'GUYS, HEY! OVER HERE!'
I called the group. They gathered around, me at the centre. 'What's everyone doing? Who's found something?'
Watson and Chan assembled under the jungle gym, Fatti and KT and Kane and Adam and Maeve and Eli and Omar and Esther, her arms and body and crotch soaked with mud. There was even mud in her hair. Anya marched up to me and folded her arms all staunch. Those arms won the girls' shotput, discus and javelin at the last Sports Day. She beat the boys in those events, too, cause Kane got all up in her face and dared to her to go to toe and she whupped him.
'Anyone found anything cool yet?' I called down. The others had been turning over rubbish bins and checking under the slide and tipping the swings.
'Need resource,' Anya grunted, 'We are finding food.'
Two muddy figures came near the jungle gym. The sorta-tubby one with masses of black curly hair on her shoulders had to be Fatima. 'Nothing cool found. Lend me twenty bucks til payday, babe.'
'Pay Day's like a whole 24 hours away,' I told them, and they high-fived. 'Good to see you, anyway, Anya,' I said, 'Sorry I didn't say hi before.' She snorted. Pretty normal greeting for her. Anya isn't exactly the coolest, cause of her lousy English and her manly body, but she's got tonnes of pride and the last person who dissed her went home from school with a broken nose. I guess it's cause she was raised with, like, soldiers around her all the time. Her country had a civil war after the elections got hacked by Mechs.
'Come,' she said in her Terminator accent, turning her massive shoulders, beckoning with muscular fingers. I hopped off the jungle gym. My slimy, dripping people saw I was heading to rendezvous with the crew, and they followed in a chain, cautiously.
'You are seeink?' Anya said, pointing at a pit under the fort. I noticed a manhole poked up from the grass nearby. The first kids who got here must have dug around the manhole, looking for a way down into the sewer, thinking perhaps their million was down there.
'It's a sewer. So what?'
Anya shrugged. 'Is observation.'
'Aren't we supposed to get, like, supplies? Like free gifts, that's what I heard. Free compass or something gay, is that right?'
'It's the opposite of right,' Watson said, reading a graph on his org.
'Wats!' I squealed. 'Don't tell me you're getting reception here?'
Watson snorted, and I actually saw brown droplets fly from his nostrils. 'OB-viously not, anyone with a basic understanding of radio waves would understand the curvature of a dome like this deflects … you're not understanding me. Anyway, I'm offline. No 'net. Plenty of inbuilt features in one's organiser, however.'
'Radio waves,' said KT, in dreamy hippie marketer mode, 'That is such a beautiful way to say it.'
Fatima chucked in a joke. 'Hey guys, here's a joke about being stuck in a giant jam jar. Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?' She pulled her t-shirt away from her tummy and wringed dripping river mud out of it. 'Cause the lid said 'Twist to open.' Huh? No lols? C'mon, you guys, I'm here all week.'
Eli began massaging Fatti's shoulders. 'What appears to be a glass cage I'm sure is rife with blessings. Have faith.'
Omar walked into the huddle. 'Pray all you like, Church Boy. Your prayers won't get through the glass, bro. Camo tents are what we need. So no one can spot ya. And crossbows. Pyow pyow!'
'You chose to be here, Fatti,' I told her, 'Don't call it a jam jar. No one wants to hear that dark stuff. Oi, back to, like the main point: Has ANYone seen any dinero come down? I want my CASH. Where the banks at?'
'I guarantee there's zero new shops since we used to come here,' Fatima said, 'Don't you guys member what this place used to be like? It was, like, a place that the school bus stopped. I hung out with some kids here, I think. There's no banks, I remember. Not even a Mickey D. No shops, hardly.' Fatti started getting all giggly and hyperactive. 'But DEFINITELY these rich-as mansions are gonna have some ming vases in 'em! I'ma get RICH, BITCH!'
'Me, I want a limo, of my own,' Esther said, 'And there is a limo- except there's one problem.'
'One teeny tiny problem,' Maeve repeated, picking up a fistful of bark and drizzling it.
I was astounded. 'Are you guys spoiled or what? They've left you a limousine and you're bitching?!'
