-DEXTER HAISTING-
I woke up next to Maximus his eyebrows scrunched, looks like he was dreaming something serious sweating profoundly. I lightly put my hand against his forehead in case he has fever, luckily it wasn't the case, so I wipe the sweat, and planted a kiss on his shoulder. Envy mixed with desire has been always lingering, have I fallen in love?. I look back at him, rolled in sheets he looks like some mutated snake. My underwear is missing so I slid on his sweatpants that were too big for me, his breathing changed so I lightly shake him "Max!" trying to keep my voice as soft as possible "Max" he opened his eyes breathing heavily. He hugged me tightly, always forgetting how our bodies are different sizes crushing me with his tight hug, "calm down" I trace his back a several times until my hand rested on his lower back. "What happened?" I ask he shook his head "I'll have a shower and be back quickly" he saw that I was tying his pants around my lean waist, he pulled my arm, I fall back he smiled picking me up "Max!" I was shocked and it tingled in my stomach but I put my arms around his neck. We end up showering together and while I fix our breakfast he was busy cleaning, he sometimes switches to maniac cleaning mode until he cleans it all not a simgle drop of water goes down his throat, I watch his wide back and those muscles, his musclar large torso reminds me of the those big tree trunks and then how many times, I've wrapped my legs around that waist of his, Max is sweet romantic and I'm such a dick, never have I ever cared that he sometimes choose women over me. But ever since Max has made me his slave I haven't let anyone else touch me, "Hm, you never told me how you learn cooking?" He asked while pushing the huge leather couch alone.
"I've lived alone for more than seventeen years" I set the table and he sits across me, before wiping off the sweat. "Aren't you--"
"I'll shower after breakfast" I almost forgot how much he hates cold food and pre heat dishes. He wipes his broad chest, neck, there are still bite marks all over him. I feel good to see 'em, one of my most loved and hottest work-- as if I've claimed him as mine eventhough it's just a mere fantasy "Seventeen years huh-" it feels like he has picked his weapon and was now ready to strike me so I take a step back and say "Yes" he eats, sips then eats and his eyes won't stop fluttering to me, he's curious. "I was so young when I started working, my father was an alcoholic at first then later he was an addict one day he ran away with all cash and my mother's jewellery leaving us with nothing but his loan sharks, and banks following us" his eyes changed he gulps and wipes his mouth, not a clumsy eater but there's grace to him and I know from where he picked it.
His master.
"I had to move out because my mother would die rather than selling her body, she found a job at hotel then later got into real estate, she regretted running away from her parents for the man who left her alone with two small kids. I was not that small though" he licked everything clean, he loves what I cook, meanwhile I was just halfway done "continuing school became a task, we sold our house and shift into small apartment, I started working, milkman, newspaper boy" I put the last bite into my mouth.
"Smart kids have their way of kicking, so I moved out after middle school, there was a place vacant in wood factory workload was physically killing but I endured it and completed my high school then left the job and joined archaeological team always interested in history, during my high school I didn't had money to buy fresh fruits and vegetables so I use to get the leftovers for free__that shop lady knew me for years she kept good ones for me all her kids left her so I was her son for sometime also she was my landlady. She scolded me once when she saw what trash I was eating and my health was detoriating too so she gave me a book to learn cooking and provided me vegetables and fruits. She died after eating the first cake I baked for her birthday. Not that I posioned her or something. She was ill and she couldn't get out of the bed too much"
I cleaned the dishes and he showered.
"That's it?" He asked rubbing his hair "You asked how I learned cooking" he smiled at me, my heart dropped when I saw that flawless smile I wanted to kiss him so bad but my hands were still working "This is the first time you talked so much" I apologised.
"Now it feels I finally know you, or maybe I've known you for years". Yes, that is true afterall I know him for years now but I never spoke about it, I love keeping this to myself maybe someday when he actually loves me, maybe then I will speak about it. His hands grip my torso and a soft kiss on my neck was enough for my knees to wobble, we both smell the same.
Same shampoo, soaps and I'm wearing his too big clothes. "I seriously love it when you talk" his chin resting on my shoulder, I can't expect puppy love, I don't want to get attach, I'll die if I can't have him, for me and just me.
I washed my hands and turn around facing him.
He is too precious, I stroke back of his head he leans a bit to face me "Can you show me who your brother is--I promise I won't go near him" he thought for a bit, he still don't trust me, then nods before placing his lips on mine, I gently put my hand over his chest and the other over his neck when he tries to pull back I kiss him more to hear him moan in my mouth, when I touch him further down, he is almost begging for more I leave him to get my clothes.
