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I threw up all the shellfish that I ate last night. This is unusual. I never get sick by eating seafood. Maybe it's the vodka. I have been drinking too much these days to conceal my pain.Β
Maybe I should just stop drinking. But I can't do that. I can't sleep without drinking at least four shots of vodka. I really need some fresh air now to clear my head.Β
I walked outside the beach house and sat down on the deck chair. The sound of the waves hitting the coast was making me feel relaxed.Β
" Are you okay, Hannah?" Cece asked me while she was sipping coconut water with a straw.Β
" I'm just feeling hungover. I must have drunk too much yesterday," I replied.
" But why would you do that? I thought you had Rocky now to fill up your void."
" I just don't know, Cece. I can't stop thinking about him no matter what I do. And these days I am feeling so cranky." I started crying again for no reason. " I feel so pathetic!"