MATTHEW'S POV
I sat on my bed, mouth agape. Samantha had looked away from me and Ashley did her best not to maintain eye contact. It seemed I had spoken the truth.
"She... yes, she's no longer around." Ashley forced herself to speak. My hand flew to my mouth at the affirmation. I turned to Samantha to apologize, but she beat me to it.
"Samara w-was five years older t-than Samuel," Samantha began. "By the t-time Samuel joined the e-elites, our sister was preparing to g-graduate. Samuel looked u-up to Samara, s-she was the former c-captain of the first batch. S-Since Samuel decided he w-wanted to be like o-our sister, he was determined t-to become the next captain." Samantha paused to take a deep breath. I wanted for her to stop if she was getting uncomfortable. "You can stop if-"
The blonde raised her hand, indicating she wanted to continue. And so, she did.
"Samuel b-became... I want to call i-it being determined, but I-I think it's safe to s-say he was... Rather obsessed with his goals a-at becoming a captain." Samantha gave it a thought before deciding she wasn't supposed to say this.
"A-Anyways, something happened and Samuel b-blames himself for it. You k-know that Samuel is now a-a captain and the captain's hat is p-passed on from the former captain t-to the current one. Samuel refuses to e-even look at the direction of the h-hat since it reminds him o-of Samara and the i-incident."
I was speechless. I didn't know the two of them went through something mournful. Most of all, I didn't know Samuel carried such a burden. If being a captain wasn't enough, he had to endure remembering who the position once belonged to. The pain must've been unbearable to lose a loved one - particularly someone who you looked up to.
I was an only child and my mom never tried to meet someone else to start a family, so it was only me. When I said to Samuel that I lost a brother as a cover-up to Elijah and Sasha finding out I was an elite, that was probably the start of his memories of his sister coming back for him. I also noticed how he could be a bit protective of Samantha. Was she the only sibling he had left?
While I used that lie to make sure Elijah and Sasha doesn't find out I was an elite, I didn't know the true feeling of losing a sibling - not like Samantha and Samuel.
As I was feeling guilty about my actions, a question popped into my head.
'How exactly did Samara die? And why does Samuel blames himself for it?'
It was happening again - every question that has been answered, new ones appear. It was always a never-ending chain. When will I finally get to know the truth for all of these?
I looked up to see the girl's expression. They were gloomy, much like the atmosphere. Whoever this Samara person may be, they had huge admiration and respect for her that her death left them in anguish.
I could only imagine Samuel's pain - it must have been much painful for him, greater than those people around him. No wonder he didn't like to talk about it.
I owed Samuel more than an apology. I needed to make it up to him.
Turning to face the girls, I expressed my gratitude and condolences.
"Thanks for telling me the truth," I smiled to let them know I appreciated the effort for saying the reason, even if it was hurtful. "And I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Samantha shook her head. "Her d-death came as a shock f-for us, but since I w-wasn't an elite yet at t-the time- it affected me, y-yes - but for Samuel, h-he was still grieving w-when he started having n-nightmares about her."
"Not just nightmares..." Ashley mumbled. I didn't hear the rest of it as I was too shocked.
I gripped the bedsheets at that. When Samuel and I first met, the thought of him losing someone he loves never occurred to me. I always saw him as a great and fun guy. Now that I was hearing he was having nightmares about his sister's death made me see him in a new light - a darker one.
"I messed up." I grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it. I squeezed it tightly before facing the girls again. "I crossed the line this time." Then, I gasped and lost my grasp on the pillow. "What if Samuel hates me now? For real? What I did back in the underworld, I violated a captain's order, and now, I forced him to tell me the truth thinking it was nothing and he's overreacting."
I looked down and whispered. "I was the one overreacting."
"D-Don't say that." Samantha instantly said to comfort me. "I k-know Samuel, he could never h-hate anybody." The girl placed her hand on top of mine. "Especially you."
I smiled at the sweet words. Samantha always knew what to say, no matter what.
"Thanks, Samantha." I patted her head. The girl giggled as I ruffled her head.
Someone interrupted our moment by coughing. "Now, you know a bit about Samuel." Ashley took a sharp breath. "Are you happy?"
