we have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one
~Tom Hiddleston
"He's gone"
Hailey gasps, and I was a bit confused. My brain was confused but my heart felt like it was bleeding.
"Where'd he go? Is he running from the cops or some mob? Did he travel?"
Hailey shook my arm trying to get me to stop conjuring questions, I look at her annoyed she was disturbing me and I see her green eyes filled with unshed tears.
"He's dead Beth"
I look at Hails, then I look at the woman sitting across from us, she wasn't denying it, a fresh stream of tears rolled down her eyes and she was holding herself. I noticed her attire. Black. She was mourning.
"But how? When?"
Hailey moves away from me and sat with the grieving mother, holding her. Catherine looks so small in Hailey's arms, her petite body shaking as waves of tears rakes through her.
"My baby is dead", she kept murmuring over and over again. I don't know how long we kept this position, maybe an hour or two before Catherine finally spoke in a strong voice, "Two days ago, he killed himself, a gunshot to his stomach, he bled out before we could get him to the hospital"
The same day we last spoke, he knew he wasn't ever going to speak to me again, he knew what he was planning. How could he do this? To his mum? To his dad? To his little sister? How could he do this to me? I knew he had his demons, everyone does, it didn't mean he couldn't confide in someone to help him through it, how bad could it have been for him, I was willing to be there for him and he just.... killed himself?
"How are your daughter and your husband?" I ask with a low voice.
"Camille is devastated. I took her to a friend's place to stay there for a while so I and my husband will take care of things here.
Poor girl, how does anyone deal with the fact that her elder brother killed himself?
"When is the burial?" Hailey asks while gently rubbing her back.
"In four days time"
I sigh heavily and realize I had been crying.
"We'll be here for the burial, Catherine, I promise"
Catherine smiles a bit, "That would mean a lot, we don't have many relatives, so it's just going to be a small funeral session, it will be nice to have you around, thank you"
We left Stephan's house three hours later, I had four missed calls from my mom asking where I was, so we had to leave the grieving mother. I wish we met his dad. The pain he must be going through because of the death of his son. I can't even imagine it.
My dad has a son for his new wife, Gabriella, who is six years old. Adrian the most vibrant boy I've ever met and I can't imagine my brother dead. I shiver a bit while holding the steering wheel. It must be so terrible for Camille. I promise to meet that girl.
"You already loved him", Hailey spoke up, looking intensely my way.
"Yes", I said solemnly.
I concentrate on the road and thought of the very first day I met Stephan.
I was in ninth grade and everyone was raving about the new cute boy that joined us. Emily and I had a fight the previous week so I knew her and her bimbos were going to get back at me for it. At gym class, they did. After playing a game of dodgeball, I found out my clothes were stolen and they poured garbage water on me. I had to leave the changing room smelling like garbage. Everyone laughed at me and called me trash, well, except for this new boy. He was surrounded by the rich popular kids and he had Emily flocking around him obviously, the girl was like a magnet when she sees a cute boy. Then he made eye contact with me. I swear there was just this connection between us, it was so genuine. He kept looking at me for quite some time. Well until I slipped to the floor, wet, stinky, and humiliated. Tears stung my eyes. Hailey was nowhere in sight. Noah was in art class. No one came to my aid.
"You can borrow my gym clothes if you want", He approached me, his green eyes boring into mine.
I guess I always felt that lingering connection between us.
"I guess I always did", I reply Hailey.
We drive silently and Hailey offers to stay for the night, Of course, I say no. I just wanted to be alone.
Parking my car in the garage I walk into my apartment, revealing my mom cuddled on the couch with Sniffles, both of them sleeping soundly.
I sigh heavily. The first and last time Stephan was here, he was joking with my mom that I was his girlfriend. Now he's dead.
I tried to sleep, but I ended up crying myself to a headache.
The next few days were rough for me- all of us I guess. Mom was so sad. She kept repeating, "But he was too young to die". Hailey notified our school and to respect the Stones there wasn't going to be school until the burial was over. Then there is going to be a talk in school about mental health and suicide.
I look at the standing mirror in front of me, feeling gloomy. I had a black short gown on, nothing much really. Adrian, my half brother was here with my mom so he was going to the burial with us.
