No dreams of The Jungle last night but I did have a nightmare. They were back. I had slept in the closet as Mark tried to hold me but I just couldn't have anyone touching me.
This morning Angie was looking at me with even more worry. She kept an eye on me the whole time.
Mark was getting worried too but didn't say anything. He drove me to the line before I drove myself the rest of the way. He kept checking on me on my drive.
Today I got to step out of the car without incident. I was being waited upon by Theo. He looked annoyed.
"You don't have to do it, you know?" I'm not sure why I bother as they never listen to me. Theo doesn't say anything as he stares just beside me not even looking at me.
I sigh as I head in ignoring the stares.
To say rumors about me are spreading is understatement after Andrea's scene they grew bolder.
I sit on my seat Ander wasn't there which leaves the seat for Theo to take.
"I knew she was easy, now I believe that you left her for Hailey," the same irritating voice says.
Joseph doesn't say anything.
I put my headphones as I sigh. I knew better than to say anything.
If Theo heard I don't know as he just looked out the window. When the bell rang I walked out with him. I didn't want to stumble upon someone that might say something to me. Theo was scary as he was mysterious. No one went near him and I was hiding behind that.
During lunch I traded with Jay as he gave me my sandwiches.
I opened one as I was about to bite into it I began to sob. Tears just fell like I had this overwhelming sadness in me.
I dropped it as I started to shake. I don't know what was happening to me but it was scaring me.
I'm here. Stay with me, don't let it come out. Hold on, babe. You're so strong. Mark was sending me soothing images.
I start to take deep breaths as Diana held me. Jay looked concerned as Theo didn't even once ask if I was okay.
I continued to silently cry as the sadness in me crept out. I had trouble breathing as I looked at the ground.
Focus on me and my thoughts. I'm here. Mark sounded so on edge.
I was able to take control but I know that was not true. I didn't have control of anything.
"Are you okay?" Diana asked after I stopped shaking.
"No," I tell her.
"Do you want us to take you to the doctor?" Jay offered.
"No," I respond. "I just need a minute."
I was still in Diana's embrace, I took a few more deep breaths before I pulled away. I wiped my eyes as Diana offered me napkins. I clean the slobber as I apologize to her for crying on her.
"Don't worry about it, I just want to know you're okay," she says.
"I doubt I'll ever be."
When the bell rang I left as Theo rushed to follow me as he continued to not utter a word.
The rest of the day was pretty much the same without the crying.
He didn't even ask me to go with him to his locker. Nothing.
At the end when I waited for him by my last classroom he never showed up. I took my leave as I wanted nothing but to go home and sleep.
I almost made it to the car when Joseph appears. "I didn't start those rumors. I don't know who did," he tells me.
"I don't care," I was glad for my shades as they hid my eyes. I rather not let him relish in my misery.
"I just wanted to tell you that." He says as he steps away.
I walk without saying anything else. I get in as I look for Theo but he's not in sight.
I'll be at the line waiting for you. Mark tells me.
I drove off as I make it close to the line a stumbling Theo comes out the woods. He falls at the edge of the road.
I pull over as I look in my rearview mirror to see if I saw right.
I got out as I rush to the limp body. He was severely beaten and I was not going to stay to find the ones responsible for this. I help him up as I help him to the car as quickly as possible. Once he's in I run to the drivers side as I drive towards Mark.
Theo was moaning in pain.
"Where are you taking him?" Mark asks as he gets in.
"Bass, I didn't want to stay there so I'm not going back to cross paths with them. Bass should be able to help since he's in human form."
He had been reluctant to help Diana in wolf form but he did it for me. Since he was a doctor once upon a time.
"You need to stop bringing me patients," Bass joked as he got Theo out.
Theo groaned when he was moved. He was mostly out of it.
"Are you all right, sweetheart?" Maggie asks me. She starts to look all over me to see if I have a scratch on me.
