Monday morning came in a whizz, the wee hours nursing a mild blizzard storm up north. It was the first week and the mail was particularly heavy. Gazing out the window, I watched Charlie struggle with the huge stacks as he came up the sidewalk; his movements slowed by the raging snow. At least he had thick clothes on, lest I'd have worried.
Not that he'd ever know.
I hurried down below to the brim and bursting of warmth. Dad had returned late last night and was now perched on the twin sofa, a beige double-thick blanket around his neck as Dorian gushed over him; dropping by every second to add more coals at the fireplace, asking if he needed anything, forcing him to hot tea. I shook my head now as she massaged his legs; inciting a conversation on how his conference went, then drew the weatherproof doors apart, stepping onto the icy porch outside.
Charlie glanced up at once, our eyes locked in a brief solitude of what we both knew. I reached out for the letter stacks he held out, unconsciously brushing my fingers with his. Unlike mine, his felt warmer.
"Hey, Carl. It's for your father." he smiled down at me. My heart flipped twice then calmed. Perhaps I needed to say something too for he lingered, his smile fading as he abruptly turned and began to walk away. I frowned at his back wondering what I did wrong, before turning into the house.
I dumped the letters beside Father then went back upstairs. Pulling back the closet doors, I said. "Look, I don't know what all these mean but I no longer need your advice."
Carter looked up from his sketchbook, slowly scrunching his nose in confusion. He'd gotten paler these past few days, his skin turning white and transparent. "What do you mean?"
"Stop advising me, I don't need your help. Maybe if you didn't suggest I had to go to the festival, things would have still been the way it was."
He scratched his forehead. "We're not talking about Freddie now are we?"
I tilted my head back in surprise. "How can you be so calm about this?! If you hadn't encouraged me to go to the festival, I wouldn't have seen..."
"Great. It's Charlie." he hunched back to the floor to continue what he was doing. "How exactly did you freak him out?"
"You told me to cut my hair in order to steal Freddie's attention. Well, guess what happened, on the contrary, Charlie noticed me. He had this glow in his eyes and his demeanor was cozy. I felt closer to him than I'd ever been. But now he's acting funny."
"You didn't expect him to be so gay for you after all. What are you yapping about? You were supposed to go out with Freddie. He's the one you want. We certainly didn't agree to get you dressed up and ready for Charlie."
I felt smacked. "Yes, but still..."
"You simply don't know what you want."
I glowered at him, anger coursing through my veins. "Of course I know what I want. I've known it for three years now before you showed up."
"Well, it doesn't seem like you ever did. If you want to go for Freddie then go for him. Forget everything else about Charlie or whatever he does, can you do that?"
I looked away, a lump slowly forming in my throat. It was hard. How do you forget the guy you've fallen in love with for three years straight, one who's haunted every wet dream just like it never happened??
"You're crazy. I knew I shouldn't have trusted your words. From now on, no more. I don't need your help anymore."
"Well, your luck. A lot of kids would've paid to be in your position."
I knitted my brows together in amusement. "I am not a kid. And by the way, are you really saying that a lot of young adults out there would allow a reckless thief lodge in their closets??"
He pouted. "I'm not a thief too. I just happen to be a guy with very bad luck."
"Which is why I need you out of here before you infect me with it," I countered.
"You'll need me,"
I groaned in agony. "And please stop saying that. I don't even know you. I'm not helpless! Nor handicapped."
"In this case you are but you don't realize it. Give me one more chance, maybe I'll make things right."
I considered this for a moment, mentally tossing the possibilities. "Alright, one more advice. One bloody more."
"Okay, okay one more advice. Ah, the pressure." he scratched his head again. "This may be totally random but it's all I've got for now. I fell in love once, with James and it was the sweetest thing ever. Well, I believe it still is. We both never had sex, I tried but I couldn't still get it out of him to wait. He was very much determined to marry me first but we just didn't click. Besides falling hopelessly in love we're different like north and south. Then I met Patrick and boy, did he get me under his spell with just a glance. I fell so hard that he managed to get away with my purity that night. Then the turmoil began. With James gone, Patrick turned into a real monster. Under three months I was a walking corpse. That's when I decided to leave, then toured the whole closets in town before making my way here."
I sighed, internally dazed by the revelation. "So what you're really trying to say here is that I shouldn't be happy?"
He leaned back, resting his back against the wall. "I never said that. What I'm saying is, you should be careful with these guys. You know neither of them by hearts and appearances lie in most cases. If you don't feel comfortable with one, don't force yourself to or that may be the end."