"No..No.. No...Please don't kill me..leave me alone" I sobbed as I tossed on the bed.
"Wake up..wake up" I heard a familiar voice say before I opened my eyes slightly. I was panting and sweating when I woke. "Stay away from me..you bastard.....don't kill me" I sobbed.
"Help.. help" I screamed.
"Siso..it's me" She said with worry in her voice. I rubbed my eyes and stared at her strangely. My eyes were blur. Slowly my eyes made way for me to see. "Hannah" I mumbled weakly. She hugged me tightly and I smiled weakly. Her eyes were glossy when she pulled me from the hug.
"Where am I?"
"Home" She was sobbing again. I realized that my mom and dad were here as well. "Mom..dad" I wanted to shriek but my voice came out as a whisper. My mom cried as she hugged me. After an hour of something like family reunion, I felt relieved.
"Johnny is here to see you" Hannah said in a low voice like she was afraid that I wouldn't allow it. I rather nodded eagerly. As shocked as she was..she quickly nodded back thinking that I would change my mind.
"I'll leave you two.." She went outside and he came inside.
"Hey" He held out a bunch of rose and lilies to me. I inhaled the sweet comforting scent of the flowers.
"Smells good"
"Really?" His eyes lit up with hope. He probably thought I would ignore him like always. I hugged my legs and rested my head on them. I beckoned him to sit by me which he did...not forgetting the shock on his face. I chuckled lightly.
"How did you find me?" I asked without looking at him. The atmosphere was awkward but I ignored it.
"I..uhm.." He sighed. He looked lost for words.
"How did you know that I was the one who found you. I told Hannah not to tell you" His voice was so calm..slowly healing my internal wounds.
"I knew you saved me" *Silence*.....
What an awkward moment. I crossed my legs.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you" I finally blurted out. I widened my eyes and gulped. Maybe, he didn't even like me again so why did I say it. In my horrible dreams, Johnny's face was the only thing that seemed to calm me.
"I..I..I mean..." It was my turn to sigh now. I expected him to say he didn't like me again but instead he cupped my cheeks and smiled at me. He was so adorable. His eyes were glossy and I couldn't help but sob. He hugged me and after some silence grievance, he spoke.
"I still love you, I will always do" He answered my thoughts completely...
"I don't deserve you" I managed to say.
"You do..more than anything" He was looking into my eyes. I mean..look at me.. sitting on my bed with crossed legs, scattered hair...no make-up..and also in only my pyjamas. God..and he saw nothing wrong with it. I shook my head.
"What about him?" His face fell.
"Not what you think, I'm over him" I cleared away his fears. He sighed in relief.
"He's..dead" He closed his eyes tightly at the last word.
"Oh" was all I could manage to say. I felt so stupid when I saw him looking at me like a ghost. Soon, I felt my cheeks go hot with tears. How many times am I going to cry?
"That bastard, I hated him...he shouldn't have died.." I said through my sobs.
"I know, I know" Johnny came over and hugged me. I returned the hug and sobbed in his shoulder. I shouldn't even cry for him? I quickly wiped my tears and pulled out from the hug.
"How did you find me?" I repeated looking at him straight in the eyes.
"It happened...to my sister too" He said and looked away.
"I'm sorry"
"No, you shouldn't...I feel so pathetic..don't I?" He said and wiped his eyes.I shook my head but it only resulted with his body shaking as he sobbed. I hugged him and it was his turn to sob in my shoulders. The same thing had happened to his sister. I couldn't help but cry with him. After some moments of crying, he told me it was time to leave. I nodded weakly. I felt like half of me was gone as soon as he left the room. I held my head. My head ached me so much. Arvin had died from suicide. He would rather die than to surrender to the police so he killed himself by jumping from the very building that I was supposed to die from. I managed to force myself to sleep after doing a lot of thinking and trying to get rid of the times I spent with Arvin.
~~
(Some weeks later)
I stepped into the shower and shivered. The water was cold and I was grateful. Time to get rid of every shit I had gone through. I scrubbed my skin harder with my sponge as I remembered how I stumbled over a dead body, how I had blood all over my face. I winced. My headache returned and goose pimples took over my body. I was shivering so much. You can do this Jessy..you can do this. I encouraged myself as I breathed in and out rapidly.
