Aggression is a tough word, a strong emotion to be exact. The feelings of anger or antipathy resulting in hostile or violent behaviour. Can result in harmful physical contact too. One can feel aggressiveness when one's ego is hurt. Or when feelings after feelings pile up in a reckless manner into a stone and when it's too much to get hold of, it eventually bursts out in a rapid, stormy manner. Careless of the person standing there, or the consequence one might face due to that. None of it matters, what matters to the victim of aggressiveness is that their own feelings. Which they need to let go. In any way possible. It could be words, violent words or harsh behaviour, or reckless actions.
The lady, who was standing now proceeded to sit on the comfy couch, felt as if everything came into her mind, every single, each one of the scenarios, every of her deeds to him. Regret is what she felt upon his arrival. She was sitting there hearing every of his and Yuna's conversation, with her head bent low. Hands stiffed over her thighs. Even if she wanted to say something, the lump inside her throat wouldn't let her. Pain .It was painful.
Yuna caught a glance over the lady, sitting still like a doll, motionless, stiff. She then moved her eyes towards the young man sitting there.
'Does he really not care about her? Anymore? But he is her own....huh...no way, he does care because if he didnt -' Yuna adjusted her position, 'why would he even come here? After this many years. Looks like our lady was in contact with him after all.' She thought. 'Is it his own way of showing his disappointment towards his own---'
"Are you even listening?" Ayato caught her. Her thoughts were caught by his word.
"A-actually, Ayato..." Yuna eyes signal towards the female sitting to the opposite to them; still head bent low. Ayato understood what she meant.
He narrowed his eyes and glanced over her. Seeing her made him feel countless emotions sting like crazy. Is it his fault , eventually? Was she really saying the truth that time? Thoughts were stinging into his mind like poisonous thorns. He was bleeding mentally, but no was there except Mrs. Yuna all these years to heal his wounded soul and mind. After all that 'woman' was the one who created the wound.
He gulped. "You..You...dont have anything to...say? IF not then why are you wasting your time sitting here? Aren't you an actress? Dont you have dialogues to memorise?" . Ayato asked Her. She was surprised, she never thought in million years that...that he would talk to her first. It was the first time after that incident , he called her, to say something, rather the one to bring up a conversation. Her eyes lit up when she heard his voice. It always wasnt like that. Even if it means nothing to him, it NOW means a whole lot to her as it did before to him.
"CAN WE TALK? PLEASE? A-Alone...please?" She asked him, hesitantly. Hoping he would say yes. Even if the chance is 0.01% , still she wanted to give a try. She wasnt the type of person to give up without even trying. Well, she has been trying her best since that incident anyway. Y'all might be interested in knowing this incident right? Haha...to be exact I am quite excited myself when I am going to tell the incident. An incident between Ayato and her.
Ayato glanced at Yuna. Yuna slightly nodded at agreement. Affirmative but still hesitant. Yuna knew exactly what could lead to when both talking. Still this was the only way to clear things up.
"Fine..." He looked straight to the woman sitting. "But in one condition...you hear me?" She couldn't digest the fact that He actually agreed. Without any further ado she said 'Yes' to whatever the condition is. Just talking to him will do.
"Be sure to talk fast, I got lots in my plate anyway. I don't have the whole damn day, understood?" She narrowed her eyes a little with a slight smile and whispered 'Okay'. A smile to hide ones true feelings.
'Just how much do you despise me Jean?' That was the only thing she could think of hearing such arrogant words. From him.
They went from there to the room, a vacant room. Where no one was there. They got there not looking into each other's eyes. Maybe frightened or maybe they dont wanna, take it however way you want.
"Now speak up" , Ayato said with one of his hand in his pocket. Not wanting to face her, either way he did face her.
"Yes...um..that actually I wanted to say...that Ayato, I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness. BUT please hear me out". Hearing the word ' forgiveness' he frowned. Looking a bit away, he got lost somewhere , deciding whether he should listen to this woman or not. 'Tch'.
"Fine".
"...When I was of your age maybe 16 or 18 , I fell for someone. That man was not your father. I couldn't think of anyone beside of that man."
He swiftly turned his head towards the woman in bewilderment.
Ayato noticed the pain in her eyes while she was speaking.
