"Why didn't you say anything?" I sounded more shocked than I really was.
"Yeah, like I was going to bring that up to my sister? 'Hey Alison, can you try not to fuck so loud?'" We both laughed at that. He had a point. "Besides," he said, looking chagrined to admit the next part, "I was sorta learning things back then. I hope this doesn't sound too weird, but for a while I judged my sex against that. If the girl was all quiet I didn't think I was doing a good job."
I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't help but conjure the mental image of my brother as an adolescent, sitting in his quiet room intently listening as my seventeen-year-old boyfriend fucked the hell out of me. I could just imagine him listening while I cried out as I came. That mental image turned me on, which was disturbing. I closed my eyes and the whole thing played out in my mind's eye. All I could think of to say was, "Not all girls are screamers, Ted."
"Yeah, I figured that out after a while. No thanks to you!" Ted laughed, but I was definitely getting weirded out. I know our conversation had taken its bizarre turn because we'd both been drinking, but I still did not like what I was feeling. It was time for bed.
"I had better be going up now. I know I am going to be regretting this in the morning."
"Come on, then. Let me help you to bed. Don't want you stumbling down the steps."
I tried to manage on my own, but I was still too drunk, so Ted had to help me up. I was all too aware of him against me as we transverse the stairs. He held me effortlessly and his strength seemed to make the ember flowing between my legs burn brighter. His arm was around me and his hand just beneath my breast. When we reached the top of the stairs I told him goodnight and he gave he a tight hug and a quick kiss before sending me off to my room and my slumbering husband. It was the kind of a hug I would have craved from any other man.
Mike was out like a light, softly snoring in the dark. It was funny that he warned me not to wake him when I came to bed. A stampede would not have woken him, although in my state I really wanted to. Ordinarily I sleep nude, but I had taken to sleeping in a tank top and panties since Ted was staying with us. I changed into my bedclothes and laid beside my husband.
I wanted to sleep, but sleep would not come. The tequila was working its magic too well. That and the thoughts I couldn't stop from coming, no matter how hard I tried. Was Ted listening every time I was having sex back then? The thought of someone listening in on my fucking was hot and that wasn't diminished at all by the fact that it was my brother. I couldn't help myself and as I laid in bed a hand slipped between my legs. I rolled my panties down to my knees and when I touched my pussy it was already damp. I could picture Gordo, my high school boyfriend perfectly. He was cute, but not a jock or anything like that. He'd been a grunge bad boy, with long hair and engineer boots and lots of flannel. His attempts to go down on me were laughable and whenever I went down on him he came in about thirty seconds, but the sex had been pretty good, all things considered. If I blew him and let him cum before we had sex he could go for a really long time after he got hard again. Gordo had always been a little rough with my breasts, not appreciating how sensitive they are, but we were both learning then.
I imagined Gordo on top of me in my white princess bed, the afternoon light streaming into my bedroom through lace curtains. My room was always a mess and our clothes would be on the floor with the rest of the clutter. Gordo had a nice sized cock. It seemed huge to my virginal pussy. I stroked my clit in my marital bed thinking about my first cock and how good it felt. And then I thought about my brother in the next room, in the grip of puberty, straining to hear every sound. In my memory, Gordo and I were very loud. Lying next to Mike I bit my lip as I whimpered and touched myself. My clit was so slick it was hard to keep my fingers on. I lay on my side, facing away from Mike, with my legs parted just enough to reach myself. And while I touched myself I suddenly wondered if Ted had touched himself while he listened to my boyfriend and I. I bet he'd been turned on. Who wouldn't be? I bet he had. I bet he pulled his little pud while he listened to Gordo and I fuck. That thought pushed me right over the edge and I came as quietly as I could while my pussy soaked my fingers and I tried not to cause enough commotion to wake my husband. As I came down from my orgasm it suddenly struck me…Ted couldn't hear now, could he?
I was very hung over and as Mike packed to go away on another trip to the Houston office I wasn't much help. He was a good sport about it, bringing me coffee and aspirin in bed, but eventually I did have to get up and drive him to the airport. I just pulled on the most comfortable thing I had. I didn't even bother with a bra under my t-shirt.
