006
Sakura kicked open the roof access door with an annoyed grunt and stepped out. She was blinded by the sun and was forced to shield her eyes with her hand as they adjusted to the sudden change in lighting. Four figures slowly came into view on the opposite side of the roof. Sasuke was leaning against the railing with his arms folded across his chest, the ever present scowl still etched onto his face. Zero Two was sitting on the railing a bit away from the Uchiha with Naruto standing between her legs. Her arms were draped over his shoulders and her chin was planted atop his head. The masked man was standing in front of them with his face buried in that orange book of his.
"Eh..." Zero Two drawled lazily. "About time you showed up Pinky."
"Hmph!" Sakura snorted. "Can we just get this over with already? I don't want to be here any longer than I have to."
"On that I couldn't agree more," Zero Two groaned as she combed through Naruto's unkempt hair with her fingers.
"Well I suppose it would be best to start with introductions," the man said, snapping his book shut. "We'll keep it simple. Names, likes, dislikes, and dreams for the future, etcetera."
"Well you're supposed to be our new team leader right? Lead by example then," Naruto spoke up.
The man scratched his chin, mulling over the idea. "I guess that's only fair. Let's see...my name is Hatake Kakashi. I have many likes. And even more dislikes. As for my goals...I don't really feel like telling you," he shrugged.
"So in the end all we learned was your name..." Naruto dead panned.
"That's more than enough as far as I'm concerned. And since you're so eager to speak, your turn blondie," Kakashi retorted.
"The name's Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen, training, and er..." the blond's face suddenly flushed a she began to stumble over his words. "And uh...Z-Zero Two." He uncharacteristically stammered. He couldn't see her face but he could feel the rosette grinning madly behind him. Naruto folded his arms across his chest, trying to hide his embarrassment with a mask of indifference before continuing on. "A-Anyway, I hate vegetables, the three minutes it takes to cook instant ramen, and people that look down on others. As for my dream..." he paused once more. "I guess I don't really have one anymore..."
Kakashi watched as the light on his eyes dimmed and a crestfallen expression beset his features. 'Anymore...?' He pondered. In response, Zero Two wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck in a loving embrace and kissed the top of his head. He stared at her expectantly and she seemed to understand the unspoken question.
"I already introduced myself earlier. Not like it matters anyway. They won't last long out there," Zero Two said dismissively. This elicited a scoff from the taciturn Uchiha, making the rosette smirk.
'She certainly hasn't changed...' Kakashi sighed before turning to Sakura. "Alright your turn Pinky."
"My name is not Pinky, it's Haruno Sakura!" The girl huffed. "As for my likes, I uh-" she froze, stealing a glance a Sasuke. Her entire face flared up like high level fire jutsu. "Well I mean my dream is to-" Another glance at the stoic teen was enough to send the girl over the edge and fried her brain.
Kakashi shook his head in disappointment when he saw her befuddled, love-stricken face. 'Typical...girls her age are more focused on love rather than Ninja Arts,' he sighed internally. "And your dislikes?"
"Naruto!" She answered immediately.
"Me?" The aforementioned blond's eyebrow rose in confusion. "What did I ever do to you?"
"You're very presence annoys the hell out of me!" Sakura snorted. "Hers too!" She glared at Zero Two, who remained unfazed.
"Pay her no mind Darling. She's just jealous," Zero Two patted Naruto's head reassuringly.
"And why would I be jealous of you?" Sakura heaved.
"I have a boyfriend and you don't."
For the second time that day, Sakura found herself speechless and unable to counter the older girl's words.
"Alright, Alright," Kakashi interjected. He didn't care to hear their petty teenage squabbles. "We still have to hear from resident Bishōnen."
A spiteful glare flashed through the raven haired boy's eyes as he clicked his teeth. "Tch...Uchiha Sasuke. I have many dislikes, and nothing in particular that I like," he spoke for the first time that day. "And dreams are for children. What I have is an ambition. One to restore my clan and track down the person responsible for that night, and kill them."
'As I thought...' Kakashi speculated.
The story of the Uchiha massacre eight years ago was well known throughout the village. Someone had managed to infiltrate not just the village, but the well-guarded Uchiha compound as well and slaughtered every member of the isolated faction. Sasuke's older brother Itachi, the person he looked up to the most, sacrificed himself to save his younger sibling, making the boy the sole remaining survivor of his clan.
"Holy shit...it talks?!" Zero Two blinked, genuinely surprise. This earned her a hearty laugh from Naruto.
"Be nice Zero Two," he playfully chastised "Sasuke isn't that stuck up."