'Let's pimp that thing,' Fatti went. 'Where's the limo at? What are we waiting for?'
'I'm going to suggest that a lack of petroleum distillate combustion raaa-ther thwarts the operation of your typical internal combustion engine,' Adam said, swinging then swinging away. It was creepy to see him all carefree and happy. 'No petrol anywhere. Our Kane has already discovered as such.'
'What's Rock-a-bye-baby doing here?' Maeve said, looking at me to check that it was okay to hassle him. 'Someone tell him not to play on the swing? I'm getting a total serial killer vibe from this guy.'
We noticed light on Adam's tummy. Watson caught the swing and Adam hopped off. Just before he shut down his organiser, he selected a ringtone, a trumpet-y sound. PHWEERRRRRRRN.
'It's a conch,' Adam said, grinning. 'Impressed?'
'Shit no!' Kane pressed his hands against his ears. 'You gonna tell us what a "conk" is or am I gonna beat it out of you?'
'A conch shell – and that's see-oh-en-see-aitch, the first of many lessons you might learn in here – can be used when it's a person's turn to speak,' Adam explained, smiling as if we should be grateful to him. 'Eden, I wonder if you'd be interested in speaking first?'
'Quit trying to take over, dude, I already was speaking,' I went. I turned away from him. Most of the others turned too. Except Anya. She was acting like Adam was just a normal kid worthy of respect or whatever. I sucked in some good breath and tried to let my diaphragm expand, like they showed us when we were prepping for student council elections speeches. 'ANYway, non-losers, so there's a limousine but we've got to gas up. That's doable, that's doable, just got to assign someone to go get gas. Could even fill the limo with cash, know what I'm saying? Show me the monayyy!'
'Show me the money!' Maeve repeated.
'I LOVE it!' KT squealed, clapping, 'We have GOT to make that our national anthem! I mean, can you imagine? Our own republican!'
'Republic,' Watson corrected her.
Adam activated the conch noise again, PHWEERRRN, and he was about to try convince everyone to take turns using it when Kane pointed a finger in his face. 'Conch again, and I'm gonna conk you, mecha lover.'
Remembering to demonstrate leadership, I pointed out a really inviting-looking front yard which bordered the park. I led us across the grass, with Watson and Adam trailing at the back of the group. Not everyone wanted to move but then I shoved Chan and he wheeled Esther. That's how life would work here: the respected kids would move and the rest would follow. We targeted the beautiful property, opened its perfectly balanced gate, walked boldly in, took seats on a hammock and swing seat, stroked the giant ceramic angels, washed our hands and our faces in the fountain.
I clapped to get my people's attention. 'Eli and Chan, you maybe wanna get us all cold drinks?'
Eli saluted sarcastically. 'Sure thing, Dear Leader.'
They found an unlocked window, went in, unlocked the ranchslider, searched for drinks; the other ten of us sat down. 'Let's talk free stuff,' I began. 'Like seriously, where's the refreshments, know what I'm saying?'
'Where the guns and bowen arrows?' Kane said.
Watson snorted. 'Please tell me he didn't just say "bowen arrows."'
Chan slammed a bunch of cupboards and came back drinkless and clapped. 'Discussion time. Shouldn't we address the elephant in the room, everyone? I mean, am I the only Flesh who wants to get paid around here?'
'Yeah, sorry. Lol. I'm seriously excited for payday. Haaaas anyone got anything yet? Who's found something? Anya? Eli?'
'Yeah guys,' Maeve went, standing up and positioning herself beside me and doing that annoying copycat thing. 'Treasure? Jewels? Rolexes? Bring the bling, already.'
'My people,' I shouted over everyone else's conversation, 'We're here to PAAAR-tayyy, am I right?'
'Not me,' Adam said, 'Why don't we hold our first city council meeting? We can be a democracy, with minutes and agendas, and roles and duties.' He pressed his belly button, found the Record function on his org. Creep. Recording us for the second time in a day.
'Yawn,' said Maeve, 'Council's yawn, right, Ede?'