I gave it one long thought. Was I... Happy? That I knew Samuel better? Sure, it was nice that the hat was finally explained but... The explanation just weighed heavily in my chest. It wasn't as I expected.
I sighed. And to remember I said Samuel's reason that was 'fashion' made no sense. I think it might be better if I sewed my mouth shut.
Ashley took my silence as an answer and stood up. "Remember this, Martinez. Some people have secrets that they don't want to be revealed. And they will always have a reason for it."
The black-haired girl turned around after saying that. She exited the room and Samantha looked torn between running after the girl or staying with me.
"D-Don't mind Ashley. You k-know she's always like that." Samantha gave my hand one last squeeze before leaving my bedroom and shutting the door. I was all alone again.
'Samuel... Why can't you tell me that? I know the death of a loved one is hard but... Why blame yourself for it? What exactly happened that only you know? Will someone ever get to know?'
I threw the pillow back on the bed and stood up. I felt thirsty after thinking too much and my stomach was twisting from all the negative emotions I handled in one day. It was both impressive and scary that a lot had happened today.
First was my friendship with Elijah that existed no more. Next was the van that followed us. I talked with Samuel again, only to ruin it once more by my poor choice of words and wrong-doings. Lastly, I found out their sibling was dead and Samuel still couldn't accept she was gone. I was scared for the future - I had a feeling I was barely scratching the surface of what has been hidden deep within.
I left my bedroom to go to the kitchen and drink some water. I descended the stairs and saw the elites from Zed's batch lounging on the couch, some were even eating on the table. It looked like they just got back.
As I was filling my cup, my eyes subconsciously wandered to the spot where Samuel and I had fought.
Why was it that I always make things worse? If things did get better, I would also be the one to destroy it again.
I exhaled deeply. I'll talk to Samuel eventually, but for now, I felt like I needed to give him some space. I doubt he'd want to see me after the whole misunderstanding.
I gulped down the water from the glass and panted, quenching my thirst. Drinking water was refreshing after a long day.
I left the glass in the sink and planned to go back to my room and sleep. My hand hovered over the doorknob of my bedroom when I saw Samuel's door ajar, a gold light peeked out of the small space.
The feeling of curiosity came back again as I heard muffled voices from his room. I couldn't hear it clearly as Samuel's room was three doors away to the right. It seemed Samuel wasn't alone. I forced my head to face my bedroom door.
'Don't do it, Matthew. You already know enough. Don't go meddling into other people's business.'
This curiosity of mine was what lead me to find out I was an elite. But this was also the one that pushed my friendship with Samuel to the edge. I didn't know anymore if I should follow it or try my best to ignore it.
I wrapped my hand around the doorknob, ready to open my door when Samuel and his company's conversation slightly got louder.
"It's not... As his... Yours is more... That's not a bad thing... I don't... Another one... You already have... Permanent damage."
The last one pushed me. Intrigued and worried, I let go of my non-existent self-control and tip-toed closer to Samuel's room. I checked for anyone who could see me at any moment, quietly sighing in relief when I saw I was completely alone.
This was bad. I just never learn. I kept making bad choices again and again. I wished I just had a decent amount of respect for privacy. But I couldn't even possess that trait. Someone help me with this.
Since I was leaning towards the door, my ears picked up their voices crystal clear.
"I think it's time for you to take it easy, Samuel. You don't wanna risk opening them up."
I now know the owner of the voice was Zed.
"It won't. I got this. You worry too much." Samuel casually waved off what Zed was talking about.
The black-haired guy clicked his tongue. "Of course I am! You have no idea how scary and worrying it is watching you writhe in pain when they did these to you!"
I think Samuel grumbled. "Keep it down, others may hear. Also, I'm still not used to having those ointments on top of it, okay? Those hurts, not these."
Zed's voice lowered slightly at Samuel's warning though I could still hear it loud and clear. "You're gonna get used to it soon if you continue to pull off those stunts of yours and be reckless."
By how much information I gathered from eavesdropping, this was, by far, the most worrisome I ever heard.
