MATTHEW'S POV
As I stared at nothingness, Ashley decided to slap my arm to gain my attention. "Hey, what's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost."
'Yeah, I might have. Although, this one might be scarier and more dangerous.'
I opened my mouth to tell her what happened, but I couldn't form words, much less say it. The librarian impacted me speechless and triggered all the negative emotions. If the sudden energy from the race still left me baffled, then this situation wasn't helping.
'Is something wrong with me today? Or is nature playing pranks on me?'
Not even an hour passed since an unknown event has happened, another one occurred again. I longed for a day where everything was normal and no peculiar thing would mess with my mind.
"Hey! Answer me, would you?" Ashley, with an irritated tone of voice, slapped me on the arm once more.
"Huh, what?" Those were the only words I could let out, regardless of the whole explanation I owed her.
"You're turning pale! Just what is going on with you?" She asked, impatient to get an answer from me.
"I-I... Didn't you see the librarian just now?"
"The librarian?" She repeated. "No, I don't think I've seen her. Why?"
I wanted to tell her what I've experienced and heard, but I didn't have the voice to do so. I also didn't know how to make it like I wasn't mental. But, to Ashley, I probably already was.
"It's nothing, then." I waved it off, not wanting to bestow any more stress on an elite. "She... I think I'm just tired from gym class."
She blinked at me, contemplating whether she accepted that as a good reason for spacing out. "Hm, I see. Speaking of gym class..."
She pinched my jacket by the sleeve, the one where the signature was. "It seems you've won, correct?"
I nodded and smiled. "I did. But I almost didn't." I recalled the strange energy that allowed me to win. "It was a close fight."
"You still won in the end, though." She said. "Not bad, Martinez."
"Yeah... Thanks." It wasn't much, but that was Ashley's way of congratulating someone. I knew that by now. "What about you? How was math class?"
She huffed and puffed her chest proudly. "I won, of course. The teacher gave me this puzzle game designed to test your brain. I left it at the elite building."
"That's nice. Congrats!"
"Yes, it is. Anyway..." She looked at me straight in the eyes. "You said you had a question? That's why I agreed to meet you here."
I got my question ready earlier, but with what happened with the librarian, I lost the courage to say it. So, I stood there like an idiot, racking my mind in what to say.
'Ashley would be angry if I just wasted her time going all the way here.'
And that made me frightened - frightened enough to force out the question.
'Can... Let's say... Uh..." I saw Ashley's eye twitched as I stuttered.
"Speak up! I can't understand you."
"Does... a part of your body hurt when... You feel like you're... Being controlled...?"
There, I said it. I finally said it. I was now bracing for Ashley's reaction.
She blinked, not moving an inch. She squinted her eyes at me, deciding if I was playing a prank on her or if it was sort of a trick question.
"It hurts... When you're being controlled?" She said slowly, like a warning, that I must choose my next words of affirmation wisely.
"Er... Yes?" My voice cracked a little, and I was embarrassed. Ashley sighed deeply and closed her eyes.
"Is this about the time you unintentionally fought with Samuel?"
I nodded, guilt rising in my chest when Ashley brought it up. But thank gosh she knew I didn't mean to insult Samuel.
"Did you feel like you were being controlled when you said all that hurtful things to Samuel? Or is it just an excuse?"
"An excuse?" My eyebrows furrowed and I felt offended. "Do you really think I wanted to target Samuel by causing him unneccessary stress? By bringing up bad memories and making him think he doesn't deserve forgiveness for what he's done? I'm not that cruel, Ashley."
She widened her eyes, seemingly regretting her question. "I-"
"So, no, Ashley." I cut her off. "I sincerely felt controlled that time."
"Okay." Ashley slightly lowered in shame.
Neither of us spoke in a long time, so this was where I cleared things up.
"And while I kept spouting... Afflictive words at Samuel, I felt like my back was being pierced by millions of tiny sharp blades - I wish I can say I'm exaggerating, but it really did feel like that."
Ashley was listening intently to what I said. She grabbed a chair and sat down. I did the same. We were facing each other on the same side of the table.
"When do you feel like you're being controlled?" Ashley asked as she leaned forward, eager to learn more.
"Whenever I feel strong emotions, mostly anger."
"Does your back hurt all the time you feel like you're not yourself?"
"Yes, that's what made me suspicious that the two might be signs of something... Bad."
"I still see no solution to this problem." Ashley sounded disheartened. "I'm gonna need more information, Martinez."
I rummaged through my brain of what might be useful to help Ashley come to a conclusion. Then, that's when I remembered it.