I get ready and walk out of his room, he pulls me back but I yank my hand back, so that he won't go to any women instead he would call me, I want him to get desperate over me but I fail each time.
If only he knew how much I love him,
I am holding back because of Ken, he will cut me into pieces and have me as his dinner that kid is the most psychotic animal alive.
Walking in strides, passed the front garden he was sitting with puzzles, putting each peice mindfully "Come Dex" I stood infront of him "I have a surprise for you" he says "sit first" I sat exactly where he gestured "How's Lily?" I nod "her cast was removed yesterday and has gained some weight" he smiled at me, I don't dare to smile back, his learned smiles are a serious problem.
He nod satisfied.
"JOHNNY!" my ears perk up on the mention of his name, I wasn't looking but then I saw a man who walked in, his shining shoes and crisp ironed trousers,I look up at the man's face, he is lean, tall and has a light colour skin his curly hair brushed back and he has same green eyes as mine. I stand up, my heart was drumming in rhythms. The boy that I lost ten years ago has now returned as a man to me, "Brother" left his lips, warm tears well up in my eyes "Jo" I pulled him into a tight hug, years of our parting, and the time I have spent worrying about him doesn't matter at this moment "Jo" I felt restless he holds me back, tighter that it feels like our bodies will crush and be one, I couldn't control my tears he stroke my back "I missed you" he says in a low hum. "Thank you, Thank you, thank you for returning back to me" I barely manage to speak we break apart he wipe my tears smiling. The Johnny I last saw was a boy and now he has returned to me as a decent man.
I kneel infront of Ken holding his hands kissing them several times "my multiple lives wouldn't suffice for this deed... for bringing back my brother" he put his other hand on my head "It is fine just give me the one you are living" after thinking it over I nod at him.
Never make promises when you're happy, I repeat never!.
"JO!" He calls "Go with your brother have some rest we will talk tommorow".
As said Jo was driving and I sat beside him, I breathe into his cologne and sweat mixed together, night grows darker and I keep falling back into my young days.
For a moment he stopped stare at the house too big for one person but Lily too stays here now. I showed him in he removed his trench coat, eventhough he is back and shares my same blood why does it feels like I don't know him at all? There is some strangeness to him that I can't point. "Dinner?" He shake his head "I'm full" he won't sit instead roamed around like a cat being put into a new place "Jo?" I soften my voice he finally turns around and probably saw the look on my face. "I'm sorry to make you worry" he said then took a seat into settee I fall back across him "where were you Jo?" I ask, question was plain and simple, he look up at me instantly his eyes darting at me as if I've offended him in someway "I shouldn't have asked?" He speaks nothing and a somber silence fills the cold room after a while he huffs and says "No not a problem you have the right to know" he shifts onto one hip.
"That kid took me out", Kid?.
"What happened? I couldn't find you for years--" he rolls his tounge then rub his eyes "You know I'm tired I wanna sleep" I thought it was better to keep it this way, maybe I shouldn't push it too far so I nod and show him the room where sometimes Max sleeps. He walks inside and immediately locks the door, as I stare the locked door tears come again I shouldn't have left him and Mummy alone. He was just a kid anyways I'm glad he is back alive standing infornt of me, maybe the one who brought him might have some answers for me. I call it a night, fill up the fridge with water bottles incase he gets thirsty at night and also put some snacks and fruits together incase he gets hungry.
I go to bed with an unstable mind so all I did was close my eyes but there are pictures running from my mind, it starts from my middle school how my mother cried while sending me off and I hugged Jo for so long that it became next to impossible to leave them, I knew something was waiting and I ignored the siren striding ahead sending money back home calling them occasionally.
Weather was losing its shit, a storm was about to hit but suddenly all fell silent and it just started raining heavily, radio was on my study table I ate bread for dinner without knowing that my mother and Jo was in danger. Never even in my dreams it occur to me that mother will be raped by so many men in that cold night Johnny was forced to watch everything and I was away from them, regret has weighed down on me for so long.
What kid would remain sane after watching such a sight?, I quit my school and went back until then it was too late my mother died on a hospital bed when she saw me, she was to embarrassed to face me. A part of me died then, we never went back to our usual self luckily our neighbour was the kindest man he was there this whole time I was absent, I got busier Johnny grew bigger until one day he ran away and never returned back, the boy left us, until men who raped my mother were dying mysteriously.
