Maya was shocked by what Griffin had just texted...she just couldn't believe him, she wanted so much to be happy but she knew that Griffin was not reliable when it came to this matter he could just be making up all these...so she put her phone aside.
"Excuse me for a minute am not feeling so good," Stephano said as he pulled over and got out of the car leaving Maya inside, she dared not follow him since she did not understand what was going on with him... she didn't want to jump into conclusions and act on impulse as Griffin had already messed her mind up so much that she lost all rationality... she consoled herself and though that maybe the coffee had already started acting up on the poor guy... she had a lot going on in her head and could not come at a concrete conclusion to any of her thoughts...she wanted to ask him but then couldn't... she was afraid of so much and just maybe didn't want whatever Griffin had texted her to be the case... she hoped so much that Stephano didn't already know of her feelings for him
'could that be the reason, I knew it I'm just not that good enough for him who would love me any way am not even an original Kenyan like him'
she thought to herself. All she could do was wait in the car making all kinds of prayers and preparing for the worst.
' I just texted him have you seen the text ... I think he's reacting now have you told him yet he wants to hear it from you...lest he's not going to be at ease.' Griffin texted again
'Oh shit what have you done!?"
As he stood outside the car Stephano felt chocked and hot from the inside he took off his jacket but to no relief he then untied his locks and let the run down his shoulders loosening his belt.
He also didn't understand whatever was going on with him... he could say that he was horny and maybe that's why he'll felt uneasy butter in fact he was very stable...neither was it the coffee as this is what would have been happening to him on had he not taken the dose but much worse with all forms of hallucinations..
Maya could see him from the inside she now believed that Griffin had told him the entire story..she knew that whatever Griffin had texted him really affected him and she knew she'd already lost him ..
well actually Griffin only told Stephano not to stay out too late.
"Griffin is such an ass I am ruined "
she thought hopelessly now more than ever wishing Stephano had not offered to take her home she wanted to disappear.. she didn't want him to say anything as she knew it would just put her off.
" Breath Steph breath its not the coffee its not malaria... she's just your friend and nothing else a normal lady nothing special about her or could there be any intoxication stronger than that of a weed overdose,and if so what kind of drug is this?"
He asked himself leaning on the car with his head bowed between his hands which were placed on top of the car.. He closed his eyes and counted to ten and then backwards, this is a feeling he had never experienced something strange mixed with sequences of exhilarating euphoria... After what seemed like a kingdom come eternity Maya finally gathered the courage and called him in.
"hey its getting really late.. and I need to go home should I call you a cab, I can still drive myself you know...I think you've been intoxicated too much and this could be dangerous for the both of us,"
"No!...am fine I can still drive you home,I just felt a little dizzy ,it's been a while since I got out of the apartment everything is now confusing and the speeding cars are overwhelming but I think the fresh air had done me well I feel better sorry for making you worry and waiting,''
He then got in and they drove off but Maya noticed that Stephano did not even turn his head to face her, her stare made him feel uncomfortable so she turned her neck and faced the window out side. Thinking it would help, Stephano was still uneasy , he felt something was a miss but couldn't quite put his finger on it." Maya you have been silent for the past 30minutes your silence freaks me out makes me think my presence is making you uneasy are you only chatty when Griffin is around...you have changed since the last semester.. "
"Oh am sorry I didn't notice that I was silent ,I guess the conversations in my head were a bit too loud heheheehe the demons in my head..."
she giggled then went silent again. This was not the first time both of them were alone the last time they were alone Stephano was too sick to even remember the kiss he had given her in a delirious state as his fever had risen to sky rocket heights.. Maya remembered this time and was glad but still hopping Stephano didn't remember this cause if he had remembered, it would have been very awkward. Adding to the texts from Griffin this was also among the reason she had never expected to be alone with Stephano at any given time thus she not being prepared for this had nothing to say.. But had Stephano really forgotten that kiss from a few months ago??
