"Melody? Are you there? It is me, Bellavarn. I just wanted to speak for a moment. If you could open up? It won't be long, I promise."
Bellavarn winced as he heard the desperation in his own voice. Still, this was something he had to do.
There was silence from inside the small home. Long enough and Bellavarn knocked again.
"Melody? Please. I just need five minutes. If you could open the door?"
More silence. Nothing but the rustling of the neighs of nearby carriage horses trying to stay warm.
Bellavarn took a couple of steps back. Smoke rose from the chimney. There was definitely someone here. Knocking again, he spoke louder.
"Melody. If you are there-"
*Creak*.
The door opened. Brown eyes peered out of the darkness.
"What is it."
The voice was meek, tiny.
"Melody. I wanted to speak for a moment. Can I-"
"No."
*Bang*
"Ow..."
Bellavarn groaned as the door slammed on his foot. The door openly slightly.
"Leave, please."
"I can't just leave. Please, just a few minutes."
"No!"
*Bang* *BANG*.
Bellavarn held in his cries as the door hit his foot harder.
"Young Master-"
"Stay back you two. This is between Melody and me."
He braced for another slam, but it never came.
"Melody?"
"Fine. Come in."
Bellavarn beamed.
=
The inside of the home was sparse—a table in the center with a rickety bed off to the side. There was chopped wood near the fireplace. Not many other possessions were present in the room. Knick knacks, wooden bowls, and spoons. Dreary.
Melody stood at the other end of the table. She was wrapped in a thick warm blanket. Her brown hair was tied back with a wooden fork. A bruise still circled her eye.
Bellavarn shuffled his feet, not knowing exactly what to say now that he was here.
"Well?"
Her words acted as the trigger.
"What happened at the mansion? You couldn't have been gone more than a half-hour between the time I saw you leave me and when... "
A pause.
"What happened? Who did this to you?"
Melody was silent. She looked into the fire. It shimmered in her hazel eyes. Bellavarn's voice was soft as he continued.
"Was it happening the entire time you were with me? I am sorry that I didn't notice anything. I won't make excuses. I thought we became close over the last week."
There was no response as Melody gazed at the crackling fire.
"Did you not think you could come to me? I would have... I could have... done something. Anything!"
Bellavarn fidgeted at the silence. The blank expression didn't suit her. She should be angry, furious, depressed, anything. Just not this.
"Can you- Can you at least tell me who? I can hunt them down for what they did. Or I can have the soldiers do it. Whoever touched you doesn't deserve to draw breath-
"It was me."
Bellavarn halted.
"What was that?"
"I said..."
Melody's gaze swiveled to stare at Bellavarn. Fire played in her eyes. Yet Bellavarn felt they were more chilling than his Father's.
"It was me."
Furrowed brows, open jaw. Not working. Blinking. Shut mouth. Open. Head shake.
"I did it. I harmed myself."
More head shaking. A missed step. Shakily righting himself, Bellavarn spoke.
"I don't believe you.
"You don't have to. I. Did. It. To. Myself. I gave myself the black eye. I cut my feet on the glass that I broke. I fell onto the shards willingly. I bruised myself. I cut myself. I burned MYSELF!"
The room was spinning. The earth felt like it would crumble. Logic. Use logic. Think.
"No. You couldn't have. Not all of it. The bruises were weeks old."
"I threw myself down the stairs. Every. Day."
"The glass-"
"An old window I found in storage, I shattered it and walked over.
"The black-eye is-"
"I ran myself into the stove in the kitchen. You could probably still find the dent my face made."
"Burning?"
"Fire poker."
"No. No, no, I don't believe it. Mother said you were-."
"Raped? No, I tricked her by using pigs' blood. Remember the bacon for breakfast?"
Bellavarn felt his world crumbling. He clutched at his chest, hyperventilating. He heard Melody scoff. Was this real? Was his world real? Was it- No. No. There were holes in her story.
Slowly but surely, he refiltered air into his lungs.
"You had no reason to do such a thing. It makes no sense."
"No? Look around."
Melody gestured to the room around her.
"I am poor. I needed money. I figured I'd blackmail the Duke. It worked too. Your mother convinced him to get me a fortune once I leave his lands. But I need to wait until Winter is over to travel."
"You had no need to go to such lengths! Hurting yourself. Resorting to blackmail. I told you, didn't I? The pen. I said I'd talk to father into giving you a bonus. If you stayed, even if you played with my heart, you could have gained so much more."
Bellavarns argument was rock solid. The entire plan made no sense. Maybe in the beginning, but she must have realized how he felt along the way. She could have used him to milk the family dry. Instead, she squandered all that for a quick payout? The Melody that taught him was smarter than that.