"Beth", Mom whispers to me and comes into my room hugging me from behind, "Come on, let's go hon, or we'll be late. You said you wanted to meet Camille"
I nod and pick up my black scarf to wrap around me and my black sling bag, "I'm ready mom"
We got to Stephan's house in thirty minutes. Adrian is a really sensitive kid. He's six but he knows when there's something wrong. I and mom told him one of my friends was gone so I was really sad, he was very careful around me and when talking to me. His sweet character made me want to cry all over again.
I look for Camille and I see a girl with golden hair with white sparkly dress and green eyes holding Catherine's hand, who had a beautiful black dress on. I approach them, holding my little brother.
"Hi Catherine", I hug Catherine warmly, then I kneel to the pretty girl.
"And you must be Camille, my name is Elizabeth Reese, this is my little brother Adrian, how old are you Camille?" I ask her, holding my hand out so she could shake it.
She took it with a smile, "I'm seven, I like it better when you call me Cami". Cami looks at her mom. "Mama, Can I go play with Elizabeth and Adrian?"
"Of course honey", Catherine handed me Cami's hand and walks to a tall man that had a dark suit on, his blonde hair was shoulder length long but he had it pulled back to a bun. He had blue eyes. He was the same person in the portrait on the wall. I'm guessing he was Stephan's dad
While I was inspecting Stephan's dad, the two kids I was holding were busy discussing which snack stand to devour first, when they made up their minds, they were pulling me to get some pretzels.
After handing out Adrian one pretzel, I ask Cami why she didn't wear black, just like everyone.
"Stephan likes white. It's his favorite color, he is happy I wore it. White and grey."
"How do you know that?" I ask her, she didn't seem sad. She looked too relaxed as if her brother wasn't dead. It freaked me out to see her this calm.
"He doesn't want me to be sad. He is going to come back someday. I know that."
Okay. So Cami is still in the denial phase.
Even Adrian was stopped focusing on his snack and was looking at Cami as if she was crazy.
"Did you see him? When he did it" I whisper to Cami.
Cami didn't say anything to me and just looked at me for a long time. I thought she wasn't going to say anything until she finally said, "He didn't kill himself, it's not true"
Before I could say anything the priest was calling the attention of everyone. It was at that moment I saw Hailey in a corner with black long hair, a wig, and a short flair skirt and blouse both black. Cole was standing in front of her, saying something to her but she was looking everywhere but him, her eyes finally caught mine and she tells him something before walking towards me.
"What was that all about?" I ask her.
"He was just apologizing", she replies me taking Adrian's hand.
"You must be Stephan's schoolmates", a broody voice interjected. I look back and see the man who I was gawking at a while ago standing in front of me. His blue eyes look sharper than I thought.
"You must be Mr. Stones. I'm Elizabeth Reese, I'm so sorry for"
"I know, everyone is sorry", he cuts me short, his eyes on his daughter, who squeezes my hand so tight, I never thought seven-year-olds were this strong.
"Camille dear, let's go, your mother is looking for you". But Cami just held my hand tighter, and I feel a jolt of protectiveness take over me. It was crazy, he was her dad, there was no need for her to be afraid of him. This was a time that they all needed to be together.
"I and my friend Hailey will take her to Mrs. Stones right away" I jump in quickly and sent him a brief smile, Hailey the following suit.
"Yeesh that guy gave me the creeps", Hailey whispers to me.
"Yeah me too", I reply back. I look down at Cami and realize she was quiet and sad.
I crouch down to her, "The burial session will start soon Cami. Then everything will be normal again", I try to reassure her, I only got a weak smile from her.
The funeral session did start. Stephan was in a coffin with a white suit on. His face was so white, he looked like a vampire, with his jet black hair looking stringy and lifeless. He looked dead. Tears start to form in my eyes.
He was just there. Dead.
After the Eulogy, we all stepped outside for the final act. Cami grabbed my hand and put a single white rose on it.
"For Stephan", she smiles up at me.
I smile back and pick her up. "For Stephan"
We finally buried him. And after the final prayers, everyone made their final goodbye. Except me. I made him a promise.
I couldn't fulfill my promise to you Stephan; you died before I had the chance to. I promise to always visit you every day on your death day. I'll always bring you a white rose. For as long as I live. I love you.
I laid the white rose on his grave said a silent prayer. I feel Hailey wrap herself around me. Even Cole was standing in the corner with some guys from school. I breathe deeply and smile.
"See you around, mystery boy"