Ted ended up coming with us and I cursed him for being so hangover-free. That five-year gap really makes a difference. I just couldn't deal with drinking the way I'd been able to in my early twenties.
Taking Mike to the airport had become such a routine that I didn't even go inside anymore. He leaned over and kissed me at the terminal and I told him to be careful.
"I'm really glad you're going to be around for a while to keep an eye on Alison, Ted." Mike said, as he got out of the car and Ted moved to the front seat.
"Don't worry, I'll do my best."
"Well, you guys have fun while I'm gone, but not too much fun. Try to take it easy with the tequila."
I eased out of the airport and back onto the interstate to head home. Both Ted and I were silent. He seemed fine, but I was still freaked out by the things I'd been thinking about last night. I hoped he couldn't tell because there was no way I was going to try and explain that. Besides, it was just stuff running through my head. I'd really been thinking about Gordo when I was masturbating last night, I told myself, not about Ted. Ted was just the catalyst. While all that confusion was in my head I became aware of a tingling in my chest. I shifted around and realized the edge of the seatbelt was brushing my nipple and had made it nice and hard. Since I hadn't bothered with a bra both my nipples were showing through my t-shirt. Shit! While at the right times having such sensitive nipples was a blessing, just then it seemed like a curse. The worst part was that the stimulation was turning me on. I tried to turn myself off, thinking of anything I could, before Ted noticed. Luckily I didn't think he'd be checking his sister's rack out anyway. But then…
"Alison, should I turn down the air conditioning?" Ted asked grinning. I looked to the side and he glanced down at my chest and then back to my face, which as a deep red. Oh God!
"Hey, eyes forward! It's not polite to notice things like that. Especially on your sister!" I said, hoping I sounded amused.
Ted found my embarrassment funny. "Take it easy, it could be worse. You could have been caught in the rain."
I just grumbled and kept my mouth shut for the rest of the ride. After we got home I told Ted I was still feeling like crap and went right up to bed. I couldn't help but wonder. Had Ted been checking me out in the car? No, it had to be my imagination. I was projecting because of that weird fantasy I had. I really had to get a grip, especially since Ted and I were going to be alone for the next week and a half.
With a good night's sleep and some avoidance I was able to pretty much forget about my troubling thoughts about my brother. I was glad the next day was a workday and even though I wasn't particularly busy I buried myself in my work. By the time I got home, I was happy to see Ted once again.
Monday was Ted's day off and I found him in the kitchen, peering into the freezer. He was getting ready to take his daily run. His upper body has nice definition and his skin was lightly tanned under his tank top. Ted took after our Dad's colouring, while I took after our mother, burning easily in the sun and tending to freckle rather than tan.
I usually shower after work in the summer and I told him, "I'll try to make sure I leave some hot water for you."
"You should come running with me. Do you ever anymore?"
"I haven't been running in months, probably last fall. It just doesn't ever seem like I have the time. I wish I did, though, cause I've been feeling pretty lazy lately."
"Run upstairs and change then and come running with me," Ted said.
"Nah, not today, but maybe one evening this week."
"I'm going to hold you to that. Can't let you fall apart in your old age."
"I'll give you old age," I laughed, winging an empty water bottle at his head.
Ted stuck to his word and he bugged me every day after work for three days until I finally relented. As soon as I got home I traded my work clothes for loose running shorts, an oversized tank top and a sports bra. We walked over to the park near the house and stretched against a split-rail fence at the start of the trail. I put a foot up on the rail and stretched feeling the tightness in my leg. It had been way too long.
"You're going to have to take it easy on me," I warned.
"Is this the same Alison who ran track in high school?" Ted asked.
"No, this is Alison ten years older with a job that requires her to sit behind a desk."
"Sure, I'll take it easy. No worries."
If that first run was his idea of taking it easy I'd hate to see what Ted did when he was going all out. The paved trail winds through woods and it about two miles in length. We took a short break at the far end before turning around and coming back, but I still needed to walk the last half-mile, with a cramping stitch in my side and painful shin splints. Ted was good-natured about the whole thing, not complaining that I was slowing him down. We ran a couple more times that week, but then Ted had to work an evening shift on Friday and I was left to my own devices. I took the easy way out, ordering food in and then curling up on the couch with a book instead of going out and running on my own. I fell asleep on the couch and did not awaken until Ted came home.
