That night, I wasn't able to sleep well because of that damn accidental kiss. We didn't made a fuss about it, and Toma even apologized for it… but I can't understand myself, why the fuck am I keep thinking of it!?
Now I couldn't even look at Toma in the eyes.
"Yeah, the exams were hard but Yuji was there to help me study."
"That's good to hear. It's nice to know Yuji is being such a good kid helping his friend."
"He really is great!" I stayed silent the whole time that we were all eating breakfast. I feel like it wouldn't do me good to converse with them feeling so lightheaded because of my sleepness night.
"…by the way, aren't you going to visit your mother Toma?" My dad asked him.
"Oh. There's still a lot of time though, but I'll make sure to visit her too."
"Say 'hi' for me when you visit."
"Sure uncle."
"Hmm, Yuji? You're silent the whole time, I hope we're not making you feel out of place." My dad suddenly noticed me. Damn it, why now? I already feel Toma's intense staring at me.
And whenever he does that, I can't help but remember the damn moment we kissed! It makes me feel too embarassed and weird. "I-I'm fine, I think I need a little more sleep." I said, not batting an eye at them and left the table.
I wished that I could get over the stupid thing that happened yesterday, and maybe I could get over it with a bit of sleep. I'll just hope that I really can get some sleep.
But before I could get in my room, I didn't expect that my vision went black for a sec then I suddenly got out of balance and almost fell on my back, someone caught me before I could fall. "Are you alright?" Toma asked.
"…I-I'm okay!" Damn it, why did Toma appeared out of nowhere to catch me!? Having him here and even holding me is going to make me feel crazy!
I immediately stood up properly and tried to face Toma. "Thanks for c-catching me, I'll be in my room now." Then I tried to get in my room quick, but Toma was fast to catch me. He grabbed me by the arm before I could get inside my room.
"Wait! Yuji, I think we need to talk about something." Shit, I am so not prepared for this. My mind is still a mess and I don't like how I'm reacting to Toma's appearance right now.
"I'm sorry but I really can't talk right now." I tried to pull his hand away from my arm, but he just won't let go.
"No, we have to talk about it right now."
"Toma, I told you I can't." I calmly said, even though I'm already panicking inside. The longer I look at his face, the weirder I feel… and the hotter my face feels.
"But Yuji… I don't want you to start avoiding me again, just like before! It's unbearable." He said, and looked like he was about to cry. There he made me remember that I tried to distance ourselves from one another, and he wasn't so happy about that.
It made me feel guilty, but it wasn't enough to forget what I'm currently feeling right now. And I have to deal with it quickly.
"We'll talk, okay? Just not today."
"No! This is about yesterday, isn't it?" Ah shit…
"…" I couldn't utter a word.
"It's about that stupid kiss, right?" As he asked that, there was this hopeful look on his face.
Toma, what the hell are you up to?