The void came first, Arianna Erwin second.
Aria thinks she might have.
The void is an endless well of obscurity, dangerously dark, bitterly bare.
If she could feel, she wonders if the cold would invade her soul - the void has no air, it is hard to tell anything apart. It is a still place. Unnaturally so. The space is sharp and intrusive. Aria cannot hear, a film over her ears, yet a slow, thundering, beat echoes, within and beyond the rolling darkness.
Thump. Thump, thump.
Thump.
It stutters to a stop.
A light comes to life, a single point of brightness, growing, expanding, engulfing Aria to whisk her from the void to a sea of stars; among the many glittering gems, a single star shoots off, orbiting around Aria. Beyond its gentle white hue, nothing else is visible.
"Welcome to the hall of stars, host of the unscrupulous system. I am Rin, your companion and guide henceforth," a lively voice chirps, booming in her mind, in her space, in her whole being.
Aria flinches, touching her forehead, she thinks she might have lost her mind because there was nothing and Aria knows that stars don't speak but then again Aria has been stuck in the void for so many centuries. She hasn't gone that mad yet.
"You must be confused, understandably. You have been bound to- "
"Shut up."
Her forehead throbs violently. A nerve twitches under the bridge of her nose, Aria pinches it. Mind scrambled, images fading, appearing, fading again, memories there but not there. She read novels before where the heroine would wake up bound to a system – where, how, and their content blurred, hidden behind a barrier.
As if someone had taken her memories and shrouded them in fog…
"Arianna Erwin, you have been granted a second chance," it says.
Its voice is high and adorable, childishly innocent. Aria doesn't buy it for a second. It flies around her in dizzying circles, and she has half a mind to grab it, squeeze it, and throw it off in space.
"Did anyone tell you to speak? Stop yapping."
She lifts her head, fixing her gaze on the star. The dammed thing stops at last, its colour flushing with a spring of red.
"I do apologize, it must be so, so very confusing," it adds in a sickeningly sweet voice.
Any other day, Aria would really appreciate the sarcasm, any other day Aria would not be slowly building up to an outburst verging on tipping off the precarious precipice of a cliff called madness. She smacks her forehead, repeatedly. It is the only way to release the mounting frustration.
Aria wishes with a vengeance this space was not so empty.
"Your soul is a perfect match for the system, you can start an exciting journey – "
"Yeah, no thanks."
She inspects her nails; they were still the chipped and red disaster that had accompanied her in the void. Why out of all those stars did she have to be so unlucky to get this one?
The light surrounding the star dimmed, flashed brighter, dimmed again before returning to its normal appearance. When it speaks again, the chiming voice is subdued, tone mulish.
"I apologies deeply but the opportunity to bind to a system is one in a million. I guarantee that host will receive many benefits from our union. It will be -"
Aria imagines a child, a small blue eyed, blonde, stupid child as the appearance of the star. It would be fitting.
"Union? Isn't it like waking up one day and discovering that some useless fellow married you without your consent? And considering your name, you are probably damaged goods."
She crosses her arms, imperiously pointing at the star. Honestly, she could get on with this if the dammed thing had been a proper system, Aria had enough bullshit for one lifetime, thank you very much.
"It's not as if you have a better choice," it mutters.
Curiosity swells, she knows there's more behind that comment, she lets it go anyway.
The ball flashes a deep red, a muted blue, and a shining yellow on its way to Aria. She puts out an arm, keeping it back. No invading the personal bubble, thanks.
"You can use this opportunity to get what you desire most."
Aria's head throbs harder than ever, a sour taste on her tongue, the tangled sensory input throwing her off kilter. Just what was wrong with her head? Her memories were not wiped clean, but neither could she access them.
"I can't even remember anything, what's the point."
Aria gestured at her head.
This had something to do with the stupid star. She didn't know how. Yet.
The floating star stills.
"Yes, but I do know."
Aria pauses, leaning back she inspects the glowing ball. So, it knew what she wanted, therefore it had access to her memories. Would she get them back eventually if she complied? Did she even want her memories back?
"Does your heart not ache to get back at those people?"
The light ball circles her, the lovely, high-pitched voice dropping to a low drawl. Aha, this was its play after all. It thinks Aria can be swayed by her feelings.
"That sounds great. No thanks."
A wave of pure energy pulses, knocking Aria back. Huffing, she smooths back scattered hair. The pulses increase rapidly. Aria uses her elbows to block the brunt of it. Suddenly, it halts.
"You think your next life will be good, or the one after that?"
"Whether it will be good or bad, I will decide," Aria snaps.
"You are cursed Arianna Erwin," it whispers, voice coiling around Aria.
The smugness radiating from the ball feels tangible on her skin. Aria ignores it.
"I don't care. Bye, bye, sayonara, adios, you get the gist, yes."
"Your heart aches for vengeance."
Whatever her earlier conviction had been, it falters as her chest constricts, she can't breathe and there is no air in the void and the ringing in her ear muffles everything and the blood rushing to her head makes her vision swim. She is in the void again, for the first time, alone. No sounds, no life. Just Aria and the darkness.
"Aria! Breath, now."
The voice is sharp, striking through the haze enough to get her to move. Aria slams a palm over her chest, willing her lungs to work, to inhale.
The star hedges closer, warm light spilling over her, rolling calming waves in her mind –
"Get out."
She snarls, lunging for the star, swinging wildly.
Aria recoils, hissing at the new onslaught of pain. Her body aches. Her soul shrieks. It does not make sense, Aria has no body and she cannot feel anything, she hadn't been able to for centuries.
"Enough, what is done is done. Complete your tasks and you'll be free to go back."
No. She can't go back. With or without memories, she won't go back. Aria scoffs, readying herself for another round of arguing, except, she can't because the bloody thing lights up like a Christmas tree, blinding Aria. It feels as if hooks have been put through her flesh and bones pulling taut in all directions, inwardly.
The light fades and so does Aria.