Here I am, with Anges, Bethany and Ivy. We're regulars at Sensei Lee's Bubble Tea Palace. Believe me; it's no palace. On the outside, this is the average coffee shop you'd find in Chinatown. The owner hardly spent a dime building this place, and it shows. What did he think when he put aqua chairs by orange table and burlesque curtains? The disco lights hurt my eyes and the music sucks. What's even worse is Agnes wailing the cringeworthy lyrics to the horrific nineties music. One would think, what the hell am I doing here?
As we take group selfies in various angles and pouts, I can't help but feel that we look like we belong on a Christmas tree. I've got every shade of purple imaginable on my hair. Bethany has huge pink hair to go with that big mouth of hers. Agnes has blue pigtails with heart-shaped clips. Then there's Ivy with hair down to her knees; her scalp reminds me of a four-leaf clover.
I like it here, even though it looks like hooker's boudoir. Wanna know the funniest bit? The owner's name isn't Lee; it's Abdul. I can never understand what he's saying because of his horrid leopard print scarf. He's a good lad though, always knows what we want. Ivy has a black coffee and nothing else. Bethany has honeydew melon milk tea with black tapioca balls swimming at the bottom, a bowl of noodles and a burger. Agnes has... I don't know; it looks weird and gross. The tapioca and red anku beans drowning in pale green slush with custard, cheese and grated Oreos on top.
My drink is the best. Abdul only makes 13 of them a day. It's thirteen bucks for a cup, but it's one of the most decadent and delicious drinks I have ever had in my life. Just thinking about it gives me the food equivalent to an orgasm. It's my number one anxiety-killer-blues-killing drink: Sensei Lee's Super-Sparkly-Unicorn Latte. Instagram filters aren't necessarily with the rainbow swirls, glittering cream and chocolate sprinkles. Nobody knows, but me that there is alcohol in this... just a little bit though.
All three of my friends gaze in awe. Here they are sitting with one of the biggest make-up and beauty vloggers on the internet. If only I felt like a superstar. "I'm pregnant."
"Again!" Bethany squeals. "Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to have a baby?"
"My channel is losing subscribers," I moan, holding back tears. "Christian's left me. So half of my sponsorships are gone."
Bethany slams the table. "What's that got to do with having a baby?"
"YouTube will stop paying me, and I'll have no money to do anything."
"Why don't you get a job like the rest of us?" Bethany asks.
"I can't work for somebody." The thought of me working forty hours a week for modern-day slavery makes me cringe. "I'm my own boss."
"Did your sugar daddies kick the bucket or something?" Agnes says, giggling. She's such a sadistic bitch!"
"Well, I can't have an abortion, my family will be furious."
Beth nods. "And it's illegal!"
"Even though I don't have mine anymore," Agnes adds, "they were still the best thing that ever happened to me. I left them alone ONCE and BAM! They get taken off me to live with their dad and his new trophy wife." We all look at her in disbelief.
"It was more than once." Bethany waves her arms around as she speaks. "How many times have I come around your house and you're not there?"
Agnes nods. "Okay, it was more than once. I'm only human. We all make mistakes. I just needed one more chance to prove myself."
I hear Bethany hold back a laugh. I bring up the good night we had. "I thought the reason you lost custody of your kids was that you got drunk one night you started humping every traffic light you could see." We were naughty. If it weren't for the aftermath, we'd be bragging with pride now.
Bethany buries her head in her hands. "Please, we're not allowed to talk about the traffic light incident!"
"Jesus Christ!" I nudge Bethany's elbow. "Calm down!" The reason she hates it when we bring up the traffic light incident is that she wet herself in front of her crush, and the pee went on his sneakers.
"I've wanted to have a baby so so long," Bethany says, tucking into a burger. "But you lot can just get pregnant just like that."
"So?" I sigh. She can always adopt a kid if she's that desperate. She can go on Tinder and hook up with someone on there. My stomach always churns when she talks about her desire for a baby. She gets mad when we say that we're pregnant.
"You don't even like children," Bethany snaps. I can see where she's coming from. It is true. I hate kids, but mine is an exception of course. My cousin has the most of the time. Her maternal instinct is better than mine. I can see Abdul at the counter laughing at our banter. "You just dump them at your cousins."
Ivy shrugs her shoulders and raises her cup. "I don't want kids."
We all stare at her as if she's crazy. She says nothing all the time, then comes up with this. I don't blame her, though.
"I don't believe in it," Ivy explains, "what's the point in making kids when we can't look after the kids already in the world? I've got no maternal instinct. Rita's kids are beautiful, my god-children are great, my nieces and nephews are awesome, but I wouldn't want them myself."
"What if you change your mind when you're older?" Agnes asks.
Ivy shakes her head, bringing her coffee closer to her lips. "Believe me; I won't! By the way Lavender, I'm sorry to hear about Christian."
"I'm sure I'll get over it," I lie. Christian and I have broken up and gotten up together so many times. This time, I think we're over for good.
"Does that mean I can have him?" Agnes asks. I hope she's joking. Surely friendship is more important than swooning over a hot guy!
Abdul approaches us with a smile. "Okay?"
"We're good thanks," I say.
"Just to let you guys know, I'll be closing for a few weeks?"
"Really?" I look around to see how my friends react. Ivy is stunned and says nothing. Agnes looks as if she's going to spit some of her drink out. Bethany widens her eyes. "Why?"
"I need to fly back home to see my family," Abdul replies with his phone in his hands. "Not seen then in four years."
"Where are you from again?" Bethany asks.
"Well, my father was born in Iran, and my mother is Filipino. I'm the only one from my family that doesn't live in Germany now."
"So you're going to Germany?" I don't know why he doesn't say Germany.
Abdul nods.
I don't know what we're going to do with Friday afternoons when this place closes. I'm not going to have the best tea of my life, and I think I'll miss this place and the atmosphere.
There's one thing that I miss more, though, and that's my Christian.