"I'm serious! I figured he was a mute or something since all he did was grunt!" She gestured frantically at the last Uchiha. Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, ignoring the couple as he returned to his previous task of gazing out into the village.
"Quite the colorful bunch I see." Kakashi spoke up. "As you guys know, we're all a team now. That means we'll be taking on missions and the like together. In fact, we have one tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? That sure was fast," Naruto commented.
"Well I can tell you now it's not the kind of mission you're all expecting," The scarecrow-nin responded.
"Well...what kind of mission is it then?" Sakura queried.
"A survival exercise," was her sensei's shrugged response.
"Exercise? We did plenty of those in the academy already," Naruto groaned. "What's so special about this one that makes it a mission?" He felt a chill race up his spine when the older man started giggling. For some reason it made him just as uneasy as Zero Two when she did it, if not more so.
"Neh, what's so funny Sensei...?" Sakura watched the ashen-haired man suspiciously. Even she found his childlike sniggering off putting.
"Oh...well I don't want to say, on the account that it'll just dishearten you all," Kakashi said as he began to settle down.
"Spit it or already you dusty scarecrow," Zero Two all but growled. Kakashi's mirthful aura dispersed as his eyes fell on the aggravated teen. 'So much for letting bygones be bygones...'
"Well then since you're all so eager I'll just come right out with it. Out of the 27 graduating students, only 9 will be officially selected to become genin. The other 18 will return to the academy. This mission you're about to partake in has a 66% failure rate. And I alone decide whether or not you pass or fail," he stated in a plain, almost bored tone. Beneath the mask, Kakashi's lips curled ever so slightly into a grin upon seeing the despair settle in their eyes.
"The fuck?!" Naruto blanched "What the hell was the point of those graduation exams then?!" For once Sakura had to agree with the blond, namely because he beat her to the punch in voicing everyone's collective frustrations.
"Oh those? That was just to see who had the potential to become genin. Tomorrow's exercise is the real test," the masked man said dismissively. "Now then. We shall meet tomorrow morning at 0500, training ground three. You're all dismissed." Kakashi waved them off. "Oh, and I'd skip breakfast if I were you. You'll just throw up anyway." With that final grim warning, he burst into a cloud of smoke.
"Tch...shady bastard," Zero Two moaned spitefully.
"What a waste of time," Sasuke muttered before flashing away. Sakura balked as a pout set on her features. She never got the chance to ask him for a date again. Noticing she was left alone with the two lovebirds, she scoffed at them before turning away. The couple paid her no mind as she swiftly departed the same she had arrived.
"Er...you sound like you've met Kakashi-sensei before Zero Two," Naruto tilted his head up to look at the rosette.
"A story for another time Darling," she grumbled, shaking her head clear. "Neh, it's almost lunchtime. Take me on a date."
Naruto spun around to face the rosette. He had to make sure he heard right. "Huh?"
"Take me on a date," Zero Two pouted as she crossed her arms. Yep, he heard her right.
"You mean right now?"
"Yeeess," she whined. "We have lots of lost time to make up for!" It was at that moment a figure flashed into existence next to Zero Two.
"I beg to differ."
The girl's eyes widened in horror but before she could react, she was forcefully swatted on the top of her head. "Ow!" Naruto blinked in surprise at his reeling girlfriend before turning to her assailant. It was the same ANBU with the cat mask that was there the day he first met Zero Two. In her hand, she held a rolled up newspaper that was reinforced with a thin layer of chakra.
"What'd you hit me for?! I didn't do anything!" Zero Two barked, rubbing the now tender spot on her head as she glowered at the woman.
The ANBU removed her mask, returning the younger girl's glare with equal fervor. "First of all, you're about a hundred years too early to be raising your voice at me," she said dangerously. "You didn't report in after your shift last night, let alone come home. Not to mention you didn't clean up the house like I told you to so it's a complete mess. And you forgot to feed Chiko!" the woman snapped, swatting the rosette again for good measure.
"Ow!" Zero Two cried out once more, only this time she hopped off the railing to distance herself from the clearly miffed woman. "I didn't forget, that little punk can manage just fine on his own!" She grumbled. "And I didn't come home because I spent the night with my Darling." The woman's head slowly craned until towards her new target and Naruto found himself frozen in fear. Her face was calm, cool, and collected. But there was a fire that raged in her eyes, one that promised untold amounts of pain.
"N-Nothing happened I swear!" He quickly interjected, frantically waving his hands in front of him defensively. Her eyes narrowed threateningly, scrutinizing over the blond before shifting focus back to Zero Two.
"You! Home. Chores. Now!"
"Okay Mom," The rosette rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed.