~~
I stepped out of my dad's old Nissan Versa. I gulped as I looked around me. Johnny held my hand with an assuring look. He had come to wait for me at my house. It's been two weeks since I stayed at home and we would be writing our exams soon so I needed to catch up. Despite everything I've been going through, Matilda has been still avoiding me. I walked to my class and sat at my usual position. Things were different now. I wouldn't be seeing the boy who sat in front of me with his back towards me. I wouldn't have a best friend to talk to. I only had a guy with green eyes who decided to sit by me today. I sighed but decided not to cry. Whatever was the reason why Mati was avoiding me, I just won't care again. She's living her life without me..I can live mine too without her. Period!.
~~
After decades, school ended. The thought of going back to the parking lot made me cringe. I gulped as I hoisted my bag over my shoulder. I had acted numb the whole day and I had ignored Matilda who tried to steal a glance at me every second..now and then. I walked alone to the parking lot and my heart was beating rapidly. As I took a step..I couldn't help but imagine what I would do. I would probably ran from there like a mad person. I closed my eyes to drown the imagination. My headache returned. Fortunately for me, Johnny and my dad were waiting for me already. I felt touched again. I sat at the back seat and gulped. Something I've been doing so much these days. I closed my eyes only to drift into sleep.
~~
"I can't believe it's been two weeks again already, which means it's been a month...." I shrieked.
"Yes, me too" Hannah added.
"I'm glad I endured this.. trauma..with you all supporting me..thanks" I looked down as a tear escaped from my eyes. Johnny frowned slightly and wiped it.
"That's enough" He said and smiled when I smiled. I needed to get my mind prepared for my final exams anyway.
"I'm nervous" I suddenly said and we burst into laughter. .
"Me too" Johnny said and I smirked at him.
~~
"That's she...she's here" Mati shrieked drawing more attention to herself. She pulled Duke along with her as they came towards us. It was obvious they've been waiting for long.
"Sorry girl"
"Oh come on.. it's ok really, I missed you so much" She patted me on my back. Matilda had only been avoiding me to give me space and she was now with Duke. I smiled at her and she smiled back.
"Hey dude" Duke greeted Johnny as the two boys walked away with their conversation. Everything was so peaceful here.
"I need to give you something" I said and removed my bag. I carefully took the box that my parents gave me for my birthday present. I handed it to her as she looked at me in confusion. She carefully opened the box. She looked at me and at the box. She rubbed her eyes and looked at it again. She blinked and gulped. She looked at me again and I nodded at her.
"You got this...you managed..you..I.." She stammered. I giggled at her before I opened my arms for her to bump into me violently. I hugged her tightly. She was sobbing.
"That's enough..that's enough" I groaned and she sniffed before pulling out of my hug..her gray eyes shining. I was proud of myself. I managed to get my best friend..the phone she couldn't get for herself, her 'dream phone'. Her phone was spoilt and she wouldn't stop blabbering about her dream to get a new classic phone...an expensive one too.
"Thank...."
"No" I said in a commanding tone. She pulled her chest in in a dramatic way.
"Ok, Madam" She joked and I smirked.
"Did you hear of Angela and Trevor" She gasped dramatically when I shook my head. I rolled my eyes as she continued with her gossip. She was changing the awkward atmosphere. "Smart ass"
~~
This was the last but one paper then we're going to complete high school. "Yaay" My subconscious jumped around happily. I opened my locker only to find beautiful posters of Good luck. I knew who did it. I went to the class and walked towards him.
"Johnny, you did this for me?"I asked as I pulled him outside. He nodded shyly. He was a bit shy despite being brave and I got so lucky that such a boy loved me. I remembered Hannah's words.
"I can't afford to lose you" I said sweetly and kissed him lightly on his lips. He gaped at me as his green eyes gleamed. I nodded and walked away. It was time. I entered the examination hall. I was late though. The teacher handed my paper to me as I sat. I was at the front column. I smiled as thoughts flooded through my head.
"Perhaps, It all had to happen anyway" I said and focused on my paper.
Hello, my babies... Thank you all...even the ghost readers for your votes and comments. We finally finished this... ILY all and don't feel shy to tell me about my typing mistakes or any other thing about this book. Watch out for my new book. May your dreams come true 💙