"There is this weird... Rash on my back. It's on the same spot as to where the burning sensation is the strongest."
"A rash?" Ashley placed a finger on the table and tapped it rapidly. Her eyes darted on every corner of the library, hoping to find a reasonable explanation for my trouble.
"If it's okay, can I check the rash when we arrive back at the mansion? It's almost time to depart." Ashley pointed at the clock, showing that it's already 5:10 p.m. Five minutes left until it's time to go.
"Oh, of course." I stood up. "Let's hurry. They might be waiting."
Ashley dusted her skirt and strutted to exit the premises. Before she could open the door, I caught up to her and spoke urgently. "Hey, about the conversation we had..." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Could you... Not tell anyone? I don't think they'll view me the same if they knew."
"That is an unspoken rule, Martinez." Ashley had a small smile on her face. "I'm flattered you trust me enough to tell this. You can keep trusting me to keep your 'rash' a secret."
I sighed in relief. "Thank you."
We then marched off towards the elite building, a comfortable silence encircled us. I sneaked a peek at Ashley and saw she had a distressed expression - her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips pulled into a frown. Her ocean-blue eyes were dull. I could tell what she was thinking.
'She still can't apologize to Samuel?'
She's trying to help me overcome a serious obstacle in my life. And I was going to do the same.
"You look distraught." I spoke, but I kept my eyes forward. "Is apologizing to Samuel that hard?"
"How did you-?"
"You don't have that look on your face quite often." I immediately said. "And I noticed that in the past three days, you and Samuel have not interacted with each other at all."
"Keen eye, Martinez." Mumbled Ashley. "I already messed up. I don't want to make it worse by coming across as unbothered. I really didn't mean to say all of that."
Her lips formed a straight line, her eyes shimmered under the setting sun, and her eyelids were droopy. Just by that face alone, she showed how remorseful she was.
"If it's any help, I think it's the thought that matters." I saw we were nearing the elite building. "And besides..."
I gave her an assuring smile. "If an apology comes from the heart, its honesty will be heard."
Ashley's jaw dropped, as if what I said was something unthinkable. She gazed at me with a new light of admiration. The black-haired girl, for once, was speechless because of me.
Ashley returned a smile of her own. "Not a bad advice, Martinez."
"Thanks, I got lots."
"Now, that, I doubt."
Puffing my cheeks and pouting at Ashley's remark, we joined the other elites inside the limousine. Upon doing so, the first thing they noticed - mostly the older ones - was my jacket.
The car ride was filled with subjects relating to soccer. It was indeed a noisy, but a lively time.
-
I was currently sitting on the couch at the mansion, still in my uniform. I wanted to take some time to rest both my body and mind. The others had gone to their rooms, cleaning themselves up, so I was alone on the first floor, until...
"Matthew?"
A voice as gentle as a breeze uttered my name. I turned to look back and unconsciously lit up. "Samantha! Hey."
The blonde-haired girl changed into a light blue t-shirt and white shorts that stopped just above her knees. Her hair was left untied, letting her golden locks flow freely and stopping at her waist. Her smoky grey eyes held a sweet innocence to them, pulling me into a calm wave.
'Dang, is this still normal?'
"You still h-haven't changed?" Samantha asked, her eyes landing on my uniform.
"Oh, I just wanted to rest for a little bit." I said. "Besides, I don't think I want to take this jacket off."
Samantha giggled at that, and I almost melted. "I heard you w-won the competition. C-Congrats!"
"Yeah, thanks!" I felt my cheeks getting warm. Getting congratulated by Samantha hits differently than the rest. "By the way, how was literature class?"
Samantha clicked her tongue and looked away, visibly annoyed. "My head hurts j-just by thinking about the p-piece that I made."
"What piece?"
"We were supposed to m-make a poem, then act i-it out like we're in some s-sort of theatre."
"And? Why are you so upset?"
"You already k-know..." Samantha looked away from me, her lower lip trembling. "My difficulty in d-delivering proper sentences hindered my c-chances to win."
"Oh..." I felt bad for being so stupid, but also at the same time, I grew curious. "Since... When did you have problems speaking?"
Samantha went quiet. Her actions showed hesitation. When I noticed this, I quickly added, "It's okay if you don't want to tell me."
"It's n-not that I don't want to, b-but..." She scratched her head, looking distraught. "You might not b-believe me or you won't e-expect this at all."
I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
She asked me if she could sit down, and I gladly scooted over to give her space on the couch. When she sat next to me, my heartbeat decided to speed up and I felt giddy inside.
Silence hung in the air as I waited for Samantha to speak up. I saw she was still thinking about something. Then, she spoke. "It all s-started when I was l-little. I forgot how old I w-was when it happened - I think I was s-seven or eight years old."