"Don't get snippy with me young lady!"
"Wait..Mom?" Naruto blurted out.
The woman's attention returned to the boy. "Pay her no mind, she's just being facetious. But we have yet to be properly introduced Uzumaki-kun. I am Uzuki Yugao, Zero Two's caretaker."
"More like jailer..." the girl grumbled.
"You know what-"
"Ah! Protect mean from the mean old ANBU Darling!" Zero Two his behind Naruto, pushing him closer to Yugao.
"Eh?!" Naruto exclaimed. He looked over his shoulder to see his girlfriend grinning madly at him. She had that look in her eyes again. "What do you expect me to do?!"
"You supposed to be my knight in shining armor ya know!" Zero Two pouted.
"Don't drag me into this!"
"Dahliiing~!"
Yugao silently watched the teens go back and forth and smiled. They were like two peas in a pod. Zero Two was noticeably happier and Naruto looked more like his old self from when he was younger. He was a good influence on her and she was helping him break out of his shell more. They were honestly quite cute together. It reminded Yugao of herself and Hayate when they were younger. She tried to suppress a giggle from watching their antics but failed, catching the attention of both teens.
"Neh, what's so funny?" Zero Two eyed her suspiciously.
"Oh nothing," Yugao laughed, waving off the girl's concern. "I'm just happy for you guys, truly I am. I heard from the Hokage about your new team placement Zero Two, but you still have responsibilities at home to take care of. So could you please..." she pleaded.
"Alriiiight..." Zero Two rolled her eyes.
"Thank you," Yugao nodded before placing her mask back on. "I must return to my post. You kids have fun now. But not too much fun," she said before flickering away. Naruto stared dumbfounded at the spot wear the purple-haired nin once stood. He picked up on the teasing inflection in her voice and he had a sneaking suspicion she was smirking beneath her mask. He was jolted back to reality by Zero Two excitedly tugging on his arm.
"Come on Darling, I'll show you my house!"
"R-Right..."
And with that, the two set off for the other side of the village.
After a twenty or so minute trek, the couple found themselves in the middle of the market district, the busiest area in the village. Naruto was rather uncomfortable being around so many people, on the account of how everyone looked down on him, but Zero Two was unfazed. She pushed her way through the mass of bodies, dragging Naruto along behind her and led him through a winding series of streets and alleyways. They eventually reached the village square where the bazaar had been set up. It was a weekly occurrence where locals from the smaller neighboring came to the Hidden Leaf with hopes of selling their wares. The expansive street was crowded with patrons and vendors alike. Zero Two pulled Naruto into yet another alleyway and led him up a narrow staircase where they came to a stop in front of a door.
Zero Two released his hand and began rummaging around in her pouch. "Er...don't mind the mess Darling. I'll have it cleaned up in no time," she said sheepishly as she pulled out a small key. The door unlocked with a soft click and the two stepped inside. Zero Two slipped off her sandals and disappeared down the short hallway in a pink blur. Naruto managed to kick off one of his own sandals before Zero Two returned just as fast as she left. Her face was flushed with traces of pink dusting her cheeks.
"I-I take it back. Just wait outside for a moment!" She proclaimed. Before he could respond, Naruto was shoved out the door by the flustered rosette and it slammed behind him. Naruto blinked and stared at the door for a few moments before breaking into a soft chuckle. It was always nice to see her embarrassed for a change. A devilish grin split his cheeks and he reached for the door handle. She had neglected to lock it. An almost evil chortle escaped the blonde as he slipped back inside.
Carefully taking off his other sandal, the blond silently stalked his way down the dark hallway. He reached the end and stepped into what appeared to be the living room. It modestly sized, with a couch resting in the center of the room situated between two short tables with lamp adorning each. Behind it there was dining table that sat in front of a large window overlooking the town square. To the right he spotted the kitchen, which was fairly small and a door that he assumed led to a bedroom. To his left there was a flatscreen television mounted on the wall in front of the couch and two more doors, one of which was wide open. "Mess" was quite the understatement. There was a mountain of dishes in the kitchen sink and half empty bottles of what he guessed to be honey littering the counter. Clothing of all sorts was haphazardly strewn all over the place, as if a hurricane of fabric had swept through the living room. Were those a pair of panties hanging from one of the lamps?
A pink whirlwind flew out of the open door to his left and began racing around the room. Slowly but surely, the clothes started disappearing piece by piece and the area began to look more presentable. Naruto couldn't help but smile as he watched his girlfriend frantically do laps around the living room. "I think you missed a sock underneath the couch," he casually pointed out.
