I was once an athlete with a bright future.
That day was the national swimming championship held once a year. I'd never been nervous before in any competition, not a slight. But then, it was an exception. I felt sick of jitters. My knees trembled a little, and there was a quickening heartbeat.
Of course, it was a large scene. After all, this was the Indoor Natatorium Women's 50 m Freestyle Finals.
There were hardly any seats left. Clapping and cheering filled the place once contestants started taking their places. It was only natural that people would want to support their favorite swimmer. Reporters could be found anywhere in the natatorium. They probably went after one of the famous contestants, Li Ruman.
Hearing that such a person bothered to join an indoor competition, would have left people wondering. Li Ruman had won the Korean championship, she could just apply for the Olympics Camp Training. There was no reason to decline an outstanding athlete.
Who would have thought, that spoiled arrogant girl still bothered by the fact I beat her on last year's school competition. In the locker room, she even gave me a supercilious look, confident that she would bring me down to shame. She must have been holding grudges for a long time.
I turned around to find Coach Gao behind me. He cocked his head, "Hua, you're okay? You're not nervous or jumpy or anything?"
"I'm fine, Coach." I crossed my fingers, "There's no way I'm screwing things up, this is our chance to get into the Olympics camp."
That's right. This was supposed to be my best chance. My goal in reaching the Olympics swimmers camp.
"Just don't be too hard on yourself. You know, you can always—"
"Join next year?" I snapped, giving him a rest-assured smile. "Relax, Coach. You're nagging just like my Baba. Everything is fine. At most, I have you here, nothing can go wrong."
"Look at you!" Coach Gao shook his head. "Next competition, I'll just leave you be."
I knew he was only joking. He was like my second father. How could a coach leave his swimmer to fight on a sole battle?
"Next contestant, Liu Huayu representing You Chang Academy."
He patted my shoulder. "Come on, your turn is up."
I went out and heard cheering from the audience. As I was about to stand in my position, I took off my jacket revealing my black swimsuit inside. Before reaching the block, I did several warm-ups with the determination I had in mind: a step closer to becoming a professional swimmer.
Bending down on a position, my sight suddenly blurred before me. Something was wrong. My heart pounded in an odd beating rhythm. Faster. I hardly could even breathe properly.
It was probably my own anxiety. I shook my head, trying to let my uneasiness drive away. A voice then broke through the crowd's cheering, as though it was right in my ear.
It was a female, and her voice raised in anger. "You're an idiot."
Who was there trying to crash my confidence?
For a second Li Ruman filled my mind again. But was she the one shouting those words at me?
I swiveled my head from side to side, but there was nothing. What was even weirder was, no one else seemed to notice. When my eyes met Li Ruman's, her glares were pointed at me furiously, as though I had irritated her.
Did I just hear something just now?
I blinked hard. No, my mind was deceiving me. Pull yourself together, Liu Huayu. This was your aim for the Olympics. I couldn't lose my focus.
"On your marks—" I adjusted my goggles, ready on my position. Then, the starter's gun was shot, and all the contestants reacted by long jumping for the start.
When the cold water from the pool hit me, my heart stuttered like an engine. Something was weird. I gathered strength as I began to crawl up, only focusing on how I could catch up with my lateness.
Before I could kick to the surface, my mind was struck by blurry images in my head. My legs and hands started to feel the sensation as if ants were creeping on my skin. I was paralyzed. A voice whispered like enchantment. "Relax, dear."
Who was that?
"I need to finish the competition!" My mind screamed at me. "I need to finish it!"
Water invaded in as it owned me, thrusting its way to my nostrils. The feeling of blood rushed away from my head, and every part of my body was screaming for oxygen. Dread filled my stomach and panic hit me like a lightning bolt. Despair threatened me with every struggling gulp. I could even hear my own heart pounding—painfully—in my ears. I struggled, kicking, gasping for air.
The air stored in my lungs grew thin. Bubbles of air escaped from my mouth. Then, mouthful by mouthful of water running through my throat. My hands flinched at the pain and squeezed the swimsuit so tightly as if I would rip it.
Slowly, I became lightheaded and dizzy. I tried to claw but incredible pressure pressed on my chest, forcing my lungs to burn on the fire. My whole body shuddered, the sensation of my muscle seizing driven to my skull.
All of a sudden, everything was heavy, feeling all wan and exhausted. Numbness washed over me. My vision became more obscure as the surface became further and further away from my reach.
As my consciousness faltered, my head began imagining things.
Desperate shrieks echoed in my ears as I was trapped in the midst of the water. It was a terrible shrill of someone crying out for help, pounding to get out.
Crack-crack-crack! A series of whiplash sounded over and over roared rowdier on my ears. Sharp and intense. I almost could smell blood faintly rose to my nose—
It was like daggers piercing deeper and deeper into my heart, my very soul. It was horrible.
"You're an idiot." That very same female voice furiously said again. "You've endured so much pain, but yet, you can't escape from Him. Don't try to fight it, lean on with the flow of water, pretty soul. You sought my help and I've protected you ever since..." A blurry outline was fixed below my vision. A woman, perhaps. I couldn't tell.
Strangely enough, my body was lighter almost to the sense of floating. My eyes felt drowsy, as it wanted me to close my eyes. I let go of my strength. Released everything. My senses began to fail me.
It was then I recalled the bedtime story my father, Baba, used to tell me when I was a kid.
Probably because my mind was echoing weird things, the tale of old times that oddly flashed on my last moments.
People said those tales were spread by the mortals to let others knew Gods greatness and power. The more mortals worshiped one God, the stronger that God became. But the God that has been forgotten, lost His power and even ceased to extinct. A story of good and evil, light and dark, love and betrayal. A story where the mighty son of Celestial Emperor, the God of Sun, brought peace to the Three Worlds by ending the life of a mere demigoddess. The demigoddess who bore the child of evil was punished with a death sentence. It was for stopping Celestial Emperor to send the child to be cleansed seven lifetimes on the Human World.
It was only an act of a mother protecting her child from suffering a grave punishment. Celestial Emperor and the God of Sun cared little to the pleading of the demigoddess. The idea reached her to seek for the Goddess of Souls to exchange her soul to suffer from the cleansing instead of her child. When Celestial Emperor had known about that contract, he raged and ordered the God of Sun to send the death of that demigoddess.
It was odd. I'd never been intrigued by the story before. True, I found the tale a little tragic to be told, but I was more feeling sympathetic with the demigoddess. Several times, I almost felt like I had a connection with her, for some unexplainable reasons. Like the tale was a real thing.
But the story would always be a story. There was nothing more than that. And now, that my life was about to end, thinking how unfair it was, it could be the similar things we both shared. Died unwillingly.
Again, my ears echoed that strange female's voice. She chuckled in satisfaction, amused by my struggling. "Pretty soul, you never fail to appease me."
"You'll be fine now that I've gone to my slumber..." Her voice faltered. Her last words of "farewell" echoed weakly, as it slowly disappeared along with the pain in my heart.
I didn't understand what she means, or what I should respond. But my heartfelt the heaviness of burden and pain, as though it understood.
Then everything slowly began to fade away. I didn't want to die like this, but I couldn't fight anymore. And the last thing I felt was very peaceful and silent water before darkness ended my vision.