I slept at morning and I was late, it was time to check on Lily I quickly showered and put on my clothes when I rush out of my room Johnny was seated with newspaper in his hand he didn't look upto me just said "Coffee is ready, I've made an egg toast that is all I found in your fridge" surprised me sat with coffee mug after mixing milk and sugar in it.
The toast was still hot and smelled awesome slightly familiar as I put it into my mouth, that was exactly my recipe, exactly how I made it for him. He remembered. "Ace told me go with you" I gulp the last bit of toast, Why ACE? And not KEN?,
WHY?.
I didn't spoke a word about it, Jo is beside me but my brother has been away from me for so many years, he could've been someone else "watch the road" he said, I smiled and stop by at 'BLOOMING BUDS' He didn't ask me where were we, he follows me quietly occasionally looking around when Mariana saw me she smiled and gave a nod, returning inside and again coming out with Lily as soon as the girl saw me she sprinted towards me "Careful you will fall" I ran too picking her up and raising her high "Oh my dear god I missed you" I inhale in her mild shampoo, "she wants to go home" Mariana says and I nod at her taking Lily out carefully putting her on swing she had nice chubby rosy cheeks, sky was clear blue, we had icecream together and I bought her an stuffed elephant. She didn't left my hand the entire time "you have a kid" he said looking at a lovely fair girl, "Not mine but I've adopted her so you can say that I do have a kid". I have been practicing sign language but suddenly all her attention shifts to Jo. She put her hand forward when Jo lightly tap on her fist she showed the fruit gummies, Johnny smiled and took it from her hand before putting it into his mouth, kids grow fast. "You know Jo I want to get her a cycle, a trainer one shall we pick it together?" He nod at us. All of us were back to the beach house "Jo, that guy is a sick fuck if he tries anything with Lily or you. Just run I'll stop him and Max" I thought over what I said, it was impossible to stop him, not only Max but Ken, that special prick has a surprising physical strength and he could easily toss me aside. He actually don't need Max to protect him by any means yet they are stuck together. As we walk in Ken sat with a book in his hand, Lily gestures to put her down. Ken smiled at her and the girl runs towards him throwing her arms around his neck. He picked her up and stroke her back "She's gotten heavy and cute" he lightly pinch her rosy cheek. I have surprise for her Max brings in the trainer cycle, she is a lucky one to even melt a psychotic bat like him.
Lily was now sitting on his lap while he works on his PC his glasses are always shining like mirror it gets hard to see those dead creepy eyes of his.
After half hour he gets up checks some files, signs some of them and keeps on reading every page in detail then put everything down Max is there by that time he smile back at me lightly picks up all the stationery, files, his iPad and diary. When he returns back astonished by the new face he keeps staring between us gauging if his thoughts are right, "Jo haven't you told him yet?" He asks stroking Lily's hair she has fallen asleep on his lap his one hand supports her head and neck as a pillow. "I found Jo two years back Dex, he is normal now" I look at Jo, all of a sudden I feel like rage approaching me. "What do you mean by normal NOW?" Ken put his index on his lips, I saw Lily still sleeping "If she wakes up, I'll make sure you won't sleep ever again" he then slowly snakes his hand around picking her up as if she was made up of paper, He puts her on the sofa then covers her neatly "don't give her pillows Dex, it's bad for children" I nod at him.
A thought passed through me he could be the most caring and coolest father if he had kids but we must not forget how Lance died, but also not forgot why he was dead!.
"Jo was under treatment, if I talk about your mother now it won't be a red sign for him anymore, am I right Jo? Are you sweating?" He shake his head. "You should be proud of how he put your mother's soul at peace and that you don't have to kill them all with your hands" An ambulance pass from infront of the house my legs were starting to shake.
Max still looked between us, he was quiet.
I try to walk and pulled Ken roughly "Why?" His face so close to me "I repaired him to the level where you could see him as a normal being I am innocent" Max yank my hands away "Dex, are you out of your min--" I slap him as hard as I could. Jo pulled me back "It is all my fault, if only I was a good son" my heartbeats were slow "A good brother" my vision blurred through continous flow of tears "If only I--" a hand grabbed my mouth, "Please" Johnny spoke, his eyes same red as mine "I went to school we ate lunch and dinner because you were working your ass off for us, it was neither of us, You and me both are innocent and our mother didn't deserve that" he gulps "But she loved us mostly you, trust me if she's watching. She will hate to see you like this" the last thing I remember before fainting was Jo still holding me in his arms, once small and twig like are now strong and warm,
I am glad he is back!
