I don't want to pity myself for such reasons.
I knew there was a day where I needed to let her go to do what she wants no matter what.
I just want her to be happier with the new person who would love her as I did.
Even knowing that I would suffer over and foremost.
It's my fault.
I fell in love with her... sorry... I'm sorry...
Sorry if I used my heart that way... But...
"It's so unfair..."
My body started to trembling and my voice began to break, every part of my body was heating up. I thought the Aircon was off as I tried to turn it on. But it was active.
I realized that my temperature kept was hot, very hot. My eyes were getting blurred, is this because of frustration...? No. I remembered This happened to me already when I was a kid. Why did it rush again? I remember it happened when I heard the news about my parent's death. I got sick in 40 days and on the verge of death.
I clenched my arms and buried myself in my hands. Whether she has a boyfriend or not is not my care... is it...?
I wiped my tears with my palm. My black hair was soaked with my sweats, I desperately just sat on the ground floor crying.
My heart feels like tearing into pieces...
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"Yuuki... come outside, the guest will be here sooner."
I heard Akane call me outside. I just ignored her and wrapped myself in a blanket and buried myself beneath the pillow. This is the first time I've ever felt so sorrowful and helpless.
"I'll be right there..."
Even though It was a muffled voice, I know she can still hear me despite that it was like a whisper.
I got myself up and sat on the bed. I look around to my room on every side of it. The wall which is dyed in purple was dark blue with the room isolated being still dark.
I walk into the Mirror and stared at my eyes which I thought would be swollen. But it wasn't. I blink several times as I thought I was dreaming... But I heard Akane was calling me before. When I was about to walk away from the mirror something that sent a cold to my spine, stopped me. Why the fuck was my sweat shorts wet? Also, the smell is so weird... I took my shorts off and brought them to my face.
I tried sniffing it.
"Smells like blood..."
I immediately blurt out blood, sniffing it again making sure that it was blood.
Blood.
It's weird...
After sniffing it. I tossed it in the laundry basket filled with used clothes.
My shirt is full of sweats
That is what I thought.
I took off my clothes showing my forming six-pack abs and lean body. I tossed them in the laundry basket and glanced at the mirror one more time before going to the washroom.
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"Even my cock was wet in blood... Did I pee blood?... But..... Wait could it be...?"
A thousand thoughts was in my mind but only one of those made me stiffed. My heart was beating so fast as my body produces sweats once again. I subconsciously put my hand on my mouth.
Did I took Akane... Virginity?
A cold went to my spine and the goosebumps rises in the thought.
Did Akane went to my room without me noticing? But there's no way I can't notice anything invidual going into my room. I would be alerted if someone walk into my room even if they can be silent as they are. But there is a possibility for that.
She probably put a drug on my food or drink earlier.
Regaining myself. I grit my teeth and couldn't help but curse inwardly.
So what if her first time is mine? Her boyfriend would probably have a several times grinding her... Haaa...
Again my heart felt like was stabbing or grinding something sharp... Discomfort.
It's hurt but I'll bear it. This isn't the first time something like this happen.
But the question is.
How long?
I shook my head and begun to wash myself.