"Yes, I wasn't with him. I just found him," I tell them.
We wait in the living room as Tristan and Bass check on him. They had taken him to a guest room downstairs. Maggie doesn't show those off since they're all vacant with the furniture all covered with sheets.
"Mark told us about you and your mate," Maggie tells me. She looks sad and hurt.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around much and seem to be neglecting you all. I just didn't want to disappoint any of you. I didn't want to admit my mistakes." I hang my head in shame.
"Oh, sweetheart. You'll never disappoint us. Life is about making your own choices. Make your own mistakes. Never be ashamed of that." Maggie holds me.
I lean into her as Ash comes to sit on the table in front of us. She holds my hand as I take deep breaths.
When Bass and Tristan come out they inform us they were able to snap some ribs back and that Theo is sleeping.
"I guess we can have our family meeting now."
I know they already know everything but I want to be the one to tell them anyway. I start from the top all the way to now as I try not to cry when I tell them the decision I made regarding Ander.
"Maybe a hex was given to your bloodline. It can be broken just need to know how it came to and what was the kind of hex." Tristan says.
"I have no clue. I didn't even know we were cursed. That I was cursed. I thought I singlehandedly did this. I thought it was my fault my wolf was dying." I admit to them.
"Nonsense. You never did it in the purpose to hurt it." Maggie says.
"I can look into some hexes that could kill a wolf and it's human slowly. That should be enough to start with," Tristan says more to himself than anyone. He goes off to his study leaving us looking at the space he left behind.
"I don't want him to stress himself with searching," I say as I stand to go stop him. Maggie pulls me back down with a little too much force.
"Let him be. This is good for the both of you. He knows what to do and you can get answers without taking your focus off school."
I sigh as I rub my face. "Can you just tell Ander that Theo is here? I need to go."
Maggie agrees to personally call him as Mark and I leave.
I lay on my bed as Mark goes to the rocking chair.
"Do you think I can pull off this look?" Mark asks me as he flips through a fashion magazine. I wasn't sure where he had gotten it but he had it.
"Yes," I tell him without looking. I can feel his approval as he flips the page.
The rest of the week went the same as I numbly went by my day. Theo was up and walking, well limping since his ribs were still healing. Mark said Ander told him that Theo had gone to check a scent he got while in class as the window was open only to be ambushed.
Theo had told them they were looking for something. So now they're all on edge thinking it's me.
The scary part was that they were more than willing to kill Theo but he had managed to escape before I found him.
I had a guard all the time. Never Ander.
It was Saturday and that meant it's his party. I had said I would be his date but I managed to ruin that as well.
"What are you doing?" Ash asks me as she steps in my room through the window.
I was doing what I have been doing, wallowing. I was laying in my bed looking at the ceiling.
"Get up, you need to shower. We have lots of work to do," Ash shakes her head.
Angie has been so worried about me that she would pass by my room to check up on me. All those times I had the door open so she can see me. Ash went to close the door as she looks at me with exasperation.
"Vanessa listen to me we don't have enough time. Get. Up!" Ash keeps insisting.
"What for?" I finally say.
Mark had left a second before Ash came in.
"Your date, duh!"
"What date?"
"The one you asked that handsome wolf to! Now get up and shower!"
I sit up to look at her in a scrupulous look. I really thought she was messing with me but she looks deadly serious.
"Okay, I'll bite, what are you talking about?"
"Ander, Mark said he would still love to go with you but that it was your decision."
"No."
"Yes!"
"No." Ash huffed since she knows I can go all day. I was free.
She dashes out the window leaving me alone. I should worry about that but I can't even bother for that.
When a knock comes from the front door I know exactly what she's doing. She was going to get help.
"Ash!" Angie greeted. They hug and compliment each other. It was coming, Ash was telling Angie why she was here.
"She was invited and I'm here to ready her, want to help?"
Angie quickly agrees as she comes up the stairs with Ash in tow.
