Please don't blame me. All I wanted was a little revenge.
After Don Bleck broke up with me, I was devasted, hurt, scared, and hated all men. I wanted a little revenge. I dress cutely, and when I see him, I act like a hot girl in summer, but he never cared and ignored me. So I gave up on him even though I liked him a lot.
In 11 grade, I was 17 at the moment, and I had that girl I thought was my friend. She came up to me and said, hey, jia. I responded nicely. She told me she had that friend who liked me, and if I wanted to walk home with her, I said ok. I guess I was a dumb girl like my cousin said.
As we walk I notice she was not going home, so I ask her where we are going. She said we were going to a friend's house. When we got there, I notice to place don't ask me how its a story for another time. It was me, her, and another girl. They both were seniors, so I thought it was cool to hang out with the seniors.
We got inside, and I saw two men, one where the other girl's boyfriend. I should have know the other was that girl boyfriend, but I was dumb, I guess. that other guy was don brother, and I did not know. So I got introduce to him, and he said he liked me. I look at him and saw he was at least 24 years of age.
He and his friends went and brought some alcohol, and guess what I can hold the liquor I have been drinking since a little girl, so of course, I can keep my liquor. I can drink a bottle of tequila mixed with beer, and I would not get drunk.
I drink a little talk and then went home, and I thought, you know what, he's an excellent friend, so we started texting. It was cool, but my heart was still with don at the time, and I was not thinking of dating anyone at the time, and then a week.
The school was never my place; I would constantly get bullied, and no one would know, not even those I consider my friends. So one day, I decided not to go to school, and I could not stay home, or my mom would find out, so I decided to go to don brother's place. When I got there, he opened the door. We got in, then I open the tv and started watching a tv show.
Then time passes fast. It was time for me to go. He then told me, why don't we chill for a bit longer? I said I had to pick my brother up from school. He then firmly pin me down and remove my underwear, and by force, he penetrated me as I told him it hurt; please stop. He ignored me and continued until he came.
I then put on my underwear n and ran out. As I was walking down the street, I keep saying it was not my fault, but deep down, I know it was my fault cause it was me who walk over to his house.
When I got to my brother's school, I went to the bathroom, and I cry and cry over and over again. A week has passed. I told no one I act as if nothing happened when he text I respond, for I was scared he would tell someone if I did not text back. Two weeks as pass since it happened, I started to find peace with what happened until one of the girls in my school talked about dating don brother. I went to see who don brother was when I look it was him.
I was so shocked it felt like my world fell apart that moment. that day, I skipped school and went straight home. When I got home, I felt so dirty, so I went to the bathroom and scrubbed every part of my body until it was red. that day, I ask my mom to pick my brother up cause I was not feeling well.
When my mother came home, she asked me what was wrong with my skin. I said, oh, when I was coming home, bird poop on me; she started laughing so did my brother. I went to my room. I cry so foul I did not eat that day, and that night I did something I should have never done.
I took an eyebrows trimer and scrambled my arm with it until I could see blood. The next day I woke up and went to school like nothing happen I cover my puffy eyes with makeup. And something happens in science class. My science teacher saw blood in my jacket, so he asked me to take the coat. I did not want to, but he's a pesky man.
When I took it off, he saw my arm was still bleeding, and it didn't look perfect. He walked out of the class and brought me straight to the nurse's office.
They look at it and quickly called my mother than some people who work with kids trying to kill themself. My mom came, the people came and talk to me. I lay and said it was because of a bully. They help me, but every day I wake up and pray for his death. I guess god hasn't heard me.
If I could sell my soul for his death, I would gladly do so. Please don't blame me for I haven't accused you of your past mistake.