I gestured to Amrit to come to the dining table which I decorated with all the feelings I had in my heart. Not because I wanted to impress Amrit . Rather , I wanted to make the first lunch with the one whom I liked so much on the very first sight ,special.
It was completely for me. I wanted to make that very moment special so that it got etched into my memories. The memory to cherish life long. May be my relation with Amrit might not blossom fully . He might be a straight guy and would back out the moment he would come to know that I was into men..
So to be on the safe side , I made up my mind. Cherish the present moments. Make the moments memorable, so when the moment would not be there ...at least the memories would be .
I pulled the chair of the dining table and gestured Amrit to sit. He looked at me smiling and said " Thank you..." . I am sure , I saw the blush on his cheeks again this time .
He gestured at me to sit too.
I smiled and took my seat just in front of him.
He looked at me once and then lowered his eyes.
Could it be that he was shying from me??
I smiled a little ...the blushes , the shying aways all these though were pointing that his feelings were more towards me rather than just a camaradarie...
Yet I made my heart a little strong this time and allowed my brain to take care of the situation.
First confirm that he was into men and then slip for him.
I asked ...
"So Mr. Khanna , you are a journalist ..??"
I just wanted to start the conversation from somewhere.
He looked at me little petrified and said " Please call me Amrit ...I would love if you do that .."
I smiled a little at him.
"So ...Amrit ..you are a journalist...??" asked I again. This time correcting myself.
"Yes...actually ...I love writing as well..." said Amrit a little hesitatingly.
"Oh...that's great....you love writing ...then why don't you show me some of your works ....who knows you could be the next sensation of the town...like the "Illegal love..." said I smiling suggestively at him.
Amrit looked at me and said " I don't write for being the sensation...Kalash. I write to empty my heart. To pass on all the feelings I have in my heart into the pen and adorn them on the paper so that I feel relieved. "
At those words ...I didn't know...why I felt that there was an ocean of supressed , unsaid , unheard feelings behind those beautiful Meenakshi...
At that moment ...I felt an unkown urge of knowing Amrit more. I wanted to be a listener to Amrit. I wanted to listen to all his feelings and did not pass on my judgements . Because sometime ..we just need a pair of ears to listen to us..not telling us what we could have done in that situation or why we did not take this decision or that decision ....
Just a pair of ears with no comments , no judgements is the only thing that we all need at the moment of distress to empty ourselves out.
I thought of being that unjudgemental pair of ears for Amrit .
I told him..." You can show me your writings...I love reading. I believe that the wrtings of one person reflect the beauty of the thoughts of that person ...so I would love to know what you think...."
Amrit looked at me. He smiled and said " I would love to make you read my thoughts too..."
This time I got a little startled . Did he say that casually or he actually meant that...like he wanted me to know me as well?
I shoved the thought temporarily out of my mind and served Brinjal curry on Amrit's bowl and placed two Chapattis ( Indian thin wheat bread)to him on his plate.
He took the smell and said " Oh...it's smelling so good. My mouth is watering already ...."
I said " Then dig into it....Amrit"
He chuckled a little at me and said " Yes...I am just waiting for you to start...it doesn't look good to start before the host".
I chuckled at his words and started with my lunch.
Amrit must be really hungry because he was eating very fast.
He was cute though...I must say....
We finished our lunch while talking a little about each other's profession and about the weather in Delhi.
After the lunch we both sat on the couch again . I offered sweet Fennel seeds to Amrit. It is a tradition to offer fennel seeds after heavy meals in India for good digestion.
He took some seeds in his hands and said " Thank you...I actually needed these... you cooked so well that I ate more than what I eat normally in the noon."
I laughed and said " Then , I think you helped me discover a hidden talent of mine...I can be a good cook.."
Amrit laughed and said " Yes ..I am certifying....if you went to the Masterchef Competition...I guarantee that you would definitely be one of the finalists."
I smiled at him and said " Well , I will take that as a compliment."
Alec chuckled.
"So what about dinner...I am inviting you for today's dinner at my place too...." said I .
He looked at me and said " Well , I am suddenly finding myself really lucky that the great Kalash Ray has invited me twice to have meal with him. "
I smiled and said " You worth it. "
Amrit stopped smiling and looked at me . He looked straight into my eyes. Those Meenakshi were staring at me . He was probably trying to see my soul through my eyes in that moment . I was doing the same.
I could see Amrit's dewy lips quiver...He looked at my lips. A deep desire was evident in his beautiful eyes. The desire for something delicate . What I saw in that moment in those eyes were seemingly not lust rather they were the same feeling which a worshipper has when he stands in front of the idol of his God....it was not lust ...it was not passion....that feeling is called devotion.
I saw devotion in those beautiful eyes of Amrit . It was devotion for me.
I smiled a little.
But I wanted to see...love ...pure Love in those two eyes....for me ...
Is that possible ???
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