Zero Two's eyes widened and she came to a crashing halt. Her head slowly craned toward the hallway where she spotted Naruto. He was leaning against the entryway with his arms folded across his chest, grinning at her.
"D-D-Darling?!" she stammered. "What are you doing in here?!"
"I got bored waiting," Naruto shrugged. He pushed off the wall and stepped into the room. "And here I thought girls were supposed to be tidy."
"N-No it's not what you think!" Zero Two stammered as she tossed the load of clothes in her arms into a nearby basket. The last thing she wanted was him to see the unkempt state of their apartment. She'd been under a lot of stress for the last week and had admittedly neglected in her housekeeping duties. And Yugao's bothersome cat didn't make her life easier, which was exactly why she kept him locked away in her keeper's room whenever she was't home. "And I told you to wait outside!" She whined.
Naruto smiled before poking her on the forehead. "This'll go by a helluva lot faster if you had some help ya know." She swatted his hand away and glared at the smirking blonde. "Besides, I've been wanting to try this out all day." He put his index and middle fingers on both hands together and crossed them in a T shape. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
"Eh?!" Zero Two's eyes widened as six identical copies of her boyfriend popped into existence.
Naruto glanced around the room at his clones and smirked victoriously. IT was the only technique from the Scroll of Seals that he managed to memorize before he was interrupted. It had the same basic principles as a regular clone jutsu, only he could pump more chakra into these which was what made them corporeal. "Yosh! I'll consider this a great success!" Zero Two could only stare in bewilderment. She knew the technique herself, but it was too draining on chakra. The most she had ever created at once was two. Hell, even the old geezer could only maintain four at a time. The fact that Naruto just made six of then and he didn't even look winded spoke volumes of his chakra reserves. She licked her lips at the thought.
"Alright boys!" Naruto clapped his hands, alerting his doppelgangers. "Let's say we give Zero Two here a hand in cleaning up this place neh?"
"On it boss!" they collectively sounded off before spurring into action.
"Wow," Zero Two whistled. "I'm impressed. My clones don't even listen to me. You're really something else Darling."
"Heh, what can I say," Naruto grinned, rubbing a finger under his nose in an exalted display of arrogance. "Guess I'm just awesome ya know!"
A quick jab to the gut courtesy of Zero Two dispersed shattered the blond's contemptuous aura, bringing him back down to earth. "But you're still a greenhorn compared to me Darling."
Naruto steadied his breath before casting a sidelong glance at the rosette. "That sounds like a challenge ya know."
Zero Two rolled her neck, shrugging the stiffness out of her shoulders as a she took an imposing stance. Naruto suddenly shot forward towards her legs, only to catch a jab to the side of his head. He recovered quickly and rounded on Zero Two, feinting a punch to her side. She sidestepped only to realize her mistake and was tackled onto the couch. A light tingling sensation ran up her sides and the girl burst into laughter.
"Ah!" Zero Two squealed mirthfully as Naruto continued to assault her with tickles. He honestly hadn't expected her to be ticklish but right now Zero two was like putty in his hands. "Stop it Darling~!" She pleaded between fits of giggles. She was thrashing about madly in an effort to escape her boyfriend's clutches but he was surprisingly stronger than she'd anticipated. "I said stop!"
Her fervent flailing finally paid off. One of her arms slipped out and in that brief moment her elbows found it's way to Naruto's face. "Ow!" Naruto hollered, his hands shooting to his face as he ceased his ministrations. "I think you broke my nose!"
Zero Two rolled over and sat up so that she was straddling the blond. Her face was tinted a deep shade of crimson and the muscles in her face were beginning to strain from laughing so hard. "Well I told you to stop!" she mewled before punching him in the arm. She snatched his hands away from his face only to find a playful smirk hiding beneath. "There isn't even any blood." She said before swatting him again.
"I don't know...I think I have internal bleeding ya know," Naruto grinned. He forced out cough for dramatic effect.
"You big baby." Zero Two leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips "There. All better?"
"I think I'll live. For now," he smiled, his tail wagging enthusiastically.
"Jeez...get a room," one of the clones smirked.
He was rewarded with a kunai to the forehead and popped out of existence in a cloud of smoke. The others froze as they stared at Zero Two. "Any other smart ass comments?"
"N-No ma'am!" They exclaimed before swiftly returning to their self-assigned tasks.
Naruto himself stared in horror. Where the hell did that kunai even come from? She wasn't even wearing any of her gear! "Neh...that could've easily been me ya know," he said cautiously, causing the girl's attention to shift back to him.
"You gotta keep them in check early or else they start getting mouthy. Besides, I can smell the real you Darling~!" she grinned.