Harsh sun blazing down upon earth, afternoon hours are of sheer torture on open grounds but in forests, dew evaporates reducing heat stress from enviourment during this time of the day animals are out to drink water rest under tree shades, before dawn breaks one must mount the horse and wait for those lovely golden creatures to show up into this crazy world of nature which never fails to belittle mortals.
NOW, his horse is one of a rarest kind running at the speed of lightning, he entered forest before he could hear a sudden caw of crow, forest breathed with cool fresh air, and sang with countless birds that were invisible. He waited by the stream tracing the spoor there were cloven hoofs onto damp mud, he saw frogs mating, butterflies of rare colors fluttering in circles. And spot a peacock no roar to be heard which means no wild cats, when he heard them and with still silence like one's dead, he removed his bow then placed an arrow on the bow "it has been more than a year that I last tasted deer" his mother's words rang through his big ears, drawing back the string he released the arrow, an Elk collapsed immediately, onto his feet stomping over stream he reached near the creature still breathing, he reached down and cracked its neck until it was finally dead. Strong iron smell caught his attention he couldn't reach his sword but his dagger was right below his upper arm, he pulled it out within a flash sword flew away and just with that speed he unsheath his sword and pointed it to the black dressed man, his eyes all over this new intruder "one step and your neck would be at my feet" with the tip of dagger he removed the mask.
He was curious about those eyes, never has he ever seen such ugly yellow eyes. No hint of facial hair, no smell of sweat. WOMAN.
Those yellow eyes are sign of devil, his heart was drumming for the first time, FEAR it has been so long since he felt fear. He avert his eyes from this devil in a form of woman "Sorry Sir but this Elk is mine" he was tounge tied yet after few breaths in and out he spoke "No it has my arrow". Poor animal had black arrow stuck to its neck but there's another one onto the hip of it, peacock fletched arrow was then pulled out, slightly shorter than his yet the arrowhead was silver. "Royal!" The woman disguised as man, the devil in his words starts running leaving dead animal aside he followed until his sword swinged right at her head she ducked at right moment and her hair were cut, "No!" She screamed they once again face each other "I am good at throwing swords try and run and I shall take your beating heart right out of your little ribs", she put her hands at front, he put his two fingers to his mouth whistling loudly, too sharp for ears. "Please Sir! Don't kill me" afraid trembling down through her knees with chattering teeth, she knew that she had offended someone higher in rank, there was nothing but death for her "You have no idea who I am" she heard loud hoofs against ground luckily it wasn't some bizarre army of soilders, he pulled a rope out of his robe and tied her hands at the back she yelped in pain her tiny wrists red,
she was then loaded on the horse like some luggage, he picked the young Elk and put it around his neck.
He studied the peacock fletched arrows and the beautiful bow. They spoke nothing but all the devil saw was those sturdy shoes, she guessed he was a skilled martial artist, she saw how big those feet were, and how fast to catch her. She lost her hair, "better than losing my head" she bite her tounge.
She was then thrown into dungeon "make sure nobody goes near him".
"Yes your highness" she was flabbergasted, when the very man was dressed into a black royal robe, hair tied, face washed, he moved like he owned the world. "So you are a princess" he asked into his breath, she couldn't take her eyes off, "those were royal hunting grounds how can one be so ignorant. That too a foreign being onto our lands" she desperately wanted to live, and know about this man who desperately wants to kill her. She was excused and was dressed officially into royal robes, "I couldn't believe I was caught by a prince" Sora ignored her smiling and clenched her teeth "Not just any prince, he's the one" she turned around "who?" Sora "Shadow of Dark" hairpin she was holding dropped down onto ground.
Sora looked back there was not a single soul lurking in those dark corridors except for the crescent moon peeking in drawing sliver strokes all over the wooden flooring.
"Prince Katsuo, the cursed child of His Majesty. These people are beyond humans, how many villages have they burned, how many innocents are sacrificed" Sora sneered "these are members of Sato Clan, I could hear those lost souls screaming in this palace" there was a sudden interruption "Amako" her father had walk in sweating profoundly "Heavens bestowed light upon us and you are left alive my dearest, but I beg you to restrain yourself from your activities for the time we are here" she stand from her bowing position "he isn't the right person for my sister" her father had glistening eyes he hated this decision but there was no other option "they will soon be invading our neighbouring states and wiping out Clans after Clans I couldn't think of anything better than saving my son, the throne" his shoulders slumped.