Her hand flew to her head, and she bit her lower lip as she took a deep breath. This caused me to severely worry now.
"I... I got into a-an accident. What do they call i-it? A hit-and-run?"
I lost count on how many times I've been speechless today. My mouth opened up to say something, anything that I could say to express my apologies to Samantha, although she continued the story, leaving me no opportunity to speak.
"So... Yeah. I was r-rushed into the hospital and they p-performed surgery on me, doing everything they c-could to save me. I lived, but t-the doctor said a permanent d-damage was inflicted on my brain, r-resulting in the adversity I'm going t-through."
She was right to warn me because I didn't expect that at all. I could only imagine the hardship Samantha faced every day. It wasn't easy stuttering all the time, as it could create problems or give off a wrong impression.
For some reason, I was starting to see Samantha not just someone who I thought needed protecting, but someone who was strong as she keeps overcoming the hurdles that life's throwing at her.
'It seems she's not a fragile one.'
Then, I've come to realize something.
"A hit and run? So, after just putting you in a near-death experience, that jerk didn't bother to, at least, pay your hospital bills?"
Samantha shook her head as no. That's when I clenched my fists, making them turn white. My back burned with pain as I breathed heavily, my thoughts whirling in my head.
'People like that deserve to drop in the underworld where ventifios can bring the karma.'
I gritted my teeth, feeling my nails dig into my palms. If I was there, I'd be sure to give the driver a beating of a lifetime. Not maybe just a beating, but I could also ki-
"Matthew!" Samantha yelled, stopping my malicious mind from thinking any further, and the pins and needles from my lower back disappeared as well.
"Are you o-okay? You're glaring holes i-in the television."
I blinked, staring at the screen of the appliance in front of me, the show 'Long lost twins' was playing.
"Oh..." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Sorry, I-I was just..."
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. It happened again. Because I was angry, I became impulsive of my thoughts and the 'rash' from my back hurt again.
'I hope Ashley can help me with this.'
"It's now i-in the past." Said Samantha. "I cannot move f-forward if I dwell on i-it."
I smiled at her words. Despite being younger than me, she's wiser. I couldn't help but be jealous. Her way of thinking was a unique one - not all people could let go of the past.
"Isn't that charming?" My eyes closed as I chuckled, so I failed to see the blush that heated her entire face. "You're more mature than I thought."
"T-Thank you." A big grin spread across her face. "And there's nothing I c-could do about it now, s-since it already happened."
"That's true." I leaned back on the couch. "You can't go back to the past, but you can always change the future."
Samantha deeply thought it over. "How does that work?"
"Well, for example..." I nagged for my brain to work, or else I would look like an idiot. "Let's say I had a choice whether I want to go out and celebrate, or I could stay here and rest instead. One of the choices I'll make will have different outcomes."
It was a stupid example, but hey, it sort of proved my point.
Samantha stared at me for the longest time, long enough to make me feel a bit self-conscious and embarrassed.
"What if..." She whispered and looked away. "I want t-to celebrate with you?"
I whipped my head towards her. "You do?"
"U-Uhm... As you said, i-it's your choice. And..." Her gaze returned to me. "I want t-to see the cafe you m-mentioned."
I wasn't going to deny it, but I was glad I made the right example to lead up to this moment. And I haven't been to the Beanylicious cafe in a while.
"Sure! We can go right now if you want?"
"R-Really?" She asked hopefully.
"Yeah! Just let me change real quick!"
I was about to dash towards the stairs, then I stopped. I hesitated to say this, as I wanted it to be me and Samantha only, yet I did, as I didn't want to make Samantha uncomfortable when we get there.
"Do you... Want it to be only the two of us?"
It was better to make it awkward right now than to be awkward later.
I expected her to invite someone else because Samantha was nice like that. So, to my surprise, she said, "Samuel said he's b-burnt out from Home Economics c-class and Ashley's in the middle of r-reviewing something. So..." She lowered her head shyly.
"Oh!" I exclaimed, secretly happy. "That's okay! We can just bring them back a milkshake or something."
Samantha approved. I proceeded to climb up the stairs and walk to the front of my room. Before I could reach the door handle, I paused midway.
'Zed likes Samantha... Right? Should I really be doing this?'
I bit the inside of my cheeks, not liking the guilty feeling bubbling up inside me. Somehow, I felt like I was getting in the way of the two.
After a few minutes, I collected myself. With a determined smile, I thought quietly, 'It's not like they're official yet... So, may the best man win.'
I opened the door to my bedroom.