Ted had turned the lights in the living room out and thrown a blanket over me. That was very thoughtful of my baby brother. I stretched my body taut on the couch and let out a small yawn. I could hear the shower running upstairs and figured Ted must be trying to wash off the smell of Pizza Hut. The shower shut off and I could hear Ted banging around upstairs. I folded the blanket over the back of the couch and headed up for bed.
I thought Ted was being unusually loud until I reached the top of the stairs and heard two voices from the far end of the hallway. The master bedroom is right at the top of the stairs and the guest room Ted was using was at the far end of the house. Usually sound didn't carry that well, but the house was deadly silent.
"Cyndy, you need to be quiet," I heard Ted tell his guest in a hushed tone. "My sister is asleep downstairs."
"It's not like she's your mom," a female voice answered. Ted's guest sounded very young.
"Yeah, but I don't want to wake her."
"Sure, no problem. I can be quiet."
There was more silence and then I heard the shifting of the bed. I poked my head above the top of the stairs and I could see light streaming from Ted's door, which was open a crack. I guess since he didn't think I was awake he didn't need to bother shutting his door. Without thinking, I sat at the top of the steps, straining to hear what was going on.
I thought I heard kissing. There was the rustle of sheets, maybe clothes. The girl, Cyndy, told Ted, "See, I can be quiet."
"Maybe we should just slow down a little bit here," Ted said, sounding nervous.
"I know you didn't just invite me to hang out up here in the middle of the night." I could hear mischief in Cyndy's voice.
"Well, uhh…Woah, Cyndy."
"What do we have here? That's impressive, Ted."
"Uh, thanks. Mmmm, Cyndy."
Now all I could hear was my brother moaning and wet sounds like kissing or sucking. Was that girl going down on my brother? That's what it sounded like. I could picture the room, the light on the nightstand, the floral comforter thrown back and Ted lying on top of the bed while some blonde bent over and took him in her mouth. When she said that he was impressive, did she mean my brother was big? As I saw Ted lying there in my head, I imagined him with a big cock and I imagined that Cyndy couldn't quite take it all down, that she was stroking the part of his shaft she couldn't get into her mouth. I could see her running her tongue up and down his thick cock.
My nipples had gotten hard and a gently pinched them through the thin tank top I was wearing. Heat flowed through my body, straight from my nipples to my pussy, like a direct current connection. I really couldn't hear very much at all, but my mind was filling in the gaps. My pussy was very wet and I had to reach between my legs, to touch it. My hand went inside my shorts and then inside my panties.
"That feels soooo good," Ted moaned.
I circled my clit, first teasing it with a fingernail and then rubbing it with the tips of my fingers. I leaned back against the wall, eyes closed, picturing what was going on in the guest room. I knew this is what it must have been like for Ted back in high school, listening in while I had sex, trying to decipher sounds and turn them into pictures in his mind. Did picturing his sister having sex bother him? How many times had he heard me give a blowjob? My hips were jerking in time with my fingers. I could hear Ted's moans becoming more rhythmic, which I took to mean he was getting closer to cumming.
"Cyndy, I'm getting close," Ted warned.
There was a slurping sound and Cyndy answered, "Good," then fell silent again. I could just see her putting his cock back into her mouth to finish him off.
It was so hard to stay silent, to just listen. I knew I was whimpering there in the dark hallway, but I was sure Ted was too busy to notice. God, what was wrong with me? Why was I getting so hot listening to my own brother getting a blowjob?
Ted grunted loudly and I just knew what that meant. For a second it flashed in my mind that I was the one going down on Ted and he was filling my mouth with his warm cum, not Cyndy's. That pushed me over the edge and I stayed as quiet as possible while I came by my own hand.