"
I am well aware of it, a horrible father using his own children, sacrificing them in order to protect the honour of the clan", damp night seep in like water droplets onto sand grains until morning arrived, mild showers woke her up. She couldn't sleep onto the softest of beds she ran past corridors until she was lost, like a moth first time turning away from light fluttering exploring the secrets of dark.
She reached armoury, then crossed a few corridors until she was left alone in the wide ground with rain pouring down on her, she was turning away when something moved, she stepped forward and walked into irregular steps, hesitant, she heard the singing and whistling of a sword too fast she saw arms, a big shadow moving like they were dancing a forbidden dance his big body moved with elegance. He moved his sword so quickly that it was impossible to see the singing blade. Her heart pounded when she realised she was in danger, this is the man who burned villages, palaces, slaughtered people and still have mercy of god.
That very sword was now pointing at her "You again?" He asked. She stuttered "Yes your royal highness" he lowered his sword, she smelled blood on the blade "your royal highness" he bowed to her. "Sleep is important part of humans life's your highness especially, women it gives them beauty" she accidentally chuckled then realised that it wasn't good to laugh so openly. He ignored her and untied his straw raincoat then tied it around her shoulder she flinched at the graze of his touch, why is he so warm? She thought.
He walked her into shed "Your highness couldn't sleep either?" he shake his head "I train at night always. I can't sleep" it came out naturally even he himself was surprised thinking he shared a little too much "Why is that?" She asked he watched those light colored eyes she looked like an innocent child now. He cleares his throat "I don't know, actually" Amako always had a sharp tounge "maybe ghosts won't let you" his eyes narrowed, she regret saying it. But he stare ahead "Maybe that's true I've killed so many".
"What does one's life costs to you?" Katsuo didn't realised this was the longest conversation with a strnger for the very first time "nothing" she frowned "not even mine" she felt dumbfounded for asking.
"I can't kill myself too coward to do so but each time I kill someone. I am killing myself"
She turned to the cursed prince, and could see right through him.
How shattered he was. She felt his pain "Your highness!" Sakura came running then stumbled when she saw him. "Sakura!" Said Amako then turned around and he disappeared into thin air. "What were you talking about?" Amako shaked her head.
Next morning her bow was returned to her with a new string. "This would help me with my archery" she said. Katsuo was a detail oriented man, a mixture of perfectionist but wild. He loved raw meat and especially roasted hearts of birds.
She waited days to follow him into forests, this time he was there to get medicine. she wandered with him, drank fresh water from streams caught fishes and lots of wild plants were packed to take back to royal pharmacy.
She learned Katsuo never gets tired from physical work and he eats random bugs, also he feed her on some sparse and sweetest fruits she ever ate, she packed some for her maids.
"Your highness!" He turned around why are you marking the tree "it is rare agarwood".
It was the first time Kastuo had company, a curious little princess hopping behind him asking all sorts of questions, he loved to answer. "When will we come back again?" He looked at the devil he came across accidentally.
"Next week" they were riding side by side as if travelling to the end of the world, watching golden sun setting behind those gaunt moutains as if the world would be dark forever.
It has been a month after that, Jo was actually normal I read all those files of his those disorders he generated and the whole recorded process and tons of written work, I accept Jo in any form and now Ken was a god to me, Lily played with her cycle while Jo is keeping a watch on her for some reason Lily like him better than me, she obeys and likes him more he always brings picture books for her and those sweets that she love, I feel dead while watching them, an extra, a feeling that is unsettling I don't know why recently I'm having such feelings but I can be true to myself atleast.
Dawn his obsession is acting weird, that girl slips away so easily that it's hard to keep an eye on her. Ken on the other hand has distanced himself but every now and then I find them alone with a space between them either they are talking or just sitting in silence watching stars or cars or city lights.
I wonder how patient Ken is with her and sometimes wonder if they fuck when I'm not around, I've seen her passing an umbrella so that he won't get wet in rain and catch cold also they sit infront of each other to eat in school but they don't talk quietly eat, she knows about his allergies and he knows how she hates people who make lot of noise while eating.
I envy them.
Max and I never talk too much after that day, and there is this woman June, Victoria's daughter in law a sweet girl, she's interested in Jo and I think even Jo has put his shield down to let her walk in.
I wonder what place do I belong to?.
"Pass the ball" Jo screamed and I did pass him the ball.
KEN was right happiness doesn't exists it is us we choose what makes us happy and term it happiness what you call happiness might not be the case for someone else! Happiness is an oasis that our brain has falsely created.