Mother was leaning over the toilet, head in the bowl. As I walked into the room Mother's head shot up. Her eyes were red and puffy from tears, her lips were dripping with blood.
"What's wrong? Why is there blood dripping down your chin?" Mother stared up at me. Tears filling her eyes.
"I'm sick, honey" She choked.
"What do you mean you're sick?" I knew the answer, she was dying, she was going to die. When Father had been diagnosed he had only weeks to live, but he had hidden the fact that he was coughing up blood from us, but I don't know if it will make a difference now.
"Sweetheart, please" I had started backing away, tears were rolling down the sides of my face. I had lost both of them and there was nothing I could do about it. I would have no one in my life, apart from Phillis but who knows what will happen after Mother dies. My world was falling apart.
"How long?" I asked. I could hear the shakiness in my voice, I could feel the sobs I was holding back.
"What?" She replied. I didn't want to ask the entire question, it hurt too much but I had to know.
"How long, have you been sick?" I choked. Mothers eyes filled up with tears again. She walked towards me reaching for my hand. Her arms wrapped around me and I could feel her tears land on the top of my head.
"Mother" I looked up at the older and slightly prettier version of me, it really was like looking in a mirror.
"I'm so so sorry sweetheart, I didn't want to stress you out or anything, I- I tried not to show symptoms but I can't help feeling tired and throwing up and coughing. I'm sorry I screamed, I was horrified at the amount of blood. I-" Before Mother could Finnish babbling, I hugged her as tight as I could and reassured her I wasn't mad or upset that she didn't tell me what was going on.
"It's okay Mother, everything will be fine" I stroked Mothers hair while she held me in her arms. I had stopped the tears from rolling down my face, I held back the sobs that were dying to come out. I choked back the little noises I was making, the wincing and the silent sobs that did escape. I tried to think fo the positives, Mother would be back with Father, she wouldn't have to suffer anymore, she would be at peace, no more coughing or throwing up blood, no more drowsiness.
"Don't worry Mother, everything will be okay, it'll be fine"
"Honey, please" Her eyes were red and sore and so were mine. She cupped my face in her palms and placed her forehead against mine and started humming Beethoven symphony. She knew this would calm me down and of course, it did. It was my favourite piece to play on the piano and Mother loved to hear me play, she used to play the song with my but on a lower or higher octave, we would hum along to it to and sometimes make up lyrics to the song. Mother patted my back and stood up from where we were kneeling. She held out a hand and helped me up off the floor.
"Go back to bed Sweetheart" She kissed my forehead and gently pushed me out of her room. As I left her room I could hear her instantly start sobbing. I could hear the desperation and sadness in each cry. Phillis was standing at the doorway, tears swelling in her eyes, her arms out wide. I ran into her arms and wept. Why did the mother have to go now? Why did she even meet William when she knew she was dying? I was confused, sad and kind of angry. I was angry at the world, why did this have to happen to me? We stood in the empty and muggy hallway for a while, crying to our heart's content. I could hear Phillis' heartbeat and feel it against my ear. Phillis was like my second Mother, she has always been there for me when no one else can help. I let go of Phillis and head back to bed.
Shakespeare had returned to his usual spot and was purring loudly. I laid down next to the cat and stroked his head softly until his tail had stopped twitching and he had fallen asleep. The spot where Sebastian had laid was cold but something had touched my fingers as I swiped my hand blindly across the blanket. It was a small handwritten letter. I looked around the room and saw my notebook had been left open and a page had been ripped out. My pencil lay in the middle of the open book. I picked up the letter, it was very thin and delicate in my hand.
The letter read :
To Anne,
I will see you again, I promise.
In a few moments, we shared
I realised you were the missing piece of me
I never knew I needed.
- Sebastian
Sebastian's handwriting was so perfect. the way he curved each letter as if the letters were speaking and they had gotten drunk and talked with a slur. I felt a cold breeze blow over me. The curtains were blowing gently as the sun began to rise. I poked my head out the window, Sebastian had really left. Why did this make me sad? There was a deepening feeling in my stomach, my mind was spinning. I set the letter down, I could hear my heart beating and feel my cheeks flush.
"I was his missing piece?" I whispered to Shakespeare. The cat raised his head at the sound of me speaking, and yawned and started kneading his paws into the blanket. I stroked his small fragile head and crawled back under my blanket and stared out the window. I could smell the rain that would be arriving soon, I wonder what Sebastian is doing right now.
"Anne honey wake up" I felt hands gently shaking me awake. I was having the best dream but the end, it was horrifying.
"No" I replied and pulled the covers over my head like a small child.