'Fully. Yawn. People: no one's found ANYthing? I don't even wanna eat food, I just wanna look at it, y'know?'
'Might have to go back to basics,' Fatima said, devouring her fingertip. 'Get some bees going, gather some honey and nuts, domesticate yeast, get some pastry – just, what, ten years til your baklava's ready, everybody?'
Kane tossed a coaster at her. 'We're not doing talent quest, Fats. Your jokes ain't funny. Plus no one's ever heard of – what was it? Balaclava?'
Fatti lowered her head and nodded it, sadly. 'That's it,' she said, and tried to giggle, cept her throat was all thick with sad boogers. 'It's a balaclava you can eat, lol.' I felt bad for her, then. Fatti purged even more often than me, and not even getting ready for prom. Just puking after every single meal, pretty much. I think she had, like, actual legit emotional issues going on.
Fatti summoned some happiness, wiped away a tear, clapped and changed her mood. 'Ooh, who's up for Manhattans? Let's check out all these houses. Take a washing basket, you know? Fill it up with booze. Get a bar going. This can be our headquarters and stuff.'
Omar changed the subject. 'Tools. Tools are our number one priority.' He took out a huge knife from his pocket with about 20 implements on it. 'I mean this bad boy's top of the range, but another knife wouldn't hurt.'
'Where the hell'd the knife come from, dude?'
'I have a very expensive rectum,' Omar said, and winked.
'Er – expansive?' Watson asked, face screwed up in puzzlement.
'Nah. Expensive. Come see me when your cash comes in.'
We all pretended to barf and had some laughs and forgot the tension for a moment, and people all started talking at once about how our first party was gonna happen, and KT tried to get hands up for a committee, and Chan slapped her hand down and said he was gonna go search for these 2024 vintage Converse Hi-tops with titanium fibre shoelaces he'd always wanted, and Eli told him with a big smile on his face that greed is one of the seven deadly sins, then Anya said loudly, 'We must to be stockpilink,' and a big argument erupted. Everyone was talking, but no one was giving us anything to eat or drink. I kept trying the taps in the kitchen but nothing came out of them except air. It was scary to see a sink completely dried up. The need to have a drink was like a hamster in my throat that kept popping up and reminding me it was there. I wanted champagne, sprite, Mountain Dew, Coke, 7Up, soda in every colour. I would've even settled for water.
Adam activated his stupid PHWEEEERN conch noise. Everyone stopped.
'My fellow citizens,' he began. Kane was staring at him like a tiger, waiting for an excuse to pounce. 'You want jet skis, you want quad bikes. Absurd shoes; ludicrous cocktails. I'd just like to suggest you adjust your expectations. We have shelter – that's our number one priority taken care of. We'll need protein and minerals followed closely by –
'Adam, shut the fuck up already– '
'PLEASE! F-f-followed by preserved food with salt and carbohydrates. I'll assign groups to go scout. Watson – how many houses in this district?'
'District?' Watson tilted his head like an owl. 'We are dealing with a suburb. 2500 houses; 10,000 population max.'
'Twelve population, more like,' Adam sighed, 'We'll split into four groups of three. Who's coming with Kurtz?'
Watson snorted. 'I think you'll find Marlow's the hero of that particular tale.'
'Kurtz could kick Ozymandias's butt anyday,' Adam went, pointing his nose in the air.
'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOUS TWO NECROPHILIACS TALKING ABOUT?' Chan roared at them, 'Who said you get a say?'
A shadow appeared over Chan's face and his mouth opened nervously. It was Anya, stepping into the debate. She was so tall she blocked out all the sunlight coming through the ranchslider, turning her to a black silhouette.
'I come with you,' she said, and went and stood by Adam.
'Lighten up, softcocks,' Chan said, with a single laugh, 'What is this, Anya's civil war?' He tried to force the laugh again. I was the only one to donate a little laughter.
We heard a rumble, then another. Our faces tilted to the ceiling. KT ran onto the deck. It had to be a plane. We followed her. We spun in circles, probed the bushes, then our eyes met again.
We went back inside. The rumble was coming from our stomachs.
The day was ending soon.
We had to find food.