They knock before they come in. They look excited to do a makeover.
I ended up showering to escape them and their beauty talk. They were looking through the clothes as they decide what I'll wear.
I came back as I tried to lay on the bed Ash drags me to the closet.
"We have the perfect dress for you," she tells me as I look at her. She can't be serious.
"You'll look great!" Angie adds. I smile at her but I don't have the energy to keep it for long.
They had decided I would wear the dress Angie had given me for my birthday.
Once I was changed Ash pulled me but the hand to the desk chair. She sat me down as she combed my hair.
She began to straighten it as she and Angie talked about hairdos.
"But it's already straight," I tell her.
"It's to make it more so the curls come out better," Ash tells me. "Do you think just this side?" She says as she touches the right side of my head.
"Yes! We can do little twists just that small portion," Angie agreed.
I just sat there with my eyes closed as I try not to think too much.
Think of me it always works for everyone. Mark jokes but I don't laugh.
I know he's so worried but is keeping himself concentrated as I've come to rely on him more lately than I have in years. The darkness in me was winning and I was letting the void feed even more.
That's why I don't have the energy to do anything. The void and darkness are winning and I'm dying.
Ash begins to pull my hair once she finished straightening my already straight hair. I focus on that pain instead.
"I can do a more natural look," Ash says. I had been blocking them out but once in a while they would come through my radio silence.
She was using the straightener to curl my hair to give me natural wave she said. I'm not sure if that's how it works but then again I don't really care. I didn't want to go but the thought of seeing Ander got me.
Ash was poking my eye so I took the mascara from her. I put it on as I turn to let her fix the mess that was made from the poking.
She makes me wear some nude boots as she looks at me. Spinning me to see if anything is out of place. "Here to keep your phone," she says handing me a crossbody clutch purse.
I take it as she puts my phone a lipstick and a mirror inside for me.
"We should take pictures," Angie suggests. So here I was pretending to be all smiles as I pose for pictures.
"Oh! I have this necklace that would be perfect," Angie says.
I look at her in worry, "I rather not wear jewelry besides this," I say as I shake my charm bracelet.
Ash was about to say something when Angie tells her that it's up to me.
We moved downstairs to take pictures, "save me," I plead John.
"Sorry, kiddo. This is a battle we will lose. You got it. Put a brave face on, they can smell weakness." John pep talks me. He turns to them with his brave face on as I wallow.
Maggie and Tristan came as well so now it's family pictures with just me as Ash bosses us around.
"I can't, I'm sorry." I tell her as I walk away.
We had like fifty pictures so it's not like I didn't take any with them but I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like each click took a part of me that I'll never get back.
The darkness and void were already taking so much from me I couldn't afford to lose more.
"Hey, everything will be okay," Ash tries to assure me. We were in the backyard as I try to get my breathing in control.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying but it's just so much stronger than me. I hate myself for being this weak. I'm sorry Ash. I really am." My lips tremble as try not to cry.
"You don't have to do it. I can cancel for you," she tells me as she holds me. I was shaking.
"Hey, are you okay?" Ander's voice catches me by surprise. I hadn't heard him.
I wipe my face as Ash turns to him, "I think it's better if she didn't go."
"Oh? Okay, I understand. Have a great night," he says as he walks away. He stops, "I hope you feel better."
"Wait," I say. "I'm okay. It's okay."
He turns to look at me. He was in a full suit that fit him perfectly. He even had shades on that made the look all that better. He gave me a sad smile as I walked up to him.
"You look beautiful," he tells me.
I laugh a sob out as I know he's lying. I most likely ruined my makeup.
Ash came to me to assess the damage of my tears. She had to wipe some off as it did run but not a lot at least she said.
Ander offers me his hand and I look at it. He takes it back as he apologizes. I follow him as he goes to greet Angie and John. Angie was focused on me as she looks between me and Ander. She looks at him suspiciously but takes his hand in greeting.