" Look I know its weird and me offering to take you home was not expected but I needed to do this for you ,you have been my friend for long i guess I have been a bit too selfish all along...or maybe I just failed to notice what a great friend you are,you know am kind of jealous ,you and Griffin are actually too close to so I thought u never needed me as he was always there for you..then again av been so held up with my own problems and since Anna and I broke up I've also been a bit off and anti social forgive me my dear friend am sorry...I've not been a good friend forgive me.."
Maya was a bit passive on hearing him call her friend over and over again... she felt hurt coz it was clear Stephano would only see her as a good friend and nothing more even after Griffin had told him about her feelings for him, so she thought, she felt as if Stephano was rubbing it on her face and making it clear that he'd never see her as anything else...
"Maya you are still awfully silent why is my friend this silent?"
Maya was still silent but one more mention of the word friend, made her go wild and spill everything she'd been holding in for so long throwing caution into the wind...She didn't mind that whatever she was about to do would make her loose a friend in Stephano... she couldn't stay silent anymore so she burst open.
"could you please stop it with the dear friend term each time you refer to me?"
"wait Maya what are you talking about I just apologized to you for not being there as a friend to you... don't you want us to be friends anymore or is my mistake too big to be forgiven??"
"there you go again with the friend word" she quoted with her index fingers in the air as she said "Friend"
"Really ,yeah right a friend its fine ,its always been fine why am I even complaining, I should not even be making a big issue out of this, its my fault anyway, You never needed to ask for my attention as you already had it at your disposal all that while,Oh yes I spoiled you... you say Griffin and I are close and that you feel bad about it but have you ever asked yourself why I tend to always run to him???you probably would never guess as you are too busy with your own problems..."
"please make me understand you,look Maya am sorry I have apologize haven't I and I wouldn't want this to cost us our friendship"
"call me friend one more time and am out of this car"
"Maya don't be stupid we are on a highway its dangerously,"
Maya looked away swallowing painful choking sobs as she tried so hard not to burst into tears,Stephano reached out to Maya and placed his palm on Maya's folded arms.
"Maya, please forgive me, "he added Maya looked at the palm on her hands and pulled away
" I've always been there for you hoping and praying so hard that you would at least pay attention to me..(sob) I'm always with Griffin cause he understands me more than the man that I love...yes Stephano I really love you... but you chose to remain ignorant .let me just be honest with you...(sob)Griffin has been making fun of us since day one but seems you were too dumb to even notice how affected I was when you decided to date Tabby in your first year,I thought I could move on maybe she was my ticket to finally forgetting you ,my way out of these emotional prison I put myself in,,(sob) I even went out of the country got into an arranged marriage just to forget you but you just had to break up with Tabby (sob) ,you also had to get lost and Griffin pleaded with me to come back and help get you back home...that fateful night made me realise that I still had feelings for you...(sob) I've never thought of being anyone's rebound but for you I was willing,breaking Vjay's heart and my mother's heart as well as I walked out of the arrangement.(sob) You then got entangled with my former roommate who was just using you to get back at me for whatever reason and when she was done with you she went back to her boy friend...(sob) it's been three years now and the number of ladies you have dated since then is beyond count,(sob) and when I thought I could finally get rid of you after you and Anna started dating and it seemed both of you were so in love you had to fall sick making me postpone my trip back to my mother land and dared to kiss me only to pretend nothing happened when u got better...even after Griffin told you that I loved you, you still chose to act ignorant, you keep calling me friend to make it clear that, that's the only thing we can ever be...!"
Stephano looked at the fuel tank indicator and noticed it was running low on fuel as it pointed close to empty and it would only be a matter of time be4 the car stopped,Mayas home was not so far from where the were it would only take forty five minutes on foot but the again it was late in the night and it wasn't safe for either of them to be on the road at that time... the car stopped Maya's home was all the way in Rwaka a small town outside the Capital Nairobi.
