If I'm right, the main leads in isekaied books treated their servants with open hands and gained loyalty and generosity in return. Which means, I'll do the same. I can't help but grin at my intelligence. And, with no further ado, let's do what I do the best. That will be 'Act'. Acting like an 'angel'.
I twirl around to face the maid- Rin. [FYI, I'm oh-so-good at remembering names and faces. Perks of being a health care therapist] I plaster over a generous and kind-hearted smile, radiating as much warmth as it could. I bring over a change in expression which overall changes my character.
"Dear Rin" I say, my voice as delicate as Cinderella's glass slippers (bad comparison, I know)
"How are you today?" I ask, my warm eyes were filled with compassion
"I-I a-apologize, Young Miss" Rin starts to bow and ask for continuous apology
Wait.... Why is she pleading? Did she do something wrong? Am I perhaps wrong? Was I not "kind" enough? Or is Rin an idiot? I'll probably go with the latter.
"Raise your head, Dear" I continue with my act "it should be this Miss, who should be thanking you for looking after me" I say, pointing to my body.
"Pardon me?" Rin asks. She is having a queer expression of question on her face, looking at me as if I'm a runway clown, pretending to be her friend. In a way, maybe I 'am' doing that....
Looking at her face, I know I just did something totally wrong. I try to cover it up before I'm named 'Runway clown'.
"Um... Rin, I t-" I start with an inaudible gibberish monolog when Rin's thoughtful voice interrupts me
"Reika-Sama" she says "I a-"
She opens her mouth to say another sentence, when I cut off her words
"Why are you calling my name?" I question her. My delicate voice dissappearing as my authoritative voice takes command. How does she know my name? And why is she addressing this body owner with my name?
"P-pardon m-me Young Miss" she repeats her pleading ritual
"Sigh" I exhale at this repetitive farce "continue with what you were saying earlier" I order her, after flipping away my confused thoughts. Unbothered to say in an 'angelic' manner
"Ah... I'm really grateful for your mercy" releaved, she continues "I wanted to remind you that it is time for your lunch, should I bring it here?" she asks. She lowers her gaze as soon as she finished talking.
Food! That's right, it's been hours and I haven't even had a sip of water. Not to forget, that irrational incident.
"Yes, bring it to me" I order, extremely overjoyed at the mention of food. The maid bows politely before rushing out the room.
"Phew" I exhale a much needed sigh. I take a good look at the room, intently glancing at objects to catch my attention. The room is a mix of Japanese and Western fittings. Or rather, the room was Japanese to begin with but there were a few western renovations. It was kept tidily, as if skillful hands polished over the chamber. It was perfectly organized and well-kept, the perfect place for clean freaks like Hibiki. An image of a tall, polite four eyes lady rests in my mind.
"She would always keep her surroundings spick-and-span, organizing everything, even the sequence of the discarded papers" I say out loud for the occupant of room, which is only me "heck! she once scolded me so badly for keeping the caps off my pens" I shake my head as if to unload that memory.
I walk around the room in attempt to find something useful, when I come across a basic, bland ledge. What is distinctive about this undistinctive wooden shelf is that, this is the only normal fitting in this lavishly abnormal moneyed chamber. And also, the mammoth bed obstructs one's view for this ledge. It is placed in the rear of the bed. I scan the subjected shelf and find only normal books, until my gaze lands on a shabby book. I hurriedly take out the book and get a good look at it. The book did look so unkempt from one glance but it has signs of continuous use. The edges were crumpled, the papers were yellowish, there was some ink smeared at places. There were no papers coming out or anything, but such a book will be disposed the second anyone layed their eyes on this ruined piece.
I delicately flip the page, afraid that the papers may come loose any second, if handled carelessly. I read out the first page:
"Reika Hanabusa is my name. The owner of the book. The second daughter/step-daughter of Futaaro Hanabusa, Prime Minister of Japan from 1898. I am the crown princess candidate, next to the first daughter of Hanabusa/my step-sister. However, I know I will be the future empress of this blessed country.
I am starting a journal to..."
"This lady must be quite confident on her skills, or rather over-confident perhaps" I scoff
Somehow, no matter how much I ignore it. There's this alarming feeling I get, every time I read another word from this journal, telling me "I'm all screwed up" Ssshhh... I shudder at the thought.
This journal is hidden deep behind the gigantic bed, meaning the owner of the bedroom chamber is the book owner. Which means book owner and this chamber owner is one person. And this person is me- Ahhh I mean, Reika Hanabusa. I'm speaking gibberish, do you know what that means? Yes, I'm screwed. I never knew I'll be living in the body of such a big shot. I only wanted a bystander life, and this one definitely doesn't fulfill the need.