"Then why did you marry my father?" He asked while he sat on a nearby chair.
"I- I was...just..a doll..which my father manipulated". The woman furrowed her eyebrows, eyes which became dark black and made a painful smile. She regretted.
Every words , every actions which she could have said at that time. But she couldn't. Intimidated by her father, she was scared. She didn't want to harm anyone in her family. She didnt want to suffer because of her actions or words.
"There were some cases after that and I had to marry your father. Not long after that....you were born". The woman came forward and placed herself in front of the young man sitting in front of her; and caressed Ayato's cheek. Hands so soft like it would melt. Hands so warm that it would protect the ones in need. YET. Hands so terribly shaking , to lose someone important forever.
"I always thought to myself...what if this was my fate. The fate of carrying someone else' child. What if this child, ends up being like his father".
Ayato was ashtonished to compile the things he was listening to. 'Does that mean, this woman, no, my mother, carried me when she didnt want to'. This thought scared him, this thought made him scared but the other cold gestures and actions didnt, which he had faced earlier. He gulped. His pupils became dialated.
"T-Then w-why did you gave birth to me? WHY?" He gazed down at the floor. He couldnt think straight. This was new.
"I thought you hated me. Yeah...you definitely hated my father and ME. Ofcourse...haha... that's why you did that to me..."
His hands were trembling in fear. 'What if she had forgiven my father. But not for what he brought upon her, that is me'.
Countless negative thought came to his mind. He shoved her hand which was touching him.
"I gave birth to you because-" Her eyes trailed off from his face as she continued. "Because I wanted to. That was one of the decisions I took after the one-sided marriage". ONE-SIDED MARRIAGE.
"What do you mean 'one-sided' marriage?" Curiosity got the best of him.
"This marriage between your father and me...lets say the feelings to marry each other was definitely a lie. Moreover, my father just casually told, that I'll be marrying some guy which would give the family some profit. Thus, no one, literally no one asked about MY feelings. Do I wanna marry him? Do I wanna be with him? NO ONE..."
Her voice trailed off. Ayato was grief-strikened. The room was silent. Only the sounds of breathing could be heard. He clutched his hand and gulped before he talked. "Did you ever hear why father agreed to marry you?"
Upon hearing what her child said, her eyes were left gaped.
Her head bent a little low, while a 'No' escaped from her mouth. He gritted his teeth out of anger. Aggression was the word he was feeling. He stood up and grabbed her arms to motion her to face him.
"How could you say Father, was the one in wrong? When you didnt even hear his part of feeling? Maybe that same feeling he got while marrying YOU. Ever thought of that?"
"Huh? What are you talking bout? He could never feel such 'feeling'. He...I hate him. He was the one who agreed to this marriage. If its not because of him--"
"Shut the hell up! I myself know that he loved you dearly. It was you who didn't consider his feelings. If you would have maybe He would be....ugh...and also we didnt have to talk like this!" Ayato shouted at her.
He knew he had to say this. Whether his mother gets hurt or not, he had to. This was ought to come later or now.
"You never took anything seriously. Not me. Not father. Neither the man you love. Not yourself. If you cant take yourself seriously and be a doll to others' wish, do YOU think you can deserve anyone? First try to deserve your true self! "
The woman stood there. Without a word escaping from her mouth.
"If I would have...considered your father...would NOW be different? Ayato?"
With the sudden question asked by his mother, he thought for a while.
"Maybe yes, only if you weren't so into your past, that is. You never looked at the bright future my father tried to gave to you. Even I wanted to consider you. But, only if you hadn't stuck your hands into your past, maybe...maybe we could've been a peaceful...family."
With that he went away, he went outside the room and sighed. He was Tired. The conversation wore him out. He was about to leave the place but Yuna stopped him.
"Ayato is everything alright?" She asked in a worried tone.
Rubbing his temples , he answered , "I am- just tired...yea..dont worry about it. Everything is alright"
What a beautiful Lie , indeed!
He didn't listen to any other word and walked himself out of that house. It was suffocating for him to be there. All those haunting memories were disgracing his mind. Also affecting him physically.
"If we were to be a peaceful family, huh?" He murmured softly, pain inflicting in his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"As if its gonna happen, tsk! " he let it out. And proceeded to move forward to his apartment.