I already had my ear near the door, and I got a glimpse of Samuel's room - a circular white rug lay near the bathroom door and a burgundy desk with a brown chair tucked underneath was a few feet away from the bed. The white walls and brown floor of Samuel's room made me wonder if he ever decorated it at all.
But that wasn't the point. I could also see both of their backs facing me. Zed had a decent amount of clothing consisting of a grey sweater over a navy blue v-neck shirt paired with light brown shorts that went down his knees. As for Samuel though, I saw he didn't have a shirt on.
In short, Samuel was half-naked. That allowed me to see a lighter shade of his skin that stretches from his right shoulder to the middle of his back in a diagonal line. There were also short pink-ish ones that were no longer than three to six inches, I supposed. That one specific line was the longest of them all. The others almost covered his whole back.
I furrowed my eyebrows at what Samuel had on his back. I blinked a couple of times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.
'Yep, those are real.'
But what could it be? The only thing that popped in my mind was-
I couldn't identify it further as Zed had finished his business with Samuel and was currently walking to the door. Panic mode was on.
I scrambled away, trying not to get caught by the black-haired captain. I managed to run silently in front of the door of my bedroom, only to be confused. I waited about a minute to see Zed leave Samuel's room. He was still in there.
Slowly making my way back to where I was a minute ago, I found Zed was just pacing back and forth, not having the intention of going out.
Samuel had put a red shirt on that had the quote, 'go big or go home' on it written in gold, bold letters. The blond-haired guy had a poker face on compared to Zed who looked more anxious than earlier.
"You what?" Zed asked incredulously. "You argued with Matthew? Why?"
Uh-oh, I was busted.
"Well, he kept pressuring me on why I didn't want to wear the hat..." Samuel rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced away to a much more breath-taking view - the moon out the window. "I saw Ashley and Samantha enter his room a while ago. I think my sister may have told him something."
'Dang, he's good. Bravo, captain.'
"I just hope it's not the full version." Samuel sighed and looked down. I noticed his clenched hands were slightly shaking. "I don't want him to know what happened to... Samara. He might not look at me the same way again." I had sensed the hesitation in his voice when he said his sister's name.
That both touched my heart and set up alarms in me. Other than the reason of trying to make sure I don't find out - I was still suspicious by the way - Samuel thought that I was the one who would see him differently, that I was going to judge him. It was the opposite - I thought he was the one who would hate me or at least wouldn't want to do anything with me anymore. Knowing this, a sparkle of hope made my lips tug upward. Maybe we could still salvage our friendship.
As for the alarming part, I was quite bothered by what happened with his older sister that made him say that, and on how he was trying so hard to keep that one particular secret from me.
He didn't seem to mind Samantha telling me about the hat. Because he knew that one particular secret was safe with him. Only he knows.
I decided it was enough eavesdropping for one day. My conscience was also nagging me that this was where the line had to be drawn. I should stop trespassing in people's personal life and privacy.
I turned around, away from the door. I walked towards my bedroom door and was about to twist the doorknob when I heard footsteps approaching.
I whipped my head towards the source to see Zed had left Samuel's room. The two of us locked eyes. Half a minute of silence whizzed by when Zed was the one who spoke, "Were you just about to enter your room?"
Suddenly, my throat felt dry because I knew the words that were going to come out of my mouth were lies. "Uh, yeah. Why? What about you?"
I quickly changed the topic so I was the one asking him. I never liked being questioned when all I could offer them were not the truth. "Oh, I was just talking to Samuel." He sucked in a breath through his teeth. His eyes flickered to my left foot. Slightly covered by my pajamas, the bandages were slowly coming off.
"Oh! Is it time to change it? Wait, let me see if you even need those anymore. I'll just stop by my room real quick." He power-walked past me and entered a room about five doors from mine. As I waited outside, my gaze trailed off to my ankle.
'If you're not observant, you wouldn't be able to see I even had bandages at all...'
My eyes drifted to Samuel's room. The door was fully closed. That made the corridor dark, cold, and quiet in contrast to the bright light, and heavy conversation a while ago.
'... Just like when I thought you didn't have secrets back then.'