Toma bought an ice cream bucket and brought out some games when we got back to the dorm. He's really pulling out a great effort to make me feel better. When I got to wash up and feel refreshed, there wasn't anything blocking me from talking anymore.
"…thanks." I told him. I'm a little embarassed to make him go through all of this.
He just smiled at me while giving me a spoon. "Hey, this is the least I can do for you. I mean, you've been looking out for me since we were kids so I got to do this."
"Right. I'm just not used to this, I'm supposed to be the responsible one."
"You're still the responsible one though. You just happen to have your heart broken and made yourself like this."
"Y-Yeah." Then I got a spoon full of ice cream and stuffed my mouth.
Then he just laughs at me and pinched my nose like I'm some little kid. It pisses me a bit how he's acting like an older brother. "You might get brain freeze with all that ice cream in your mouth."
"I dwont kwer." I said with my mouth full.
He suddenly leans closer and whispered at my ear. "Brain freeze shrink dicks." His breath from whispering gave me a ticklish sensation which caused my reflex to shove his face away.
"Fuck you." I told him.
He laughs loudly. "Yes, fuck me."
"Ugh." I just rolled my eyes at him as he kept on laughing. After that, I just challenged him to play some game so I can beat the shit out of him there. And at the midst of playing, he striked a conversation. "You know, you shouldn't be so upset about that girl."
"You mean Xia?"
"Right. It's not like you've been with her for so long."
"Well she was different but… I think I'll be getting over it quickly." To think that girl had an affair and already had a child, it's something disturbing for me that I want to forget of quickly.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I just had a few things I realized last night. I can still recover from this."
"And while you're on the process, why not try to look at other people? I'm sure there's a lot-"
"Are you saying I should find a new girlfriend!?"
"Um yeah, if that's what you want."
"Even if I try, there wouldn't be such a person who'd date someone like me." And I really don't want to be in a relationship right now because I'm still quite terrified of what I learned.
"There is…" he said, and looks at me when he paused the game. "…you just don't know who that person is yet."
"…it seems you know a person who's interested in me."
"Would you date that person if I tell you who it is?" He seriously asked.
"N-No. I can't just dive in into a new relationship when I just broke up with someone. I'm not that kind of person." I told him.
Then he continued the game after hearing my answer. "Hey, I'm just curious…" he began to talk again.
"What about?" Both of us only had our eyes on the screen, I couldn't take a glance at him because I suddenly felt uneasy with his voice and this atmosphere between the two of us.
"If… If I was a girl, would you date me?"
Why the fuck is he asking something like that? Then I tried to joke about it so I can make a change with the atmosphere. "Depends, will you be hot if you're a girl?" I even laughed.
But damn, I think those were wrong choice of words. "Of course I'll be, want me to dress up like one right now?" He whispered again at my ear and smirks at me as he said that.
Ugh!
"Tch, just shut up." I couldn't understand why I got so flustered all of a sudden. Was it his because of his deep voice? His unusual gaze? Or was it the fucking idea of him dressing up as a girl? Fuck! This is so weird! "Sometimes you're so messed up that I can't understand what you're trying to do." I honestly told him.
He just chuckled. "You'll understand when you soon realize it."
"Realize what?"
"How awesome and handsome I am." I seriously just want to punch him at times like this. Though I'm thankful he's here with me right now, I don't know what I'd do if I was alone suffering this damn wretched heartache for someone who wasn't so worth it.