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Meanwhile, the maids rushed to the royal kitchen.
"The Miss woke up" a feeble looking maid says, gossiping with the other maids beside her
"Looks like my prayers were unanswered" another one scoffs
"This is serious" Rin interrupts, not knowing the gossip from earlier. She was wholly anxious about her Miss's condition "she was thanking me!" she says, her eyes wide open
"Did she finally lose herself completely?" the one who scoffed earlier, asks, her face full of dissatisfaction towards the Miss
"Yuki!" Rin yells sharply, glowering at the girl "Mind your words! Disrespect towards Young Miss is disrespect to this country" Rin says, her voice high enough to be heard by the scurrying maids in the kitchen
"There you go again" Yuki gives her an eye roll "Reika Hanabusa's one-of-a-kind admirer!" Yuki counters back accompanied with a scowl, flinging away from Rin. "Add tons of walnuts in her dessert" Yuki adds turning away from the royal kitchen, her voice, audible enough for the kitchen occupants.
She starts walking, crudely, to Reika's chambers "though it won't help her much" she whispers to herself, keeping her voice low "a presumptuous, ignoramus Young Lady of house Hanabusa; Reika Hanabusa" she scorns, highly contempt towards the lady.
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I hear a knock on the door. I jerk to a nearby comfy seat and make myself comfortable. Another knock and I hear a question together it.
"This is Rin. May I enter your room, Young Miss?" a familiar voice asks me "We have brought your lunch" Rin says.
"You may come in" I order, with 2 seconds of reasoning
The door opens up and distinctive aroma spreads, covering the entire room. I breathe in the flavorful smell and my stomach starts grumbling. The maids bring the food to a table in front my chair. And what I see is, disappointment.
My lunch consists of a soup, appetizers and a main course. If this was my past self, I would be overjoyed at the food presented to me. But not now. Coz all the food consists only of vegetables!! Vegetables!
"Is this a freaking joke?" I mumble, barely audible to the nearby maids
"Pardon?" I hear a voice, but chose to ignore it
I didn't move through different timelines just to eat veggies! I agree they are highly fibrous, highly nutritional and healthy. But what about meat? It has a higher value of protein in it. It helps in body growth, it is an immediate energy booster! It has so many benefits... Then why? I can already feel my eyes full with tears. Real tears.
I read the journal thoroughly, but never knew, was Reika vegetarian? I did think she was an idiot, but I never imagined her to be this big of a fool. I bite my lower lip at my own remark.
Could it be.... I hesitate, could it be a scenario where the young lady is secretly bullied by her maids. I scrutinize my eyes, nodding for approval at my absurd analysis.
"The young lady is still recuperating" I hear Rin's meek voice "the physician has kindly asked to prevent any further deterioration of your health"
"What? But I'm perfectly fine" I complain in my casual tone "I'm sure that doctor or physician is a big quack"
One of the many things I learned from the journal: Reika Hanabusa was a bitc- Ahem! She was a conceited nimwit. Throwing tantrums on daily basis, getting agitated over anothers` success, always maintaining an enraged aura, getting on people's bad side. It is inevitable that she is a b*tch. She also had a bad attitude, which means I don't painstakingly need to appear "angelic" in front of anyone, as Reika Hanabusa. That's precisely the reason, I'm embarrassed about wht happened with Rin a while ago.
"I apologize Young Miss" Rin restarts her 'apology' "the phy-" she continously bowed while I cut her sentence in between
"Alright, alright, stop your pleading" I say, tired of her pleading "say, did you get a diploma in "apologizing"?" I ask Rin jokingly
"Pfft" I hear a muffled laughter from the maids side. I turned to face them, but no one was laughing nor smiling. One maid did catch my attention, she was tall, maybe 5'7. An erect body line, as if the body has undergone strict discipline. She had a poker face right now, however, she looked like a straight arrow. A serious and hard-working type.
"My food is getting cold" I speak my mind out loud. I quickly turn to my food. "My food~" I call out to my lunch tray lovingly. I take my first long-awaited bite and believe me, it's the yummiest, most heavenly morsel I have ever eaten. Expectedly, I gobble up the dishes presented to me, while repeating praises of relish for the delicious food. Moving on, I scoop out a fresh spoonful salad from the bowl. I sniff the spoon and suspend it mid-air between my mouth and the salad bowl as if contemplating whether to eat or not. I chomp the spoonful salad, a face of 'couldn't care less' decorating me. I take 3-4 more spoonfuls, when I feel my vision blackening. Nausea hitting me hard, I clutch my stomach, wishing to ease the pain. I hear sounds of glass breaking, clink and clang, and I feel myself hitting the ground sharply. I couldn't see anything, my vision left me earlier. A strong sense of nostalgia flew by me, taking away my consciousness together it.