"Come on, Phillis has made your favourite, porridge and honey" It was Mother who was shaking me. I turned over and slowly opened my eyes. She was smiling down on me, her eyes glistening in the morning sunlight. I grabbed Mother by the hair and pulled her down for a hug. We laid there like that, cuddling, for a few minutes until Mother spoke up.
"Come and get breakfast sweetheart" Mother escaped from my grip and walked out of the bedroom. I slowly rose from where I lay and looked around. The letter was on my dresser where I had left it and the window was still open, it wasn't a dream. Shakespeare was still lying on my bed and purred as I stroked his stomach.
"It wasn't a dream Shakespeare, he really was here, in my room," I said. I probably sound crazy talking to my cat but he was the only one I could talk to right now. If I told Mother she would be furious that I let a boy climb through my window and if I told Phillis she would tell Mother. Butterflies had started to fill my stomach, I could feel my cheeks flush and my entire face turn red. My heart was pounding 100 kilometres an hour, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. What was he doing to me? I raced over to the cupboard and pulled out a long red dress that reached my ankles. The dress had small patters on it, around the stitchings of the dress were small embedded flowers. I slipped into the dress, put a white apron on top and quickly dashed down the stairs, taking two at a time. When I had reached the kitchen Phillis had greeted me with a smile. I turned to look at Mother and to my surprise, William and Matilda were here too.
"Good morning Anne," William said, taking his hat off and bowing.
"Good morning William and hello Matilda" I smiled. The small girl ran up to me and gave me a tight squeeze. Matilda giggled as she let go. Phillis handed me a bowl of porridge ad poured some honey onto it. I could smell the sweetness of honey, it was so sweet I could almost taste it. I took a seat at the small dining table next to Matilda and started eating. Mother and William were staring at each other as if nothing mattered, but little did William know this wasn't going to last forever, he would not be able to grow old with Mother if that is what he wished. Once I had finished my breakfast Matilda had started playing with my spoon.
"Matilda honey, don't play with spoons that have been in others mouths," Said William. I took my spoon out of Matilda's small hands and placed it back into my bowl.
"But I can see my reflection in it"
"Yes, but do you really want my germs?" I questioned. Matilda looked up at me and giggled.
"Yes silly, of course, I do, we're going to be sisters!" Matilda replied. She started dancing in her chair, celebrating. Mother turned to me and gave me a concerned look. William only laughed at his daughter and then continued to speak.
"Now, now Matilda, don't get too ahead of yourself there" Matilda glared at her Father and poked her tongue out at him. Phillis came over and took our dishes and popped them into the sink.
"I'm going up to the market, does anyone want to come with me?" Phillis asked. Suddenly an idea sparked, if I went to the market I could find Sebastian, there would be a chance he was there but a chance he wasn't. It didn't mean I couldn't try.
"I'll come with you Phillis" I replied.
"Well go get your shoes then" Phillis demanded. Suddenly excited I ran up the stairs to fetch my shoes. I grabbed a pair of black shoes and headed to the front door where Phillis was waiting. The maid handed me a brown basket with a white cloth inside.
The market was crowded, it was very hard to see any familiar faces or any faces at all. Everyone was wearing hats to shield their faces from the sweltering sun. I eyed the crowd while Phillis dragged me along to one of the stalls.
"Six eggs please," Phillis said to the man working at the stall. The man was big, his stomach bulged out of his white button-up shirt and apron. His dark brown moustache was crooked and there were very few hairs on his head.
"That'll be two pounds" The man replied. Phillis sheepishly handed the man the money and swiped the eggs and placed them into her basket.
"Anne, I want you to go get some jam and butter and meet me at the fountain," Phillis said.
"Alright, jam and butter, got it"
"Good, now be careful don't go wandering off"
"Yes Ma'am" I replied. Phillis handed me five pounds and dashed off to another stall. As soon as Phillis was out of sight I ran toward the jam stall and stopped at the seat in front of it. I stood upon the seat and scanned the crowd. It was very hard to make out faces, everyone had their heads down. I saw people with blond hair or black hair but no one with deep brown hair and fair skin. I hopped down off of the seat and stood inline for the stall. Once I had gotten to the front of the line I saw him, just a glimpse of his face, that was all I needed. It was him.
"Strawberry jam please," I said, spitting out the words. The lady smiled and slowly walked to the back of the stall. I stood in front of the stall for what seemed like years but really was only about five minutes. I grew impatient as the lady gave me my change.
"here you g-" The lady had started but before she could finish I was already sprinting to where I had seen Sebastian. When I had gotten to the place he was gone. I frantically searched the crowd and saw him again. He was standing at the dairy stall. I could only see the back of his head but it had to be him, I was sure of it. His hair shone in the sun turning brunnette instead of deep brown. I sprinted towards him and slowed as I was only a few metres away from him. I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled.
"Sebastian"