"what the F*** the gas tank is empty and its getting late we need to find the nearest petrol station so I have to pull over,"
Maya expected nothing new from him his indifferent attitude at the moment made her realise how much of a fool she had made of herself... expressing herself was all for nothing. But why did she even try? she understood that she was only adding to his problems and felt so stupid for what she had done,she knew how dramatic she could get,she felt guilty and wished she never brought up the topic anyway she felt that even if Stephano had acted differently she would still mess up ...He was her weakness and no matters how hard he pushed her away she still felt sorry for the guy.
Stephano pulled over and got out of the car,he picked up his phone and tried to call Griffin but there was no answer from him, Frustrated he kicked the tire of the car and then leaned on the car staring into space as vehicles passed right before his eyes.
Maya tried to control her tears but she just couldn't hold them in, the car stopping was the least of her concerns, Stephano was her main concern at the moment.. What had she just done to the guy...she knew she lost him for real.
"I'm so stupid, I ruined everything I always mess up everything why did I even burst like that ,Damn it and Damn Griffin to!"
she hit her head with her wrist as she contemplated from inside, she dared not come out of the car. Just then Stephano bent and held himself on the window right on time to see Maya hit her self
she was not aware that Stephano was looking at her as she had faced the other side,Stephano saw how she hurt herself slapping her face and banging her head constantly calling herself stupid. He didn't want her to catch him looking at her and at the same time he wanted her to stop hurting herself without having to stop her himself thus make the situation even more complicated by making her feel even more stupid so he dropped his keys and got her distracted... Maya was startled and she immediately stopped punishing her self...He then bent and picked them up getting back into the car.
" Hey let me call an Uber for you its not safe out her ,let me bring your car tomorrow afternoon I might miss my classes again..."
Maya was silent she had no strength to argue in fact she did not want to.
" No need let me call my brother Sameer
it will be more convenient,don't bother you are the one who needs an Uber back home am sorry for everything,"
"Fine but am not leaving until he comes here for you...Maya one more thing please don't feel in for me tomorrow spare yourself the hustle its high time I stopped taking advantage of your good nature and stated facing my own problems...just forget about it."
by this Stephano was not actually being indifferent he just didn't want to trouble Maya even more but Maya misunderstood him once again...
" mmmh what should I say..?"
Honestly she felt hurt so bad that she couldn't understand how ungrateful he could get anyway he'd never asked her to do it...so what did it mean if she just obeyed him and stopped... she marked this as the worst day of her life. she got out of the car and stood by the door leaning on it as Stephano followed her.
"Maya I didn't mean to hurt you by playing dumb,it not that av also not heard you, I didn't mean to sound rude either but there is no need in watering a dead flower we want things that we cannot have we wish for things that we possibly can't get..Spare yourself the hurt Maya, I am the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody let alone to you and as early as now let me just set you free before you are completely imprisoned ...Am sorry so sorry ...this is what I have been avoiding for the longest time...but then..."
"I had to bring it up..you know what just stop it forget about everything and just keep quiet I never asked for anything from you and I wasn't going to either stop apologizing, I am the fool who helplessly fell for you and couldn't read in between the lines ..so just go home I have nothing on you my bro-man in fact I am so sorry ...my brother will be here soon I will be fine .."
" I said am not leaving you here alone it's not safe!"
"its not safer with you around either just go don't feel obliged either... I can take care of myself..."
Maya showed no emotions on her face as she spoke in fact she was numb,she stared into space as blank tears fell from her eyes down her chicks making no effort to wipe them.
Avoiding another argument she quickly got into the car and locked herself inside leaving Stephano outside.. "LEAVE !" she exclaimed and drew the glass window up completely locking herself inside...
"Maya! Maya! I am not leaving Maya open up!" he tried calling her out but Maya put her headphones on and shut her eyes laying on the sit with her back against it. It hurt her so much but there was also no need to keep on hopping for something that had shortly been made clear would never happen...she was somehow happy she finally came clean consoling herself that it was probably better that way...
Stephano felt bad but he was helpless he couldn't do anything, he called a cab and left as Maya could only watch him go and disappear out of sight fro her rear mirror...