Chereads / I Dare Not Hope / Chapter 22 - Shape my future

Chapter 22 - Shape my future

Friday was usually a day I look forward to, but today, the thought of seeing Daniel again unnerved me, which kept me checking on the clock, willing it to stop. Instead, the hands continued turning as it made havoc on my nerves.

Today was the day. I planned to tell him that I was ready to be in a romantic relationship with him. In truth, I was not sure if I was nervous because I was about to commit to him, or it might be the thought that I was making a mistake as the words of Nathan still lingered on my mind.

After my talk with Gemma, it left me convinced that this was the right thing to do. I remembered telling her about meeting Nathan at the bar, then the dates I had with both of them. She listened attentively, without interruption and judgment. However, it quickly changed when I told her about the kiss, recalling her reaction.

"... then, there was the kiss." Now, I got her attention.

She was thrilled to know that I did kiss Daniel, but disappointed that I also did it with Nathan. Now, voicing it out made me realized how awful it sounded in my ears.

"You did what?" She got a deer in a headlight expression written all over her face. I wanted to strangle her for making this more difficult than I hope it would be. Suddenly, I felt guilty for finding myself caught in the middle of two men. I did not wish for it, but somehow here I was. Stucked in it.

"Let's get somethings straight...," waving her fingers at me while telling me to keep silent. I could see that she was still trying to get a grip on what I just said, "You're telling me that you kissed them both."

I wanted to calm her down, but there was no use. I believed a fuse just blew up in Gemma's brain as she looked at me incredulously.

"Girl... What were you thinking dating and kissing Nathan?" She was looking at me with concern. "I already warned you about him."

It finally sunk in. "I realized now that I made a very huge - big - enormous stupid mistake of going out with him." She was right. "I was caught off guard when he asked me out, and I was not thinking when I allowed the kiss to happen. The moment just took over." I reasoned, wanting her to understand my situation.

She looked at me seriously as if she was trying to read my mind. "How did you feel about it?"

I was not expecting that question from her. I thought she would get mad for what I did. "When Nathan kissed me, it felt great. It was full of electricity, sparks, the way they described it in a romance novel. The excitement took over me, but it also frightened me," I confessed, not holding anything back.

When Gemma remained silent, I continued, "Last night, kissing Daniel felt different. He made me feel happy and safe. Something I never felt for a long time."

"Why do I sense a 'but' in there?" She questioned, still with that serious tone.

"It felt like I was kissing my brother. I know. Maybe I was putting too much pressure on what I and Daniel have, but nothing was exciting about it." Voicing out my thoughts were making it more real. I was starting to question my decision earlier. If I was about to do the right thing.

"Wow Scarlet. You had been busy. I tell you that. Seriously, I'm all for you playing the field. I recommend it. You need some excitement in your life." She poured more wine and slumped back beside me. "But, I don't know if you can handle that. What now?" Good question, I thought.

I drank my remaining wine and told her of my earlier decision. She told me that she would support whatever I did as long as I was doing it for the right reasons. As much as she wanted Daniel and me to end up together, she still did not want to force something that was not meant to be.

In the end, I was the only one who could shape my future and faced the consequences. After all, not everything goes according to plan, as you could see in the way my life turned out to be.

Checking myself for the nth time, I smoothen the burgundy chiffon dress that I chose for the night. It had a straight neckline, short sleeves that sat off my shoulders, and a beautiful flowing hemline just above my knee. Paired with a four-inch heel that Gemma insisted I wear to add to the allure, as she pointed out.

He was at my doorstep five minutes before six. Typical Daniel, punctual, and he made sure that I was comfortable and well entertained throughout the car ride. The low music of a well-known band was playing while we easily laughed at his jokes and crazy stories about his youth and work.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked as my laughter subsided after he cracked up another one of his silly jokes. We had been driving for almost an hour and my curiosity was getting the best of me.

We passed the city limits a while ago, so I guessed we were not going to the fancy restaurant he mentioned last night. I could see that something was bothering him. He gradually shifted the gear and turned on an intersection bringing us to an exclusive part outside the city.

Brightly lighted streets and massive walls with huge gates surrounded by various large trees lined up the path to our direction. I imagined the beautiful gardens and the enormous houses, not houses but mansions hidden behind those perimeters.

"We are on our way to the Hayes Mansion." He said with a slight annoyance. "I'm sorry about this. We're supposed to meet with the clients in a restaurant, but Nathan decided to change the venue at the last minute."

He gripped my hand and gave it a light squeeze. "I hope it will not be a problem." He said with a slight reluctance as he peeked at me before concentrating back on the road. The streets were almost empty except for occasional cars.

"No problem," I assured him, but I still saw apprehension in his eyes.

He slowed the car down and entered a massive gate. Just like my first impression, the house was huge, and the place was gorgeous surrounded by a beautifully decorated landscape. He stopped the car a few meters before the front of colossal stairs with an enormous double door on the top of the steps.

Something was bothering him as his expression became serious. "I wanted to ask you something. I hope you won't mind." I nodded for him to continue. "Is there something between you and Nathan?"