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"SPLASH"
I felt a weighted impact thrown on me, disappearing seconds later. I shut my eyes close, preventing the liquid from seeping into my eyes. I was desperately gasping for air like a mad dog, driven to the brink of death. I used my hands to wipe away the falling water on my eyes, I made sure the water never entered my mouth. I was busy attending myself. And then, I felt a sharp, raw pain at my forehead.
"Reika! You wretched wench!" a rowdy, boisterous crooked girl yanked my hair.
"Ahhh!" I cried out, loudly at the throbbing pain, my eyes were filled with salty tears. I felt my throat scorching up.
"Aren't you their "Angel"?" the wild, rowdy girl asked, snobbishly "why are they not coming to help you?" her tone changed to a pitying one, yet the deceit was obvious. I shut my eyes even tightly in response.
"HAHAHA!" "HAHAHA!" the delinquent, together with her lackeys filled the school backyard with their snotty laughter. The laughter pierced my ears, I helplessly looked on. My hands tried to free my hair from the delinquent's grip.
"Pathetic loser" the delinquent spit out and yanked me away, I fell on the ground, colliding with the wall.
The delinquent made a loathsome face. "They never came. You were brought here everyday for the past week, yet no one came. Not your family, not your teachers and not your "friends". Everyone was just using you. You never held a meaning in their life. They just took your kindness for granted" the delinquent babbled on bitterly "You wanted attention, and you got it, you attention-seeking whore!" the delinquent kicked me on my stomach.
"Let's leave" the delinquent's lackey said "time's up, we can deal with her later"
That girl asked them to leave, because she felt guilty. Guilty, because due to her mean looks and foul language she easily became an outcast. And I was the first one to befriend her.
"Tch" the delinquent spat on me as she went her way. All her lackeys, I helped all of them one way or another. They briskly left me, after giving me a detestable look, following their leader.
"Ha.... Haha....ha" I laughed, gulping away my trickling tears. "Hnng.... Annngg" soon, my laughter changed to weeping, shallow sobs left me. My throat was empty. My arm was bleeding from hitting the wall. My cheeks were swollen, tears rolling down my puffy, red eyes.
Why? Why does no one come? Wasn't I always ready to help them? Wouldn't I always solve their problems? I gave up my position for student council to another person, despite being elected for it; I intentionally got bad grade, just to provide first position to others; I would always fill in for cleanup duty as a replacement. I always did tasks which everyone hated! Then why? Why is no one coming to help me!?
When I'm in a classroom, the bruises and cuts are visible from my uniform. Yet, the teachers who praised me whenever they saw me, never said a word. They didn't even bother asking if I'm alright. My friends... Does it matter to them if I'm alive or dead? One of them came to me and said:
"I'm so sorry, but I can't do anything. Please hold on"
But all I did was just smile. I wanted to shout and yell that it hurts!... It hurts so much inside. Not physically but mentally.
My mother died while giving me birth. I only knew father as my family, I tried to make him happy. But in the end, I would only get remarks such as 'devil' 'Murderer' 'killer'. I didn't know what my fault was, I tried. I tried my level best, I was number 1 in sports, academics and every field my father was interested in. Yet, I got a cold shoulder. That's why, I turned to my only sister- Shinomiya. She treated me like a repulsive monster. She was always on my neck. And so, I turned away from her too. Outside home, I thought, maybe if I could be good and help everyone, father will recognize my efforts. He will look at me, with the same warmth in his eyes, just like he looks at Shinomiya. Like a father looks at his daughter.
Nothing... Nothing I thought happened. I gained nothing... Nothing I wanted. Was my kindness not enough? Or.... was it more than enough?
I try hard to stop my overflowing tears. I came home and am now bandaging my wounds in my room, wandering deep into my thoughts. Shinomiya. She's kind to everyone yet so evil to me. Father is kind to Shinomiya yet despises me. I'm kind to everyone yet no one helped me. I hate them all. They all used my kindness as if a charity business. Anger fumed in every cell of my body, I hate them! I hate them! I hate them! I JUST HATE THEM! Why did they use my kindness, if they couldn't reciprocate it! I'm fed up! So fed up of this fake drama! Shinomiya is ev- wait... I doubled my eyes. A reckless idea forming in my conscience, Shinomiya is evil to me, yet kind to others..... That's right. I can be the same. Kindness and evil can co-exist in me!....
That was how my present self was, made-up by an imprudent and hasty decision. It was supposed to make me or break me. And the outcome showed me the answer. It broke me...
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