Maggie and Tristan give him a small smile.
He comes to me as I take his arm as he guides me to his Jeep. I get on but slip causing him to catch me. "I got you," he tells me.
"Here," Ash appears next to him as she hands me a gift bag. I take it giving her a smile.
Ander gets on as he waves at them. I don't even manage that.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can go somewhere else or I can take you to the Holt's."
"I'm okay. I can do this. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Don't leave me alone. I'm not as strong as I like to think I am."
"I got you," he assured me.
I sigh in relief. I really didn't have the energy to even talk.
I was slowly draining. The last trip to The Jungle had left me raw and low on energy.
We drove in silence as I looked out the window. When we reached the destination I see that Andrea lives in a mansion. I mean mansion. It makes the Holt's home look like a cabin in the woods. Well more like a large lodge in the woods. This house expanded far and wide. There was a huge fountain in the middle of the driveway making all the cars travel around it. The fountain had different colors popping up as the water flowed. There was different color camelia bushes surrounding it.
When we made it to the front entrance there was valets waiting to take the car. One of the valet opens my door. I take his hand as I get down. Ander joins me as he offers me his arm. I slide mine in as I let him guide me.
No wonder they had thought I was another rich snob. They thought I had this kind of money.
I don't say anything as he walks me in. A man ushers us in, I was speechless as the size of the place. The ceiling was so far up I felt like an ant inside.
We're told to head outside as it's mostly taking place there. I was offered hors d'oeuvre but I politely declined. Ander was taking one of each. He got two of the mini shrimp cocktail appetizers offering me one. He got two cucumber sandwiches for us. I was not a fan. Tuna is superior.
The yard was vast it seemed to never end on all sides. There was a lot of decorations. Ander guided me to this hedge like maze. There was a lot of hedges and cypress trees with some benches.
"There's this statue there that is gorgeous that I want I show you." He tells me before we're interrupted.
"Ander come with me," a man says.
"Tom, can it wait?" Ander answers.
"If it could I wouldn't be here. What's more important Ander?" The man sternly says. He looks at me but doesn't say anything.
"Go, it's okay," I tell him. He looks conflicted but the man looks impatient. He reluctantly nods as he tells me to wait there for him.
He looks back at me when he follows the man but I soon lose him in the crowd. There was a lot of people here.
When I walk to the bench I see that Joseph and Hailey are hidden away as they get too friendly. I get up and walk more in the garden.
I found a lot of stone statues and even a koi pond. It all looked amazing.
I walk more deeper to find a place that was all water. It was connected by arched bridges. They all lead to one small island where a statue rested. It was a beautiful woman with flowing hair. She was all white stone she looked so realistic that it seemed as if Medusa had just turned her to stone. There was so much detail.
I walked towards her to get a better look.
I was lost in thought when I sense someone nearby. At first I thought it might be another guest but I smelled a familiar smell. I let a low growl out.
"Easy, beautiful. It's just me." Finch says.
I glare at him as I can barely even talk this was not good.
Mark?
I'm here it's okay babe I'm calling your mate.
Stay with me.
Always.
He's standing on the middle of a bridge keeping his distance. He was amused as he looked at me with a grin on his face. He was wearing a black dress shirt and pants as if he were going to a funeral. Every time he moved his shirt constrained exposing the outline of his muscles. We don't say anything as we stand there staring at one another.
"It's so good to see you. You look gorgeous." He smirks. When I don't respond he winks at me. "Where is your mate? Stupid of him to leave you alone, don't you think?"
I glare at him as laughs. I really did not want to be here with him. As much as I wanted to kick his ass for all he's done to me but even I know that I wouldn't win that altercation. I'm getting weaker.
"It's just you and me," he states. He starts to get closer.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. I guess that's how I live my life. Scared or in pain. Today was no different. "Just one more day," I whisper to myself as Finch approaches me.