My orgasm seemed to bring me back to reality and I quickly scrambled to my feet and into my bedroom. My panties were soaking wet so I just pulled them off with my shorts. My top followed and I laid on top of the bed with the ceiling fan wafting a light breeze down onto me. I'd thought I was over it, that those thoughts the other night were just the temporary product of tequila and too little sex as of late. But while I hadn't gotten any more sex, I couldn't use drink as an excuse this time because I was stone cold sober. I was ashamed that I could ever think of my little brother that way, even if he wasn't so little anymore. It was just so wrong.
I couldn't hear anything else from inside my bedroom, so I don't know what they did after that, but I did hear Ted letting his girl out about forty-five minutes later. After that, I fell into a troubled sleep.
Ted was working the opening shift the next day, so I was able to knock around the empty house and try to sort things out. I put on the latest Sheryl Crow CD and cranked it up. I could make any sense of what was going on in my head, so I lost myself in cleaning the house and doing laundry instead. The only thing I could tell myself to salve my shame was that they were only thoughts and everybody has thoughts they shouldn't. Don't they? And thoughts aren't the same as actions.
The music was so loud that I didn't hear Ted when he came in. I was actually doing a little dance in the living room to the song 'Steve McQueen', swishing my hips and tossing the feather duster into the air like a baton when I heard my brother say, "Very nice, Alison. I think you missed your calling."
I spun around and the duster bopped me on the head, which only made Ted laugh harder. I was embarrassed, but tried not to show it, exaggeratingly swishing my hips and saying, "You really think so?"
"Oh yeah, the cleaning bit would go over big. I'd throw some ones at you if you weren't my sister." Ted said with a silly grin.
All kinds of thoughts sprung unbidden into my mind and I pushed them aside. "You must be exhausted after closing last night and opening this morning."
"It's not so bad, I'm not too tired. I'm still up for running later."
"We'll see. It's like ninety-five degrees outside."
"The heat's good for you. Don't be a wuss. Hey, what time did you go to bed last night?"
"After midnight. I woke up on the couch. Why do you ask? Afraid I saw you and your friend?"
"I, uh, well…" Obviously that's exactly what he was worried about.
"Ted, it's cool. Really. I'm the one who told you that you should make a new friend. Didn't think you'd do it so fast, though." I said with a wink.
"It's not like that." He caught my look and added, "Well, it's not really like that. What did you see?" It was my turn to make him red for a change and I found that teasing him made me feel better about what was going on with me.
"Don't worry, stud. I didn't see anything. I just heard some voices, that's all. I just came upstairs and went to bed." That was as much of the truth as he needed to know. "Did you get lucky?"
"No!" Ted said, avoiding my eyes. "We fooled around a little. Y'know, some clothes came off, but we didn't fuck. She wanted to, but I just couldn't. It didn't feel right."
"I'm glad you didn't rush into anything. How did you meet her?"
"At work. And don't say anything about that. It's all your fault anyway. Our conversation the other night got me thinking and then I was kinda horny and Cyndy was coming onto me and I didn't stop her."
I had to laugh. "It's not my fault you let that girl give you head. I had nothing to do with it." Thoughts of last night flashed through my mind, especially when I imagined it was me going down on him. I walked past Ted, busing myself winding up the vacuum cord.
"How do you know…" Ted blurted out, then stopped abruptly.
Now it was my turn to grope for words. "I…I didn't. I was just guessing. C'mon, it's not like I was listening at the door. You can have a friend over whenever you want. Really, don't worry about it."
Ted seemed relieved I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. "Okay, cool. I am going to jump in the shower and then we can take our run."
"One thing at a time."
When Ted got out of the shower he bullied me into running with him again and he told me he would meet me downstairs after he threw a load of wash in. I went up to my bedroom to change. I was in my panties and sports bra when Ted came walking into the bedroom.
"Hey!" I shouted, using a hand to cover myself between my legs and throwing an arm across my chest. "Haven't you heard of knocking?"
Ted kept coming into the room, carrying a laundry basket, which he set down on the bed. "Don't be so modest Alison. You probably wear less on the beach. Besides, that's nothing based on what's in here." Ted reached into the laundry basket and pulled out a very lacy lavender bra. He also pulled out a red satin demi-cup one.
"Give me those," I shouted, reaching for my undergarments while Ted danced out of reach. "C'mon, knock it off. Give me those back."