"I see..." Naruto nodded shakily, accepting the answer. The pink haired beauty suddenly bounced to her feet and a glimmer of excitement flashed through her eyes. "Neh Darling, I changed my mind about that date. Let's stay in and watch a movie," she proposed.
"Hm..." Naruto contemplated the thought. It certainly beat having to go out and risk inciting an altercation with one of the villagers. By now he'd grown accustomed to their spite, but last night Zero Two showed she wasn't willing to tolerate it. He found it flattering that she was willing to stand up for him, even if he didn't really need her to. But at the same time he wanted to avoid causing any unnecessary problems if possible. "What did you have in mind?"
A smiled flashed across Zero Two's face as she produced a small case from behind her back. "Only the greatest blockbuster action flick to hit the silver screen this year!" Naruto's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. In her had Zero Two held a copy of the newest Princess Gale movie. It had only released just two months ago and was already the most critically acclaimed and highest grossing film in the series. He loved the Princess Gale's movies. Though he had this nagging thought in the back of his mind that he shouldn't mention such a fact out loud. In front of Zero Two at least.
"B-But...How?! Naruto all but bellowed out. "This shouldn't be on home video for another few months!"
"Now, now Darling...a maiden has to keep some secrets to herself~!" Her melodic, saccharine voice filled the air as she waved a finger at him. "Here you put it on and I'll grabs some snacks," With a quick flick of the wrist, she tossed the case to Naruto. He watched her skip past one of his clones, but not before flicking it on the forehead. The doppelganger wavered from her touch and she giggled at the silent curses thrown her way. Naruto gawked at the girl, completely mesmerized by the soft sashay of her hips. Portiere of roseate hair, sparkling viridian eyes, and a toothy, devil-may-care simper. She was absolutely beautiful in every way, shape, and form; more so than words could ever describe. At least any of the ones he knew.
"Oi! You with the face! Grab that jar of honey from the top shelf!" Zero Two barked at another of the clones.
"What? you're taller than I am!" Even if it only by a few centimeters, he wasn't wrong.
"But I want you to get it!"
"No, get it yourself!"
"Darling your shadow clone is being mean to me!"
Naruto couldn't help but chuckled at her shenanigans. He was starting to wonder which of them was the more childish one. Turning on a heel, he made his way towards the television that was mounted on the wall. He found a slot on the side which he assumed was for discs. "Huh...What was the question?" he asked coyly as he retrieved the movie from its case.
"Dahliiiing~!"
Yugao exhaled tiredly as she landed in front of her residence. It had been yet another long, but thankfully uneventful shift. She often found herself envying the regular ninja, who weren't normally subjected to work the nighttide hours. But she loved her village and wanted nothing more than to keep it safe so it was a sacrifice she was willing to make. After momentarily fumbling around in her pouch to retrieve her key, she went to unlock the door only to find it was already open. 'That girl I swear...' The violet-haired kunoichi had to pinch the bridge of her nose in an effort to keep calm. She already had a headache and the last thing she wanted was for it to develop into a migraine. Stepping inside her apartment, Yugao immediately took notice of the extra pair of sandals lying on the floor of the entry. They were much to wide in the soles to belong to herself or Zero Two. She pushed them to the side with her feet before slipping out of her own sandals with an alleviated sigh.
She slowly made her way towards the main segment of the apartment when a faint rumble caught her attention. As she drew closer, it grew louder in volume and more severe in intensity. Silently drawing her blade, Yugao stalked down the hallway and she noticed a flashing light in the living room. Upon entering the room she had to stifle a laugh. The source of those unholy bellows turned out to be a snoring Naruto, who was passed out on the couch. His arm and leg were hanging off the side and his mouth hung open as he peacefully snoozed away. And to add to the spectacle, Zero Two was curled up on this chest with her legs intertwined around Naruto's own that remained on the couch. Her mouth was slightly ajar, allowing a thin fiber of drool to escape that was starting to form puddle on the boy's chest. ON the floor in front of the couch was an opened, half empty jar of honey and a bag of jerky.
Yugao smiled as returned her blade to its sheathe. The source of light was the grainy background of the television which had been left on. If she had to guess they had fallen asleep watching a movie. Given the innocent nature of their embrace, she decided to let the teens sleep. They would also need their rest for tomorrow since Kakashi was their appointed Team Captain. Zero Two suddenly sneezed, though it came out as more of a snort, and mumbled something incoherent before settling once more. 'I sooo have to get a picture of this!' A sinister snicker pierced the peaceful silence that imbued the apartmant as Yugao slipped out of the room to retrieve her camera.