There was a harsh, throaty laugh as Melody doubled over.
"You really are a fuckin idiot, aren't you? Do you really think I wanted to spend time playing girlfriend to the son of a Duke? To be dragged into politics and courtly affairs? I never wanted any of that! I wanted money! Coin! Jewelry and fancy clothes-"
"I would have given it all to you!"
"Will you OPEN your EYES! You got played. Forget about me. I'll be gone in less than a month when the snows dry and then you can forget I ever existed. Or hit yourself over the head for all I care."
Melody waved an arm in dismissal.
Bellavarn was imploding. The world was getting smaller and smaller. His vision turning white again. With desperation, he grasped onto anything.
"...Your sisters."
"Fake! Made up. Fictitious! I taught you that word, remember?"
His sense of self was crumbling. He could hear bells ringing and the swirling of a ceiling fan. It was happening all over again. Again, his world turned round, repeating itself. Bellavarn's first love cheated on him. Sallow's first love played him for a fool. This wasn't fair. How did he deserve this? No. Melody was lying. To protect him. From someone. A monster. A politician. Someone kidnapped her sisters!
"Are you going to get out now?
Clarity.
Bellavarn came back. Rummaging in a coat pocket, he retrieved his journal.
"I don't believe you."
"Huh?"
He turned the pages, finding the last and tearing it out.
"I said I don't believe you. The Melody I remember is brilliant. A woman capable of immense strength and kindness.
He handed the page over to Melody, showing him exactly how he saw her.
"You're not someone who'd harm yourself. You wouldn't go through so much pain for simple coin. You were smart enough to play a long game, even if it wasn't what you desire.
Melody held the piece of paper in her hands, her shining eyes examining.
"I can tell you aren't happy sitting here, in the cold. I know you are a good person. Whether your sisters exist doesn't matter. I don't care that what you lied about. You stole my heart the moment you kissed me. It will always belong to you. For now and forever."
Melody was quiet as she held the paper in her hands. Her face a mask. Bellavarn looked into her eyes and saw the light. In the darkness hid her light.
Melody made eye contact. His own icy blue eyes reflected in her warm hazel ones.
"I..."
Bellavarn smiled as he saw the flicker of hope.
"I didn't realize how truly naive you were."
The paper crumbled and flew into the fire.
"NO!"
He dove into the fire, scattering the logs. Winter furs burned. Hands clutched a scorched piece of paper. He tore off his burning clothes and stamped them out.
"Are you done? If so, get out."
Bellavarn clutched the piece of paper in burnt fists, panting heavily.
"Well? Get. Out."
Bellavarn stared at Melody, but he didn't see her.
"GET! OUT!"
=
Bellavarn tumbled out the door. It slammed shut behind him. He wanted to lay there in the snow, but Kerv and Henry lifted him out. He heard them arguing with each other as he stared at his hands, still holding the crumpled and burned piece of paper. It was doubtful that there was still anything salvageable. Bellavarn felt it would crumble if he twitched. So, he held still.
"Oslo."
Oslo broke off from holding back Kerv and Henry from storming the house. It looked like Oslo wanted to do the same but had enough common sense it was the wrong decision.
"Young master, what is it?"
"I would like you to arrange for a carriage."
"We have a carriage right here young master."
"No, a second one. Have it pick up Melody by tomorrow afternoon."
"Sir, I don't understand, why would-"
Bellavarn interrupted the older man, continuing as if the butler wasn't talking.
"The carriage is to take her to one of two destinations."
Oslo and company showed clear signs of worry as they stared at their young lord. None of them could speak up. Kerv and Henry held their weapons tightly. Everyone eavesdropped on the conversation. They didn't hear every word, but they heard enough. The young lord's questions. Melody's revelation. Bellavarn's disbelief and proclamation of love. They heard the scuffle and could see the burn marks on his hands, noting his coat was missing.
None of it registered. He simply spoke in the same halting monotone.
"The carriage is to bring her either to the edge of my Father's land or to the stables back at the mansion. It is her choice. If she changes her mind, in either direction, at any time, the carriage is to turn around. Is that understood?"
Oslo gave a solemn bow.
"Yes, young master. It will be done."
"Good."
A ghost of a smile passed along his face. Bellavarn was guided to the carriage and it trekked its way back home where he collapsed into oblivion, shielding a small, round, crumpled, and burnt piece of paper.
=
The sun edged across the horizon as Bellavarn sat in the field next to the stables. No carriage in sight.
The moon rose and fell.
The sun rose.
In the afternoon the carriage returned.
Empty.