought you were a fresher" he sounds a little bit shaken, was it supposed to be a secret.
"Oh no, my sister was, she would tell me all about you since she got so lucky and live next to you" her gaze wanders to the window as she could feel that she has let out more than she should have. I see her body cling to the door side.
"What is her name? Maybe I could give her my signature" His lips form a grin, his brother chuckles
"Mr Famous huh" They both chuckle
"Funi" her voice was soft and quiet. I bet she is feeling bad for talking too much…wait, who?
"Funi Matodzi." Musa's jaw drop. He laughs at the realisation. He seems relaxed about the idea. "Did she tell you everything? Oh, I am in deep shit. Don't tell everything to my lover here okay" His voice sounded worried but calm. There's more to the story than the sight of the surface. He glanced at me and caught me throwing a cold gaze at him, his eyes widen then transform into a soft loving gaze. As I take a peek into his eyes, I could see a little bit of sadness lingering like shadows in his eyes. Pain pierces my heart. I have a sense that I am going to hear bad news, I hope it's not a breakup.
"We have arrived"
I hear Thami's voice in a distant memory.
"Uhm…lovebirds can we get out before you kiss in my car. Stop staring at each other through angles and mirrors" I shamefully release Musa from the gaze and step out of the car. The car engine had died when we step out of the car. Are they here for shopping too?
I glance at them as they converse about something and wait for him to approach my side, and give his goodbyes because I know that today he won't be coming back. I feel the touch of his hand on my hand, I lift my gaze. His eyes peer into mine, for a moment, the world stop and all my body craved to do was hold him close to me, embrace him and let our lips lift us to heaven. I feel the warmth of his hand on my hand. He feels the same way as I do. It's like we have been shot struck by lightning and our bodies are incapable of moving.
I feel a harsh release of Musa's hand from my hand. I look up and meet Thami's gaze and my eyes shy away with embarrassment. Did we stay close to each other that long?
"Uhm...I will see you later tonight" Musa finally earn courage and let the words out with a vibrating deep voice. My heart melts as his voice ring in my ears. Awww! He's excited too. At least I won't be the only one wondering with a damp underwear. My lips form a small smile showing a few of my front teeth, which then dilated into a wide smile.
"Okay" I wink at him and maintain my smile as I turn my back on him, and walk away with Shirley, and head for Shoprite. I can feel his gaze still glued to me. My cheeks feel warm, the smile turns flat, but my cheeks are flustered and warm. That boy, if it ain't love, then I don't know what it is, but I am going gaga over him.
*
We walk out of Shoprite holding our food groceries with plastic bags. We have spent the whole sbux food voucher so that it did be easy for us to buy enough food for two. As we struggle with our plastic bags walking past the pep store, my phone rings. I place the plastic bags on the ground and surprisingly Musa was the one calling me.
"Hello"
"Let us help you with those bags"
"Where are you?"
"Next to KFC"
I turn my head and glimpse his faraway image. I call out my friend who is in a little bit of distance.
"We have got ourselves a lift" I wink at her.
"Mr can't bear letting his girlfriend carry heavy plastic bags huh" she teased. I let out a soft chuckle and shrug off my shoulders. She follows my lead to the car.
"Surprise! I am officially your bolt driver. Where am I dropping you next?" Thami takes the plastic bags away from me and places them in the car boot.
"Let us drop her friend first. Where do you stay?" Musa glance at Shirley who was following me as I lead my way into the car.
"Golgotha, next to Jerusalem" she answers with a shrinking voice. There's something about Shirley how she behaves around Musa, she holds him with high regard, showing some ultimate respect; but when we are alone she drags him. I wonder why these two sides of her? I shake my head shrugging off this weird nagging feeling in my chest. She's my friend, why should I doubt her friendliness towards my boyfriend.
"Here we are. It was nice meeting you Shirley" I hear the sound of the boot closes. Ugh! Did I lose myself in my mind again?
"Bye Deya!" She waves.
"Bye, see you tomorrow!" I try to snap myself out of the trance I have gotten myself immersed into my mind again.
The car warms the engine and drives off into the main road. I see the car head for the traffic lights. I sit there looking unbothered and calm while inside I am screaming. Wtf! Where are we going? Not another unexpected night gateway, I have an assignment that I have to work on.
*
We step onto the green lawn and facing a nice contemporary mortgage house. It had a newness feel to it. Thami opens the front door and we follow his lead. He places the keys on the black leather three-person sofa.
"I am just going to skit out and let you guys soak in my old home" He smirks and show himself out. I roll my eyes. Thami is sure a character. He seems like a sombre person but he is rather a friendly and approachable person.
I scrutinise the lounge room, it has a fresh scent and feels to it. The room looks clean. I feel warmth engulf my body and small kisses on my neck.
"You are awful quiet, what's bothering you?" His voice is soft and soothing, it is sending chills to my body. I smile.
"I am just surprised that Shirley seems to know so much about you, and I don't…" I mumble the words out.
"Uh baby is jealous, that's cute" He lets me go and held my hand to the sofa. He rests his body and pulls mine to rest my head on his chest. "Don't fret, I am only yours. Don't let rumours get to you" he tries to assure me.
"But what if the rumours are true…" I ask him warily.
"Then let me clarify you" His body is relaxed and his voice is calm and unaffected by what I am saying. How is he calm? Maybe there's nothing I should worry myself about.
"So…this is my temporary home away from home. I have moved out from the residence" He caresses my arm. I let out a sly smile. This news brings joy to my heart. There will be some distance between Lala and him. What if….He moved out because of her. It has two bedrooms, one master and a guest bedroom. What if it's for the baby? My body tenses up with pain. The baby is his. Oh, dear Lord, I am going to be a stepmother.
"You are tense today. I guess I should go straight to the point" He gasps for air. " We did the DNA test and the results came back positive. The baby is mine" I try to lift my body but he holds me still. I let the news sink in. I have so many questions, but I need to assure him first that we can go through this together.
"I am here for you"
He leans his head and places a peck on my forehead. He rests his body and we melt into each other's embrace.